FANFICTION

NAGISA (Assassination Classroom) x HIDEYOSHI (Baka and Test)

(HIDEYOSHI POV)

'Chiselled Flowers'

PART 1

Apparently it was quite a journey to get from one end of the fairground to another…nevertheless,I had chosen to take it slowly, savouring the atmosphere and the little details around me.

I entered confidently through the proud double gates, 'Kyoto Fairground!' engraved in bold golden filigree.

There was a clear, straight pathway directly through the centre of the fairground. Plump nimbuses hovered carefree in a sea of baby blue sky, the sun shining warmly in it's full was Saturday mid-day, so it was relatively busy, mostly packed with hyperactive school-children or bored teenagers with nowhere else to go. As I entered I could see a large merry-go-round, a Ferris wheel, a roller coaster, a few side paths leading to indoor facilities like bumper cars or a haunted house…your typical fairground. Each side of the path was lined with shops and stalls, selling everything from cotton candy to anime posters. I could hear the screams that only innocent toddlers can make, the whoosh and screech of various rides and attractions, a cacophony of storeowners hawking their wares and desperately clinging to reluctant customers, some carefree, festive music humming softly in the people I passed were mainly engrossed in their own affairs, vainly chasing after runaway children, queuing patiently,fixated on their phones like the scum of our generation,or a rare few quietly enjoying the environment, like me. I smiled wistfully to myself. Maybe this could be a pleasant experience after all-

The girl's whisper was hurried with an undertone of astonishment.

'Mite,mite!'

I gulped slightly, but continued walking. Maybe there was some cute kid, or a ride had just become available-

'Holy SH*T did you see that girl's legs? Look at how slender and supple and smooth and shapely they are! Perfectly proportionate!'

Evidently there were more onlookers.

'And mite,mite-look at how her hips shift slightly when she walks, parading her dainty, delicate curves! She walks so gracefully!'

'Look at how pale she is! The famed 'ivory' complexion! She practically glows under the sunlight!'

I clenched my teeth in indignation, sensing that the onlookers were slowly following me, gradually closing today, Hideyoshi, not today…just lift your head and keep walking…

'Yo, I can totally see how long and graceful her neck is now...'

'Hmmm, I usually don't really look at other girls but I will admit she has great fashion, that cardigan totally shows off how skinny and petite she is…great hair too….'

'Kawaii!"

'Sugoi!'

'Maybe she's a celebrity? I'm so jealous, look at me guys, I'm like a Totoro next to her…'

'No you're not your makeup is so good today!'

'Oh gosh, she's pretty,she's beautiful, but maybe she wouldn't want us gossiping about her, it's rude, particularly to a graceful young lady like her-'

'MATTAKU I'M A F*CKING GUY! CALL ME Hideyoshi-KUN, BITCH! MO! EVERY TIME I SWEAR!'

I dimly noticed that I had wheeled around,took a furious step forward, and was literally jutting my neck out in order to scream at their faces.

I was facing five girls, maybe sixteen or so, around my age. They all wore crop-tops and short shorts, with makeup thick enough to peel off. They were staring at me, frozen, with mouths open.

Thankfully, the roller coaster nearby had drowned out most of my outburst for the onlookers. However,there was one shop-owner nearby leaning out of his stall nearby, blinking slightly. As I shifted my gaze to him, he quickly brought up his phone and promptly took a picture. It took all my self-restraint not to walk up to him and batter down his stall as I saw him closely analysing the picture with a questionable grin.

Without a second glance backwards, I turned tail and kept walking,slightly quickening my pace. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the girls huddle together and continue whispering,their tone more confused and hesitant this time.

'Cosplay?'

'Transgender?'

Well back to business, Hideyoshi.

I glanced at the pamphlet in my hand. A bright pink pamphlet wrapped with a sparkling green ribbon and emblazoned with 'Hideyoshi' in purple capitals on the cover. I opened it and read it once again.

'Kunugigoaka Junior High School' and 'Fumizuki Academy': HOLIDAY FUN!

'An enjoyable way to foster inter-school camaraderie,interaction and friendship! On behalf of Kunugigoaka Junior High School and Fumizuki Academy, we have arranged an entire variety of exciting activities to start your exciting holidays!

PERSONAL PROFILE AND GUIDANCE-HIDEYOSHI

Year Level:11

The activities we have organised for Year 11 students of these schools will take place mid-day of this Saturday, in a variety of locations!

Class: F

Class F of Fumizuki Academy and Class E of Kunugigoaka Junior High School will have their activity take place in Kyoto Fairground!

Student: Hideyoshi

Hideyoshi of Fumizuki Academy, these are your personal directions:

Once you have arrived in Kyoto Fairground, rendezvous with the person bearing the 'NAGISA' the 'Hideyoshi' pamphlet and the 'Nagisa' pamphlet have the same design. THEN ENJOY THE FAIRGROUND TOGETHER! This activity trains many things: orientation in finding your way through the fairground, observation in being able to pick out the correct corresponding card, and of course-the most basic team,the most basic group of friends is a pair…and from our observations you two will get along like the moon being blown up!

GOOD LUCK!'

The extract ended with a circular yellow sticker in the vague shape of a face,bearing two beady black dots for eyes and an impossibly wide, sparkling grin.

I sighed slightly. What was the point of this again…

'Yoshi, sit up straight on your chair thank you very much!'

Yoshi slumped even further over his table, only his messy brown hair visible as he mumbled faintly.

'Isn't this the final class before the holidays? You've been droning on about this for ages…school ends and we go on holiday at 12PM..it's already 12:10…'

The Sensei chuckled slightly to himself as he repositioned his glasses.

'Twelve AM Yoshi…we finish at 12AM…we finish at midnight...not 12PM!'

Yoshi's head jerked upward with animal speed-the sudden motion toppled him from his stool, his flailing legs serving only to snap his flimsy wooden table in two. He stared straight at the teacher as he lay spread-eagled on the ground, his eyes widening as if he was a real-life anime character.

'NANI!'

'Of course! All of you have been conspicuously absent for most of the term-the one day where you're all present happens to be the final day of school,so with the very kind permission of the headmistress I have decide to force you all to stay until midnight and study like your life depends on it, which it probably does, which of you have any talent whatsoever that might sustain you without conventional academic support hmmm? Perhaps one of you can't study to save your life but you can sing like an angel? Perhaps one of you can't work out 1+1 but can run like one of those stupid anime 'speed-blitz' characters? Hmm? CHIGAU!'

The entire class winced simultaneously at the raw scorn in his voice.

'You're all just good-for-nothing BAKAS!!'

'Um, Sensei?'

Ninja Pervert's voice was timid and high-pitched. The Sensei swivelled his deadly gaze toward him, his glasses gleaming in the sunlight filtering through the window.

'If I may sir, about that special talent point you raised…about whether one of us has a guaranteed occupation reserved even if we fail every single aspect of our studies...'

I glanced backwards briefly-sure enough Ninja Pervert was eying me carefully.I bowed my head slightly in anticipation, screwing my eyes shut as tight as possible.

'Hideyoshi?'

I had perfectly timed my execution. In the instant the Sensei swept his gaze toward me I raised my head.

As that deadly glare landed I lifted my head and gave him the widest, most innocent, most unashamedly cancerous grin I could muster,flashing rows of sparkling white teeth. I widened my eyes, sparkly and pure and mirthful and shimmering with a faint sheen of moisture from closing them so tightly,tears clinging to my thick eyelashes like morning dew.A stray breeze wafted through the cracked window and shifted a lock of smooth, silken hair over my forehead. I really had mastered how to control blushing, and a subtle tinge of rosy pink washed over my cheeks as I stared Sensei straight in the eye, a proud representative of my future occupation.

Sensei essentially never lost his cool.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Yoshi's eyes essentially pop out of their sockets as Sensei foundered in his chair, desperately fixing his gaze downward. Ninja Pervert's mischievous grin widened even further as the entire class realised Sensei's efforts were futile.

Sensei's face was redder than any nosebleed Ninja Pervert had ever suffered.

Still furiously gazing downwards, Sensei spoke, the icy authority in his voice gone entirely.

'And what might that be, Hideyoshi?'

Pause for of truth. Make your voice as high and sweet and autistic as humanly possible.

'Professional trap, Sensei!'

After a moment's consideration, I added the strange,shy 'e-heh!' giggle I always heard in anime for good measure.

Evidently that was the final straw.

'So yes class,the activities detailed in that pamphlet are absolutely compulsory, no exceptions…'

Sensei stumbled out of his chair, his hand suspiciously clasped over his face.

'Do something beneficial in the holidays for a change eh 'bakas'?'

After a noticeable moment's silence he stuttered; 'The mosquito bite I got this morning has suddenly become inflamed I'll just be in the bathroom for a second,so don't any of you dare leave…'

The door closed resoundingly.

In any other circumstances, the entire class would have taken this golden opportunity and escaped.

Instead, we all sat in quite some shock.

'I didn't think it'd be THAT effective…' muttered Ninja Pervert.

I had heard the other day that the silence people are most eager to break are the ones they cause themselves. I interjected.

'So um…why though? Disregarding everything else, why that school?"

Mizuki's high,quiet voice spoke up.

'I heard a rumour that our school and the one in the pamphlet might merge very soon-'

'Oh really?" interrupted Yoshi. 'You really do know everything Mizuki you're a genius!"

Mizuki's ensuing blush rivalled the Sensei's.

'Still though, I hear it's quite an interesting school…' murmured Minami. 'It's meant to be prestigious enough to rival ours.'

Yoshi began to moan in protest.

'Hey,even they have a 'Baka' class. Apparently they're on a separate campus and everything. And most interestingly…'

Sensei's footsteps sounded down the corridor.

'Apparently the school houses something very, very…special.'

I was the last through the door. I had to wait patiently for Yoshi to literally crawl his way through, moaning in lethargic agony.

The moon was brilliant today, a radiant shaft illuminating the empty classroom as it entered through the broken window.

'Hideyoshi, if you wouldn't mind could I just have a quick word with you.'

I turned obediently and made my way to his desk.

Sensei smiled slightly at me.

'You really are quite something Hideyoshi…'

I began to summon the almighty cancerous grin before Sensei abruptly put up his hand.

'Luckily though, you're not a freak. It just so turns out that, by sheer co-incidence…'

He leaned in closer, lowering his voice.

'The very school we're co-operating with houses someone;someone who I think you'll find quite...interesting.'

'Who though?" I thought to myself, the swirling bustle of the fairground rushing back into my mind. I was now walking quite vigorously. 'I still really don't get the point of this at all…'

I re-read the pamphlet once again in exasperation.

'Rendezvous with the person bearing the Nagisa pamphlet.'

But wait…if I was called Hideyoshi and I have the 'Hideyoshi' pamphlet, then the person with the 'Nagisa' pamphlet must be called Nagisa. Good job, Hideyoshi, you're not a baka after all.

Find Nagisa.

'Mattaku though, it doesn't even have so much as a description or a picture of this person..how the hell am I supposed to-'

I felt a sudden jerk of impact as my shoulder collided with something, heard a slight thud and a surprised intake of air. I reeled backward instinctively.

For some reason my gaze fell on the ground before me.

I froze.

A bright pink pamphlet, tied with a shiny green ribbon. In blue capitals on the cover-

'NAGISA.'

The very first thing that crossed my mind was that this must be the most agonisingly cliche way to meet someone ever.

I bent down politely to pick it up.

When I stood back up, 'Nagisa' was staring straight at me.

Besides being able to control blushing, I had learned how to quickly, discreetly and efficiently take in every aspect of a person's appearance at a moment's glance.

My eyes traced over Nagisa's body with trained swiftness.

Sand-colored shorts that came about halfway down the -high black socks, and simple white sneakers. Small feet, fragile knees, rail-thin legs. What skin showed was smooth and pale.

A long-sleeved sweater of baby blue cotton, with a white collar. It seemed a few sizes too big, hanging loosely over a petite frame. Narrow shoulders, tiny waist, no protruding chest or belly eyes lingered for a split second on the hands. They were as small and frail as a child's.

A long, slender neck.

Our eyes met.

My first observation was that all the facial features were small.

Tiny nose, tiny ears, tiny mouth, tiny jaw and chin. A round face small enough to cover entirely with one palm. The skin was perfectly smooth and as pale as porcelain, no hint of facial hair, veins, pores,blemishes,pimples,moles,freckles, instead shining with a moist glow. Soft, delicate features, almost disturbingly so. No hint of bone definition whatsoever.

A face that seemed like it belonged to some fairytale elf, that it would shatter with a single touch.

But what got me was the eyes.

Massive, perfectly round eyes, with long,thick,dark curled eyelashes, bright and sparkling, filled with an alluring youthful liveliness. They were the same shade of baby blue as the sweater.

I didn't quite know how to describe the hairstyle. Thick? Long, wispy bangs in front with two prominent tufts at the sides?

But it was also a perfect baby blue. The combination of the hair and the eyes and the sweater was almost hypnotising.

I held onto eye contact for another full second. I dimly noticed that the person was the same height as me, that they were also very short.

'Nagisa.'

Frankly,candidly-Nagisa looked exactly like a 5-year-old girl.

An additional moment of silence. Nagisa's gaze drifted downwards onto my pamphlet. His eyes widened in recognition.

'So you must be Hideyoshi.'

A high-pitched voice. Tender and sweet. Did not do much to change my first impression.

The silence stretched. A middle-aged woman walked by, cradling a toddler in her arms. Her expression indicated exasperation and patience pushed ever so slightly too far. Her gaze fell on Nagisa.

'Take a look at that young girl over there, why don't you? Yare,yare! Every time I try to follow your demands, every time I give in a little and say let's have some fun, this happens? Look at that girl! Look at her! No-one following her everywhere-and she can still remain silent! In my day all girls were meant to be like this!'

Nagisa's eyes never shifted from me.

But, for an instant, something flicked across his eyes.

The mirth and purity of his expression faltered for that one space of time.

If I had blinked, I would have missed it.

And suddenly it all made sense. All the pamphlet had said was 'Nagisa.'

But now I knew.

My mind raced ahead in that one instant. What others said about Nagisa. Nagisa's reaction.

Nagisa had begun to open his mouth.

But before he could talk, I clasped Nagisa's mind warmly in mine.

I stared straight into Nagisa' eyes as they widened. And I mustered my most genuine, good-natured grin.

For a split-second, I felt enveloped in silence. A surreal cocoon,where the meaningless drone of the outside world faded to nothingness.

All I heard was an intake of air, rather taken aback.

I closed my eyes with slow deliberation.

Yet that sheen of baby blue remained seared in the midnight abyss of my vision. That delicate,shimmering baby blue that gazed upon me.

I took a deep,deliberate breath.

'Konichiwa…'

'Nagisa-KOHAI.'

(to be continued)