The Journey Begins
Once there lived a certain plastic potato named Mr. Potato-Head. He was a very dashing potato with interchangeable facial features, wiry white arms, and adorable little blue feet (sadly no legs).
He and his plastic potato wife lived in Nevada. They were a rare breed of inorganic plastic potatoes.
Mr. Potato-Head decided randomly to go out and say hello to the world. "There's a lot out there for a plastic potato to see," he remarked to his wife once.
So he set off into the infinity and beyond. This journey he embarked on has come to be known as MR. POTATO-HEAD"S INCREDIBLE JOURNEY!!!!!!
Ch 1: The League of Extraordinary Forces
One day on Mr. Potato-Head's incredible journey, he stumbled across some fearsome creatures in Iowa. They were the League of Extraordinary Great Forces of the world. *evil background music plays* These Great Forces had vowed to destroy each other 2 gabillion zillion years ago, and, well, as they're all still alive and kickin' you can see how (un)successful they've been. Occasionally, in their great effort to annihilate each other the Forces "accidentally" cause "minor" disturbances on Earth (earthquakes, flash floods, fires, tornados).
The Forces were attending a meeting to discuss peace (as if that would EVER happen). When Mr. Potato-Head walked in on them, he was so surprised. In fact, he was so surprised he whipped out his "I'm so surprised"-eyebrows from his handy-dandy butt compartment.
The meeting hadn't exactly gotten off to a great start. For one, AIR was Missing-In -Action. Which was sort of a problem, since he/she/it was the smart one who suggested this whole stupid party in the first place.
Mr. Potato-Head went unnoticed at first, because the three remaining Forces were in heated negotiations.
"All right. You guys know I could wipe you out at the slightest whim. BUT, I'm having a rare nice experience. I'll stop my plans to destroy you for the small price of, say, the whole world," DIRT said cockily.
WATER: "EXCUSE ME? Since when can YOU wipe out ME at any second? What's taking you so long then, huh? HUH? You've only had 2 gabillion zillion years to do it!"
DIRT: "Er.....um.....I've just been...er.....biding my time.....er.....Yeah! That's right, biding my time.......Ooh! Look! A rock!"
FIRE: "This is a waste of my precious time. I will not surrender. I will conquer. I will destroy. I will burn. EVERYTHING."
WATER *muttering*: "Pyro....."
At this point Mr. Potato-Head spoke up. "Hello! I'm Mr. Potato-Head! I'm a potato! Nice to meet you!"
DIRT, who had been intently studying the rock, jumped up. "OOH! Look! A potato! I LOVE potatoes!"
FIRE, jumping wildly in ecstasy, screamed "Let's roast it! BURN, potato! BURN!"
WATER: "Pyro"
Mr. Potato-Head set off running (waddling, more like) on his cute little blue feet. Poor Mr. Potato-Head couldn't go very fast though, because all he had were those little feet. No legs. He shouted frantically "No! NO! Don't eat me! I'm just a PLASTIC potato! No flavor!"
WATER: "That's what salt is for!"
Luck was on Mr. Potato-Head's side again. He was miraculously saved by the arrival of the fourth Great Force; AIR.
Air *triumphantly*: "BWA HA HA HA HA HA H AH Ahaha haha haahahah hehehehehehe ...........heheh.........heheheh..............heh...........heh......ha..............hehe...............heh.......ahem....AHEM! You have fallen for my trick! You are now trapped and I will annihilate you!"
DIRT slowly looks around. "Uh, Dude, we're in an open plain. That's not exactly trapped."
AIR, looking slightly put out, said simply "Oh."
FIRE: "OPEN PLAIN? Why didn't anyone tell me? Open plains are the best for FIRES!" And with that FIRE stretched out his/her/it's arms and fire burst from the fingertips. The flames gobbled up the dry, starched grasses and soon the plain was ablaze as far as the eye could see.
Smokey the Bear randomly popped up out of nowhere. *freaky laugh* "Fires are BAD. Do not start fires. Save the Earth. Fires are B-" He was fried to cinders as the fire reached him.
Mr. Potato-Head's plastic became soft and smushy in the intense heat and he moaned softly "I'm melting..............I'm meeeeeeeelllllllllting.........!"
WATER followed FIRE's actions, only water seeped forth from her/his/its fingertips, dousing the roaring fire. WATER got a LITTLE carried away, and there was about two feet standing water on the ground. (Mr. Potato-Head stood on a conveniently placed rock)
Once satisfied, WATER turned to FIRE and muttered, "Pyro."
FIRE fell to the ground twitching and writhing in the wetness. "My *pant* FIRE. My BEAUTIFUL flames! You killed them! You has killed the precious! Murderer! I vow to destroy you!"
WATER *boredly*: "Now where have I heard that before?"
Meanwhile DIRT was slowly inching towards Mr. Potato-Head, licking his/her/its lips. Mr. Potato-Head noticed and began inching away (towards more conveniently placed rocks) in the opposite direction.
AIR (triumphant again): "Thank you, FIRE. You have just brought to my attention what else plains are the best for! TORNADOS!
AIR jumped up into the sky and hovered there, suspended above , holding outstretched arms. Tornados swirled from AIR's fingertips and gathered around the grounded Forces in an ever-tightening circle (think X-men 2). AIR laughed insanely from above. "Now I've got you!"
DIRT looked at a watch-less wrist, "Oh, look at the time! I've got tons to do! Dirt to till, earthquakes to cause......you know. It's been just wonderful meeting with you all, but I really must be getting back underground. TTFN! Tata for now!"
With that said, DIRT concentrated. She/he/it clenched her/his/its fists, bent over and grunted like one who is constipated. A huge crack broke the land in half directly underneath DIRT, who dropped down into the abyss. WATER dodged the crack nimbly, but FIRE fell in shouting "HEY!!!!"
Mr. Potato-Head teetered on the edge of the fault. Back........and forth........and back.......and forth..... Finally, when he was leaning dangerously over the edge, mere seconds from experiencing the biggest freefall of his life, AIR once again intervened. The tornados were instructed by AIR to close in upon WATER. As they twirled in closer, Mr. Potato-Head was caught up in the rush of air and twirled about. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEE," he shouted.
Upon landing he discovered, unfortunately, that he had lost his "I'm so surprised" eyebrows in the storm, as well as his shiny orange nose.
The news had a field day speculating the trigger for the multitude of natural disasters that took place seemingly all at the same time that day. Over an Iowa plain, 12 tornados had occurred in basically the same spot. Even more puzzling was the earthquake that formed a fault larger and longer than the San Andreas fault of California. The state of Iowa would never again be inhabited by human life, due mostly to these natural disasters and more. A mysterious fire took place on that SAME Iowa plain, eventually consuming the entire state. It was immediately followed by the worst flash flood in history, the News People reported. Iowa will now forever remain a marshy wasteland.
As a nose-less, eyebrow less Mr. Potato-Head walked on, he grumbled "I don't think I like Iowa very much."
And Mr. Potato-Head's incredible journey continues on.................
Once there lived a certain plastic potato named Mr. Potato-Head. He was a very dashing potato with interchangeable facial features, wiry white arms, and adorable little blue feet (sadly no legs).
He and his plastic potato wife lived in Nevada. They were a rare breed of inorganic plastic potatoes.
Mr. Potato-Head decided randomly to go out and say hello to the world. "There's a lot out there for a plastic potato to see," he remarked to his wife once.
So he set off into the infinity and beyond. This journey he embarked on has come to be known as MR. POTATO-HEAD"S INCREDIBLE JOURNEY!!!!!!
Ch 1: The League of Extraordinary Forces
One day on Mr. Potato-Head's incredible journey, he stumbled across some fearsome creatures in Iowa. They were the League of Extraordinary Great Forces of the world. *evil background music plays* These Great Forces had vowed to destroy each other 2 gabillion zillion years ago, and, well, as they're all still alive and kickin' you can see how (un)successful they've been. Occasionally, in their great effort to annihilate each other the Forces "accidentally" cause "minor" disturbances on Earth (earthquakes, flash floods, fires, tornados).
The Forces were attending a meeting to discuss peace (as if that would EVER happen). When Mr. Potato-Head walked in on them, he was so surprised. In fact, he was so surprised he whipped out his "I'm so surprised"-eyebrows from his handy-dandy butt compartment.
The meeting hadn't exactly gotten off to a great start. For one, AIR was Missing-In -Action. Which was sort of a problem, since he/she/it was the smart one who suggested this whole stupid party in the first place.
Mr. Potato-Head went unnoticed at first, because the three remaining Forces were in heated negotiations.
"All right. You guys know I could wipe you out at the slightest whim. BUT, I'm having a rare nice experience. I'll stop my plans to destroy you for the small price of, say, the whole world," DIRT said cockily.
WATER: "EXCUSE ME? Since when can YOU wipe out ME at any second? What's taking you so long then, huh? HUH? You've only had 2 gabillion zillion years to do it!"
DIRT: "Er.....um.....I've just been...er.....biding my time.....er.....Yeah! That's right, biding my time.......Ooh! Look! A rock!"
FIRE: "This is a waste of my precious time. I will not surrender. I will conquer. I will destroy. I will burn. EVERYTHING."
WATER *muttering*: "Pyro....."
At this point Mr. Potato-Head spoke up. "Hello! I'm Mr. Potato-Head! I'm a potato! Nice to meet you!"
DIRT, who had been intently studying the rock, jumped up. "OOH! Look! A potato! I LOVE potatoes!"
FIRE, jumping wildly in ecstasy, screamed "Let's roast it! BURN, potato! BURN!"
WATER: "Pyro"
Mr. Potato-Head set off running (waddling, more like) on his cute little blue feet. Poor Mr. Potato-Head couldn't go very fast though, because all he had were those little feet. No legs. He shouted frantically "No! NO! Don't eat me! I'm just a PLASTIC potato! No flavor!"
WATER: "That's what salt is for!"
Luck was on Mr. Potato-Head's side again. He was miraculously saved by the arrival of the fourth Great Force; AIR.
Air *triumphantly*: "BWA HA HA HA HA HA H AH Ahaha haha haahahah hehehehehehe ...........heheh.........heheheh..............heh...........heh......ha..............hehe...............heh.......ahem....AHEM! You have fallen for my trick! You are now trapped and I will annihilate you!"
DIRT slowly looks around. "Uh, Dude, we're in an open plain. That's not exactly trapped."
AIR, looking slightly put out, said simply "Oh."
FIRE: "OPEN PLAIN? Why didn't anyone tell me? Open plains are the best for FIRES!" And with that FIRE stretched out his/her/it's arms and fire burst from the fingertips. The flames gobbled up the dry, starched grasses and soon the plain was ablaze as far as the eye could see.
Smokey the Bear randomly popped up out of nowhere. *freaky laugh* "Fires are BAD. Do not start fires. Save the Earth. Fires are B-" He was fried to cinders as the fire reached him.
Mr. Potato-Head's plastic became soft and smushy in the intense heat and he moaned softly "I'm melting..............I'm meeeeeeeelllllllllting.........!"
WATER followed FIRE's actions, only water seeped forth from her/his/its fingertips, dousing the roaring fire. WATER got a LITTLE carried away, and there was about two feet standing water on the ground. (Mr. Potato-Head stood on a conveniently placed rock)
Once satisfied, WATER turned to FIRE and muttered, "Pyro."
FIRE fell to the ground twitching and writhing in the wetness. "My *pant* FIRE. My BEAUTIFUL flames! You killed them! You has killed the precious! Murderer! I vow to destroy you!"
WATER *boredly*: "Now where have I heard that before?"
Meanwhile DIRT was slowly inching towards Mr. Potato-Head, licking his/her/its lips. Mr. Potato-Head noticed and began inching away (towards more conveniently placed rocks) in the opposite direction.
AIR (triumphant again): "Thank you, FIRE. You have just brought to my attention what else plains are the best for! TORNADOS!
AIR jumped up into the sky and hovered there, suspended above , holding outstretched arms. Tornados swirled from AIR's fingertips and gathered around the grounded Forces in an ever-tightening circle (think X-men 2). AIR laughed insanely from above. "Now I've got you!"
DIRT looked at a watch-less wrist, "Oh, look at the time! I've got tons to do! Dirt to till, earthquakes to cause......you know. It's been just wonderful meeting with you all, but I really must be getting back underground. TTFN! Tata for now!"
With that said, DIRT concentrated. She/he/it clenched her/his/its fists, bent over and grunted like one who is constipated. A huge crack broke the land in half directly underneath DIRT, who dropped down into the abyss. WATER dodged the crack nimbly, but FIRE fell in shouting "HEY!!!!"
Mr. Potato-Head teetered on the edge of the fault. Back........and forth........and back.......and forth..... Finally, when he was leaning dangerously over the edge, mere seconds from experiencing the biggest freefall of his life, AIR once again intervened. The tornados were instructed by AIR to close in upon WATER. As they twirled in closer, Mr. Potato-Head was caught up in the rush of air and twirled about. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEE," he shouted.
Upon landing he discovered, unfortunately, that he had lost his "I'm so surprised" eyebrows in the storm, as well as his shiny orange nose.
The news had a field day speculating the trigger for the multitude of natural disasters that took place seemingly all at the same time that day. Over an Iowa plain, 12 tornados had occurred in basically the same spot. Even more puzzling was the earthquake that formed a fault larger and longer than the San Andreas fault of California. The state of Iowa would never again be inhabited by human life, due mostly to these natural disasters and more. A mysterious fire took place on that SAME Iowa plain, eventually consuming the entire state. It was immediately followed by the worst flash flood in history, the News People reported. Iowa will now forever remain a marshy wasteland.
As a nose-less, eyebrow less Mr. Potato-Head walked on, he grumbled "I don't think I like Iowa very much."
And Mr. Potato-Head's incredible journey continues on.................