A/N: I really don't know how this happened. I've had this idea since s04 finale… What if Harvey would get hurt, would Donna be able to stay away? I think she needs him as much as he needs her.
I am not a writer, I'm just doing this for fun and most of all, because we need as many Darvey fics as we can get! I hope you'll enjoy this little hurt fic. I don't know how many chapters there will be…
It makes me so happy to read your reviews, please leave a comment and make this girl happy!
Harvey Specter is mad. Or sad. He doesn't know. The only thing he's sure of, is that he now has this permanent knot in his stomach that makes him sick and dizzy.
A few weeks ago Donna left him to work for Louis. It happened really fast.
When she was charged with intent to commit fraud, he felt like someone was trying to drown him and he was only able to catch his breath once they were celebrating their victory. He was on her couch letting his guards down, he took one look at her and lost his breath again for a totally different reason. He thought she knew the effect she has on him, but things got overly complicated and she left him.
Now it's been weeks of awkwardness at the office. They were as close as two people can be without being in a romantic relationship. But now that he thinks about it, maybe all this time they were "romantic" without admitting it. Of course, they weren't sleeping together. But they did, once. Or to be more accurate, multiple times in one evening. And maybe that was enough fuel for them to be connected sexually all these years. Nothing ever since. Her rule. Probably so they don't get hurt, and since she claims to know everything he believed her.
Obviously, she doesn't know everything because he's never been more hurt in all his life.
So Harvey is mad. And sad. And weeks of tossing and turning in his bed, thinking about all he could have done differently to make her stay, was starting to take a toll on him.
He slowly sits down in his bed, looking at the alarm clock, 4:30 a.m. Not that early considering all the other nights where he barely slept. Maybe going for a run in Central Park would stop him from overthinking everything. Maybe if he would push his body hard enough it would stop hurting so much. Cracking his legs, he puts his sweat pants on, not even bothering changing his t-shirt. He bends downs and ties his running shoes.
'
'
At the crack of dawn everything is calm and slow. The air is crisp and he can feel his fingers tingling as he clasps his iPod and runs a quicker pace. It is still dark around him and he looks straight at the horizon. He's trying really hard not to think of her. It is the weekend. Later she will do yoga. She will put leggings on that will hug every curves of her lower body and a loose t-shirt that will fall off one of her shoulder. She will put her hair in a knot, her long neck exposed… He remembers kissing her neck, her soft moaning under his hands, her nails digging into his back…
He swallows, shaking his head, trying to put the memories away and he pushes himself even harder, running faster.
The last thing he would remember is seeing his iPod flying away from him while hearing a loud noise. Like his life hit a black wall.
'
'
Every Sunday at 9 a.m. sharp, Donna Paulsen has a yoga class. She is grabbing her yoga mat and her tote bag, ready to go, when she hears the phone ring. Pretty much everybody she knows is aware that she has yoga every Sunday so she is curious as to who it might be. She runs back inside to answer the phone.
"Am I talking to Miss Paulsen?" asks an unknown voice.
"Yes, who am I talking to?"
"Miss Paulsen, I'm nurse Mona Smith from Mount Sinai St Luke's Hospital. I am calling you because you are listed as Harvey Specter's emergency contact. He's been in an accident."
Donna feels her throat closing up and going dry. She can't remember how to breathe. Her voice comes out in a whisper. "What happened?"
"We don't know. He was admitted earlier this morning as a trauma victim with possible brain injury. He was found unconscious in Central Park. He lost a lot of blood and needed a transfusion. It isn't life threatening but he's been drifting in and out of consciousness and he keeps on asking me to call you."
"I'll be there immediately."
'
'
Sitting on an uncomfortable chair, she has been scratching her red nail polish off her nails for the past 90 minutes, and now she is bleeding from her thumb, scratching the skin around it with her index. It is all a blur. They explained to her that Mr. Specter was found unconscious on the ground, bleeding heavily from a head wound. He probably was lying there for a while before someone found him, and by the time the paramedics brought him to the hospital he was severely anemic and needed a blood transfusion. He must have slipped on broken beer bottles because they had to remove broken glass from his wounds. A stupid accident, they said. It seems like he fell head first, his head hitting the ground.
"Miss Paulsen?"
Donna slowly lifts her head and sees a small woman, probably in her 50s, with short grey hair and wearing round glasses.
"I'm Doctor Cohen," she says extending her hand.
Donna lightly shakes her hand, she can hardly feel anything, and she can't even speak. The doctor offers a soft smile.
"He's is doing fine. We managed to run all the tests and the MRI showed no brain damages. He does have severe lacerations on his skull and a concussion. He also sprained his left wrist."
Donna feels like she can finally breathe again. She gets up.
"You can go see him now," says Doctor Cohen. "This way…"
She follows Doctor Cohen down the hall, not knowing what to expect. Her feet are heavy and she is suddenly aware that she hasn't drink in the past two hours. Reaching the door, Doctor Cohen says "he doesn't remember the accident. He's also dizzy and confused, that's normal with a grade 2 concussion. Of course we gave him pain meds so he may seem worst..."
Donna walks across the room and sees him.
He only has minor bruises on his right cheek but she has never seen him so pale. He has a head bandage. His wrist is in a brace and there is still blood under his nails. His lips are dry and even though he is sleeping, his eyebrows are knotted like he's in pain. Donna feels the urge to touch him and would like to try to fix him, but she knows she can't.
"He was lucky…We'll see how he is later today and this evening but if he remains stable you'll be able to bring him home tomorrow. A nurse will come see you later. Try to make yourself as comfortable as you can."
"Thanks for your time, Doctor Cohen," Donna says as the small woman exits the room.
Donna doesn't know what to do with herself. Harvey is sleeping. She sits in the chair beside his bed and figures she should text Jessica, as Harvey will definitely not be working this week. She also texts Louis, knowing how pissed he is going to be that HIS secretary is at Harvey's side and that she has to take a few days off. She also texts Mike, because he will be looking for Harvey that's for sure. Oh and Rachel. They were supposed to get coffee later today… Her fingers are rapidly tapping on her phone, her eyes glued to the screen and she doesn't notice two brown eyes looking at her.
Harvey cannot move. He just woke up, feeling so much pain but as he opens his eyes he sees her curled up in the chair beside his bed. Donna focusing on a task has always been his favorite Donna. Her long hair is strapped in a ponytail and she is biting her lower lip as her eyes are trained on the phone. He can feel his heart beating in his head so he knows he must be hurt pretty badly but he decides it is better to focus on her instead of focusing on the throbbing pain. He tries to shift in his bed, but a wave of nausea hits him as his head starts spinning. He closes his eyes and starts whimpering from the pain.
She turns her head, almost dropping her phone. "Harvey, are you awake?" She gets up and sits on his bed. He opens just one eye and mumbles.
"Donna. I don't know what the hell happened. It hurts…"
"You hurt yourself Harvey. You fell and you have a bad head wound."
She puts a hand on his arm, making smile circle on his skin. After a few minutes she can see him relax.
He smiles weakly. "I knew you would be back, you couldn't stay with Louis. You miss me."
She rolls her eyes. "Geez Harvey. Next time you want to see me just walk down the hall and bring me coffee, you don't have to be so dramatic and crack your skull open!"
He smiles but doesn't reply, which was very un-Harvey of him. She could see he is in pain as he is clenching his teeth. His hand that isn't in a brace is closed into a tight fist.
"Hey, Harvey…" She talks softly, now putting one of her hand on his fist, her fingers caressing the knuckles. She knows they don't touch. They shouldn't touch. The last time they did was "the other time" but she can't bear seeing him in so much pain.
"Donna. I'm so sorry." He whispers.
She is confused. "Why Harvey?"
He opens his eyes and looks at her. "I should have deleted you as my emergency contact when you left. This isn't fair…"
She slips her fingers between his.
"Harvey. When they called me, it didn't even crossed my mind to call someone else to be with you. I could have called Marcus but I didn't. I wanted to be there with you."
He blinks and smiles at her. He obviously can't focus because of the pain and the meds. She feels his hand twitching under hers and he drifts asleep. She feels so tired too and she releases his hand, gets up and pushes the chair closer to his bed. She sits in the chair, her head resting on his bed and falls asleep to the sound of his slow breathing.
'
'
Donna feels a hand lightly shaking her shoulder and she opens her eyes. She sees Harvey, sitting in his bed. She rubs her eyes and stretches her legs, sitting straighter.
"Do you want my muffin?" He asks her.
She wrinkles her nose and smiles. "Ewww…Harvey! Is that what you're calling it now? You're that old?"
"I know you will like it," he says amused, "I know you like sweet things."
He has a platter of food on his legs but she notices he barely ate anything. He still look rather pale. He knows her too well so he answers her unspoken question.
"I'm not hungry, Donna. I feel nauseous. I ate the apple sauce. You can eat the muffin and have my coffee." He motions to the tray and she takes it, placing it on her knees. The coffee is warm and soothing for her dry throat. The muffin is no Dean and Deluccas but for a hospital muffin it is quite decent.
Someone knocks on the wall and they see a blonde nurse entering the room.
"Hello Mr. Specter. We checked everything and it seems your condition makes it safe for you to go home. We printed this discharge notice with recommendations. We also set an appointment to check your staples in two weeks."
Donna quirks an eyebrow. "You asked for your discharge while I was sleeping? How long did I sleep?"
"Enough that it's been 24 hours since the accident. Donna, I haven't slept a lot. I keep waking up…I want my bed." He whined.
"What Mr. Specter needs right now is to rest." The nurse adds. "He can do this at home, under supervision. I assume you'll be the one going home with him?"
Donna nods.
"Okay. So he needs someone to check on him closely for at least 48 hours. We need to make sure his condition doesn't deteriorate. It is normal for a concussed patient to experience headaches, dizziness, and to feel nauseous and moody. Also, his sleep pattern could be affected. Meaning it could be lighter or more profound. Tonight you will need to wake him every two to three hours just to make sure he remembers simple details like his name."
"Does this mean I can't go to work?" Asks Harvey.
"Mr. Specter, you won't be able to concentrate and you may even forget things. Yes, that means you can't go to work this week."
Harvey lets out a big sigh.
"Not only you suffered a concussion but you have a bad head injury. With your headaches and confusion you will need help making decisions…"
Donna laughs. "See that's funny, because he always needs help making decisions."
"My secretary left me so I don't have anyone to help me making decisions anymore," he says dryly.
"So there will be no problem with you taking some time off at home. If you two have any questions please call the number on the sheet I gave you."
The nurse approaches the bed. "I'm going to change your bandage but you have to remove it in 24 hours, then you can get someone to help you wash your hair. Without soaking your head of course." She quickly removes the gauze with her hands and cleans the wounded area on his skull. Donna is watching, wide eyes.
"Do I look that bad?" he asks her.
Donna is repeating to herself that she is an actress. She can do this. Harvey looks bad. Patches of hair were shaved off, and he has many staples on his skull she doesn't even dare to count how many. There is still blood and a blue bump. The nurse is putting a clean bandage.
"Ha Harvey, I'm just not used to seeing your hair so undone, you need gel!" She winks at him.
"There you go," says the nurse. "You are free to go now." They shake hands and they thank her as she leaves the room.
Harvey sits on the bed, legs hanging over the side.
"So…I could call Marcus."
"Harvey! Marcus has two kids and a restaurant! He doesn't have time to babysit his whiny wounded older brother." She sighs as she takes a step towards him.
"I left you as a secretary, Harvey. I'm still your friend. This isn't work related. I will help you…"
"Okay, first task…"
"Harvey! You are not going to give me orders!"
He crosses his legs. "Huh Donna. I am not wearing any underwear. I only have this hospital gown."
"Oh. Oops."
"I guess all my clothes were soaked with blood." He shrugs his shoulders. "But I am not going to please the crowd by leaving naked!"
Donna rummages through her tote bag.
"Well, Harvey. I have those black yoga pants and this t-shirt. Maybe you could squeeze into those?"
He knows the only other option is calling Ray to send Donna to his condo, waiting for her to come back, meaning it could take two more hours before he could be at home. He figures he doesn't look that good today anyway. He reluctantly agrees, asking her to turn around.
Donna is looking at the white wall, trying not to laugh when she hears him groan.
"Donna. I'm going to need help getting this t-shirt over my head."
As soon as she turns around he sends her a death glare.
"Don't. Laugh."
He looks desperate. Standing up with hip-hugging yoga pants and a t-shirt that he only managed to get through his wounded wrist and halfway through his head. She tries hard not to laugh.
"What's the magic word Harvey?" She teases.
"Really Donna? Could you PLEASE help me? He begs.
She takes the shirt in her hands and quickly manages to get it over his head and his other arm. Pulling it down, her hands brushes his torso and it makes her heart flip-flops. She remembers her nails digging his skin while she was moaning his name all those years ago. She immediately hates herself for thinking such a thing while they are both in a hospital room. She takes a step back, distancing herself from him.
"Voila! You are ready to go!"
The Harvey standing in front of her is far from the one she is used to. She digs her phone out of her bag and he jumps.
"No! Don't you dare take a picture of me looking like a trans-hooker who had a rough night."
"Harvey, I am not that cruel. I am just calling Ray to pick us up."
He slowly walks behind her as she is getting out of the room. She turns around and snaps a picture.
His mouth hangs open. "I can't believe you did that!"
"Harvey, relax. It isn't to use against you. I just think maybe Mike and Rachel would like to see how you are doing."
"Can we just go home," he groans.
'
'
The ride home is uneventful. Ray, after years of services knows when it is time to shut up and that is definitely one of those days. As they are getting closer to his condo, Donna can see him struggling not to vomit in the car, his face drained of all colors, his head resting in his hands. He also doesn't speak a single word. He keeps his eyes closed in the elevator, his body slouching on the wall. As soon as Donna unlocks the door to his condo he heads directly to the bathroom where she hears him gag and cough.
It breaks her heart but she knows there is nothing she can do. Knowing her way around his condo she goes to his bedroom and picks up clean PJs. She then goes to the bathroom and knocks on the door.
"Harvey, are you okay?"
She hears the shower. She opens the door and leaves the clothes on the floor, immediately closing the door. She walks to the kitchen and sees the little cactus. He hasn't died. In fact, he has a flower. She is stunned. The little pot is sitting on a post-it. She takes it and reads it, recognizing Harvey's handwriting.
-cooling period, no water during winter months
-spring and summer: move to window for maximum light, more water, fertilizer
Her hand is shaking. She can't believe he did research on how to make a cactus bloom. Her thoughts are interrupted by Harvey's weak voice.
"Donna, I need help."
She goes to the bathroom. He is standing only wearing his pajama pants, t-shirt in his hands. He looks tired. She doesn't even speak and she takes the t-shirt and puts her hands through the collar to expand it, pulling the t-shirt down over his head and helping him getting his arms through the holes. As soon as she is done, he drags his feet to the living room and sprawls on the couch. She sits beside him, as he expels a breath and slouches backwards. He pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingers and shuts his eyes closed.
"How many times will I have to get dressed by my ex-secretary in the next few days? This is humiliating." He laments.
She knows better than to say anything when he is such in a bad mood. She gets up and fetches a glass of water and his pain meds. He takes them without even looking. She takes the glass from his hand and puts it on the table. She grabs his hand and pulls gently.
He follows her to his bedroom where she goes to his bed, folding down the blanket and top sheet. He sits on the bed. She can see him gritting his teeth, eyes closed. There is no way he's going to sleep in so much pain. She goes to the other side of the bed and she lies down, patting the spot behind him.
"Harvey," she calls softly, "please, just lie down."
He looks at her, his mind trying to process what is happening.
"Wait…you are sleeping here? Donna, I can sleep on the couch. You left me, we're not going to sleep in the same bed."
"Harvey, stop being ridiculous, you can't sleep on the couch. I will. Later. After I get my stuff. I'll text Mike and Rachel so they can come keep an eye on you while I'm at my apartment, but you won't even notice because you will be asleep."
He lies down. "You are so bossy."
She slowly turns towards him, her knee touching his leg. His eyes are opened and he blinks. He can't believe she is so close, when just yesterday she was farther than she's ever been. He hasn't slept in so many days, even before the accident. Because of her. Now she is so close he can smell her and feel her breathe on his face. He feels like he found a part of him that was missing. She is soothing… He closes his eyes, but opens them again and she is still there. He smiles like an idiot. The pain meds are probably kicking in because he's in less pain, he just feels happy. His hand brushes her arm. He slurs.
"You are the last thing I remember, Donna…"
She's intrigued. She can see his eyes are glassy, the pain meds have kicked in.
"What are you saying Harvey?"
He whispers, she can barely hear him.
"I was in so much pain. Before the accident Donna. It started before. I couldn't sleep. I felt sick all the time…" He swallows. "And I kept thinking about you. I can't understand why it happened. Why you left and why I fell…"
She feels tears in her eyes. She always thought she knew everything but she didn't know he was hurting that much. "I'm so sorry Harvey, I had to leave…you should sleep. I'm there now."
She can see his breathing pattern becomes deep and slow, and soon enough he's snoring under the influence of the meds. She peels herself from the bed and calls Mike and Rachel.