To Break and Mend a Heart
When she was young, Renee often left Bella alone for hours at a time, although her red-eyed angel always watched over her. When she is seven and Renee has been gone for over ten hours, her angel takes her, to give her a better life. For two years they are on the run but she decides that it is best for both of them if she left claiming to have never seen his face and that she didn't know his name, which is true – she had called him "my angel." She is sent to live with Charlie after child services discovers how the "kidnapper" got Bella in the first place. Seven years later, the Cullens move to Forks. But what happens when her angel is among them, and more specifically Jasper is her angel.
Preface
As I waited for my red-eyed angel to return to our motel room, I couldn't help but think Can I live like this any longer? Sure the past two years had been so much better than the seven before that but the whole U.S. was looking for me. We were always on the run.And okay, yeah, he can teach me more than any public school could and I loved him with all my heart, so much so that I considered him my husband, but he could barely handle staying around humans three days of a week, if anyone tried to take me against my will, I know he wouldn't be able to control his anger.
"Penny for your thoughts, my beauty." I jumped at the sound of his voice. I hadn't heard him come in, but then when do I ever. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."
"It's okay," I replied, "I should be used to it by now."
"Are you going to tell me what you were thinking about?" he asked
"Just thinking about us," I replied, trying not to worry him.
"Uh-oh," he said a smile on his face. "What did I do now?"
"Nothing. You haven't done anything wrong. I's just…I don't think this is the best way for me to live."
"It's better than living with that so called mother back in Arizona. Leaving a seven year old alone for hours at a time, acting more like a child than a mother."
"But I have a father too. He must be worried about me. I could go live with him."
"You want to leave me?" He sounded so broken, so hopeless. I had never seen him look so weak.
"You know that's not true. You know what I'm feeling; that it hurts just to suggest this but one of us has to. What if we get caught and they try to force me away from you? What if I get hurt in the process? You wouldn't be able to control your anger. Someone could get hurt. You don't want that."
"So you'll do what? Just leave? What happens when someone asks you who took you?"
"I'd tell them that he always wore a mask around me and that I never heard his name. You'd be in the clear."
"So what would happen to us? Would we ever see each other again?"
"I don't know. I hope so."
I wrapped my arms around him, then, holding him as to me as I could while he did the same.
"You know how much I love you. You're my savior, my world, my angel."
"I love you, Isabella. I can't lose you."
"My Heart and soul belong to you, nothing can change that, but I cannot live like this. I'm half in one world and half in another. I need to be in one world and right now that can't be your world. Please let me go. Let me live." Tears were streaming down my face as I clung to him, knowing this could be the last time he would ever hold me, but deep down inside I knew this was the right thing to do, for the both of us.
Slowly, I withdrew from the safety of his cold, yet somehow warm, embrace and went to the small suitcase that held both of our belongings. I knew I shouldn't bring much. For my plan to work I had to leave behind that made it look like my angel had actually cared. I changed into my baggy, "laundry day" clothes and grabbed the sketch book I have had since before our time together. My angel said that I drew better than most nine year olds; said that I had talent. Quickly, I wrote "my imaginary friend" underneath a portrait I had done of him so that anyone who saw it wouldn't think twice about him. Then, slowly, I removed the ring he got me as a symbol of our love and laid it on top of his favorite historical non-fiction book. I thought about taking off my half of our BFF necklaces (on the back of mine it has "my angel" inscribed on the back and "my beauty" inscribed on the back of his) but decided against it, instead tucking it under my shirt.
I was at the doorway before I took one final look at him. He was still sitting on the bed embracing the air where I used to be. I wanted so badly to run into those arms and tell him that I wasn't leaving but I knew I couldn't. Instead I just whispered goodbye and walked out the door.
Chapter One
Bella sat straight up in her bed, tears already rolling down her cheeks. Though he never left her thoughts, she hadn't had a dream involving her angel for three years. She could still remember his every feature, even though it had been seven years since she had last seen him. She wished, now, that she had known his name; calling him "my angel" every time she thought of him seemed soft of childish. She couldn't help but wonder if he ever thought of her; if he ever looked for her.
She looked over at her alarm clock. It read 2:30AM. Charlie wouldn't be up for another two hours but she knew she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. So she decided to get ready for the day. She grabbed her toiletry bag and headed to the bathroom for a shower. She took two towels from the cupboard and placed them on the sink to let the steam from the shower warm them. Then she turned the shower on, stripped, and stepped into the shower. She let the hot water relax her muscles for a few minutes before she shampooed her hair, washed her body, and conditioned her hair. Then she turned off the water, stepped out of the shower, and wrapped her hair in one towel and her body in the other. She grabbed her toiletry bag and returned to her room.
She plugged her curler warmer and her blow dryer, unwrapped her hair and brushed through it, wrapped her hair around her curlers, and proceeded to blow dry it. Then she walked over to her closet and looked at her choices. Being the last weekend of summer break, she and her gal pals where going on a shopping spree and this was the first year they could drive themselves.
She decided on a simple light blue halter summer dress that reached just above her knees with a white short sleeved sweater and a pair of white flip flops. She then applied a light layer of make-up. Finally, she removed the curlers from her hair and gently brushed through it to make the curls soft.
She looked at the clock again and saw that only an hour had passed, so she decided to go downstairs and make breakfast and orange juice.
She took her apron off the hook and tied it around her small waist. Then she took out the ingredients for homemade pancakes, bacon, sausage, four saucepans, the oranges, and the juicer. She placed the sausage and bacon in their saucepans and turned the burners on to medium heat. Then she mixed the pancake ingredients together and turned another burner on medium-high heat. She, then, peeled the oranges she needed, put the rest away, and began Charlie's coffee. After cutting the oranges in half, she turned the sausage and bacon and poured the batter onto the hot saucepan. Then she turned on the final saucepan and began cooking four eggs sunny side up.
At exactly four thirty she had the sausage, bacon, and pancakes on plates and placed them on the table just as she heard the shower come on upstairs. She set the table for two and began oranges. She then placed the now full pitcher of juice and the coffee pot on the table.
She was just placing two eggs on each plate when Charlie came down the stairs.
"Smells good, Bells," as he took his place at the table. "What's the occasion?"
"There is none," she replied. "Had this dream last night and woke up at 2:30 this morning. I couldn't get back to sleep so I decided to start the day a bit early. Besides, how often am I up early enough to cook you a proper breakfast?" She went to the cupboard to get the maple syrup and placed it on the table as she took her seat. "Go easy on the sausage and bacon. I don't need you to have a heart attack."
"Now, Bells, you know I'm fit as a horse," he complained. "You have no reason to worry."
"Just the same, you could still have a heart attack if you have too many greasy foods," she reasoned. 'Besides, I'm your daughter, if I don't worry about you who will?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he grumbled as he took a sip from his coffee mug. The rest of the meal was silent and Charlie left as Bella began to clean up the kitchen.
By the time Bella had washed and put away the dishes, wiped the stovetop, counter, and table clean, and began a load of laundry it was already seven thirty. Lauren, Jessica, and Angela would be there in thirty minutes.
She went back up to her bedroom to finish getting ready. She took her white hair band off her vanity table and carefully placed it between her soft curls. She reapplied her lip gloss and switched from her black purse to her white one. Then she went back downstairs and moved the clothes from the washer to the dryer and put her apron back on its hook.
Just as she picked up her purse from the couch, there was a knock on the door.
Five minutes early as always, she thought with a smile on her face. Time for a fun day off shopping and analyzing the latest gossip.