Note: This has been written as if we closed our ears and hummed through all of book six.
Harry Potter Performs Our Town
They were all looking at her. Waiting. Waiting for what?
"Say your line! Say it!" What? She thought, "My line? What line?" "Say it!" say what? "Say it!" There were more voices now: "SAY IT! SAY IT!" Hermione Granger finally took in her surroundings. She wore bright lights. She was in a purple frilly outfit. Harry was wearing a Pamela Anderson wig - but didn't his hair always look like that? And… She was on stage! "What's my line?" She asked Ron, who was wearing only a pair of underwear. Did he always have abs like that? "SAY THE LINE! SAY THE LINE!" Hermione was going to ask Ron what it was again, but the lights went out. And that's when she remembered the line. "TURN ON THE LIGHTS! TURN ON THE LIGHTS!" She screeched. "I REMEMBER MY LINE! IT'S-"
"What do you want?" she hissed quietly. Why was she whispering?
Hermione woke up with a start. It took a moment for her to realize where she was.
"God, what a nightmare," she hissed, massaging her forehead. Sitting up, she looked around the room. There she saw four of her friends in nearby beds. She was comforted by the fact that none of them appeared as they had in her dream, a dream about the school performing a musical. Something which, she noted, could never happen. Looking out the window, she was met by the brightness of the sun. The breakfast bell would ring soon, she knew, so she got out of bed and headed for the washroom. Maybe then she could finally have first dibs on a shower.
She was surprised to find that the Griffindor bathroom was not, indeed, empty. There were girls from all different grades lined up for showers, giggling and whispering about something or other. She sighed. So much for privacy. Then she remembered something: She was a Prefect! She had her own shower! It was good being a good girl.
Hermione practically skipped with joy down the hallway to the couture bathing area. She walked up to the doorway and recalled the password to get through. This feature was recent, and had been made after Harry had gotten in to the boys prefect showers during the Triwizard Tournament.
"Rubber ducks," Hermione mumbled, and the door opened on its own. Hermione strutted into the bathroom entrance, proud of herself. She had earned the privilege. She looked around…there was nobody there but her. Happy, she made her way to the door marked "Girls" and was just about to walk in, when…
"Just my luck, seeing you here."
Draco Malfoy had decided to take his annual shower.
"Really? I thought it might be mine. Considering I do it on a regular basis," Hermione smirked. "What's the occasion?"
Malfoy rolled his eyes.
"I feel honored to be the receiver of your uninspired muggle come backs, Granger."
"As well you should be. I'm certainly not inspired by the aroma that seems to follow you wherever you go."
Malfoy turned a bright pink color. "That's only because you know it's the smell of greatness."
"Sure," Hermione whispered, deciding not to lower herself further into the meaningless battle. She began to open the door to her shower.
"Are you excited to see which incredible role you're not going to get?"
Hermione stopped instantly.
"That's today!?"
"Oh, you didn't know? Perhaps I shouldn't have reminded you, then."
Crucio it! Hermione mentally kicked herself for allowing Malfoy to know she had forgotten. Then two things came to her. First: that's why she had had that dream about Harry in the wig. Second: She'd need to think of one hell of a comeback to get out of this. But, Hermione was known for her brains.
"It's not like we're competing for roles, Malfoy. Unless, of course, you would prefer to play a girl?"
"Be quiet, Granger girl," Malfoy hissed at her, and walked through his own bathroom door. Hermione sighed: that was a waste of time.
After her shower, Hermione got dressed and preceded downstairs to the Great Hall. She walked down the aisles between the Griffindors and the Slytherins, and finally found the group she had been looking for. They all had very nervous looks on their faces.
"You all look as pale as Malfoy?" Hermione joked as she sat down. Ron glared at her.
"Today's Hogsmeade, remember?"
"Like I'd forget," Hermione lied, once again reminded of the coming cast list. She couldn't believe she had forgotten about it, really, especially after the fuss of the auditions and so on.
You see, Hogsmeade, after the success of their first dramatic production, The Three Little Giants and the Big Bad Werewolf, had decided to put on another production. A muggle play entitled: Our Town. It just so happened that this was one of Hermione's favourite plays, and that she had already read and memorized the entire thing. They advertised almost exclusively to the Hogwarts students, due to their closeness to the facilities (aptly named "Wizard's Theatre"), but were also allowing adults to audition. Lucius Malfoy had been particularly excited about the proceedings, and put great effort into his audition song: How Do You Solve A Problem Like A Dark Lord. Hermione giggled at the memory of Draco's embarrassment.
So, now the students, many of whom had auditioned, were terrified to see whether or not they had been cast in the production.
"I just hope Fred is in it…" Sam, a sixth year with short blonde curls (which seemed to be uncontrollable) stated unconsciously. She immediately caught herself in the act of swooning and continued, "As well as everybody else, naturally."
"You only wish you were a better liar," Ginny Weasley joked, and Sam blushed. Ron seemed to be somewhere else entirely.
"You alright?" Harry Potter, the school's resident mighty hero, asked him. Hermione was almost shocked to se his hair black; she'd convinced herself it was blonde after that dream.
"What?" Ron looked at him, at Hermione and back to him. He definitely didn't have a six pack, just as Harry wasn't Pamela Anderson. "Oh, right. Yeah, I guess. I just really want to get in."
"You've never been the type to want to be in a play, Ron," Hermione smiled at him.
"I just want to make sure my girl, who is a shoe-in for the lead," Hermione blushed, then sighed inwardly at the knowledge that he only used that term when he was being clingy, "doesn't have to give some total stranger a little too much affection than he's worth."
Hermione grinned at Ron and they stared lovingly at one another until Harry finally shook his hand between them.
"They do that all the time," he told the group, annoyed.
"Well, as long as they stop doing it in public," Michelle, a tall seventh year with long brown hair and a kind voice decided.
"What time are they posting the list?" Seamus Finnegan asked, eying Michelle for an answer. Michelle shrugged, and Hermione cut in.
"Pretty soon…as a matter of fact," she glanced up at the gigantic clock in the room, "It's only twelve minutes away!" She stood up, and began to make her way out of the school. The rest of the table ran after her, and eventually every student that had auditioned noticed the pair. They followed down the street to Hogsmeade, making it there in very little time.
Because it was Saturday, there was no need to worry about school. So, Hogsmeade was now more packed then ever, filled with bored Hogwarts students who wanted to see if their friends made it into the show.
They all got there and crowded around a bulletin board next to the theatre. Finally, a very short man with a shirt reading "Ertaeht Member" walked down the street from the opposite direction. He had the document in his hand. The document, they all knew, that would decide their futures. He posted it, and there was an instant mob.
The Ertaeht UK Theatre Presents: Our Town!
Cast:
Stage Manager: Fleur Delacour
Stage Manager Understudy: Michelle Cantoré
Emily: Hermione Granger
Emily Understudy: Sam Roberts
George: Draco Malfoy
George Understudy: Ronald Weasley
Mr. Webb: Dean Thomas
Mrs. Webb: Ginny Weasley
Wallace: Neville Longbottom
Mr. Gibbs: Seamus Finnegan
Mrs. Gibbs: Parvati Patil
Rebecca: Luna Lovegood
Simon Stimpson: Harry Potter
Mrs. Soames: Cho Chang
Professor: Ernie Macmillan
Audience Members: Blaise Zambini, Padma Patil and Milicent Bulstrode
Constable: Michael Corner
Grave Digger: Mundungus Fletcher
Various Roles: Sam Roberts, Katie Bell and Ronald Weasley
Crew:
Real Stage Manager: Michelle Cantoré
Special Effects: Fred and George Weasley
Make-Up: Luna Lovegood
Lighting and Sound: Sam Roberts, Katie Bell and Ronald Weasley
Set Design: Lucius Malfoy
Advertising: Severus Snape
"What!?"
"What…?"
"What the-"
"WHAT!?"
Hermione and Draco were at the front of the mob, and each of them had the same reaction when they looked at the list. They were going to have to kiss each other. Not only kiss...but pretend to like it!
There was no way that could be good.