p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"It was the day before Christmas and Buttcheek didn't know what to get for his husband, Nibblet. He had already gotten him every sex toy online and he had already killed his cat while fucking it too hard. There was not much else he could do. "Hey Buttcheek," called Nibblet as he came upstairs. "I was thinking we could do something special for Christmas." Before Buttcheek could respond, Nibblet kicked the door down and cartwheeled into the room. The door hit the wall with a loud slam. "WHAT THE HELL NIBBLET!" Buttcheek shrieked. "YOU LITERALLY SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!" Sure enough, a bunch of shit had gathered in the man's panties. "Well shit, it's not my fault you're scared of every fucking thing," shrugged Nibblet as he sat down next to his husband. "So, I was thinking, instead of exchanging presents as we've done for the past 500 years, we could literally fuck each other's brains out." Buttcheek smiled and kissed his husband. "I like that idea," he said. emBecause you got out of getting your lover a present./em Buttcheek rolled his eyes. emShut up brain! This is why I want to lose you! /emNibblet quickly rolled off the bed and did a sonic dash out the room. "You stank bruh. Take a fuckin bath!" he called. Buttcheek sighed and called his black friend. "Hey, I made a poopy. Can you change my diaper?" asked Buttcheek in his sweetest voice. There was an awkward silence before his black friend responded. "Nigga change ya own fuckin diaper. I'm tryna fuck some bitches right now and maybe smoke a little weed. I ain't tryna babysit a grown ass man. Change a diaper my ass! Have yo nigga do it!" And with that, he hung up. Buttcheek sat on the bed for a few minutes thinking about what just happened. "Well damn," he said after a few minutes. He reached under the bed and pulled out a jar of ants. "I've been saving these for a special occasion," he said licking his lips. He got naked and threw his clothes into the toilet and tried to flush. The toilet clogged, and the water rose higher and higher until North America was underwater. THE END!/p