Beca was sitting at her desk; writing the journal entry for the night before. It was actually a letter to Chloe Beale. She had began writing a lot more ever sense they settled in a house not far from Barden University in Georgia. Some were journal entries about her day, something that pissed her off or how she felt.

She didn't know if Chloe died along with a lot of the others. The woman never had the heart to go and find that out. She would rather sit and just write to her; not ever knowing if she was dead or alive. It felt safer for her own mind that way.

Beca had written when they first got to the outpost and her first letter was to Chloe. But this one she was writing? It was different. It wasn't just pretending everything was fine. This one was realizing that she might lose Chloe.

"Chloe,

Saw a dog today and thought of you, again. It was a zombie dog so..you know what had to happen. This time Jesse took care of it instead of pushing it on me. There has to be one dog out there that isn't a walking creature, right? Then again, you have to be out there too somehow if I'm saying that.

I was thinking before we got here where you were. Well, I think that each day. You have to be alive out there right? The world has to be kind to me in one way. Well, guess they were when they let me survive. I would rather have you survive though.

I thought last night while I couldn't sleep if you were alive. Quickly though, I shrugged that off. You have to be alive. I would be sad if you weren't...

Maybe I wouldn't just be sad. The more I think about it, I think I would be lost if I knew you were never coming back. Let alone seeing you as a zombie would fucking kill me. I wouldn't be able to kill you if I saw you as one of those creatures. I would let you kill me because really, I can't live without you.

I have to stay alive for my sister right now. That's why I'm not out searching for you and that's why I'm not letting new recruits come in to our outpost. Because for one, they might know you and if you're dead or not. And two? We don't have much room left.

We have a guest bedroom that can fit for two, and then my room. My room is the biggest in this place, so of course that person would want to bunk with me. But, I'm saving the extra closet and the space beside me on the bed for you.

You have to come home, Chloe. I promise I will tell you everything that I haven't for so long. If I find out I will never get to hear your voice, feel your arms wrap around me, feel you play with my hair when you think I'm asleep...I think I might just go insane.

Please, just give me a sign somewhere that tells me you're alive. I miss you so fucking much, Beale. You have no idea.

Beca.."

She put the pen down and shut the leather journal; placing it aside. Her eyes wandered over to the photo that sat on her desk. It was all the Bella's after winning National's for the first time together.

The one beside it was of Chloe. She was driving and laughing like crazy. Beca had taken that photo when they were on their way to the beach. They had both stayed back at Barden for spring break. It was actually the first time Chloe didn't go somewhere and party. Instead, she wanted to stay back and just be with Beca.

She knew Beca was never the party type. And if she was, it would take a lot of alcohol to even get her to have a good time. But, as Beca got older she stopped drinking. Especially when she got her internship.

Just then the radio tuned itself in; signalling someone was about to speak. Her eyes remained on the photo of Chloe. Each time she heard someone about to speak, she hoped it was Chloe.

"Hey. My friend and I need a new place to stay. Our place is completely destroyed and we can't live by ourselves...please help" The radio spoke.

That was a new thing as well. Walkie talkies and radios were a way of contacting other survivors. It was the only sort of connection to others they had.

Beca and her sister had an outpost shelter of a few people. It was Beca, Eliza (her younger sister), Amy, Jesse, and Eliza's on and off again boyfriend. Eliza and Beca had argued many times over and over about recruiting new members.

They had built their shelter over the course of a year out of giant storage containers. On the outside, it looked like shit. It had barbed wires and walls with some watch towers. The storage containers looked rusty and disgusting. But on the inside? It was beautiful. It was like a mansion on the inside. Everyone had their own space, they had a kitchen, bathroom, running water and solar power.

So that all being said, they definitely had room for at least two others. But, Beca was stubborn. She didn't like new people especially these days. Beca was very bitter ever since the plague happened and zombies started to appear. Especially when she lost contact with Chloe. Their last words to each other were in a cold fight.

Flashback

"Beca, what are you even saying?" Chloe asked through the phone.

"I'm staying in LA. With or without you" Beca stated.

"Are you serious with me right now?" Chloe asked. "You're choosing a city over me-"

"No I am not" Beca cut her off.

"You are!" Chloe exclaimed.

"I'm choosing something I've worked so fucking hard for!" Beca yelled.

People looked at her weird in the street as she yelled into the phone. But, Beca didn't notice nor let alone care. Her best friend was getting pissed off at her for not moving back to Georgia. Beca said she would after a year in Los Angeles. But, plans had changed.

"Over me!" Chloe said.

"Can you really only think about yourself in this?" Beca asked. "Have you become that selfish?"

"Oh really? The one living in Los Angeles is asking me that!" Chloe laughed.

"Oh my god" Beca groaned.

"You said you would come back home" Chloe said.

"Yeah before I moved out here and realized it's better then Georgia" Beca pointed out.

"Oh" Chloe sounded lifeless from that response.

"It's nothing about you-"

"Obviously. I mean, you're not even coming home.." Chloe mumbled.

"Why would it matter?" Beca asked.

"Because-"

"Cause we don't live together anymore either way. You're with soldier boy" Beca said in a cold tone.

"You're still my best friend and I hate that you're across the country from me" Chloe said. "Chicago has nothing to do with this"

"But he does" Beca said.

"How? How does my boyfriend affect us?" Chloe asked.

"In more ways then you'll ever know"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I gotta go"

"Course you do"

"You know just because I'm across the country doesn't mean I won't text you-"

"I don't want just a stupid text!" Chloe yelled.

"Then what the fuck do you want?!" Beca yelled back.

"You! I want you!" Chloe yelled. "I want you to come back home already"

"There is nothing for me there anymore, Chlo"

"Really? Nothing? Not even one thing?"

"No. I created a life for myself here and I have what I need here" Beca said.

Beca knew the words that just rolled off of her tongue were one big lie. She didn't have everything she needed there. She needed Chloe. But, she never saw that happening anymore. Especially ever since Chicago came into the picture.

The door to Beca's room opened and her head lifted to see her sister. Eliza had that look in her eye that was already telling Beca she was getting those two survivors no matter what Beca said. She just figured to ask Beca to at least be able to say she warned her.

"No" Beca shook her head.

"Beca-"

"We are fine. We don't need anyone new" She cut her off.

"What if it's Chlo-"

"Don't. You can not go there with me" Beca said causing an eye roll from Eliza.

"I'll see you later" Eliza spoke before shutting the door behind her.

Beca just shook her head at the younger girl. The woman turned the radio off and stood up to walk out on the balcony her and Jesse had made for her bedroom. She looked out from the sight she was on. They had built their outpost on a mountain because it made it harder for the zombies to get to them. Plus, they were pretty hidden away from others.

Her hands pushed into the pockets of her black jeans. The leaves were turning red and orange while some turned yellow or remained green. Autumn was upon them and Beca knew they had to begin to prep for the colder weather. In moments like this, she wish she had Chloe.

Chloe was amazing when it came to gardening. She knew how to garden so well thanks to her grandmother who taught her. Beca always loved when Chloe told her stories about why she was so good at something. She saw an insight to who Chloe was.

Beca heard the truck engine start up. She knew it was Eliza leaving to pick the survivors up. Usually Beca would be rushing out after her to force her to not go. But, for some reason something was pulling her back.

She wasn't happy about new people. But, she couldn't find the urge to go out and stop Eliza from leaving. She remained put on her balcony as she listened to the truck leaving the driveway and disappear down the mountain. Her eyes remaining on the abandoned city way down below them that now was covered in zombies.