"Dost thou desire such succulent fruits that slumber within witch's earth? I take heed, O' Noble Cat! Great Noble Cat, a mistake has been! The grapes, the apples, the cherries, all afloat they are. Have ye no attention nor thought? One cannot just burgle fruit from the garden, the garden ends up always burgling itself."

"THE FAERIES"

"CUCUMBER MELON"

"w-wha..the fuck?.." Harper woke up suddenly realizing she was mumbling amongst herself. A woman, if it even was a woman, tapped angrily on the glass that sat above a variety of lotions and bubble baths.

"I would like to buy this cucumber melon bubble bath, please!" She/he announced. Harper rang up "its" order awkwardly. The lady-man had skin that resembled a wet, wrinkly leather jacket, and hair that seemed like it would melt the sun if it was any more blonde, and its lack of eyebrows that are hidden with high-rise penciled lines remind Harper of "The Shining".

"Hurry it up, girl" It snipped. "I have a nail appointment waiting!" Trying to remember which number on the cash register to push, Harper quickly gets aggravated.

"Jack Nicholson called. He wants his eyebrows back." Harper said with her back turned.

"Excuse me?" It asked with a raspy voice. Harper turned her head back to look at the customer and smiled. "That will be 6.99, si-ma'am!" Harper bagged up the bubble bath and handed it to the customer after it handed her a twenty-dollar bill, which also ticked her off because she was running low on change.

Ching! The register opened and Harper gave the change to the customer. "HEEEEERE'S JOHNNY…I mean your change." The she-male scowled and grabbed its bubble bath in a heartbeat and clacked down the mall's hallway in its leopard printed high-heeled shoes.

Harper rubbed her fingers through her dark lavender hair to massage her temples. She could still hear the clacking of Jack Nicholson's expensive shoes. Today is not really a good day for Harper.

Actually, everyday for the past seven months have been rough for her. Being a college drop-out, she has been working nearly every day at the local mall in order to save up money for a college for photography. Her previous college she attended for two years were a total waste of time and money, and even where she met the biggest asshole in the world. Asher Rice.

Working at an Avon kiosk for several months can get pretty boring pretty fast, but Harper hasn't been complaining. Since sales are low and the mall is losing customers to other attractions day by day, all Harper does at the kiosk is sit on her ass and think about faeries. Yes, faeries. Faeries and the creatures of the unseen have been an obsession for Harper ever since she was little. Being twenty years old, yea, she gets picked on quite a lot even 'til this day.

So for Harper , that job wasn't so bad, until seven months ago of course. That's when the worst thing happened to her.

More terrible than an illness…

More terrible than a car accident…

More terrible than a woman on The Maury Show finding out that that man "ain't yo baby's daddy."

It's worse than anything she could ever imagine. On a dark and stormy night at the mall…a creature from the night lurked in to the shoe store, Journey's….filled out and turned in an application..and was hired. That awful creature was none other than the demon known as..

Asher Rice.

He wasn't actually a demon, but in Harper's eyes, oh yes. Her days and nights grew colder and colder by just knowing that he is right across the food court from her…watching…waiting for her to leave her cave so he can poke fun at her. He awaits her movement as a cat would watch and shake its behind vigorously until its final pounce has been made upon a fly. But like a fly, Harper thinks fast, and as a cat, well, Asher will try and try again until he catches it.

Wait, a cat…a cat. Suddenly Harper remembered her little day dream she had a moment ago. It made no sense to her and it confused the hell out of her. "I don't even understand that old English language", she thought to herself laughing. She felt a little stupid. A Noble Cat? What?

Harper looked at herself in the small doubled mirror on the Avon counter; the mirror where is has the normal side and then the other has the mirror where you get see your nasty ache and eye gunk zoomed in. She saw her purple bangs being indecisive of which side of her face to stay on, her purple hair beginning to fade to blue as it reached the bottom of her choppy layers, and her eyes, her emerald blue eyes which haven't changed at all since she was small. She loved her eyes. They were her favourite feature about herself. They were very round and large and her pupils were like black specks. She never understood why her pupils were so small, but she loved it.

As she began to drift off into Noble Cat land again, she heard someone being shot over and over and over again. She heard the sound of blood splashing on the ground and children screaming. She heard bombs explode and hundreds of people cry for help as they were bleeding profusely from their lost limbs burning in a fiery pit.

Nah, she actually heard someone say her name. Harper looked up feeling like there was a bag of wet salt on her head and noticed him. Spiky hair that faded from brown to bright blonde pointed at her like a thousand knives. A silver chained necklace of a sword hung from his grey V-necked shirt, and she could see the curving of his small biceps through his tight, black, long-sleeved undershirt. Her stomach dropped.

"Um…Do you have some cream…" Asher asked, "..that makes you less ugly?" Harper rolled her neck in a circular motion to crack it and responded, "Suck it, Ass-er".

"Ohh…I'm just.." Asher mimicked Harper's neck rolling. "..too cool" he rolled his neck again, "to answer your question." Trying to open her on-the-go milk bottle, Harper glared at Asher and then tried to ignore him. Then she sighed and looked at him.

"If you would at least try to ask me a serious question, I would respond to you." Harper rolled her eyes and poked a green bendy straw through the foil on the lid of the milk bottle. Asher then cleared his throat and said, "Fine."

He stood up straight and grinned. "I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat?" He said in a fail attempt of Napoleon Dynamite's voice. Harper shot a stern look at him.

"Heh, 'cause you are. You really need to lo-" SPLASH! Asher didn't even have the time to finish his sentence. Harper had shot a straw-full of milk directly on Asher's face. Milk dripped from his scrunched up mouth down onto the Avon counter. He calmly chuckled and reached for the tissues on the counter with his eyes still shut. Harper nudged the tissue box slightly farther away from him every time he would try and grab it. He began to get irritated. Then out of nowhere, Harper's boss ran up and snatched a tissue out of the box and began to wipe off Asher's face. Harper quietly stood up and reached for the paper towels to clean up the milk on the counter before her boss noticed.

"HARPER BROOKES!"

Too late. The five-ton woman with horrifying red hair and red lipstick had caught her.