Poor Jack! His first day on earth and already he was convinced he needed to be out of it! Poor baby didn't deserve the pains that was brought on him! My heart broke for him when he tried to stab himself and Dean said he would be the one to kill him! I wanted to punch him in the face! He literally just told a baby he would kill him!
Then it occurred to me, what if Lucifer knew, what if he knew what his boy was doing?
And thus this was born!
Jack finds almost immediately that he doesn't need to sleep much, the first night ever he only sleeps what he assumes is close to four hours before he's roaring and ready to go. His first time ever sleeping is not like it was before he was born, it was colder, louder, and he was a bit more restless. Tossing and turning fitfully, the ache of his chest still present even long after the stab wounds had faded away. He curled into himself, an unconscious way of trying to protect himself from a monster that wasn't really there.
His mind was allowed to wander, over the last day, and he dreamed. It was like a show, silent, a repeat of what had just happened, playing again before his very eyes.
He saw himself in the forest, after Dean had tried to shoot him, walking trying to find his father.
Clark showing him what candy was. He liked nougat.
The angels attacking them.
His new friend getting hurt because of him.
Being stabbed and not getting hurt.
Sam and Dean fighting about him.
His tries to hurt himself, and not succeeding, not understanding what he really is.
Dean promising that when he turns bad he'll be there to kill him.
Jack sees it all over and over, but his focus is on the part before, him stabbing the knife repeatedly into his chest and nothing happening. He can almost feel the pain, he can feel the knife as it goes in, sharp and cold, his power may heal him soon after but it doesn't stop him from feeling the pain before it does.
He wants to be good. To do good. To make his father proud.
But the fear that he can't is a heavy one.
Lucifer watches Mary sleep, rolling his eyes at the mere humanness of it, after the day they had and her ever slowing down stride he'd finally given in and turned to find themselves a place to stay for at least the night. So she could rest her poor human eyes.
The cave he found was small, barely big enough to fit the both of them, and even smaller given the little campfire he'd made to keep the human warm.
He massaged his temple slightly, peering down into the orange flickering flames, fatherhood was making him soft.
The Archangel smiled to himself, his boy was there, waiting for him to come back. He was antsy, anxious to meet him, this little nephilim had been the center of his ever shrinking world since he'd first heard his little heartbeat. He needs to get to his boy before something happens to him, before he gets hurt or they try and take him away, before he gets turned against him.
He has no doubts that the Winchesters have his son, and seeing as history is painted by the victor, he had no doubts that they are filling his head with all sorts of nonsense about how evil his father is and what bad he could do.
His boy isn't bad.
The pain and hurt that has made him into the monster he is today, taken his shining heart and morphed it into a jaded shell, that isn't genetic. His son doesn't have to suffer the same pains he has. He won't let him.
Lucifer smiles to himself as he leans back against the cave wall, closing his eyes, and he reaches out slightly, tentatively with his grace. Searching for the bright spark that he'd created. He could see him before, feel him, he was strong, and with practice and training he could do the impossible.
He'd reached for it many times since his creation, and possibly not knowing any better, when he'd been in the woman he'd reached back. Lucifer remembers sitting in that chair, Crowley's virtual lapdog, caressing the small little grace with his own. Cradling it close and trying to be something warm for it. Humming softly when its nerves got the best of it. Humming old enochian lullabies that had once only been reserved for a certain golden winged menace.
They had twined themselves together more then once, and then it stopped, and he was left alone as he searched for his boy.
But now the archangel reached, his grace colder without the warmth of his fledgling within, hoping that he'd perhaps reach back again.
Lucifer sucked in a breath.
"What are you doing?"
Jack spins at the voice, fingers curled around the handle of the knife, moments away from jamming it back into his chest. His eyes travel up the person behind him, unfamiliar in a way, but familiar in another, he doesn't recognize the blonde haired man, pale skin and stubbly chin, but the pale blue eyes that peer into his he remembers.
Briefly.
From before he was born.
The man looks between him and the knife and makes a sound that has a note of disapproval. Slowly he steps forward and Jack finds himself unable to match his stride with a step back, eyes locked on the others, as if his legs have decided that he can't leave this moment. Warm fingers close around his, tugging at the knife, and he pulls it from his grip. Jack looks down slightly, just in time to see the old holes close back up, and the man wraps his free hand around the back of his head.
"My boy?", and that's when he looks back up, surprised and just a little bit unsure, "Why are you doing this?"
"Father?"
Jack wants to back away, he knows who this is now, and his insides twist in fear and anticipation, but he can't move. The fingers are scratching the back of his head and it feels nice, and if he leans into the touch slightly neither of them make any mention of it. This is his father, that's why he recognizes him, "What are you doing here?"
"You reached out. I'm not really here. But I'm here enough."
He looks up into his blue eyes, not able to break the connection now that it was made, and suddenly he feel's so small. Lucifer smiles down at him softly, never thinking he'd ever actually get to see his boy. Jack tilts his head slightly, ignoring the slight tinge of pain, and frowns slightly. He doesn't understand, from what he's read and been told, Lucifer is supposed to be evil.
Darkness incarnate.
"That would be your great aunt actually, little one."
Jack blinks in surprise, Lucifer smiles at him sadly, "What is your name?"
The nephilim looks up at him, his mind whirling, "I'm Jack."
A rough warm thumb brushes over his cheek softly, "Jack?", not the name he would have picked but he likes it. It fits the boy. His boy. Lucifer's eyes flit down to the bloody marks on his white shirt.
"Why are you doing this?", he brushes soft fingers over his young chest and lets his grace wash over the wounds.
Jack looks down, sniffling, Lucifer hums curling his fingers around the back of his neck, and tugs him closer. Jack sniffles and folds into the older man, momentarily letting go of the fears that had been instilled in him. Lucifer falls momentarily stunned when his arms are suddenly full of young nephilim, and he freezes for a breath of a second, but it falls in place naturally and soon he wraps his arms around the small shivering form.
"Father...What am I?"
He looks down at the boy, to his soft hair, he's curled into his shoulder, "You are who ever you want to be."
"And...If I don't want to be evil?"
"Then you won't be. Is that what you think? What they have filled your head with?"
Lucifer shakes his head, tightening his hold on what might be the most purest thing in this universe and the next, well, definitely in the universe he's currently in. His boy wasn't even a week old yet, just born into this world, and this is what they've filled his head with.
"Dean says that Sam believes I can be good but he says that I'm going to be bad and he's going to kill me when I hurt people."
He hasn't hated that Winchester more in his long eternal life then he does now, filling his young head with that nonsense, no wonder this was what he was doing. He's only been in the world for a little over a day and already they've convinced him that he's full of evil.
"Jack, you are not evil, you are not bad, if you don't want to be. You can be anything you want."
"Really?"
The archangel pulls him back slightly, cradling his cheek, and smiling this gentle smile he is not well known for, "Really."
"What if I want to pretend I'm a normal human? Like my mother was?"
Well he certainly hopes he doesn't chose that, seeing as the power he welds at his fingertips, "Then you will live as a human. Though it might be a bit of a difficult spot I think we could manage it."
"Really?", from what he's heard Lucifer hates humans. Wouldn't it be something of an insult for his own son to want to be one. Jack looked up at him with wet eyes.
"Of course."
Lucifer smiles down at him, brushing his cheek again with his thumb, "If that would be what makes you happy. Then we would make it so."
Jack sniffled again and rushed forward, burrowing back into his chest, tears spilling over. This had been his first day ever and it had been the absolute worst. He wanted to stay here forever. In this safety and feeling of protection that he hadn't been offered all day.
"Jack, I'm not going to try and tell you that most of the stories you've heard about me aren't true, but you needn't fear who you are, what you are, the pain and the taint that has made me into the monster I am isn't hereditary, but what you do have is the light and beauty, bright enough to herald in the dawn, so make the most of your gifts little light bringer."
Lucifer rested his chin a top the boys soft hair, "And no more of this okay. No more.", he gestured to the knife on the table. Jack nodded into his chest, breathing in his scent, "Father how are you here?"
"You're dreaming kiddo. Any angel can dream hop. You can too."
He tugged him across the way, "Come on.", They slowly made their way closer to the bed and Lucifer tugged him down with him, curling him into his shoulder, "Close your eyes little one."
"But...but what if I do and you leave. I don't want to be alone again father!"
Jack startled as he was suddenly surrounded by a wall of feathers, "I'm always here for you kiddo. Always. And we will be together again. I promise you."
"Okay father."
"Now go back to sleep."
Jack nodded, turning into the arm under his head, gripping at his shirt as he closed his eyes softly. He felt warm lips press to his forehead but he didn't dare open his eyes.
And sleep overcame him.
Jack woke the following morning, blinking his eyes open slowly, and felt his heart drop when he wasn't greeted with the wall of rose gold plumage. He sat up and rubbed a fist over his eyes, rubbing the sleep away, he startled when something soft rubbed against his cheek and he looked down quickly.
"Wha-?"
His left hand was curled around a large rose gold feather, clutched tightly, and he unfurled his fingers, brushing a fingertip down the soft bristles, and smiled.
Maybe it wasn't just a dream.
"Why are you smiling like that?"
He turned to regard the hunter and waved her question off. It was none of her business anyway.
"Just had a nice dream."
Mary looked at him odd, last she had heard angels didn't dream, but Lucifer wasn't the sharing type and she wasn't going to push it.
He watched her silently as she wandered to the mouth of the cave, before unfurling a single wing, running his fingers over the flight feathers. His fingers lingered on a single bald spot.
A feather was missing.
There is nothing you can do to convince me that Lucifer doesn't care deeply for his son. Poor baby. Just let him have his kiddo guys! I really want Jack and him to meet and Luci be all proud and not sure what to say and GAAAH!
