The Lion, The Drunk and The Wardrobe!

by RamblesAndShambles9

"A mutual drunk friend called both Person A B to come pick them up from a party. Awkwardness ensues." One shot I wrote for ninelives fan fic challenge.

"A mutual drunk friend called both Person A B to come pick them up from a party. Awkwardness ensues." One shot I wrote for ninelives fan fic challenge.

Work Text:

Bella_Monoxide, Honkey Tonk and Fracker, Thanks so much for your imput on this fic.

Daryl didn't want to go to the party; that's why he said no. Glenn had been trying to set him up with his old friend, a divorcee, for a couple of months now, but Daryl had no time for women who already had one failed marriage under their belts; he didn't want to deal with the drama that came with that. Glenn told him they were perfect for each other, but Daryl didn't want a blind date where he had to go on a pity date with a woman so she could feel good about herself. He didn't owe Glenn any favors, so he just kept saying no and avoided any events he thought he was going to have her pushed on him. He didn't have time to deal with any women. If he wanted to get laid he could find his own one night stand. He didn't need a set up and certainly not one from Glenn Rhee who hadn't had a girlfriend in years.

He found himself pulling on his jeans up over his naked butt because he was doing loads of washing on a Saturday night. He was gonna get his shit together; he was trying to cut down on Saturday night binges and had actually spent the last couple of hours cleaning up the house he and Merle shared. The only set of clean clothes he did have was his uniform. He didn't like to admit to anyone he actually had to go commando for todays shift; that's when he realized he needed to get his mess under control before it spilled out onto the street or Merle lost his cool and threw all his stuff onto the lawn. He had washing pouring out the laundry door. He chucked a pair of jean's and tee shirt straight into the dryer, otherwise that would be it, and he would have officially run out of clothes to wear after he took a shower.

He had the next three days off work that he intended to spend actually sorting out his washing. He had bought a new five pack of underwear last Monday and gone through that and now things were looking really grim. He didn't have any options left but to wash his clothes. Merle promised him he would put his sheets through the dryer once they finished in the wash that morning; he didn't know when the last time was he changed them. He was just getting into the shower the first time when he took the call from a drunken Glenn telling him he had met a goddess of all goddesses and she was talking to him. Daryl tried to fob him off when Glenn told him to come to the party and meet her. Glenn kept telling him he was going to marry this women and be happy the rest of his life. Daryl told him he was a lucky man and he should annoy her not finally had a chance to hang up the phone as Glenn ran off to find her again.

He was walking around his house drip drying from his shower because there were no clean towels anywhere when he took the second phone call from Glenn telling him he might of had a little kissy kissy with the dark-headed vixen. Daryl groaned into the phone as Glenn described her lips in detail. Daryl told him he should try to go kiss her again before someone run off with her. Glenn hung up the phone really quickly. The 6th call Daryl received was a drunken Glenn telling him that he and the girl were locked in the wardrobe at the party and the others were too drunk to hear their knocks, Daryl hated himself for asking what the hell they were doing in the wardrobe in the first place. He groaned knowing he was going to have to go.

He made his bed and thought he would let Glenn sweat a little longer since his jean's were not quite dry. After another frantic call from Glenn saying he thought they were running out of oxygen, Daryl pulled his pants over his naked butt having not done a load of underwear yet and went out to his truck to go pick his friend up. He was using that word loosely since he imagined Glenn rang a few people before ringing him or maybe everyone else was at the party. He pulled up outside and there were people spilling out into the street as he looked at the house, Glenn had told him he was in an upstairs bedroom; that was as far as he knew. He knew this house like the back of his hand; it was slightly out in the country owned by a fellow cop friend. Parties often got out of control with drunks being stupid. Overall nothing really bad ever happened apart from the odd walk of shame the next morning. As always the morning after the night before was a hit or a miss depending on what you hit.

Carol parked behind a truck that had just pulled up. She had thrown on clothes and shoes, having been in the bath when she started receiving the phone calls from Glenn. In the end she knew she had no choice but to go and pick him up. She climbed out of the bath drying herself off pulling on her tight fitting jeans that she knew molded to her ass, and a slinky black top. Just because she was going to a party at midnight to pick up her drunk room mate didn't mean she had to go in her pj's.

Only Glenn Rhee would make such a call. She couldn't even begin to count the amounts of times she had to come get him from parties. He really was a lightweight when it come to drinking. He was an old college friend who lived in the room beside her at the dorm. She knew it all could be a false alarm but he'd been ringing her all night and now he finally had his way of getting her to the party, he did manage to tell her to wear something pretty. He'd been great letting her stay with him rent free while she sorted herself out after her divorce. She was just thankful she never had a child with her ex. She had walked away with her id and her cell phone with Glenn's phone number two months ago. Now Glenn was relying on her to come save him.

She followed a man in jeans that fitted him like a glove and she tried not to drool or stare as she followed him up the path. She couldn't help but bit her lip as he took the steps, opening the front door without knocking. He held it open for her then his eyes drifted over her as he gave her a slight nod as he let her go ahead of him. She could feel his eyes checking her out as she walked ahead of him, and he was greeted as he walked though by some of the party goers. Daryl watched as the woman headed straight for the stairs. He couldn't help but follow her up them, checking out her butt in her nice fitting jeans as she walked ahead of him.

She looked over her shoulder at him. 'I'm just looking for a friend, he rung me,' she told him.

'Not Glenn?' Daryl asked her, sighing and realizing that suddenly there were two people looking for him. He looked around wondering how many more people would arrive. As far as he knew he was the only one sober and not working who could show up.

'I'm Carol,' she held her hand out to him as they reached the landing. He knew who she was. Glenn had asked advice for her when she first come to town a few months ago, but Daryl hadn't quite got around to meeting her yet. He'd been busy at work and he really didn't like meeting new people, preferring the people he knew already. He knew that Glenn tried to fix him up from time to time and he hoped that this wasn't the one time that he tricked him into it. He was kicking himself now as he looked into her blue eyes that he didn't take a moment to meet her. She was sexy as fuck and her eyes seemed to bore right through him.

'Daryl Dixon,' He shook her hand. Her hand was small and soft in his, and he held onto it a moment longer than he should have. He let it go and gave her one of his rare little smirks.

'Hm Officer Dixon that I've heard so much about,' Carol said quietly, her blue eyes drifted up to his, 'Well lets go rescue this drunk guy who's somewhere up here with one lucky lady who is probably sick of him by now,' She gave a low laugh, she thought it was funny that Glenn was locked up somewhere upstairs.

They needed to find him before someone else did and it was spread all over town. Glenn would never live it down. Daryl was happy to save him, for he knew the favor would come in handy at some stage when he did something stupid.

'Yeah nice to meet you,' Daryl ducked his head and took the room on the right walking to the closet and banged on the door to see if anyone was inside, Carol stuck her head into the room across the hall.

She could hear the banging coming from inside. She knocked back and she hear Glenn. 'Daryl they are in here,' Carol went back to the bedroom door poked her head out to call him back and tell him she found their friend. She then went back to the wardrobe door, tried to open it and gave a little squawk as the handle come off in her hand. 'Oh Fuck! Fuck!'

Daryl tried to hide a snort from the bedroom doorway as he walked in, she looked so uptight, prim and proper and she swore like a trucker standing there with the door handle in her hands, they could hear Glenn talking inside the wardrobe, 'Hi Carol... I can see you, see that's Daryl... you two should be friends.' There was the sound of female and male giggling inside the wardrobe, they stared at it suddenly realizing there was more than Glenn in there.

Daryl tried to look through the tiny hole to see what was going on inside, but it was too dark to see anything, and all he could hear when he put his ear up to the door was giggles. 'Who else is in there?' Daryl asked.

'Umm I don't want to say... but you work with him... and he's called Officer Grimes,' Glenn's giggles come out, 'He's kissing a girl... owwww don't hit me Officer Grimes.'

'Fuck sakes,' Daryl looked at Carol. He looked up all around the door trying to figure out a way to take the pin's off the hinges. once they had those off he was sure they could get them out. 'We gonna have to take this door off."'

'Wait, isn't there anyway else we can get them out? The police or firemen or something?' Daryl just stared at her, blinking. He waited for the penny to drop and for her to say something. Rick was the police and Glenn was a firefighter and both would be the laughing stock of their entire town if they were found out they were locked in a wardrobe with women. They would never ever live it down, not with the way the guys were around here with things like that.

'Oh... right? What are we going to need?'

I think I can get this off if I can get a screwdriver or something?

' 'Bread and butter knife?' she suggested.

'It won't work, it has to be a proper one,' Daryl replied.

'Try it, you never know... hang on,' Carol dug in her pocket and come out with a coin. She tried to hand it to him, he turned it over in his hand thinking that she was crazy. 'Try it, you don't know everything, I once put together a bookcase using a high heel and a coin,'

There were high pitched giggles coming from inside the wardrobe. 'Dixon's being school'd by a woman and a coin,' come a sing song voice.

'I can't reach I need to see,' he walked over to the bed, gesturing for her to come closer to him. She stared as he bent over indicating that she should climb on his shoulders so she could do the top pin in the door. She shook her head thinking there was no way she could climb on him when he was so good looking. He made her think really dirty thoughts about what else she could be doing instead of climbing onto his shoulders.

Hurry up, Rick just farted,' Glenn giggled. There was the sound of Rick being punched inside the wardrobe, and whispering come out. 'Um I mean, someone farted, Rick's not in here, he went home,' Glenn told them, Daryl just rolled his eyes. He indicated for Carol to get on his shoulders, he stood up again when she didn't come and he shrugged his leather jacket off. Carol tried to pick her mouth up off the floor when she saw the shoulders encased in a fitted tee shirt.

'Come on get on, lets do this,'

'I can't climb on you,' all Carol could think was she was going to wrap herself around his head and sit there. She was glad she put perfume on, her libido went up a notch with his idea of her climbing on him. He was standing there looking at her, he chewed on his thumb, walked across picked her up around the waist and carried her back then stood her on the bed.

'Climb on me now,' he told her, and her face flamed as he glanced at her, 'Come on, this is going to be as embarrassing as fuck if we don't get them out,'

'Come on Carol climb the sexy cop like a tree,' come a voice from inside the wardrobe. 'Climb Carol Climb, if you don't I will,'

'Michonne, are you in there?' Carol hissed, another long time friend was locked in the wardrobe. 'What the hell are you doing?'

'Its not me... its not... its someone else,' another high pitched giggle come out, one that wasn't Michonne, Daryl cocked his head listening to the giggles coming from inside the wardrobe. He groaned again as he recognized the noise.

'Come on I think they have one of the Captain's daughters in there, Maggie Greene, and the D.A, please tell me you all were not playing 7 minutes in heaven,' Daryl groaned, he gave his shoulders a little roll to prepare for her to climb aboard. Carol licked her lips watching. She was blushing as he backed up to her. They could hear whispers of 'let me see,' coming from the other side of the door as their friends took turns watching out the tiny hole as Carol climbed onto Daryl's shoulders.

'Ride 'em cowboy!' come Michonne's voice again, 'Rick said this was the way to Narnia,' there was more giggling inside, 'I wanted to see the Lion and Rick just showed me his... owwwwww!'

Carol tried to climb off once she climbed on his shoulders, but Daryl was already walking towards the door, and he stopped in front of it, a finger wriggled out trying to touch them. 'Ow fuck I think my finger is stuck,' come Glenn's voice through the door.

'Spit on it,' come Rick's voice it seemed a bit muffled, 'you're cutting off out air supply you gotta get it out or we need to chop it off,'

'No, leave it alone... stop pulling on it,' Michonne was growling, there seemed to be shuffling inside the wardrobe, Daryl handed up the coin for her to try fit in the groove, she started twisting. She tried not to think about the man between her thighs, she smelt nice and his shoulders were to die for, and she couldn't help wonder what he looked like under his tee shirt. She twisted the coin until she could push the pin up. She had it in her hand and told him they got the pin out.

'Carol and Daryl sitting in a tree...' come a sing song voice from inside the closet, 'K.I.S.S.I.N.G,'

'Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss,' came the chant from inside along with whispers of what was happening out there.

Daryl backed back to the bed and sat down with Carol on his shoulders. She fell backwards and ended up with his head still between her thighs hitting her pelvic bone. They were both laying on their backs, and Carol somehow managed to pin his arms down with her legs and her feet were tucked under him. She tried to roll off and he grabbed her calf. 'You gotta crawl over me, if you roll we both have to roll and its gonna fuck my back,' he whispered trying not to alert the others that there was about to be crawling over each other.

Carol sat up leaning on her arms and did a half crab like crawl with her stomach facing the roof and tried not to think about her ass was going to be right in his face at any moment. She was embarrassed as her butt moved past his face, freeing his armsso that he could help steady her by holding onto her hips. Her butt slid down his chest so she ended up facing forward sitting on his lap. He gave a little moan as she slid down his body. His body was betraying him. She was sexy as hell and his going commando wasn't helping contain things either. His dick was getting hard and there wasn't anything he could do about it. He could smell her; her scent was engulfing him to a point where he had to remember that she didn't ask to be sitting in his lap.

Carol threw a glance over her shoulder; his face was right next to hers, and he was biting his lip. She felt his hands tighten on her hips and she could feel something against her ass. 'I'm really sorry I pinned you like that,' she whispered, 'and had to climb over you,' she wasn't sorry she ended up sitting on his lap or his hands were on her hips, she could tell he wasn't sorry either.

He went to say something and the door swung open, Caesar Martinez walked in, 'Dixon, thought you were sitting at home ... all alone there no one left beside meeeeeeeeeeeeee!' he sung the last line, 'I'm so all alone,' he kept singing. He walked right in and shook Carol's hand, did a little dance in front of her with a spin as he sung the song from 'Shrek,'

'Get the fuck outa here,' Daryl growled at Martinez, he wrapped his arm's around Carol, Martinez looked at them both thinking something was going on. The woman sitting in Daryl's lap with his arms around her was giving off a signal that something was happening. Daryl knew Martinez would hit on Carol if he knew she was single and he wanted to give of the vibe that they were together. 'Ok... ok... didn't know you had yourself a fine bit of crumpet on your lap Dixon, was beginning to think your dick dropped off or somethin,' he laughed at his own joke, 'Heard you were just about a born again virgin,' he shut the door and they heard him singing down the hall, Daryl started to move his arms; he wanted to throttle Martinez. He couldn't believe that it was all going on.

They could hear the music pumping up the stairs. The door opened again and Merle Dixon stood there. 'Thought that son of a bitch was lying about you being in her with a woman!' Merle stood there they could hear his girlfriend behind him telling him to leave Daryl alone. Merle reached into his pocket tossing some condoms in their direction, Carol's reflexes kicked in at them flying towards her put her hand up and caught two of them. She looked at them as the door shut, and she looked at Daryl.

'Oh, god,' she whispered, 'is there a lock on the door?'

'Maybe you should get up and lock it,' he told her. He was staring at her, at her mouth. She was just sitting there still; they both just stared at each other and then they heard a knock.

'Remember us? I really need to go to the toilet,' said a female voice. Carol moved to lock the door, and she noticed Daryl adjusting his pants as he made short work on removing the door. Four bodies come tumbling out on top of each other. A very drunk Glenn and Michonne, a brunette she didn't know and a man who was hanging off Daryl telling him he saved his life. Glenn was trying to thank them all for letting him breath because he was worried he was going to die in the Harry Potter cupboard. He was thanking them over and over again.

'I love you two, thanks for coming to save me,' Glenn put his arm around Carol and around Daryl, 'did you both meet did ya?'

'Yeah we did, come on let's get out of here before something else happens.' Daryl told them. They all headed out down the stairs. Carol was standing looking at the doors.

'Should we fix them?'

'Nah its Abe's place make the fucker wonder what we were doing in here that we had to take the door off,' Daryl gave her a little smirk, 'Come on we gotta get these drunk pricks home,' Carol managed to separate Glenn from Maggie, then shoved him into the back of his own car that she had used to drive over, while Daryl was struggling to get both Rick and Maggie into his truck at the same time so he could drive them to their respective homes.

She saw Daryl hovering around at the back of his truck when she had shut the back door of Glenn's car. Daryl looked awkward as hell, and she could tell from his behavior that he wanted to say something. He stood there, shuffling his feet, as she walked over to him. 'Got the next few days off, you wanna go grab a coffee with me?" he asked her. He could not believe that the woman Glenn had been trying to set him up with all this time was such a fox. She was sexy as fuck, and with the way his body reacted to her he knew that he had to see her again.

'Hm maybe, I'm staying with Glenn, so I guess you have the number. Thanks for your help,' she moved forward to kiss his cheek, and he turned his face so she got his mouth. He slipped his arm around her back holding her there. He managed to deepen the kiss. When they finally broke apart, she said "Well, officer Dixon's got game," then she turned around and went back to Glenn's car, calling over her shoulder "Call me," and winked at him.

Daryl stood there with a goofy expression on his face watching her drive off in Glenn's car he touched his lips with his fingers and went to get back into his truck wondering if it was too soon to call.

'About time Romeo,' Rick slapped him on his shoulders, 'Officer Dixon's back in the game,' Rick cupped his mouth like he was making a huge announcement at a big game, they heard a cheer from a drunken Maggie in the back seat. Daryl gave his friend a half hearten punch in the arm.