Behind the Lines
Part One: Caught by a shadow
Call me stupid, vain, annoying, obsessed, whatever you like, but I was in love with him. No one thought so, everyone just said, "Oh there's that girl who's obsessed with Harry Potter, she's annoying." I endured it and kept trying to get him to see me. My friends didn't really help as much as they thought they had.
The thing is, I was caught by a shadow and a whisper of someone I kind of knew I'd never have. I wanted the one thing I couldn't touch, and that was Harry. He was everything I had ever dreamed of in a person, handsome, chivalrous to a fault, handsome, good at magic, smart, single, good at quiddich, popular, handsome…
I fell in love from a distance, watching as he kissed that Ravenclaw and even Ginny. I couldn't quite find it in my heart to hate her for it, though; Ginny was nice. I can't pretend it didn't hurt. And when he went to the dance with Lovegood… That one hurt even worse.
The chocolate cauldrons, they were a dare. I didn't actually expect him to fall for it. If he did, then I don't think I would have been able to stand it. I couldn't have just taken what I could get, no, if he doesn't love me himself, then I suppose he shouldn't love me at all.
So don't say I've never made any sacrifices.
I almost—almost—joined the DA last year, but for some reason, I don't think I would have been able to pull it off. I'm not really particularly good at magic, and I somehow doubt that You-Know-Who is going to come after someone like me. Besides, I wouldn't have been able to concentrate, not with Harry there to distract me the whole time.
Still, even though I knew I'd never have him, I wish I could. He's more like a dream, a sort of far-off fantasy. I kind of wish that maybe You-Know-Who would kidnap me or something and Harry would rush to my rescue and fall madly in love with me and take me away to someplace far away where You-Know-Who doesn't exist and, I dunno, marry me? Make passionate love to me?
I'm getting ahead of myself…
I was in love with him, though. But he didn't see love, he saw an annoying girl who followed him like a sick puppy, dreaming rather than hoping he'd love her back.
I loved him.
