i wanna be the one to walk in the sun
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All Santana ever really wanted was to be famous.
Even when she was a little girl, she told her parents she was going to be known all over the world and they thought it was just a phase, it would pass and she'd grow up and have a real dream. A dream of being a doctor or having a family or going to college, something realistic.
When she about seventeen her dreams faded (just a little).
She broke her parents' hearts by telling them her dreams were still the same - she didn't want to go to college or study or waste her life - she wanted to be someone.
She crushed their hearts by telling them she was gay.
They accepted her for who she was, loved her still, but it wasn't the same. Every parents wishes for their children to be happy, but they also wish for a big wedding and grandchildren and for their kid to be normal, and Santana couldn't give them that.
She went on though, fought her way through all of it (the pain and the sadness and some moments even the self-hatred), refused a cheerleading scholarship and went to New York. The city who never sleeps was the place for her. The place where she was going to pursue her dreams.
It was nothing she had dreamed of for all of those years. No producer who just had to have her when he heard her sing, no director who needed her and only her because she was that special, no photographer who couldn't get her out of his mind because she was one in a kind.
Her and girlfriend, her first love (soulmate, best friend, her someone) so to speak, they didn't last and she broke (into tiny little unfixable pieces). Some people said she cried a lot, and she guessed that was true, but now, this time, she just felt numb. She couldn't eat or sleep or even talk for days.
After a while, when months passed and life passed and the snow was sticking to the ground, she finally found the courage to get back into the game, but the people were still there.
(In Lima, she was the infamous mean girl, but here - girls (and boys and directors and waitresses and even old ladies on the street) were horrible, vicious even.)
She held onto that dream, though, because it got her here and she wasn't just going to back down. She wasn't just anyone, after all. She was Santana Lopez.
She auditioned and auditioned and worked three part-time jobs to give herself a small, expensive, smelly apartment and she wouldn't let herself give up.
She auditioned for dance clubs, for movies, for modeling agencies, for record companies - basically anything that could make her known.
Then one day, in the middle of her shift at coyote ugly, she finds out she won a singing contest and she was placed in a all girls group.
The girls were all very different, born and raised in New York and she didn't really know how to deal with all of it - them and the pressure and the constant bitching about who was better (she was, wasn't it obvious? but sometimes even she forgot that).
They pushed her in the back of all the promotion pictures and all they let her do was sway in the background and they wouldn't give her any solos, but she was still Santana Lopez. If she was going to become famous, it wasn't going to be as some kind of back-up singer.
One night while she is walking home from her second job after a night shift tired and hungry, she runs into a guy. He told her she was pretty, and special and he heard her sing at coyote ugly and thought it was pure magic.
Her dream finally came true. She was famous.
Her name was everywhere. Her picture was everywhere. She made it. She actually made it.
When her mother found out about it in the paper, she cried. Even her grandmother did, she cried, while she had banished Santana from her life along time ago. Her father cut out the article in the paper and hung it on the fridge.
He stared at everyday, partly taking the credit for it all - for letting her go to New York.
'Santana Lopez identified as third victim of the '43. caliber' serial killer'
All Santana ever really wanted was to be famous.
And now she was.
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some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world
