classy girls don't kiss in bars, you fool
firaga productions


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Yet another "Soul meets Maka in a bar" AU.
I think I've read at least a thousand. I think I'm addicted, actually.
Which is silly, since I've never entered a bar before.
Not super satisfied with the ending, but whatev. OCD bartender is hysterical and idc what you say.


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And I made her laugh, I made a pass
I showed her my half-dollar ring, she said
"That's pretty cool
But classy girls don't kiss in bars
you fool."
- The Lumineers; Classy Girls

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The music in here sucks, there's too many people and nowhere to hide, and - damn it, Black Star ditched him AGAIN. He rolls his eyes and turns his attention to the OCD bartender, who seems to be having a panic attack over the arrangement of liquor bottles on the shelves behind him. One of the other bartenders, the tall blonde, is attempting to calm him down and make drinks at the same time, and Soul can't help but be impressed by her talent. He watches the bartenders for a while before turning back around to glance around the room.

Oh, there's Black Star.
He wonders who the Asian woman is.
She looks too nice to be one of the usual weekend conquests, but he also doesn't recognize this look on Black Star's face, so he shrugs it off - maybe he actually likes this one - and continues his analysis of the room.

He's not the type to go to bars very often, only when Black Star drags him, really, and tonight is no exception. His idea of the weekend is sleeping til noon in his boxers on the couch, maybe a game of basketball with Black Star, Kilik, Harvar, and recovering from the excessive human interaction with another extended nap, but Black Star greatly enjoys the bar scene, and usually asks Soul to play wing man for him - because "No woman in their right mind would pick a small guy like you over my godliness" - and sometimes Soul humors his god complex.

But as per usual, Soul's left at the bar with a bottle of Dos Equis, Black Star's working on getting into some girl's pants, and now it's just him and the OCD bartender.

Seriously, why does he even go to this bar?

He's sitting on a barstool, back against the counter, watching the crowds of people walk from table to table, listening to whichever shit local band booked this weekend, some couple in the corner over there making out, some other couple having a really intense fight, the clinks of glasses and bottles and ice over the sounds of laughter and conversation, and he's beginning to contemplate paying his tab and leaving, when out of the corner of his eye some girl takes the seat next to him and orders a shot of Fireball.

He turns his attention to the girl, pale blonde hair falling over her shoulders, looking like she's more than ready for a few shots of alcohol, and smirks.

"Rough weekend?" he asks, much more boldly than he's used to in himself. She swiftly turns her head towards him, and he decides immediately that he's really into the intensity of her bright, green eyes.

"My friend ditched me," she finally answers with a shrug, gesturing over her shoulder towards a familiar blue-haired friend with a god complex.

"Asian?"
"Yeah."

Soul smirks, "I got ditched, too, thanks to your friend." She makes eye contact, smiles ever so slightly. He turns back towards the bar, where the blonde bartender is sliding the Fireball towards this girl.

"Make it two, both on my tab," he tells the bartender, who nods, and the green-eyed girl's smile turns into a grin. She waits til his drink is delivered, they down the shots together, and she extends her hand towards him.

"Maka Albarn."
"Soul Evans, nice to meet you Miss Albarn."

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"For the love of god, Kid, you JUST rearranged the bottles last week, they are FINE."

"You don't understand, Elizabeth, the liquid levels in the bottles have changed since then, and now they're not symmetrically arranged, and I just might DIE."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"What was THAT FOR?!"

"Get a hold of yourself, damn it, we've got customers and I can't handle this kind of business alone!"

"You didn't have to slap me!"

"You've forgotten about the bottles at least, now go take those orders!"

"..."

"What is it now, Kid?"

"You only slapped the right side of my face... And now-now... it's NOT SYMMETRICAAAAAALLLL."

"For fuck's sake, Kid..."

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She snorts when she's trying not to laugh, and her nose crinkles up, and he knows he's had like 3 beers and a shot of Fireball, but all be damned if it isn't the cutest thing he's ever seen in his life. She's got a Long Island Iced Tea, she doesn't like beer she says, thinks it's the same as drinking straight piss, and he's pretty sure she wouldn't normally use that terminology if she hadn't been drinking.

Damn, she's cute.

"So, d'you come here often?" she asks, and it's his turn to snort.
"Use that line often?"
"Oh, shut up, that's not what I meant." Her cheeks flush darkly and she narrows her eyes, he takes another sip of his drink and raises an eyebrow coyly.

He's impressed by his own forwardness, though the alcohol may have something to do with it.

"I know, I know, I'm just messing with you." He smirks, she rolls her eyes, but he doesn't miss the way the corners of her mouth tilt up ever so slightly, and he's decided that he's really into it. Wonders what it would feel like against his own. He's probably had a little too much to drink.

"Not really, I'm not a bar type honestly."

She nods her agreement. "Me neither, but Tsubaki really wanted me to come with her tonight, said her friend is playing in the band or something, so I agreed."

"In that band?" He gestures toward the stage.
"Yes. Why?"
"Oh, nothing. If you're into that sort of suckage, I guess."

Maka shrugs, "I'm not here to see them or anything, I was just keeping her company."
"Right. Of course." He takes another drink.
"And what is that supposed to mean?!" She's got her eyes narrowed again, arms crossed over her chest, he's trying not to blatantly stare but he's pretty sure he's really into this girl because he's always had a thing for feisty. He smirks.
"I'm just sayin', Miss Albarn, that you don't seem the type to know a thing about good music."
"Oh, and you do? And why do you keep calling me Miss Albarn?!"

He shrugs. "It fits. Don't change the subject."
"I'll change the subject if I want to change the subject!"
"You're yelling."
"I'll yell if I want to yell!"

He's laughing now.

"Why are you laughing at me?!" she demands, he composes himself, places an arm on her shoulder and grins.
"Because I've decided that you're cute."

That effectively shuts her up, and he leans closer to her slightly, smirking again at her discomfort.

"Um... thanks," she mumbles, fidgeting with her hands.

He's close, almost too close, their foreheads are almost touching, and he really wants to lean down and kiss her. She looks up at him, smiling slightly, and she doesn't back away, so he takes this as an invitation, but just as he's leaning in to close the difference, she ducks her head with a grin. He backs up quickly, looking everywhere but her face, a scowl crawling across his features. He knows he looks pissy by now, he knows himself pretty damn well, and he always looks pretty ticked when he's embarrassed, so he lets the scowl come across his face, even as she leans over closer to him, her shoulder pressed against his own.

"It's nothing personal, nothing you did." He can hear her smiling, and he can't help but smile, too. "You've just gotta take me on a real date first, is all. Okay?"

He grins, they exchange numbers, they talk for a few more hours, have another drink. The OCD bartender finally gets over his issues (for the night), the band finally stops playing, Black Star and Tsubaki leave long before Soul and Maka, and he's beginning to rethink the bar scene - maybe it's not so bad after all.