Mario, Luigi, the Princess, Yoshi, and Toad had just gotten back from a picnic.
"Later today, we should play golf," suggested Mario.
"I think that's a fantastic idea, bro!" replied Luigi.
"I hate golf!" protested Toad. Wario was watching Mario and his friends from behind a bush.
"Those clog for brains wouldn't know golf if it bit their butts!" mumbled Wario. Wario was riding a blue Yoshi steed, named
Boshi.
"Well, you're so fat you always look like you're about to keel over every time you swing your club" said Boshi.
"Fat is in, these days! Shut up, trogolodyte!" said Wario, slapping Boshi's face. Mario, Luigi, the Princess and Yoshi all hopped into respective warp pipes leading to Lakitu Valley.
"Wait for me, nimrods!" yelled Wario, jumping off of Boshi's saddle and racing towards a warp pipe. He was too late. All
the warp pipes had faded into thin air. Wario fell flat on his stomach, mumbling and grumbling grumpy nonsense under his
breath.
"Those plunger headed plumbers left me here all alone! To reach Lakitu Valley without the help of a warp pipe is pretty difficult," thought Wario. Boshi came over to comfort Wario, licking his hair.
"Weh, waah, stop it you tyrranasaurus trogolodyte. Yer not gettin' another dog biscuit for a whole week" said Wario.
"I'll help you get to Lakitu Valley!" said Boshi.
"Are you nuts? I'd have to go through Bowser's Castle to get there. And Bowser hates me for some reason. I'm not
even sure why, I wanna kidnap the princess too!" said Wario. Boshi sighed.
"Come on Wario, let's go!" said Boshi. Wario grumbled. "Oh, alright," said Wario. "But don't eat all my ginger snaps!" he added. Wario looked into his ginger snap bag, seeing that
they were all eaten.
"Waaah! Arrrrr, you stupid little fool!" thundered Wario, stomping the ginger snap bag into the dirt repeatedly.
World 1: Mushrooms in the Sky
Wario finally reached the land of the giant mushrooms in the sky. He was only viewing it from down on the ground
however.
"How the heck am I ever gonna get onboard that sky-high toadstool from down here?" thought Wario. Then he saw a
Shy Guy riding on a magic carpet directly above him.
"Use a sling-shot!" suggested Boshi.
"Why won't you just eat him with your freakishly long tongue?" asked Wario.
"I think it's important for you to use your own brain" said Boshi. "Brains shmains, it's all about finger strength, trogolodyte. Hot stuff baby, hot stuff!" said Wario, pulling out his sling-shot
"I'm gonna get that stupid fool off of that carpet" thought Wario. With one shot, the shy guy fell off the carpet, running
away wailing in pain. Wario hopped atop the magic carpet, and began flying up to the sky. He landed on a toadstool. He
bashed a question mark block and some delicious cheese sandwiches made with french bread fell down. "Those look delicious!" thought Wario, gobbling them quickly. The cheese sandwiches turned him into a mustachioed
block of cheese temporarily.
"I will not accept this" said Wario. He transformed back into Wario. Then he bashed another question mark block. A
feather fell down. Wario grabbed the feather. He became Wonder Wario, and gained a cape. Some Goombas tried to
assault him.
"You shall not pass!" said the leader goomba.
"Quoting Gandalf will get you nowhere" said Wario.
"You shall not pass, that is not a joke. You can't go further" said the goomba.
"Give me one good reason why!" said Wario.
"We said so," responded the goomba.
"That's not my kind of answer" said Wario, defeating the goombas by performing a cape spin. He sent them flying in all
sorts of different directions. Then Wario got a good running start, and flew to the next platform, where encountered a
sleeping Wiggler. He picked it up and tossed it away. Then he flew to the next platform. The final platform. This was the
platform containing one of Bowser's many castles.
Inside Bowser's Castle:
"Woah, that lava looks nasty!" said Wario. "It's also home to Blarg, Bowser's pet fire dragon" said Boshi. "Keep your mouth shut, trogolodyte" said Wario. "Would you quit calling me that?" yelled Boshi.
Hours of exploring later, Wario comes face to face with Bowser. Bowser was resting on a pillow shaped like a Thwomp,
cuddling a teddy bear, when suddenly he was awoken by Wario's footsteps.
"How dare you enter my castle" said Bowser. "I'm in the middle of my annual slime bath!" he added. "I can see that, King Koopa. That's kinda gross" muttered Wario.
"RARRRRRR, WHAT DID YOU SAY?" thundered Bowser.
"Nothing sire, nothing your royal koopaness" said Wario, whistling to himself.
"Do I DETECT INSOLENCE?" asked Bowser.
"Wouldn't dream of it," replied Wario. "I think you have a swell place here, especially with all the lava pits and chainsaws and radioactive chemical waste" he added.
"Do I detect SARCASM?" thundered Bowser in an angry violent vociferous tone.
"Well, actually, yes!" said Wario.
"You're lucky I'm not the Fire World Bowser!" said Bowser.
"What do you mean?" inquired Wario. "You mean you're not the real Bowser? You're just a decoy?"
"Not a decoy. A magical copy. So yeah, I'm the real Bowser. But I was cloned eight times with a magic spell" explained
Bowser. "Eight of you, really. One seems hard enough to deal with" said Wario. Bowser then lost his temper and stomped on Wario, flattening him like a pancake, and then proceeding to kick him into a lava pit. Luckily for Wario, he landed on a Goonie bird who happened to be flying by. Wario used a spare fire flower to become Fire Wario. Then Fire Wario shot fireballs down at Bowser, defeating him.
Later, in the next room:
"What? No gorgeous princess?" protested Wario. Toad was standing there, motionless.
"Hey, who are you? Why are you just standing there?" yelled Wario. Wario punched Toad. But it did not wake him. Nothing did. Try as he might, even using him as a punching bag did not work.
"WAAH, weh, this insane" said Wario.
"I'm under Bowser's curse! To break the spell, play the magic flute" said Toad. So Wario pulled out his magic flute and began playing. The spell was then broken. "Get in my hat, Toad!" said Wario. "WHAT?" yelled Toad, horrified.
"Get into my hat, little man" said Wario. Wario picked up Toad and placed him inside his hat. Who knows why. "Give me directions on where to go!" said Wario. "From in here?" asked Toad. "YES! You know this kingdom better than I do" said Wario, poking a hole in his hat.
To be continued...