This isn't a fanfic. Or... It is. Or.. You know what? How about you decide?
Ever watch a cartoon, see a character or two with a mom but no dad? Ever wonder who that father could possibly be and why we never see him? Phineas and Ferb could possibly be the only cartoon that does show, know, and NOT connect who Phineas Flynn's father is... Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz! *BUM BUM BUM!*
BUT WAIT!
HOW COULD THIS BE?
Well let's start with a plausible storyline that could perhaps explain this sudden accusation of genetics.
We all know Heinz was married to Charlene and they had Vanessa. We also know that Heinz and Charlene are divorced. But we never learned WHY or WHAT happened afterwards. No backstories, no hints other than Charlene commenting, "We just wanted different things." (Charlene Doofenshmirtz from "Ice cream, You scream"). So let's take a step back in Danville's history to when Heinz was say.. in his later twenties and married to Charlene. At this point, he was probably a bratwurst seller and money was most likely tight. Fights would occour and a year after Vanessa's birth, divroce would've been announced and Heinz would be upset by the whole ordeal. Being a stupid, careless, 20-something adult, he'd most likely go out and get himself drunk because of the feud and only being bale to see Vanessa every other weekend. By this time, Linda Flynn would be Lindana and most likely in the midst of her Diva Tantrum. With a tantrum and 20-something year olds, there's bound to be some alchohol. With two drunken idiots at the same time, bad things are bound to happen. Heinz and Linda would have Candace at this point and would already be planning on a marriage since Heinz is divorced. But never telling of WHY he was drunk, Heinz would be keeping his visits with Vanessa a secret still such a time that Phineas was being expected (accidentally) and would rush to the hospital hearing the news when Vanessa was with him. Questioning the young girl, tagging along with Heinz, Linda would think her husband-to-be would be cheating on her (or something on the lines) and probably place a restraining order on Heinz (or she worked hard on making sure he never saw Candace and whoever their newborn would've been) and so for the last 10 years, Heinz never saw who the newborn would be and never knew what happened to Linda and Candace.
BUT WAIT! (Again!)
While Heinz had revealed to Perry that he and Linda had dated BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL, he said he didn't see her ever again! How could he have possibly seen Linda AGAIN?
The answer is simple! LIEING! Heinz could have lied to Perry in utter embarrassment about his later affairs.
BUT! (Man how much trouble is there gonna be with this? (A LOT! XP))
WHAT on Earth do I have to support such a wild accusation? Sure, Linda and Heinz MIGHT (very slim of a chance but still) MIGHT have done something like that but where's the proof we can SEE?
THAT requires a little attention to detail. First let's look at the obvious family we all know; the Doofenshmirtzes. Yes, I mean from Heinz's great grandma Greta to his daughter Vanessa.
As most of you who are taking the time to read this might know, families tend to have traits that run through them. Not traditions or "the family nose" or something but also mental and emotional characteristics that last for generations even if it doesn't immeadiately show up in the generation right after.
Now with that in mind, let's look back at Greta Doofenshmirtz. With what Heinz had told us about her, Greta had some "issues" and seems to have a nasty temper considering the fact that she has a death-glare in her photos, a knife stabbed into her meatloaf, and created said meatlaof with hate (which must take a lot of hate in order to taste so good).
Not a whole lot has been noticed about Jose Doofenshmirtz other than he has something to do with Mexcians which Heinz lables as a "weird story" and has a lot of the same facial features as Heinz.
Going down the line to Heinz's mother, we don't have a strong idea of what she's like but it is apparent she carries the long and pointy family nose such as her grandmother. It's possible we don't know much about her as it being a custom for a woman to not be noticed when and where Heinz grew up. She seems to keep quiet unless talking directly to Heinz and appears as more of a trophy wife to Heinz's father than as someone to really get to know like Vanessa or Charlene.
Down to Heinz, we see that he tends to have a nasty temper to things , has the family nose, a triangular-shaped head, long neck, and tends to hate a lot of stuff as would be expected with his terrible childhood. In his later years as an adult, he's shown to be rather quick on his feet (not coordinated but fast) and rather flexible, as proven with his numerous fights with Perry. He's also mentioned he's very coordinated with his hands, holds the world's cup-stacking title, and builds inventions day upon day as shown with every episode of Phineas and Ferb.
Heinz's brother, Roger, on the other hand doesn't seem to have any emotional turmoil like his bother and great grandmother. Instead he seems to be self-confident and rather cocky. Perhaps something he had developed from his father being recognized more than Heinz in his childhood and given whatever he wanted. He has the nose though it's not nearly as long as his brother's and tends to have a slightly bulkier body than Heinz.
Looking between Heinz's grandparents, parents, himself, and Roger, I'd like to take a moment and point out physical relations between the families. Aside from long pointy noses from Mrs. Doofenshmirtz's side (with a little help from her hubby), Mrs. Doofenshmirtz and Heinz both seem to have a similar shaped head where as Roger tends to take more of his father's rectangular like head. Though Roger had very well developed his mother's weight where as Heinz remains scrawny and thin much like his father. Heinz also carries more features from his grandfather Jose with his neck, nose, head shape, and thin body than his brother and also tends to have a nasty temper maybe with some help from Greta. I wanted to point these bits out for reasons, later to be brought up.
Then that brings us to Heinz's more immediate family as an adult, Charlene and Vanessa.
Charlene, as very well known, is very rich and seems to like to give the benefit of the doubt to Heinz and whatever reasons it may be that he left her. ("Your father's not evil. We just wanted different things.") Not much is shown about her so there's little information gathered. She has met Linda before in cooking class but of their friendship, also little information.
Vanessa Doofenshmirtz tends to be very skeptical, suspicious, and somewhat mean-tempered with how quickly she gets mad at her father as she tries to bust him to her mother. She's very agile and flexible as shown in the music video "I'm Me" in the episode "Vanessesary Roughness" but much like her mom, doesn't say as much as her father.
Again, I'd like to pause and take a look at physical and mental similarties between Vanessa and her biological parents. As obviously noted, hair colors have carried on perfectly throughout the entire Doofenshmirtz family-tree. Brown heads all the way. Even with Charlene's darker color. But aside from hair colors, Vanessa has Charlene's eyes and neck, but has her father's tall figure, agility, and flexibility as I have previously mentioned. See the genetic spreads?
Okay okay, so it's nice we get to see exactly what proof there is that Heinz is related to everyone in his more obvious family. Now how is he related to Phineas?
Well now that we've seen that, let's take a good look at Linda, Phineas, and Candace and their own genetic make-up.
Looking through the Phineas and Ferb episodes, we know that Linda isn't very aware of Phineas and Ferb's inventions no matter how obvious they are to her. There are even times she'll see them and not call on them for it either for unknown reasons or because she mistakes it for something else ("Mom's Birthday" and "Bully Code"). Physically she's an obvious red-head with normally half-lidded eyes much like Charlene, Vanessa, and Candace. A slightly curved head witha pointed end like an upside down raindrop. There's nothing else physicaly much noticeable about this woman. Mentally she tends to have a sunny-disposition on life and, while obviously blinded to what her kids are up to, tries to be encouraging to her kids. We've also come to notice that inventions of any sort tend to slightly freak her out. Like Doof's De-loveinator that crash landed in her front yard ("What do it do?") and any number of Phineas and Ferb's inventions that she's actually caught them making (Except for in "Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo" when she was older and didn't really show much of anything except slight surprise.). This is most likely because of when she dated Heinz in highschool and he tried to use an invention that ended up blowing up the drive-in movie theatre and ruining their date.
Down to Candace, Linda's oldest. Many many people mention throughout the series, she has a long skinny neck and as noticed in "Hail Doofania", she doesn't really seem to have as much of a chest as Vanessa does. She does have red hair though it's a few shades lighter than Linda's and Phineas'. Candace is mentally obssessed with busting her brothers and has shown true determination, agility, and incredible flexibility to get as far as she can to busting them which is very well shown in "Phineas' Birthday Clip-o-Rama".
Phineas, the youngest born in the Flynn family, is smart, somewhat clueless (like when Isabella tries desperately to catch his attention or Candace throws a threat about busting him and Ferb to Linda), and is very optimistic. It's rare we ever see Phineas become mad or depressed as he's normally the one who holds onto hope in the darkest circumstances and looks at the best side of almost everything. Physically he's not shown to be very fast other than with his hands when working on a project. Not very flexible like his sister or never that we've seen so far. Everyone mentions his triangular shaped head and he has messy red hair. He also tends to hunch over a bit when he casually stands where as most other people tend to stand more upright.
NOW to point out similarities between Heinz, Linda, Candace, and Phineas. Ferb can not be a part of this matter since he's a Fletcher and was adopted into the family as a step-brother/son.
So between Linda, Candace, and Phineas, we see that they all have red hair with Candace's being slightly lighter colored. Candace's hair tends to shape somewhat similarly to her mom's with the outward sweep at the bottom while as Phineas' tends to look a bit more like Heinz's. Messy. Also a connection between Phineas and Linda is the fact that they're both cheerful and clueless at the same time. As I'm sure you might've noticed by now, I've mentioned repeatedly that Heinz has a long skinny neck much like Candace. You may ask why I mention it but look carefully at him when he's wearing something like...just his boxers. If you notice, without his turtleneck, his neck's actually pretty darn long. Again, Heinz's head is triangular shaped as shown within other means of his family line and Phineas' isn't very different while Candace has a more roundish shape like her mother's. Also I'd like to point out that Phineas' hunch is like Heinz's slouch. Coincidence? I definitely don't think so. And another thing, I've mentioned Candace's hair was lighter colored than Linda's which could be due to a taint in her hair color from Heinz's strong side of brown haired people. And also I'd like to mention that Phineas builds things everyday. He creates dozens of blueprints and unless he's been zapped with a Boring-and-Dullinator, he gets it all done in record time much like Heinz and his inators. Even as a kid Heinz has proven he has had a great interest with building things ("Unfair Science Fair"). Finally I'd like to mention that with Heinz's impressive coordination with his hands, Candace has just as much if not slightly more of it. "Ooh! I just felt a disturbance in the cupstacking universe... I think my record's been broken!" ~Heinz Doofenshmirtz in "Thaddeus and Thor", reffering to Candace stacking up cans quickly so she could show her mom what her brothers are up to in the backyard.
Now all I've mentioned so far in the relationship is Heinz, Linda, Candace, and Phineas' similarities. But what about Vanessa, Candace, and Phineas?
Well unfortunately there's not much resemblence between Vanessa and Phineas other than their slightly more normally bodily formed than most other characters. Candace and Vanessa however tend to share a similar mental attitude. Skeptism, quick to get angry, and all about busting someone or another. With Vanessa it's her dad and fortunately for her, she isn't too crazy about it where as Candace has gone slightly insane from the stress of busting her brothers. Physically, the only same thing about them is the outward sweep in their bangs which may or may not have something to do with Heinz. And all three, Vanessa, Candace, and Heinz had all shown skillful agility and flexibilty in things they have done. Vanessa with "Vanessesary Roughness", Candace greatly in "Phineas' Birthday Clip-o-Rama", and Heinz with just about every battle he's had against Perry. Sadly, Phineas has no share in these talents as far as we've seen.
Now I know the idea of Heinz being drunk and knocking up Linda while she's in the middle of her Diva Tantrum doesn't sound like it would really happen. And maybe I'm stretching it a bit far with these similarities between people but think of it like this. Take a good look at everyone in the Johnson family. Jeremy, Susy, his mom and dad... Then take a look at Candace's future SON Xavier ("Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo")! Blond hair? Bright blue eyes? Yes, it's very clear that Candace grows up to marry Jeremy. And if you can believe that by merely looking at Candace's future children, why would it be very hard to believe it with Heinz and Phineas? Okay, maybe they weren't drunk. Who knows? The point I'm trying to bring to you here is that given the evidence from what we can scrape in the episodes, Heinz Doofenshmirtz could very well be Phineas' biological father. One scenario or another. I know a few people have tried to claim this and I'm here to bring you the facts that could sell this. Argue all you want but just remember, you have family members too. How much of them are you like?
...Also one last thing I want to mention. Taking a good look at Fred, you'll see that he has brown hair and a slight triangular shaped head. Just FYI...
So that's it! As far as I'm concerned, I have fairly well proven Doofenshmirtz and Phineas' relationship! Wow... I wonder what Perry's reaction to an idea like this would be...
Doofenshmirtz: *Breathing heavily.* Phineas... I am your father.
Perry: "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
