Fragments, Secrets and Revelations – A Luke/Leia/Han Vignette
Leia emerged from the steamy confines of Chief Chirpa's hut, hearing behind her Han negotiating with one of the Ewoks using Threepio as the go-between. But that all faded into the background when she noticed Luke standing in front of her. His back turned as he looked up at the second Death Star, it hovered over them like a gigantic eye, exposing them for who they were.
Luke turned his head and looked at her as she approached him, he smiled but she could see it was an effort to hide whatever was on his mind. She couldn't tell what it was, or whether Luke's Jedi training kept it concealed in his face.
So she tried the direct approach.
"Luke, what's wrong?" Her question made Luke turn around; he made as if the answer but asked her a question instead.
"Leia... do you remember your mother? Your real mother?"
This was unexpected; she had told Luke about her family after she confessed to him her role in the destruction of Alderaan. Her adopted father who had been on the planet at the time and Winter, and her aunts...but why was Luke asking this?
Well there was a way to find out what she wanted, the answer to both her spoken and unspoken question. But that could wait. For now, she would humour him.
"Just a little bit," she answered. "She died when I was very young."
"What do you remember?" Luke pressed; the question came quicker than she anticipated.
Luke's words somehow unlocked in her mind the short, hazy memories she had of her mother. Most of it was based on what her father had told her at a much later age but there was something else...she didn't know what but it went beyond the realm of the sensory.
"Just...images, really," Leia explained, trying to put words to her thoughts. "Feelings."
"Tell me," Luke said, he looked genuinely interested so she played the memories back in her mind.
There was the sensation of being held very close to someone, a beautiful face smiling weakly that looked over her. She didn't know how old she was then but all she could remember was that smile, and those brown eyes which were very much like her own. There also was the strong feeling of grief that started small but eventually pierced everything until the image faded.
There was also the rare holograph her father had shown her once, accompanied by a few brief words on how selflessly she fought for her people. And how a great many people missed her now she was gone.
"She was very beautiful," Leia said, trying without much success to find the words to match what were the deepest secrets of her heart. "Kind, but...sad." She looked up at Luke, he as lost in thought so she persisted with her own question. "Why are you asking me all this?"
Luke looked away from her in silence, as if what he had asked her was a sensitive area for him as well.
"I have no memory of my mother," he answered finally. "I never knew her."
"Luke, tell me," Leia said, her eyes warm and her voice sympathetic. "What's troubling you?"
Again there was that expression on his face ever since she had emerged from the hut. Yet this time, being on even terms with her after the sharing of confidences, he seemed determined to tell her.
"Vader is here...now," Luke said quietly. "On this moon." He added quickly as if she was expecting the Sith Lord to emerge from behind the nearest tree.
But they had given the correct code; they had gotten through the shield and past the Imperial patrol with no hint of anything that would follow. No one knew where they were, she and Luke had made sure of that with what they had done with the Imperial scouts.
But he seemed so certain...
"How do you know?" Leia asked him, if they were in danger they had to move quickly. So much depended on them deactivating the shield in time.
"I felt his presence," Luke said in hushed tones. He's come for me. He can feel when I'm near. That's why I have to go," he faced her, his eyes half-pleading, half-hoping she would understand. "As long as I stay, I'm endangering the group and our mission here. I have to face him."
"Why?" Here was another thing that seemed incomprehensible.
"He's my father," Luke replied as if it were the most natural thing in the world instead of the most ludicrous.
"Your father?" Leia hoped Luke was joking, stalling her for what he was really going to tell her but she could tell by his serious expression that this was not the case.
"There's more. It won't be easy for you to hear it, but you must," Luke said quickly as if he was afraid the words wouldn't be said. "If I don't make it back, you're the only hope for the Alliance."
He went from incomprehensible, to ludicrous, to completely ridiculous. She had seen what he could do with what they called 'the Force'. It had amazed her then when she had seen him almost effortlessly defeat the Rancor. And the few glances she got when she was on Jabba's sail barge of how he made short work of the guards on the skiff with his lightsaber, of how the weapon had glided to his hand in a graceful arc.
She could never hope to reach such heights; it was only her privilege to watch such actions take place. She imagined during the times of the Old Republic such things were common place. Now all that remained of the Jedi was standing right in front of her. And Leia was not descended from Jedi, as far as she knew...
"Luke, don't talk that way," she said nervously, trying to reassure herself as much as him. "You have a power I...I don't understand and could never have."
Luke smiled.
"You're wrong, Leia. You have that power too," his tone was reassuring, yet it wasn't purely his words that brought her around to agreeing with him. "In time you'll learn to use it as I have. The Force is strong in my family. My father has it...I have it...and...my sister has it."
Her immediate reaction was one of disbelief, but Luke's gaze was so trusting so... sincere. Why had he asked about her mother? Why had he told her he had no memory of his own? It started to all make sense; so much so that Leia wondered why she had not recognized the connection between them ever since he had walked into her cell on the first Death Star.
"Yes," Luke said, smiling in recognition. "It's you Leia."
"I know," Leia said, her eyes were far away and her voice didn't sound like her own. "Somehow... I've always known."
"Then you know why I have to face him," Luke replied.
"No!" Leia pleaded. She had lost too much as it was and she knew what would happen if Luke turned himself over to Vader. "Luke, run away, far away. If he can feel your presence, then leave this place," her eyes began to mist over but she fought back the tears. "I wish I could go with you."
Yet this wasn't enough, even her fears did not deter him.
"No, you don't," Luke said firmly. "You've always been strong."
"But, why must you confront him?" Leia asked, after all the unbelievable things she had heard from him in the space of only a few minutes this still seemed the largest, and the most uncertain.
"Because...there is good in him," Luke said putting all his belief and conviction into those words. "I've felt it. He won't turn me over to the Emperor. I can save him. I can turn him back to the good side. I have to try."
Something in his eyes made her stop what she was going to say; something in it reminded her of the boyish earnestness that was in his face whenever he looked at her. Yet here he seemed hopeful, not just hopeful, determined in not what he believed, but what he felt he knew. Then she knew that there was nothing she could say to change his mind.
They embraced, Leia held him close hoping that somehow she'd be able to convince him, be able to hold him there indefinitely. But she knew as well as he did that it was inevitable. Still, that didn't make it any easier.
Leia felt tears on her face as Luke slowly released her and he walked away into the night. A part of her wanted to run after him, trying to convince him to stay or take her with him or anything that would stop her feeling so alone.
So she stood there in the moonlight, watching him dissolved into the darkness and she did not try to stop the tears that cascaded down her cheeks. Yet she had to go on, not just for the Alliance but for herself and her brother as well. He was on well his way to becoming a Jedi so she would not fail him.
The moment was broken when Han emerged from the hut; he looked at her then looked around for Luke.
"Hey, what's goin' on?" He asked her, his cocky swagger seemed completely out of place.
"Nothing," she said with a wavering voice as she tried to dry her tears, but Han noticed. "I...just wanted to be alone for a little while." She explained quickly.
But Han wouldn't leave her alone.
"Nothing?" He looked at her carefully. "Come on, tell me. What's goin' on?"
Oh, wouldn't he just go? Leia thought almost viciously. Beside, it wasn't his secret to know, it was hers and Luke's and telling him just then would make it worse.
"I..." her voice faltered again as she spoke. "I can't tell you."
"Did you tell Luke?" Han demanded, his voice rising in anger. "Is that who you could tell?"
"I..." Leia said but her voice cracked and she couldn't say anymore, maybe if she didn't answer he would leave her alone.
He started to walk away in temper, then stopped and walked back to her, apology in his eyes. "I'm sorry." He said, hands held out to show her that he meant no harm.
"Hold me," Leia said and she felt Han's arms secure around her.
Somewhere she knew Luke was walking through the forest, intent on finding the bunker. There Vader would be waiting for him...their father.
Memories of that same cell where she had met Luke came flashing back. The pain of the heat and needle...the whirrs of the droid and rasps of the dark lord's breathing...and later watching the destruction of her world, the only place she felt safe gone. And all the while he had been standing there and didn't say anything...her father. Did he even know? How could he just say nothing after what he had put her through?
No, she told herself pushing the thought to the back of her mind, there are more important things right now, more important that nightmares that come true.
Yet as she stood there, held tight in Han's strong arms, she thought of her mother – that beautiful brave woman she had always wanted to know – and wondered what seemed so inconceivable now she knew the truth: Why?