A/N Hey guys, this fic came to me after a few Sunday drinks and I typed it on my phone, so please forgive any mistakes that I am sure there are!

Disclaimer- I have nothing to do with revolution except what my imagination stirs up!

"So what your plans of bringing back the republic have crumbled! You're still alive, you have your son and some how you even managed to get you best friend back so stop moping about like some whiny teenager!"

Since we returned from Austin all I see are miserable faces. They are alive and have their nearest and dearest by their side, they may have lost some but life is for living not continuously grieving.

Monroe looked up at me with an amused shocked expression on his face.

I lost Jason, my first love so to speak, I lost him in a cruel way but yet I didn't drown my sorrows with whiskey, I didn't lock myself in a room, didn't go crazy or cationic, I didn't try to kill everyone, I just came home and tried to get back to normal.

Everyone was getting on my nerves sitting with faces on them that looked liked they lost their right hands, I turned to my mother

"You need to stop moping and complaining about killing people, it's killed or be killed around here. Stop hating on Monroe and his kid because Danny and dad is gone, stop making Miles feel as if he has to chose between you and his best friend and stop looking at me as if you don't recognise me, I am still your daughter, I've just adapted to the world we live in"

I didn't even break a sweat before I moved on to miles

"And Miles please stop treating my mother as if she is as fragile as glass, she's the toughest woman I know, she can handle it. You need to sort it out with Monroe, it may not be perfect but it is better than nothing, no matter what has happened between you both, you are brothers, shit has happened, mistakes have been made and we can all see that no matter what, you two always seem to be there for each other so sort it out and clear the air"

Finally I reached Connor

"You ... Please stop with the charm, we fucked! That's it, it was good and exactly what I needed, but that's all it was. I don't want a man to look after me, or make sure im okay or buy me flowers. I need someone who I can trust to have my back, to be by my side when it matters, someone that can fight along side me"

I laid my eyes on grandpa the only one who hasn't annoyed me. And gave him a small reassuring smile, at this stage everyone was looking at me as if I was growing a second head. I took a few seconds to catch my breath, my heart almost beating through my chest. Then I walked out leaving them all sitting there with their mouths open, and walked straight into town not caring if I ran into the patriots.

I made my way to the make shift bar and sat the few diamonds I had at the hands of the bar man telling him to leave the bottle with me, I poured a glass and gulped it, loving the burning sensation as it went down my throat.

Jason you bastard, you came into my life when I didn't want a complicated emotional roller coaster ride that completely changed how I saw things. The time I had with you was rushed and I couldn't enjoy it because I was worried about Danny. And now your gone, now that i'm settled in one town. I may be fighting a new battle, but now is as good a time as any for a relationship. So well done you came and you turned my life upside down, you broke threw my walls ... And now your the reason im putting them up, never to be taken down again.

I don't know how many glasses I have had I don't even care, but I can see the bar emptying and I know it's time to close, but I'm not going back to that house, not going back to see their miserable faces. I took my bottle and stumbled my way to a field out side of town, I sat under the stars and continued drinking with my back propped against a tree.

I could hear footsteps coming behind me, I don't no if they are enemy or friend but I don't care, I'm enjoying this time to myself, where I can feel sorry for myself with out the onlookers.

The bottle was lifted out of my hand, and I could hear a loud gulp, then the grass ruffled beside me as the intruder made themself comfortable

"Quite the little show you put on back their Charlotte"

I held my hand out for the bottle which he gladly returned

"What do you want Monroe?"

"Believe it or not I don't want anything. Your mother went off on one, ranting about how we are going about this whole 'kill-every-patriot-we-see' thing wrong and I couldn't listen to her any more, so I came for a walk. Finding you is a happy coincidence"

I looked over to see him pull out his own bottle of whiskey from his pack

"Happy indeed"

I took another swig, perfectly happy to remain in silence. He put his bottle beside mine, which caused me to look up at him in confusion

"To Jason"

I hit my bottle of his and repeated his words, both of us toasting him.

"Charlotte ..."

"No feelings or emotional bullshit please, I really don't think I can take it"

He chuckled

"What about facts?"

I just looked at him and raised my eye brow

"Your mother loves you, fact. Miles and your grandpa loves you, fact. Your a tough girl, fact. You've been threw a lot of shit, fact. You've lost a lot of people you love, fact. You're as stubborn as your mother, fact. But you are not alone, fact."

I looked at him

"That's the problem, I'm never alone I always have someone looking over my shoulder, breathing down my neck ... I can't get any time to myself, we are either killing or trying not to be killed, or in some life or death situation we get out of one and then head first into another. "

"So you want time to yourself? That's the answer to your problems?"

"Haven't figured that out yet, hoping i'll find the answer at the bottom of this bottle!"

He laughed, a laugh that made me look at him

"Trust me kid, the answer is not at the bottom of that bottle, or any other bottle for that matter"

"You would know?"

I turned my self to face him, crossed my legs and rested my elbows on my knees.

"Yeah I do."

That was it, all he was willing to say and I respected that. Neither if us wanted to go into our real thoughts.

"You're an asshole, fact. You have power issues, fact. You need to share that bottle because mine's empty, fact"

We both laughed, and it felt good. He held the bottle towards me but when I went to take it he pulled back

"On one condition"

"There's always one condition. What is it?"

He looked me dead in the eye

"Talk to me Charlotte"

I didn't pull my hand back I let it stay there, I held eye contact with him trying to figure out what game he has going. Fuck it. Give a little take a little, I talk he talks.

"That works both ways Sebastian"

Sebastian saying his full name and saying it without anger felt weird, it felt strange and new most of all it felt good That right there is a clear sign that I should get up and walk away, but as Monroe said i'm like my mother too stubborn even when it comes to my inner thoughts.

"Okay, deal"

He handed me the bottle, and it did not escape my attention that our fingers touched, I don't know if it was my intention or his but there was defiantly enough space on that bottle for our hands not to touch.

"So what you wanna talk about?"

"Memories"

"Memories? You want to sit here and reminse about good old times?"

He nodded, so of course my eye brows continued the conversation

"Earliest memory?"

He asked, I took a swig and passed the bottle back. Unimportant memories that is how this is going to go,

"Driving with Miles in his car, a rock song playing, can't remember the name. It was late evening and we drove for hours. He was home on leave ... And ...and ..."

"I was in the back, the song was AC/DC. It was our last day home before returning to base"

The memory seemed clearer than ever, he was right, he sat in the back acting like a bigger child than me, I was roughly 3 or 4 years old. I asked him the same question in return, he scratched his head in response. Thought for a few seconds then answered

"Also with Miles. We were in some park and the older kids came over and started pushing us around, that didn't end well ... For them. We where young but fast and managed to run them into a trap"

His eyes looked past me, he wasnt here he was back there, with a big smile on his face, a childish smile.

My turn

"As a child what did you want to be when you grew up?"

He hesitated, and if i'm not mistaken that was a blush creeping up his cheeks

"And it has to be true ... This was your idea. What we say here tonight stays here"

He looked at my sincerity and it must have been clear as he answered.

"I grew up in a happy house, with wonderful parents. They where young and in love and made life look easy. Then came my sisters and everything got better, I wanted for a short while to be a dentist ..."

And I burst out laughing. He looked at me with a sulky expression

"Hi don't laugh ... Im being open and honest here!"

I held my hands up as my giggles started to die down

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry"

He had a small smile as he continued

"...anyway as I said I wanted to be a dentist for a short while, but as I grew up and saw how my parents loved eachother my mind changed, since that moment I wanted to be a ... a ... I wanted to be a good husband and a father"

The only thing that stopped me from laughing was the absolutely devastated look on his face.

"Then why do you look so heartbroken?"

"That's not how it works, my go"

I huffed, he had grabbed my attention with the words husband and father. No matter how hard I try it is impossible to imagine it, even with conor around and I know they are family I still don't see it, the only time you see them act like father and son is when they fight, they connect when they are killing people, that is how they bond.

I took a drink and waited for his question.

"You're last memory before the blackout?"

I had to think, I was older but my memories from that time are muddled

"It's not really before the blackout more the night of the blackout. Ice-cream, we ate loads of ice-cream, we had to before it all melted. It tasted so good, I can still remember how creamy it was, mom told me to remember, that I would never taste it again."

It was pleasant, being able to think about the good and the happy in the middle of all the pain and heartbreak, it was an unexpected conversation with an unexpected person, but I welcomed in none the less.

"What I would give to taste ice-cream again. You know I took it for granted back then, it cured every hang-over I ever had."

That gave me an idea for the next question

"Worst hangover you've ever had?"

He had an amused expression but he decided to answer me anyway

"Honestly? They have all been pretty bad! But I will tell you this, my most satisfying hangover was after a stag party, it was a fellow marine and we went to this nightclub. There was hen party in the same place and I managed to get of with the hen"

He had a shit eating grin on his face, which I couldn't understand. My confusion must have been pretty clear.

"A stag party is when the groom has one last night out as a free man, one night where he can go out, get drunk and hit a strip club without feeling guilty, it's the same for a hen party it's a night out for both to celebrate the end of single life."

"So the stag is the groom and the hen is the bride?"

I asked and he nodded

"and on this stag party you got off with a bride? As in a woman who was enaged to be married? And you slept with her knowing she was with someone?"

I couldn't believe it, he sat across from me with a proud and gloating smile on his face.

"and you dont see what is wrong with that?"

"Think of it this way I saved that man from a life of heart ache, if she really loved him it wouldnt have happened!"

He was right, but it still didn't excuse the fact that is was a bad thing to do.

"You are unbelievable Sebastian Monroe! I mean you're a home wreacker"

I laughed along with him

"One thing you wanted that you could never have?"

That could mean so many different things, so I went with the first one that came to mind

"Family. All together at the one time"

My answer quickly killed the light mood that we had going.

"What about you?"

He looked at me, conflict in his eyes, trying to decide to tell me what he was really thinking.

"The one thing I want that I can never have, would be Connor's childhood memories"

Right then I saw past the mask, the tough exterior he had going, he was just a man. A man who missed out on his kids childhood.

"Wow thats pretty deep. And this is pretty weird. You and me sitting here together, alone in the middle of the night with a bottle of whiskey and sharing secrets"

He nodded

"I told you before Charlotte, I have done a lot of bad shit, shit I want to make up for. I think that letting someone in could be the only way to redeem myself, even just a little bit, if you can see another side to me that means there is one person who hates me a little less"

"Yeah you have done a lot of bad shit, some of which you can't be forgiven for. No matter how many secrets you tell me Danny and my father will always be in the back of my mind. It will take more than some secrets and a bottle of whiskey for me to see you differently, but I know there is more to you, that somewhere behind all that hard exterior is a man who can be good, who can redeem himself if it's what he really wants. Just don't expect it to happen over night, you have a lot to make up for"

The bottle was getting empty and soon we would have to head back, then this, all the deep thoughts will be over, buried deep in our minds again and we'll go back to getting on each others nerves, but this right now? This means that we both know that there is a chance for his redemption.

"I know, but things are different. I have a son, and he needs a father that can show him the way, I want to be able to do that. I will get the republic back and it will be different. I wants Miles back by my side where he belongs, and for that I will show everyone who doubts me that I can be an honorable man."

"You do that."

He smiled and changed topic again, I told him I didn't want to talk feelings an emotional and I guess that's what we are doing, but it feels easier to talk it out with him. Knowing that like me he keeps everything bottled up, it means that on some level he trusts me and I trust him, and that's a big deal.

"Earlier, when you exploded and gave everyone a piece of your mind, you told Connor that you didn't want anything with him, that you wanted someone to have your back. He can do that, he can be what you need him to be ... He ..."

He was finding it hard to say what he wanted, it was like he was saying something he should say, not what he wanted to say

"...he's a good kid. I told him I wanted him to be happy to find a girl and have a family. I told him to pick anyone but you. I see how you behave, you have no hope, you have no big plans for your future and I didnt want him to love you, and try to make you happy, because he would try but it wouldn't work..."

He was still struggling

"...give him a chance Charlotte, give yourself a chance. You could be happy, have something to live for, it could give you hope. What I am trying to say is, your a great girl, strong, brave and fearless. You deserve to be loved, to be shown that you matter, that someone would give their life for you"

I laughed

"Are you seriously giving me relationship advice?"

He smiled

"It seems that I am."

We both finished the bottle, and sat in silence for a few moments

"Charlotte, I 'm sorry about Jason. I know he meant a lot to you, and that things where difficult for you both. I know it's hard to lose someone you love, and when I say that I don't mean family, I mean someone that you chose to love, to let them in, in ways you wouldn't let anyone else in. It will get better I promise, just don't start a militia with your best friend, then turn into a paranoid power hungry man losing all he cares about."

He chuckled as he finished, I nodded. We would both leave here knowing something personal about the other, knowing that if we wanted too we could form a friendship, emphasis on the 'if we wanted too'.

Jason is gone and he's not coming back, it hurts and I know it will continue to hurt for some time, but I dont have to let it bring me down, this time with Monroe, those happy memories we talked about, its just what I needed, enough to keep me from spiraling. A little push in the right direction. My head shot towards him

"You did come to find me, you knew I was hurting over Jason. The memories, it was all to make me remember happier times and realise that there is more to come"

He was putting the empty bottle back in his pack

"Did it work?"

I smiled

"It did. Thank you Sebastian"

Again saying his full name without anger brought that same satisfying feeling.

"Bass ...! Please, if your going to call me anything but Monroe please call me Bass, the only time I got my full name was when my mother was angry at me!"

I nodded

"Then I guess you can drop the Charlotte and call me Charlie, now that we are in the spirit of being civil"

He stood up and put his hand towards me, the offer of help if I want it. Maybe I am making too much of a big deal of this but it felt like an unspoken offer of him promising to be here for me, for another midnight drink and some secret spilling should I feel that it's what I need. I silenced my over active thlights and I took it, a sign that what we talked about was not forgotten.

We started the walk home, a comfortable silence hanging between us.

As we approached the farm house I turned to face him

"Tomorrow we are back to the way we where, we forget that we have made an alliance so to speak. If there is one thing I want to keep to myself it's this. I appreciate that you looked out for me and took the time to track me down to make sure I was okay, I guess this makes us secret friends"

It felt childish, but I knew that it would only cause more trouble if my mother was to find out.

"Really? Secret friends?"

I nodded

"I need to try and sort things with my mom, there is enough bad stuff between us at the minute without adding this to the pile"

"Okay, secret friends it is then"

We both nodded and finished the short walk into the house, and went our seperate ways to our own rooms.

A/N So there you go guys ... Again sorry for any mistakes. Reviews would be great!

Thanks

Love2bdifferent x