I've been so numb, for the last four hours in my bed. And out of all the nights, tonight's the night my mind overtakes me. It had been two years now that he had left and I haven't seen him since. Not him or his family. I've actually been putting it out of my head, but I"m quickly losing sanity. Not even Jacob could cure this, with his heartwarming presence.

How was I supposed to go on wiht my life knowing what we had and what we did. I wasnt. There had to be a subsitution for this equation. And that was why I was going to do something entirely stupid and recklace.

Well for me, it was worth it.

I would fly to another tiny town in Arkansas named Lossonville. I was taking a risk, randomyly searching rainy and unpopulated areas but I had a feeling about this. My dream actually triggered this, so I'm going to take my own unconsious advice. If me dreams had helped me before, why not now?

And that is probably the reason I feel so bad tonight. Charlie wouldn't know and either would Renee'. I told Charlie that Renee' wanted me to come home for Thanksgiving and he said it would be fine because Billy could keep him company. Renee's out of reach for thanksgiving. She's somewhere in the adirondacks, with no cell phone service. Her and Phil would be having a good time and so would Billy and Charlie. It was perfect.

I couldnt sleep, no matter what. I had a numbness of anticipation,exitment, aprehensiveness, and deep sadness.

Tomorrow is the day-and I know it- that everything changes.

AN- Sorry it's a short chapter but there will be lots more. I wanna give a shoutout: I'm so happy and thrilled with the twilight series. It's awesome and I cant wait for the movie. I cant live with the fact that Edward really isnt real but I wish he was so badly because, it seems like there arent any guys really like him ( not just that he is a vampire lol). When reviewing, be sure to tell me your ideas for famous people who you think should be in he cast of Twilight.

To be continued: Chapter 2 up next.