There are some things Duncan needs for you to know about his relationship with Courtney.
You might THINK you know it all, but Duncan says no. He wants you to understand the following:
1: Duncan likes Courtney because she's hot. Not because she is funny and cute when she's angry and sometime's has her sweet moments. NO. It is only because she's hot.
2: Duncan didn't like Courtney first. She was blinded by his hotness and he noticed her later. He was not following her around like some love-struck puppy.
3: Duncan doesn't do puppies. Just saying. Duncan does dogs, big dogs, big, mean, terrorizing dogs. (But not puppies)
4: …But he might do puppies. Maybe. If Courtney told him to. Possibly. If he was feeling sappy like that. But probably not, because he's too much of a man.
5: Duncan teases Courtney to piss her off, not to express his feelings… I mean, what do you take him for? Harold?
6: Duncan just wants to get into Courtney's pants. There you go. Nope, he never imagines them growing old together or getting married or stupid shit like that… nope, he NEVER does that.
7: Duncan and Courtney just have sex. They aren't 'making love', because… no! Duncan is a man, he has carnal desires, and he just so happens to take them out on Courtney and only Courtney. That doesn't mean anything.
8: Duncan does not like getting into fights with Courtney. No, he absolutely HATES it, and he's never had fantasies about her spanking him. I mean, why the hell would Duncan do that?
9: Duncan doesn't like to cuddle. That's complete bullshit you guys made up in your fanfictions, because Duncan –does not- do cuddling.
10: It's not cuddling if he holds Courtney like a teddy bear, like a really arousing teddy bear, because it's just NOT CUDDLING, GOT IT?
11: Duncan doesn't 'love' Courtney. He doesn't mean it when he says it to her. Ever.
12: Duncan never gets chills when she says it back. Na-uh.
13: …Duncan blushes when he's lying about how he feels…
(Yeah, you can bet on it. He's red as a tomato.)
©2011 Cereal-Killa