*Okay, my lovelies… this is the one-shot spin-off I promised in Chapter 8 of Banditry. The scene starts off the same as it does in Chapter 7, when they are deciding who will sleep where. However, from then on, it's spin-off humor. If you have not read Banditry, then this will be a rather confusing story, as nearly all the characters in this story are my OC's, and the situation and first couple paragraphs are straight out of Chapter 7. So… you theoretically could read this without reading Banditry… it'd just be kind of weird without a little background. ;)
Keeping Me Up
Three neko thieves and one Asgardian prince were in a small underground hideout, preparing for bed. Two girls, two boys, and three beds. The numbers did not match up well to anyone's liking.
Noir and Marron, the two girls, exchanged nervous looks with Loki and Blanc, the two boys.
"Either someone is going to have to share, or someone is going to sleep on the floor," Noir announced.
Everyone exchanged awkward looks.
"I say the prince sleeps on the floor," Blanc said loftily.
Loki shot him a look. "I say you sleep on the floor, and I take your bed."
"Or how about you turn your lie into a reality and go stay in an inn for the night?" Blanc suggested.
"Or we could simply go refill that cell in the prison; there was a bed in there. How would you like to stay there the night?" Loki asked bitingly.
"Why don't you just run back to your swan feather bed back up in your ivory tower?" Blanc snapped.
"Here's an idea," Noir cut in. "Prince Loki, you take my bed, and I'll sleep on the floor."
"I refuse to deprive a lady of a bed," Loki rebuked immediately.
Noir scoffed. "I refuse to make the prince sleep on the floor. So unless you'd like to share a bed with Blanc tonight—not very likely—then you can take my bed."
Loki and Blanc glared daggers at each other at the mere suggestion of sharing a bed.
"Are you suggesting that we couldn't make it through the night in the same bed?" Blanc challenged.
Noir considered. "Hmm… yeah, that sounds about right."
"We can be reasonable people," Loki said haughtily, crossing his arms. "If Blanc and I shared a bed tonight, then you and Marron could both have your own beds."
Blanc shot the prince a wary look. "Are you suggesting that we actually share a bed tonight?"
Loki considered and grimaced.
"No take-backs!" Marron giggled. "It's been decided. The boys share a bed, and Noir and I can have our beds."
Loki and Blanc glared.
"I thought you two just said you could be reasonable?" Noir teased.
"Move over, street cat," Loki growled. With a dirty look, Blanc scooted over, and Loki slipped off his boots and cloak. He gave a wary look to the tiny cot. He wasn't sure how both he and the neko would fit. "I'll take the side next to the wall."
The bed was pushed against the wall, and Loki figured he'd rather be squished against the wall than half hanging off the bed. Blanc grumbled agreement.
"Ready for bed, then?" Noir asked brightly, rather amused by the two boys glaring at each other. They could barely stand being in the same room… how could they possibly make it through the night in the same bed?
Well, they were about to find out. Noir and Marron got themselves comfortable in their beds after the light was turned off, and the boys tried to fit comfortably. Loki was lying on his side, back flattened against the wall so that he would take up less room. But Blanc was still on the very edge of the straw mattress. Why? Because the boys were determined to not touch each other. So there was a five inch gap between them.
There was a blissful ten minutes of silence as the boys remained stone still, not daring to move. Then Loki started to get uncomfortable from being backed up to the wall. He wiggled a little and scooted over an inch. Blanc was now starting to go to sleep. So he started to roll onto his back. Both boys were startled out of their drowsiness when Blanc's back started to lean against Loki's chest.
"Quit touching me!" Loki snapped in a rather loud whisper.
"Sorry if I'm trying to sleep a little," Blanc mumbled in a whisper back, scooting to the very edge of the bed again.
Silence. Then Blanc tugged the blanket a little, trying to cover his arms a little better. He smiled smugly to himself as he finally succeeded in getting enough cloth to get himself warmer. Loki frowned as he felt the blanket covering his arms move slowly, inch by inch, until there were a good few inches of himself uncovered. He waited a few moments, letting Blanc think he had won some blanket. Then he grabbed the edge and jerked it roughly. Blanc was once again startled from near-sleep as the blanket was yanked off his arms. He suppressed a growl of annoyance and sharply pulled the blanket back over himself. He heard Loki let out a huff, and then the blanket was yanked clean off the white neko, leaving him totally uncovered by blanket.
Blanc shot straight up. "Hey! Blanket hog!" he accused in a hiss.
"I prefer the term 'covetous blanket-sharer,'" Loki sneered in a whisper.
Blanc's mouth dropped open in anger. "Why, you spoiled little-!" He grabbed at the blanket, tightly wrapped around the prince.
There was a long moment of scuffling as the boys fought in the dark, trying to gain possession of the blanket. Loki was unwilling to let it go; it wasn't particularly cold, but he was determined to deprive the neko of the blanket. Blanc was the same; he wasn't cold, but just wanted to beat the prince.
Noir and Marron, in their beds, sighed in exasperation, wondering how much longer they would have to put up with the boys whispering and fighting. It sounded like a bunch of snakes were taking up residence in the mattress; not a couple of boys.
More scuffling, a few quiet curses and "Give it to me!" and then a "ow!" and a thump as something landed on the floor.
"Ha. Told you to sleep on the floor," Loki whispered smugly. He had managed to push Blanc off the tiny cot and onto the stone floor. The prince was also still in possession of the blanket, much to his satisfaction.
Blanc let out an angry growl. "Shut up, you royal pain in the—"
"Would you two please stop and just go to sleep?" Marron asked pitifully, her voice tired and exasperated.
The boys paused. They hadn't realized they were keeping the girls up, too. With a sigh, Blanc crawled back onto the bed and remained lying perched on the very edge, now blanket-less. Loki, feeling smug, snuggled the thin cotton blanket with a smirk. He even went so far as to scoot another inch away from the wall, so he was now taking up more than half the bed. Blanc was barely hanging off the edge, gripping the sheet to prevent himself rolling onto the floor. There was no way he could get any sleep like this.
Loki, however, was now finally starting to get comfortable. With the entire blanket to himself, an almost-bearable amount of the mattress, and the knowledge that Blanc had not the slightest chance of getting sleep tonight was enough to make him a little sleepy with happiness. Blanc, now feeling particularly vengeful, waited a few minutes for the prince who had invaded his bed to fall asleep. When he began to hear the prince's breathing slow and steady, obviously getting to sleep, he smirked wickedly.
Very carefully, Blanc wriggled so that he was a little more firmly planted on the bed. And then he yanked the pillow from the head of the bed and slammed it down over Loki's face and held it there, smothering the prince.
Marron and Noir, who had nearly fallen asleep, were woken by muffled shouts and protests, and Blanc's quiet snickering. And then Blanc's cry of pain, and then the sound of scuffling once again permeated the room.
Noir groaned and put her pillow over her face, trying to block out the sounds of the boys. Marron sighed and pulled her blanket over her head, grimacing.
There was another thump of something hitting the floor, and Loki groaned, rubbing his back. "Insolent little flea-bitten fluffbrain!" Loki hissed in anger.
"You got a problem, Loki?" Blanc whispered.
"Yes! It's got white hair and a tail, and smells like catnip and canned tuna!" Loki snarled, leaping back onto the bed and yanking the pillow out of Blanc's grasp and whapping him over the head with it.
"Hey!" Blanc protested, still trying to keep his voice down, but failing rather miserably.
"Would you two shut up?!" Noir exclaimed in exasperation. "Some of us would like to get some kind of rest tonight. Take it outside if you're going to fight all night!" With a huff, she planted her pillow over her face again.
Blanc and Loki had stopped dead at the sound of Noir's voice. Grumbling, they started to lie back down.
"You had better share the bloody blanket this time, Loki," Blanc hissed.
"Oh, it's not a 'bloody' blanket yet… we can remedy that, if you want," Loki hissed wickedly.
Blanc scoffed. "You bet we can… would you rather a bloody nose or a broken arm, your highness?" Blanc asked mock-innocently.
"I was thinking more along the lines of me tearing your head off, Neko," Loki grinned.
"I'll show you whose head is getting torn off!" Blanc growled, then pounced on the prince yet again. The blanket and pillow fell onto the floor, completely forgotten while the boys fought with fists on the bed. There were scattered 'oof's and 'ow's and 'quit it's and 'you're going to wake the girls' for a good long moment.
Marron, now exhausted and frustrated by her lack of rest, reached under her cot and pulled out her leather boots. She listened carefully for a moment, pinpointing the boys' locations, and then threw both boots.
"OW!" the prince and white neko cried in unison, both hit squarely on the head and back with the boots.
"Blanc, Prince Loki, I'm really tired. So please do me a favor… and kindly shut your bloody traps!" she finished with a rather uncharacteristically intimidating growl.
Loki and Blanc froze yet again, rather unnerved by the sweet, soft-spoken neko's threat.
"Where's the bloody pillow and blanket?" Blanc asked bitterly, letting go of Loki's throat (which he had been rather effectively throttling whilst Loki yanked viciously on the neko's tail).
Loki coughed, rubbing his neck. "Beyond me… I lost track of the bedclothes sometime around the time my foot collided with your gut, Blanc…"
"Shut your trap; that still hurts. I can start strangling you again, if you want."
After a moment of the boys searching on the floor, they managed to find both of Marron's boots, the pillow, and the blanket. Loki once again found himself pressed against the wall with a little less blanket than he would have liked, and Blanc found himself half hanging off the bed with a little less blanket than he would have liked. A long minute of blissful silence. The girls started to think maybe they could get some sleep. Then…
"There's something sharp poking me," Loki hissed.
"You're seeing into the future… that's my dagger, in about five minutes from now," Blanc grumbled.
"Hilarious, Blanc. Really. There's something—ow! I think there's something in your bed… maybe it's a bug. Yes, I think something's biting me."
"There's nothing in my bed that could bite you, you twit."
"Wouldn't surprise me if there were fleas in your bed, neko."
"Yeah, there's a flea in my bed… one really big one. It's got dark hair, likes to wear green, never shuts up, it's really annoying— Hey!"
A thump as Blanc was shoved hard, and landed on the floor. He scrambled up onto the bed and yanked the blanket away from Loki in retaliation.
"You give that back!" Loki hissed.
"You can't make me!" Blanc taunted.
Noir, finally having enough, swung her legs out of bed and stood, picking up her pillow. She strode over to the boys' bed and gave them both three good whacks over the head with her pillow. "Shut… your… mouths! Shut…. Your…. Mouths!" she snapped with every swing of the pillow. "If Marron or I have to tell you one more time, we're taking you to the harbor and so help me, Odin I will tie you together and push you out to sea on a raft with only one canteen of water and a single dagger! Do you inconsiderate, belligerent, idiotic males understand me?!" she spat.
Both boys were silent, stunned. "Er… but something bit me," Loki protested quietly.
"Look, Your Majesty," Noir poked the prince in the ribs. "You've got bigger problems coming if you keep me and Marron up much longer. A bed bug or flea is the least of your worries when you've got a girl who's willing to drop you in a bilgesnipe den if you make another noise!"
Silence. Noir huffed and went back to her bed.
The boys sighed and lied back down. A few minutes of blissful silence.
"Your stupid tail keeps twitching. It's keeping me up," Loki grumbled.
"Your stupid mouth keeps flapping. It's keeping me up," Blanc growled.
Loki reached forward and pinched Blanc hard on the arm.
"Hey!"
"What?"
"You know what! You just pinched me!"
"Maybe it was your fleas biting you," Loki rolled his eyes.
"You were serious? Yeah, something bit me, I think," Blanc hissed, sounding frightened.
Loki smirked. "Told you so."
"That's it. I'm sleeping on the floor. You can get eaten alive on the mattress."
Loki's eyes widened, not able to believe his luck. Blanc would sleep on the floor and leave Loki on the bed? Perfect. He fought the urge to laugh out loud. This was just… marvelous. Blanc slid onto the stone floor, and Loki smiled and hunkered down in the blanket, lying flat on his back. He reveled in the satisfaction of having the entire bed, blanket, and pillow to himself.
Until he felt something crawling on his arm, and a sharp pain of something biting him.
Loki yelped and scrambled off the bed, accidentally stepping on Blanc in the process.
"Hey!" Blanc protested. "What the bloody blazes?!"
"It bit me! Whatever it was, it bit me! I'm sleeping on the floor, too," Loki announced in a whisper. He lied down in the middle of the floor, keeping the blanket and pillow with him.
"Don't you think the thing could still be on the bedclothes?" Blanc asked nervously.
Loki abruptly tossed the pillow and blanket back onto the bed, startled by the realization. He sighed and curled up into a ball on the stone floor. It was even more uncomfortable than the mattress. It was colder, too. But Loki tried to get comfortable, and closed his eyes.
"What the bloody-?!" Noir asked in amazement when she lifted her head from her pillow the next morning. Her eyes had dark circles under them, and she had a headache, and her eyes were slightly red from lack of rest. But at last she had managed to fall asleep the previous night, once the boys had fallen silent. And now…
Noir tiptoed over to Marron's cot and shook her awake. "Psst. Marron. Wake up. You've got to see this."
Marron woke, bleary and still extremely tired. "What? Noir, I've barely gotten any rest…"
"Shh. Look," Noir put her finger to her lips and gestured.
Loki and Blanc were both asleep in the middle of the floor, huddled together with no pillow or blanket. Yes, there was no better way to put it than snuggling. Loki's black hair was ruffled, mixed with Blanc's white locks. They each had an arm around the other's shoulder. They were both snoring softly. Marron giggled as Blanc suddenly twitched and pushed his head a little closer to Loki's shoulder.
Noir beckoned for her friend, and then sat on the stone floor, hovering just over both the boys' heads. Marron joined her, staring down at the boys. With a mischievous smirk, Noir held up a long piece of straw. She wiggled it towards their faces, wagging her eyebrows at Marron, who tried not to laugh out loud. Marron nodded vigorously, and Noir brought the straw to the boys' faces, tickling them awake.
At first, they mumbled in their sleep and half-heartedly batted the straw away. Then Marron joined in with her own piece of straw, and the boys were assaulted with the irritatingly persistent actions of the vengeful girls.
"Quit," Loki muttered.
"Shut up," Blanc mumbled.
"You shut up," Loki grumbled.
With a smirk, Noir poked them both on the cheek, and they opened their eyes blearily.
Blanc and Loki looked up to see Noir and Marron hovering over them, looking awfully tired. And then they realized where they were. And what they were doing.
It took about half a millisecond for them to be on opposite sides of the room, glaring at each other and blushing.
"Interesting night last night," Noir commented, stifling a yawn. "Getting along finally, I see…" she smirked, cocking an eyebrow at Blanc and Loki.
"Yes, quite," Marron said mildly. "Might I ask how in Yggdrasil that happened?"
"There was something in the bed!" Loki said defensively. "Blanc's fleas kept biting us."
"I do not have fleas!" Blanc protested angrily.
"Then what was biting us last night?" Loki asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
The girls were already combing through the discarded blanket, sheet, and pillow on the bed to find whatever it was.
"There's nothing here," Noir started to say, but was interrupted by Marron suddenly giggling.
"Found it," Marron announced, walking to the center of the room, something cupped in her hands. "Here, come look."
Everyone crowded around and looked into Marron's cupped hands. There was a tiny green caterpillar, about the length of the first knuckle of your thumb. It wriggled about, trying to crawl its way out of captivity.
"Kill it!" Blanc exclaimed. "That's a man-eating little beast!"
"Blanc, it's just a caterpillar," Marron brought the little creature closer to her chest and glared at the white neko.
"It's a vicious little caterpillar," Loki huffed. "It tried to eat us alive last night."
"How did it even get on your bed?" Noir asked in wonder.
Blanc blinked. "I… don't know."
Marron looked down at the grub in her hands. "Perhaps it was on one of my boots… and when I threw them at you two quarreling, it dislodged and wanted to get back at you for keeping it up as well."
"Evil little thing was bent on murder," Blanc shuddered.
"So were we…" Loki muttered, throwing a mutinous look at the white neko.
"Yet somehow that equates to you and Blanc snuggling on the floor?" Noir asked mockingly.
Loki and Blanc both blushed again. "That never happened. We are never speaking of that again."
Noir and Marron smirked to each other, though. "Sounds like blackmail material to me."
Note from LoquaciousQuibbler: Well, that was fun… Several of the readers of Banditry supported the idea of a one-shot spin-off of Chapter 7, where Loki and Blanc actually do share a bed. So here we are. Lots of whisper-arguing, as promised, and pillow-fighting, and boot-throwing, and insults, and very little sleep. Of course we had to have Blanc and Loki cuddling by morning… that's just a given, right? In any case, I hope you liked this. It was fun to write. Let me know if you enjoyed my little spin-off.
Please favorite and review… if you have ideas for other spin-offs, I suppose you can put them here, or on Banditry reviews, too. ;)