A/N: this is a parody and a tribute to the popular youtube series: Game Theory. This is not an actual Game Theory, is not by MatPat, Gaijin Goomba, Ronnie, or any other theorist promoted by the show. Please enjoy.

"Stupefy! Stupefy! Stupefy!" I had yelled about back when I was a child reading the Harry Potter books, waving around a tiny wand I had made myself. Casting spells was the best thing that I could ever think of doing, and magic mystified me. But with science making advances, could what happens in the Harry Potter universe really be done in real life? Or is it still magic to us.

This is Book Theory! The only fanfiction story that is not a story, but a discussion that shamelessly rips off Game Theory.

Could Magical spells from the Harry Potter books and movies really be done in real life? Or is it a ton of Hocus Pocus. Well let's just first discuss a few things about magic itself.

When talking about magic the dictionary definition is: "The power of apparently influencing the course of events by using mysterious or supernatural forces." This is exactly on par with how J.K. Rowling shows her magic in the book, offering no scientific explanation for any of the magics that Harry, Ron, or Hermione do in classes. And the definition from the Harry Potter wiki states: "[Magic is] A hereditary trait that is passed down from ancestors allowing a human to alter the fabric of reality at fundamental levels."

Once again, it matches up to the dictionary definition.

Another thing to keep in mind is that when asked about her magic, Rowling states that: "I don't believe in witchcraft." "The magic in the books is 95% made up by herself." and "I use folklore to help."

So just keep that in the back of your mind, right next to that pairing from Fairy Tail or Percy Jackson that you've been so eager to post on a forum.

But what's some of the most used spells or referenced spells in the books.

1: stunning a person.

Primarily with stupefy, the stunning spell and from Harry's fifth movie quote "A wizard's bread and butter." implying it is used the most in a fight.

2: Flight on a broomstick.

While this is not done with a wand, I know that every person reading this has secretly wanted to have a firebolt or a Nimbus 2000. Or dreamed about doing a Wronski Feint themselves. Don't deny it, I have too.

3: Illumination from a wand.

lumos is one of the most used spells, ever. It turns your wand into a freaking flashlight.

And 4: Manipulating Fire.

We all loved the duel between Dumbledore and Voldemort in the fifth book, where fire was a key aspect in their fight.

1: Stunning a person.

The stunning spell is often described as a jet of red or white light, and when it hits a person they are incapacitated until it wears off or another wizard/witch uses Rennervate on you.

In real life we do have the taser, which produces and launches 50,000 volts into a person's central nervous system to cause uncontrollable contraction of the muscles. This leaves any assailant struggling to move, which matches the book description. But that is relying on an external source of energy: a battery, and not the human's energy, which is the requirement for magic in the Harry Potter universe.

We don't see Ron's wand break and a 9 volt falls out of it. Or Harry about to cast Expelliarmus in the last book and dies because he ran out of juice before fighting Voldemort.

However Humans produce energy. But...

A human can only produce 10-100 MILLIVOLTS, around 5 MILLION times smaller than the requirement to completely stop an opponent in their tracks with an electric shock. So yeah, a human can't produce that on their own, but when working out you produce more energy which can be used as heat. But we can only consume as much as we let off due to the conservation of Matter, so unless you want to be constantly chugging down Diet Cokes, that's a no go.

But Science is always improving, and workout machines have been modified to store energy made by people when working out in order to power the gym they're located in. And that energy could easily power a small taser. There's even estimates that if you could magnify how a person produces energy while working out with some sort of clothing that can do that, a human could power a computer.

So maybe, just maybe, you could work out for around a week to get a single blast from a taser in order to take out that perv who saw you working out and like how you look. But when you're taking a jog to power your apple watch, remember this theory first.

2: Flight on a broomstick.

Most of you, myself included, wanted to strap a rocket onto a broom and go play quidditch. And fundamentally this would work to achieve lift off, and burn off all your leg hair, but Harry, Ginny, all of the competitive teams, and even the Hogwarts teams all require a massive amount of control over their brooms. Doing complicated plays such as:

The Wronski feint.

Porskoff Ploy.

And a Barrel... er... Aileron roll. Okay, Game Theory proved that last one isn't exactly complicated, or helpful in a dogfight, but Harry still uses it to dodge a bludger in the fifth book.

None of your suddenly gained powers of broomstick flight will help you with a rocket powered broom. It has no way to control itself. You'll careen straight into one of the stands and shave the grease off of Snape's nose, drenching the next row of wizards.

A plane requires its wings and tail to maintain lift in the air, but a broom only has its bristles on the end. And a broom is much to small to stick the required elements on, and how would you control the individual elements anyway anyway? We don't have magic to control them in real life. That's why I'm writing this. To satisfy all of your magical boners.

And anyway, sticking wings and a tail on a broomstick would add more draft to the broom, making faster speeds much harder.

Levitation is also an idea, and possibility. Magnets have been used to make things levitate for many years now, but using magnets is not the ideal way to levitate something, especially a broomstick that is traveling at high speeds. The magnet's levitation is unstable and shaky, even at the best of times. With all of the movement, shifting weight, and complicated maneuvering you'll be doing in a quidditch match, it'll be impossible to stay upright. And you can't even control your distance from the ground, removing the 3d element of broomsticks that can fly.

Spinning the free floating magnet does work to make it stable. But the free floating magnet is your broom, and spinning constantly will make you into a flying helicopter blade. And that won't be the safest way for riding a broomstick.

So broomstick flight? not possible at this day and age. Sorry seekers, chasers, and beaters, you can't fly just yet.

3: wand illumination.

let's recap from the first topic: stunning. A human being can power small things already, using heat or their own electricity. So why not a flashlight? We have those crank lights, so why not one using your own natural energy.

This has already been invented. Flashlights that use human heat exist already, no crank needed, and it never runs out of power so long as your body remains hotter than your surroundings. (So don't stick your hands in liquid nitrogen... that's a bad idea enough without you needing light later in the day.)

At St. Michael's University School, a girl named Ann Makosinski invented a hollow flashlight that runs on human heat. It was done by utilizing thermoelectric panels on one side of the flashlight's body, and hollowing out the middle to create a heat contrast. With the heat your body makes, it contrasts with the heat around you to make energy which then powers the flashlight. The colder the area you are in, the brighter the light.

Boy wouldn't that have been useful when playing Amnesia or Slender.

So self powered light sources... check one for magic.

4: Remotely controlling fire.

Any witch or wizard who cast the Flagrate charm has the ability to draw fire in the air. The control of fire, out of all the spells, seems to be one of the coolest powers in the books. Seeing duels that use the manipulation of fire made me want to cast that spell on my little brother's door after he was teasing me for liking Harry Potter. But if this was a real life occurrence, that would be phenomenal. We won't count flamethrowers or any other thing that uses fuel for this, so that eliminates a bunch of options. And one of the only left, is pyrokinesis.

Have you ever heard of it?

It's the control of fire using your mind, exactly the same as the magic we see in Harry Potter. And hundreds of people say that they have control over fire, so it isn't exclusive either.

But they really can't.

While there's been many who say they can pull this magic trick off, none have actually been able to pull it off in front of the scientific community. Some believe that PSI powers are real, but a natural aspect of science says that the data must be recorded and repeatable. And nobody has ever done that. If someone out there believes that they can control flame, prove it in front of the scientific community. (Cause I really want to have Fiendfyre, that thing's awesome)

The other theory surrounding the manipulation of flame is that a subatomic element (called a pyrotron) is the cause of pyrokinesis and even spontaneous combustion. The theory is that this tiny element buzzes through one's atoms and if it hits a quark (the most basic part of an element) then the big bang basically happens inside of you, causing spontaneous/internal combustion of sorts. This seems to be supported by science, we can't actually see that small can we? So who's to say or not say that there's a "pyrotron" inside of us. But that's also this theory's own counterargument.

Like I said before, It must be recorded and repeatable. And we can't see that small, meaning we can't record it. Without the ability to record a pyrotron we lose all of our grounds in this theory. Even the quark is questionable as we can't see it and instead have faith that it's there, as we base a lot of other theories and laws on the existence of these particles of matter. So with two questionable subatomic elements? That's pretty much a stretch. Now add in that they have to collide and that creates a mini big bang inside of your body? Allowing you to control fire?

That's definitely not a thing.

SO! what have we covered?

1: stunning someone with your internal energy may be possible. check one for the stupefy spell.

2: Quidditch will have to wait. I'm sorry.

3: Go ahead, lumos is a real thing.

4: Until somebody proves it, the control of fire is only a myth.

But hey, that's just a theory, A BOOK THEORY! Thanks for reading.

A/N: I plan on doing more theories but I want you guys to tell me how I did. was there something I didn't cover that you wanted to see covered? or did I miss a fact that is crucial? Also, if there's any Harry Potter theories that you want to see done, please comment about them. I would love to cover those theories of yours. And as always: Have A Great Day.