Authors Note: This is only a rough draft, any comments on how to improve are welcome, however if you continue to read this and wish for continual updates regularly I'm sorry, Olivia is something that I write when I'm inspired to continue to write about her and how she loves after she's lost everything. So please, be patient, and I will try.

One

We were waiting awkwardly. I had my thumbs hooked in my jeans pockets looking at the floor, counting the tiles. The noise in the reception was unbelievable. I was getting a migraine just standing here waiting. I turned slightly and saw the feet of my new relative. She wore clothes that were of designer origin but had no specific labelling, smart, but not too smart. I could tell that they were of such origins due to my past; when I cared about such trivial things. Dark trousers, a light blouse and a cardigan that hung loosely, the shoes that I was now examining were also designer, heels, and suede, the navy blue variety.
"So, you must be glad to finally be getting out of the hospital Olivia ?" the strained voice reached my ears through the thrum of other noises, and I looked straight up at the sound of my name, staring at the pale yellow wall ahead, ignoring the people who passed. In reality, I was terrified of leaving with these strangers. I yearned to go home, but on the other hand, that wasn't an option and so I knew I had to be kind to her, she was giving up a lot to take me in.
"Yes, it will be a great relief to feel the sun."
I turned to her and smiled my most practiced smile, hoping it would be enough. Her grey-green eyes were full of concern, and I felt awful for causing it. I looked away again, watching an empty wheelchair get pushed along by a tired nurse, her hair frizzed, her eyes half-closed. I felt like that. Dazed.

"Olivia?" Sam, my new Guardian put her hand on my shoulder, I had been daydreaming. I snapped my head up, clearing my head at once, I knew I shouldn't be dreaming like that; of home. Internally kicking myself for thinking of something that couldn't happen I noticed she had dropped her hand, her husband had arrived. James. Again there was the smart designer clothes, but this time it wasn't subtly shown, it was a suit, tie included. The shoes were not a let-down either, not a scuff mark on them, they looked brand new and were incredibly shiny. I figured if I bent over them I would see my reflection perfectly. I looked up to his blue eyes and his gentle smile. Immediately I felt like I could trust him. He had a trustworthy face. I tried not to let that deceive me.
"Hello." he murmured holding out his hand, I hesitantly shook it, feeling far more formal than I should have done. I felt like I was obligating myself to something, but I didn't quite know what the rules were yet. I guess I wasn't so far off base considering I was to be going to a house with them and meeting their three other children. Would I be expected to take my shoes off before I entered the house? What chores would be expected of me and what wouldn't? Would I have a bed time ?
"Well," he smiled clapping his hands together as I put mine back in my pocket, "Shall we have a coffee or shall we just head off?"
Sam looked into the hospital café, it wasn't busy, and I was dreading having to sit there trying to take part in the small-talk that, in my opinion, was wholly unnecessary. She looked towards me, I could sense her eyes on the top of my head, my hair was covering my face, I was watching the floor intently; every grove and every niche was undergoing my scrutiny. What would her decision be ?
"Shall we just grab something to go?"
I looked up to see them waiting for me, did they want me to say yes, no or just start walking ? I must have looked blank because James started making eating motions with his hands and then shrugged questioningly at me. I laughed a little politely, and shrugged my shoulders and nodded.
I followed them like a little lost puppy to the café, and then picked out a ham and salad sandwich when told, and a bottle of water when the drinks selection was available. Sam and James were only having a coffee each, but they decided I might feel hungry on the long drive back so picked up some Salt'n'Shake Crisps and a muffin bigger than my fist. It was a shame there wasn't a questionnaire about the hospital flooring really, I would have been able to give a very detailed answer.

I came into hospital 11 months ago. I arrived by helicopter, and was rushed into surgery. They spent 7 long hours trying to keep me alive. Somehow they managed it, but truth be told, they shouldn't have. I should have died that day, besides the point there is no scientific reason why I'm still alive. I have no reason to be here. I have no place in this world anymore. No happy place.
We were driving along, all together, all happy. Laughing about something, when suddenly it was over. There was no time to think, no time to react, no squealing of brakes, no crunching of metal. Just darkness. Except for those eyes. I could see eyes, the strangest colour, honey. I tried to blink, and they were gone.

We were walking out of the double set of automatic hospital doors and some sort of buzzing sound went off. However everyone just carried on walking, and I assumed it was normal. However for a scary moment I thought it was an alarm to say I couldn't leave, I was to stay in this place. I couldn't stay, as I looked back along the corridor for what hopefully would be the last time, I realised I had wanted to get out of here more than I ever thought. I needed to feel the sun on my skin.
I turned and saw the droplets of rain start to fall splattering the pavement were the smokers who had to sit outside had abandoned their cigarettes. I let myself walk out onto the pavement slowly, ignoring the feeling that Sam and James were watching me. Suddenly a few splatters of rain turned into a few drops and I knew I was about to get soaked right through if I didn't get under cover. Typical. But I missed the rain, rain was good. The feeling of moisture in the air, the way it fell upon your hair. What lay beyond the rain wasn't quite so good. Sitting, in full glory was a Rolls Royce Ghost. I could only assume it was waiting for James and Sam, and now for me as well.
I paused, as were so many others, to take in the sleek smooth exterior, the shiny black paint and the silver lining seemed to caress the windows and door handles. The eagle stood boldly upon the bonnet stretching its silver wings back. Fighting the rain and the wind that was picking up. The feet welded in position, having no choice but to be swept to wherever it was told, and once I got in that vehicle I too would be swept away.
I took the two remaining steps, tripped a little, blushed, and fell into the fresh smell of leather and the mahogany veneer. The busyness had disappeared, and I felt like I had been sucked into a black hole. A deep dark expensive black hole.

James was driving and Sam was in the front passenger side, leaving me to sit behind her, this way she couldn't glance at me so easily. Oh how I wished we could have gotten into the Jurassic-aged Volvo or even the rusted-to-a-fine-art fiesta that happened to be parked on either side of this monster that was deliberately sent out to try and lure back into thinking I could own anything and everything and be anyone I wanted. I was going to be tested with this family. That much I knew.
I tried to get comfortable as I knew we had a long journey but I was also forcing myself to feel out of place. Suddenly, Sam's arm appeared from around the seat and handed me my drink and sandwich, and also a napkin.
"Thank-you." I whispered, I had no doubt she could hear me, the Ghost was literally that, a ghost. Would I disappear if I sat quietly? I slowly unfolded the napkin and placed it across my knees, it was dark blue, Sam must have picked it up somewhere other than the hospital whose napkins I noticed were yellow along with the rest of the interior. I then dug my nails into the edge of the plastic holder of the sandwich container I opened it slowly, and tried not to spill anything like salad onto the cream leather seats. I was just grateful I hadn't chosen anything that smelled, like tuna.
I gradually picked it apart and tried to eat noiselessly, the ham and bread was ok, the salad however, not so easy. I felt like a scared rabbit caught in the headlights at the back. I looked at the water but I didn't want to risk going over a bump and spilling it everywhere. The cap stayed firmly in place. I finished the sandwiches and placed the lid back on the triangular container. Then the muffin and crisps appeared. I took them slowly.
"Well," she said cheerfully, "We don't want the boys to argue over the muffin when we get back, that could get ugly."
I laughed again quietly, placing those to on my lap, muffin crumbs being worse than bread ones. I slowly picked away at it, watching as an hour went by. We were cruising past the Mondeos, Fords, and big lorries. All the while I was desperate for a soothing drink. I watched as the rain drops slid down the window as we passed a cargo trailer. My reflection paled and distant. I sighed.

Suddenly we turned off for a Service station and I was asked whether I wanted to stretch my legs. I gladly nodded and took my bottle of water with me as I stepped out of the car. I quickly grabbed the belt loop of my jeans to prevent them falling down, embarrassing thought, but dropped the bottle in the process. As soon as I was out in the rain I realised I should have stayed in the car, I had no coat and was about to get soaked with nothing to prevent me from keeping the car dry: Great. I picked up the bottle and opened it slowly, making the best of the unfortunate circumstances. However, all was not lost. Sam came to my rescue. Opening a huge umbrella over my head I looked at her and smiled as she looked back at me with a smile that said everything.
I had nothing, the clothes I was wearing had been salvaged from the local charity shop, my belongings were at my house, and I hadn't the heart nor the courage to go there and sort out what I wanted, therefore I had asked someone to just go to the nearest charity shop and get me something. A pair of boys jeans, four sizes too big, a Nike jumper that I had had to roll the sleeves up several times, and slip on shoes. I looked like a mess, but then, it wasn't my fault. Was it ?

I looked down to the bottle and took a sip when Sam started walking. I hurried to catch up, she strolled through the automatic doors and folded down the umbrella as though it was another limb. I was impressed at her grace.
I came to an unexpected sudden halt and almost fell backwards. Someone had grabbed my shoulder and stopped me in my tracks. I looked around to see a beefy security guard in the typical black outfit with a torch, a set of keys, and some sort of walkie-talkie device attached to his belt.
"Excuse me, I was talking to you." he grumbled a noise that was surely not meant to be so deep. If his overall size hadn't originally terrified me enough, that surely would have. Everyone turned to stare. I didn't dare try and see if Sam had realized what had happened. I didn't dare move. He was going to shunt me down to a cell somewhere for following her, I was clearly someone below her standard, I could be seen as a deranged stalker. I could go to jail. I was panicking, reckless thoughts flooding my mind, I could run, flee. Then he waved another huge hand in front of my face.
"Hello? Kid, you there?"
I looked back up and he held out his hand, and in it was the small butterfly charm that had been on Rosie's necklace. The one they had given me after the surgery. Tears threatened to fall and the man looked alarmed as he passed it over.
"It fell out of your pocket when you bent down to pick something up, looks important, didn't want you to lose it now did I?" he smiled kindly, then turned and walked away.

I gripped it tightly, blinking ferociously to fight the tears and turned to try and find Sam. She hadn't seen what had happened, and hadn't stopped. I was standing here, not a clue where we were, and no idea what to do. I could try and find her in these crowds, but that could be more pointless than just standing here aimlessly. I could go back and stand by the car, and be picked up for loitering: this was just perfect. I could always try and reach out for her ? I was saved by a tap on the shoulder.

"Olivia, what happened ? Where's Sam?" James asked, looking concerned that I was standing alone facing a sea of people who were travelling to all different destinations across the country. He thought I was about to hitch-hike and run ? Well, a person with nothing to lose was a dangerous person agreed, but how could I be dangerous ?

"I, I don't know, I dropped something and then looked up and she'd gone." I lied quickly, no need to get security guards involved, I didn't need that sort of first impression stamped onto my forehead. I had enough issues.
"That's ok, I think I know where she went." he said, and lead the way through the crowds who parted easily for his expensive suit. I stayed close on his heels, and tried not to be swallowed by the crowd again. This service station was probably one of the biggest service stations I had ever seen. It was more like a shopping centre. Shops lined the tiled corridor, such as H&M and Primark, there was also other outlets such as fast food stores, Burger King and KFC's bright logos were the first to catch my eye, not that I ever ate there before. I was too concerned with keeping my figure. I automatically shivered at the thought of French fries and a greasy burger. We found Sam in a clothes shop, picking out a pair of jeans. She smiled when we approached, she didn't seem at all disconcerted that I had just disappeared from her side. Did her kids do that often? Was I expected to be very independent? I was, after all, 18, but then after so long in a hospital you begin to depend on people. You depend on people making you your food, reminding you constantly of appointments, you depend on the little things like the fact a nurse always bobbed her head around the door of my private room for the first few months just to say she would be there. Would anyway say they were going to be there just because ?

"Do you like these Olivia?" She asked holding out a pair of jeans that were navy blue. Plain. Could have been a lot worse, I shrugged and nodded, to troubled to wonder why. She looked me up and down quickly and murmured something about not being able to tell what size I was, then dumped one of each size in the basket, which she consequently handed to James, who looked at me and rolled his eyes. Apparently this was the norm. I smiled slightly, shifting my concentration from past and future to present, which appeared to be a lot more pressing.
She then moved to the t-shirts and pointed to them, telling me to pick out one I liked, she explained this was only for the rest of the journey. I jerked a nod and looked. A plain mint green t-shirt. Perfect. I thought we'd be done, but no, she picked out one of each size (not noticing James' arm slag slightly more with the weight) and moved onto the hooded jumpers. I cringed at their designer origins. Animal, and Roxy were the favourites on show. White, zip-less, with Roxy emblazoned across the front in grey. I didn't even look at the price tag. I didn't want to know.

I stood in the changing rooms trying not to hyper-ventilate. This was almost too much, I had only just met these people and they are already buying me outfits that would surely cost over £50, and Sam said it was only for the rest of the journey, did that meant that there was more ? Or, I gulped, did this mean that they had gone back to my house? I remembered how we had left that morning, Rosie had been so excited she couldn't even be ashamed enough at the state of her room, her sweet little room; Stop! My clammy hands were pressed against the wall as I stared at the floor again trying to stop the dizziness. I was avoiding looking at the mirror. I took three measured breaths. I looked at my new outfit which, I had figured out fitted, then started changing back so it could be paid for. I unbolted the door and had the rejects in one hand and had my new outfit in the other. Sam looked truly delighted.
"Perfect." she chimed, "Now we can go pay for this and you can go change in the toilets, and it'll be great!"

Too much, I dropped the clothes and ran, I skidded to a halt outside the shop clutching my stomach, looking either way. My forehead sweaty and my hands too hot, I ran off to my left, Sam in close pursuit.
"Olivia!" she called, as people quickly parted, not for expense, but for my green colour. I barged into the toilets and skipped the long line, ignored the muttering and dirty looks and ran to the nearest cubicle, almost jumping over the elderly lady who was walking out. I slammed the door and emptied my stomach.
I leant against the wall for quite a while just breathing when a timid knock came on the door.
"Olivia, I know, I know this is quite new, I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you, but I just thought I was helping to get things that fit properly. If you want to change or wait that's fine sweetie, I'll slide the bag under the door."

I watched the bag come under the door and just looked at it. Slowly I got changed, making sure to take my butterfly with me. I felt more feminine at least. I put the old clothes into the bag and quietly slid the bolt back and stepped out. Sam smiled and I did my best to muster a small smile back. She took my bag in one hand then guided me out by my shoulders with the other.
We went to a café and sat quietly with James and had a hot drink and slice of cake. I stirred my hot chocolate silently and contemplated eating the slice of blackberry cheesecake that was sitting next to the mug on a plate. I turned slightly to face my new Guardians, I felt they needed some sort of apology.
"I'm sorry, that must have seemed very rude, but I really didn't mean it. I guess I was just a little overwhelmed but I do appreciate it." It was the longest sentence I'd said and they didn't say anything for a second.
"Olivia," James answered, "We can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to be in your position, so for you to be this strong, it's incredible, please, don't apologize for being human, it would make us nervous if you weren't."
He laughed a little at the end and I smiled again. It just felt so forced. I picked up my fork and stabbed at the cheesecake taking a bite to prevent the need for me to talk again, and it was surprisingly good, I was surprised by how much I needed the sugar.

When we were done we went back to the car and began the rest of the journey. It was still raining, but soon we turned off the motorway and we were on the windy country roads. The sick feeling was returning. I had been on these types of roads before, but I had Rosie to keep me company then, we could distract each other, laugh when we saw funny things, sing songs together. Now I was alone in a strange car with yet stranger people. I sighed and held my stomach. Maybe James realised I felt ill.
"Well Olivia, we're almost there now, about half an hour." He said. I nodded so he could see that I heard in the rear-view mirror. "You'll be starting Budehaven Sixth Form when you feel like you're ready. We thought it would be best for you, Faith and Liam go there, of course Liam doesn't go to the college but it's a Community School as well, he's just started Year 7, it will be another friendly face. I'm sure they will both help you get along there very well."
I nodded again, ignoring the fact the decision had been made for me. Being in hospital for any length of time anyone could learn to understand that making decisions is a privilege that is earned. I had a dilemma; going to school would mean facing mine, and everyone else's teenage problems, as well as the constant reminders of what has happened, but then, I could stay at the house, wherever that may be, and get the sympathy vote and 'I understand' routine from Sam and James, the routine which I've had from all the councillors and psychologists over the last 11 months, but no, I don't think they could understand, how could they ? They would say I was insane if I told them. I thought I was insane! No, it just wouldn't be right to tell them they've adopted a freak.

I looked out of the window as we glided around a corner. There wasn't a lot to see, through the rain drops I could see a hedge, then a bit of fence, and then some more hedge. Fascinating. Suddenly I could see the sea, big and blue. I couldn't see where it ended on the shore, we weren't at the right angle for that, but I saw the dark blue expanse that could be nothing else but the sea. The only thing that spoiled it was the dark cloud overhanging it.
"Your room overlooks the sea," Sam said thoughtfully staring off into the horizon, "That's of course if you like the room we thought you could have."
I just looked at the back of her head, I had a choice ? It was like a hotel, I ignored the squirming feeling in my stomach that had never really settled, maybe it would be better when we got out of the car.
"Thanks" I said uncertainly looking back out of the window, instantly killing the conversation, I seemed to be developing a talent for that.

Half an hour passed and the indicator echo startled me as we swung off the road into a lane that I would have never seen unless I knew it was there. The road was smooth and the trees and shrubs cut back perfectly to allow us through with perfect ease, it was as though nature had been designed for this road to be here.
We slowly rolled to a stop. We had reached a pair of gates, easily 20 feet tall and ornately designed. They were attached to a fence, the same height, topped with barbed wire which disappeared into the trees. I raised my eyebrows. These people seemed to take burglaries very seriously.
Then taking my eyes back down to ground level I saw a box room with a man inside wearing a black suit with a white shirt and black tie. He gave a cheery wave, though I knew he couldn't see inside the blacked out windows. He was extremely wide and was reading a book, he reached down and seemed to take a while doing something, then the iron gates started to swing inwards. Cleanly, and with no noise we were admitted.

My jaw dropped as we came into view of the house, shock was an understatement.

A mansion sized property stretched out in front of me, an audible gasp escaped my lips. The pure white building looked like it had always been here. Windows layered the front, light reflecting off it, as I looked at least ten windows spread wide across, but these were not ordinary sized windows easily for times the size of normal ones and the gaps between the windows were like semi-detached house width in itself .
Who were these people?
The building looked brand new, though I knew from what people had told me that this family had been here for a long time. The modern design was elegant and sophisticated while cream coloured angels stood atop cream coloured pillars and decorated the edges of guttering that was certainly not of the plastic kind, there was an edge that gave it a modern but in touch with history style.
As we continued up the lengthy drive past the lawn, not a blade of grass was out of place, the swing benches hung in the drizzle, there canopy's giving them some shelter. Though the sight was impressive it was disappointing. These two adults had two younger boys. Were they not allowed to play ? This garden seemed to be immaculate, no footballs, no trampoline, no goalposts, no swings, where were the toys ? James and Sam were apparently not all they were cracked up to be, and I had been ignorant enough to think otherwise.
We swung gracefully round the fountain round-about by the front doors and came to a graceful stop. I unbuckled myself. I was helped out of the car and looked around. Now I was outside everything looked even grander. I glanced up and saw the height of the building itself. I snapped my head down. That was tall.

"Lets get you inside." Sam said, being very motherly. What she didn't understand is right now, after so long in hospital, I wanted to breathe un-sterilized air, to feel the breeze on my face and in my hair. However she took my shoulders and lead me up the pale granite steps towards the double front doors with the gold handles.
I sighed, I was walking into a new life, and out of an old one. Goodbye Rosie, Mum and Dad. I love you.

She swung the door open and ushered me in. I stepped forward and looked around nervously. Three people stood waiting. Had the man at the gate rung forward ? Probably. They were all shorter than me, two boys, one girl. The girl was the eldest, my age I guess. Faith ? Then next to her was a brown haired boy, he was probably Liam, who else could he be ? Then there was the smallest child. No older than seven I would say. Little sweetheart, blonde hair blue eyes. However, something told me his sweetheart impression was only that, an impression.
Sam took me a few steps further until my smaller steps forced her to stop. She turned slightly to face us all.
"Right, well, this is Faith, and this is Liam," she introduced the girl and the taller of the two boys first, Faith smiled slightly, I noticed she was least like her parents. I could only see the resemblance of her nose. Other than that she was fairly different. Maybe she was more like her grandparents. Then I looked at Liam who gave a little wave with a grin. He had dark hair with blue eyes. Definitely got those from James. "and this is Nathan." she finished pointing to the smallest. His smile was the widest and he scrunched his eyes up behind his gold glasses.
"Guys," James said from behind me, I was startled, I hadn't heard him come in from behind us which was a bit stupid really, "This is Olivia."

I tried to smile as we stood in silence, I tried to do anything, but I was frozen. I was past drowning in the water right now. It was Nathan who was coming to save me from this mess.
"Olivia, Faith told me we had to be nice to you, you don't have any toys, you can share mine."
I risked a quick glance at Faith who was a deep shade of red, so I looked back to Nathan and nodded slowly.
"Thanks." I mumbled. Immediately though, he ran forward and grabbed my hand, leading my off down a hallway. I chanced a look back to see Liam and James watching and Faith and Sam already in a deep hushed conversation. I had no idea what we were doing or where we were going, all I knew was this little boy was taking me somewhere and no one was stopping him, I assumed he wouldn't get me lost.