"Wake up, Naruto," screamed Sakura as she cuffed me in the back of the head. It hurt like hell too.
"Sakura?" I asked drowsily. Instead of answering, she just hit me again and I slowly got up. It took me a minute to realize she wasn't the only one there. I slowly looked around the room and realized there had to be at least five people in here. Granted, I was too hung over to tell who they were right away, but I'm pretty sure they were people. Weren't they? I blinked my eyes a few times, before one of the mysterious shapes spoke up.
"This is so troublesome. Just wake up Naruto." Well that was definitely Shika. So the guy was too lazy to do anything harder than sleeping, but he shows up at my house with a freaking mob, just to wake me up? Nice.
"What are you all doing here?" I mumbled in disbelief as I saw everyone finally. The blurred shapes became faces. There was Sakura, who was fuming, Kiba and his damn dog, Akamaru, Shika and Ino were front and center flanking her. Gaara was leaning against my wall not even looking at me. I knew he was assessing the situation as always. He doesn't even like these people. He must have come by his own curiosity to see if I needed help. Well, I have one on my team. Go me.
Kakashi and Iruka leaned on the very back wall behind everything. Kakashi reading his "Ichi Ichi Paradise" while holding Iruka's hand. Hell, was that Sasuke in the back? What is he doing here? I should go over and punch him just for coming in my home. "What are you doing here?" I said pointedly to Sasuke.
"Dobe," Sasuke muttered. I was ready to go punch him and show him the real wrath of me by kicking ass when Iruka cleared his throat. I tried to open my mouth to call him the Teme he is but if there was one man I would ever pause an all-encompassing murder for, it was my old Tensei Iruka.
"Naruto stop being an idiot. There's more important things going on than petty high school feuds. Now Sakura-Chan was just coming by to tell you about a site she found. She said your house would the best because you have the only large screen computer. Oh, and don't feel singled out–Sakura woke every one of us up today as well." Is it just me, or did I see him scowl slightly in her direction? Strange. Maybe she caught Iruka and Kakashi at a bad time. Oh shit, don't think of that. The last thing I need is to blush in front of everyone.
"Well Sakura-Chan, why don't you enlighten me as to why you are here in my house?" She scowled at me, and I was preparing to shield my face in case one of the shurikens in her pack ended up heading in my direction. But she seemed to deem something else more important and turned around on her heels to look at everyone else.
"Everyone, I was searching the Internet for something to do last night. I was just browsing when I found this site called FanFiction." I looked around at everyone to see if they were as confused as I was. Besides Gaara and Sasuke, who always wear that look, it seemed comforting that everyone else looked as stupid as I felt. Sakura continued, "Its basically a site where perverted teenage girls write their fantasies about already existing media, and write their own stories, often with questionable grammar." Sakura must have noticed the heated glares coming from several of us, and realized she should probably get back to the point.
"So, the reason this all concerns you is that I found an interesting section of the site, focused on us." I looked around, and mostly everyone had the same look of confusion and disbelief on their faces. Even Sasuke was crinkling his nose up, which was never a good sign. He only made that face when his mask was threatening to break through, or when he was confused, which was pretty much never. Gaara was still unemotional as ever. One has to wonder why we even became friends in the first place. Another unsolved mystery, I guess. "So something else that may shock you guys is… They often put us in romantic pairs. By that, I mean they make FanFiction dedicated to relationships here, that would never ever happen. I'm going to log on Naruto's computer and show you some of the entries."
We all got up to get closer to the computer. Even Sasuke was making steps toward us, something he tries his best to never do. Asshole. Shika looked bored and yawned, waiting for whatever was going to show up on the screen. Kiba, Ino and Sakura were right in the front with me. Kakashi and Iruka had come forward to the edge of the crowd still interested and still holding hands. Once I noticed this little tidbit of information I looked away quickly. No need to get caught looking. I was looking at Sakura's pink looked so soft and I just wanted to touch it while kissing her charming forehead. She would kill me if I even dared. I'd been playing for her affections for years, and she had been playing for Sasuke's even longer. There was another reason to hate the bastard.
Everyone suddenly hushed as the site came on the screen. It looked like a pretty average site to me. It had an average layout, if a bit simple. I guess that's the way these hipster artists typed their stuff now. She went to the top and clicked browse and then chose the anime/manga option. Naruto was at the top. Whether that was an honor or a death sentence, I wasn't sure. If any girls made me not reach my dream I was going to strangle them. Believe it! Sakura opened it and there were lots of options like genre and length and who was in the story. There were only two slots, though, for who was in the story. That's strange. I hope they put all the other characters in. I quickly shook my head. Was I actually worrying what people were thinking? People probably in America, that I didn't care about? She continued clicking through random options.
Finally, she spoke. "They have stories on literally every couple. I mean, they have ones that are just about friendship or their take on the story, but no one reads those, so there's no point to even looking at them. And when I say every relationship I mean every. Let's start on an almost innocent one. Iruka and Kakashi, do you mind?"
Kakashi just looked up from his book and shook his head. Iruka itched his head nervously before saying "Sure Sakura." He didn't really convince anyone, but seeing as they were the only real couple in the room, no one was going to push it.
Sakura picked their names for the choices and chose rated M romance. Does that mean the same thing it does in movies? I silently wonder.
Sakura opened up the first story, and spread through it a little ways, then stepped away from the screen so everyone could come over and read it. I was already over there so I just began reading. Screw everyone else–they could wait. That's what they get for showing up at my damn house.
The lines in the story were kind of weirdly placed and I read the passage quickly.
"Iruka, I love you so much. Let me have you now," said Kakashi as he slowly leaned forward to give Iruka a kiss. Iruka looked unsure of what he wanted to do, but he supposed he might as well go with what feels good. He closed his eyes and then he felt a light brush on his lips. Is this how kissing another man felt? He could hardly tell the difference from all the times he had kissed women. On the inside, he knew what he was doing was wrong, but who was he to put his feelings and Kakashi's on hold just because he knew what certain higher ups in his life would think. He felt the sweet love oozing from his heart as he allowed Kakashi entrance in his mouth. He couldn't help but think of Naruto during these small actions, thinking he would much rather do these things to him.
That was the last thing I saw before I jumped back and fell on the couch. What are these crazy girls thinking? Iruka and Kakashi were his Sensei's, nothing else. I was going to find this crazy bitch and carve his initials in her forehead and make her pay. My thoughts were quickly interrupted as I heard Iruka coughing loudly, probably extremely embarrassed. Kakashi just shrugged it off. Honestly, it probably wasn't all that far off from the books he was always reading. Iruka sent me an apologetic look and ran out the door. That jerk! He was leaving me to deal with all the awkwardness. I straightened up and looked at everyone, ready to say something, but nothing came out. Everyone probably thought I was an idiot, but I felt my cheeks go dark red. Kiba and Gaara must have felt like kind souls because they saved my life from even more embarrassment.
"Alright, everyone, get the fuck out," yelled Kiba. Well, that's one way to clear a crowd. Or you could just use Gaara's technique of staring at everyone and scaring the shit out of them until they leave. That worked too. It didn't take long for everyone to get out of the house. I think Sakura had wanted to show much more. I could tell by the middle finger she sent my way as she walked out with Ino. When it was just me, Kiba, Akamaru and Gaara remaining, I approached them.
"Thank you guys so much!" I practically knocked them over as I ran over to thank them. Kiba just shoved me off and Gaara sent me a knowing look. He knew I owed him and I knew I did too. No need to mention it.
Too bad Kiba had the same energy as me. "Hey, fuck-face. You know I love you and all but you so owe me. Got any Sake?" he said, while draping his arm around my shoulder lazily. I shoved him off and frowned at him.
"Only if you leave and shut the hell up." He smirked, grabbed the rest of my Sake, winked at me and ran out with Akamaru. He was such a dick. Gaara simply nodded at me and walked out the door. Some may say this was antisocial behavior, but I was his best friend, and he only treated me, his sister and his brother with this this kind of social heir. Well, he was sort of the head of his village, so it was understandable.
I shut the door behind him and plopped down on my couch. I was pretty much passed out when I heard some banging on the door. I was going to murder Sakura if it was her again, only to bother me with more crap.
"Who is it?" I yelled, maybe a little too loud and with too much malice. Well, I was hung over. What did you except?
"It's me, Dobe. Let me in."
