Just a fun little story about a missing loop that happened in Window of Opportunity. Written by me and was helpfully assisted in editing by Celticknot12. Review and enjoy :)
"Anyway, I'm sorry, but that just happens to be how I feel about it. What do you think?" Daniel asked—again—from the other side of the table. Samantha Carter looked from Daniel to Jack, curious of the Colonel's response.
"I think I hate Fruit Loops." Jack O'Neill sighed as he dropped his spoon back into his bowl and placed his hand to his head.
Daniel pursed his lips and furrowed his brow. "…What?"
"Yeah, you're right. I don't hate them. I despise them." He frowned at the colorful circles that used to be the one thing he enjoyed about getting up early in the morning. He wrinkled his nose as his tongue traced the sugary film left on the roof of his mouth.
Carter's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Sir? Are you alright?"
Jack dragged out a second, long sigh that blended into a moan as he stretched his arms over his head and tilted his chair back on two legs. Slowly bringing his hands to his face, he rubbed his eyes and returned his chair to the ground with a thud.
He looked at Carter and blinked, giving her a forced smile. "Why, yes. Other than the fact that after arriving on P4X-639—yes, Daniel, we have—and Teal'c and I being the only ones with memory of a continuous time loop—yes, Carter, a time loop—and having this very conversation countless of times already. Not to mention me going into a sugar coma from all these Fruit Loops and being blinded by Dr. Frasier and her stupid 100 watt bulb flashlight. Other than that, I'm just peachy, thanks for asking. So, how're you?"
Jack innocently placed his elbow on the table and rested his cheek against his palm as he looked back and forth between the stunned expressions of Sam and Daniel.
After about an hour and a half of explaining, Jack and Teal'c had finally managed to get everyone to believe them and begin—yet again—to find a solution. Several long and tedious hours after that, Jack sat listlessly beside Teal'c and watched Daniel buzz around the chalkboard and constantly flip pages in an outrageously thick book.
"Okay, this section of the text seems to deal primarily with their arrival on P4X-639. Now, this word here…"
Jack's eyes grew more unfocused as he blandly quoted in his head what Daniel had unknowingly repeated over and over…and over…and over…
He blinked and jerked his head up, reviving himself.
"O'Neill?" Teal'c questioned him as Daniel squinted at the text in his book before making a few marks on the board.
Jack sighed as he glanced at his watch. "It's your turn, Teal'c." He quickly rose and exited the room, ignoring Daniel's puzzled look.
He aimlessly wandered the halls, trying to think of ways to spend the last inconsequential half an hour. Thanks to Daniel, Jack had been able to do several things that he'd always wanted to do which would normally get him in trouble…if they remembered.
He and Teal'c planned to go golfing in the gate room again in a few loops, but for now, Jack was on his own. So how should he spend this golden opportunity?
As he passed General Hammond's office, an idea struck him. Slinking back a step, Jack peeked through the open crack of the door. The room was empty.
Taking a few glances down the deserted hall, he slipped into the office and quietly closed the door.
Jack turned around, leaning his back against the door. "So," he said dramatically. "We meet again." He gave a smug smile as he ambled toward the large, vacant chair that sat behind the desk.
Jack positioned himself in front of the chair, pausing for a single moment before easing himself down with a satisfying sigh. He leaned his head against the plush back and rested his hands on the smooth armrests. "Oh, yeah..." He closed his eyes, regretting that he hadn't thought of this sooner.
Stretching out his legs, Jack plopped his boots up on the desk. After a moment, he frowned. This move called for a slight adjustment.
Bracing his feet on the desk, Jack managed to rock the heavy chair back on its hind legs, creating the perfect angle to accommodate for his new position.
He closed his eyes again, smiling in bliss.
A snap sounded and suddenly Jack's feet flew off the desk as he fell backwards. The chair landed with a thud and the colonel rolled off. He lay tensely on the floor, jerking his head around to see if anyone heard or seen.
"Yikes." Jack muttered as he pushed up off the floor and grabbed the chair, attempting to stand it back up. He straightened it, but whenever he let go, it started to fall back in the same direction.
He leaned down to get a closer look at the problem. "Oh…dear." He grimaced when he saw that one of the legs had snapped clean off.
Jack jerked himself upright as the doorknob clicked and the door swung open to reveal General Hammond.
The general looked up from the papers in his hand and froze before stepping inside, staring with surprise at Jack. "Colonel…what…" That was when he saw the chair lying on the floor.
"Hey, there…General! How's it going?" Jack clasped his hands together as he started walking toward the door, finding himself grateful for the time loop that would erase this. "Listen, uh…I'd just love to stay and chat, old buddy, but, uh," he tried to find a gap where he could squeeze past the general and out of the room. "Well, you know, those translations…Daniel is just helpless without me, and Teal'c can raise his eyebrow only so many times, so I gotta…"
"You broke my chair." Hammond turned his gaze away from his favorite chair to gape at him.
Jack's eyes flickered between the general and the door. "…No."
Hammond opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Jack franticly grabbed the doorknob and slammed the door shut in the general's face, quickly locking it. He bit his lip as he leaned his back against the door.
"Colonel O'Neill, what do you think you're doing?" Hammond shouted from the other side.
"Hiding!" Jack glanced at his watch. A little less than twenty minutes before the loop would come again and everything would restart.
"Open this door!"
"I'd rather not, General."
"Open this door; that is an order!"
Jack grimaced. "Alright…" He thought quickly. "But only if I get to order, too."
"What?"
"I'll open the door when I get my order."
"What's going on?" Jack recognized Carter's voice beside the general's.
"Colonel O'Neill has barricaded himself in my office because he broke my chair."
"Hey, Carter." Jack quickly greeted her before the general continued.
"Colonel, what on earth are you talking about? What order?"
"Two pudding cups, please; vanilla, if they have it, but if not, then I'll take some Jell-O. Bring two spoons, too."
"…What?"
"That's my order, sir. Once I get it, I'll obey yours. So, Carter, would you be a friend and help a starving fellow out?"
There was a pause and Jack pressed his ear against the door.
"Alright, Colonel. Hold to your deal and I'll hold to mine. Major, go get him some…pudding." Jack could almost hear his eyes roll.
"Aw, gee thanks, General. You're a real pal!"
Ten minutes later, Jack stretched flat on his back. A crumpled wad of paper that he had been tossing landed on his cheek when a knock on the door distracted him. He flinched and brushed it off as he shoved himself into a sitting position. "Carter?" He asked.
"Yes, sir. Along with the two best vanilla pudding cups I could find."
"Alright!" Jack declared deeply in his throat as he stood. With a click, he unlocked the door and opened it just enough to show his face. He grinned at Sam holding the dessert, and then at Hammond, who was looking sternly at him. "Okay, General. You see? The door has been opened. My part of the deal has been successfully kept."
Hammond nodded once. "So it has."
"Alrighty, so we're good, deal-wise at least?"
"Deal-wise."
Jack nodded. "Good."
With a sudden burst, Jack opened the door wider as he thrust out his hand and grabbed the collar of Sam's shirt, causing her to grunt in surprise as he yanked her inside and slammed the door shut again, locking it with a single click.
"I've always wanted a picnic in here." Jack said with a smile as he plucked one of the dessert and plastic spoon from one of her hands.
Sam glanced at the door, which was vibrating from the fierce pounds the general was hammering upon it. "What about your deal with General Hammond?"
Jack perched on the edge of the desk as he tore open the pudding. "I kept the deal. He said to open the door and I did. He said nothing about keeping it open or which side I had to be on when it closed again." Carter blinked at him and Jack stared back, nonchalantly licking the extra pudding off the foil lid.
"So why did you bring me in here?"
Jack drove his spoon into the cup. "You ever have a picnic by yourself? It's rather depressing." He stuffed the full spoon into his mouth and then slowly dragged it out. He waited for a few seconds and then pointed his now empty spoon at her hand. "Dig in."
Carter glanced down at the second pudding and spoon she held and couldn't help the smile that twitched at the corner of her mouth. It never ceased to amaze her how clever this man could be when he wanted to.
"So what drew you to suddenly burst into Hammond's office and break his chair?" She asked as she peeled off the lid of her dessert, dipping in her spoon just enough to coat the tip.
"Hey, breaking the chair was the second to last thought on my mind; it's too darn comfortable. Seriously, have you tried that chair? My gluteus maximus has never been happier."
"Your second to last thought?"
"Yeah." Jack said, taking a few more bites before realizing Carter was still watching him with raised eyebrows, expecting more of an explanation. "Well, obviously that's not my last thought. However sparingly my thoughts may come, for them to stop altogether, I'd have to be dead."
He began scraping up the last remaining globs of vanilla goodness from the edges as he continued. "And then you'd be having a picnic with a ghost right now, which I happen to not believe in ghosts, so that means I don't believe in myself, which in turn would make me very depressed, so it would be up to you to cheer me up." He slurped the pudding off his spoon and then pulled it out with a pop before licking the plastic like a Popsicle. He glanced at her expectantly.
Sam tried to smother a laugh. "I'd do my best, sir."
He grinned and then glanced down at her half eaten pudding. "You gonna eat that?"
She chuckled as she handed it over, keeping her spoon play with. She chewed on the end for a moment before a thought came to her. "Do you do this kind of stuff every time we loop?"
Jack shrugged. "Usually nothing as forceful as locking the general out of his office."
"Why didn't you just leave when you had the chance?"
He shrugged again. "I like picnics." He licked his spoon.
"But what if this is the last loop and we continue on from here?"
Jack froze for a moment with his spoon in his mouth before he blinked and shook his head. "Nah. You're here, so how could they figure out how to stop it this round?"
Carter smiled. "So, what other stunts have you pulled that I don't remember? Have we had other picnics, too?"
Jack puffed out his cheeks and released a long breath, giving her a quick glance before staring at his feet. "Uh…no. No picnics, this is the first."
She looked at him suspiciously. "What?"
He met her eyes, raising his eyebrows innocently as he shrugged. "Nothing."
"What?" She pressed. "Tell me."
"Well, there was one time I did do something like this…" He placed his hand on the back her neck and moved forward to kiss her.
The next thing he knew, his lips were wet as they hit a spoonful of soggy Fruit Loops.
"Anyway, I'm sorry, but that just happens to be how I feel about it. What do you think?"
Jack looked up at Daniel from across the table and shook his head. "So close."