Insanity

His eyes were filled with sadness. It was visible to everyone. Sadness, fear, tiredness... The thought of holding a gun for his head, had occurred to him often, but he had never done anything about it. Even though his head was about to crack.
Almost everything, led him to the suicide path... But he knew he couldn't bail out on his brother. He needed him here, and not in heaven. So he shut his mouth on the hunts, and tried to smile... But on the inside he was screaming.
He tried to stay upright for his brother, tried to keep up with everything, but behind the fake smiles, was a man who was closer to break than he had ever been before. And even the urge to just give up it all, to just run somewhere far away from everything, was enough to make the tears fall silently at night.
There was a hollow despair hidden deep within him threatening to break out of its flimsy confines of insanity and blood lust and Hunting and family and consume his whole front inside out. It was a void, there had been with him for a while now. And he couldn't take it anymore. It was too much for him to bear...
He wanted to be that strong and clever man he had always been, but he had realized that he never would be the same again. He would always be stuck in this meat suit, and always stuck in this narrow place he called his head. He would never be the same man again...
He had given up long ago. And people around him knew that they were losing him. His silent moments with his ears covered told them so. They wanted him to keep on fighting. But wanting just isn't enough, when the person you want to save, just doesn't have the spirit anymore.