~*Pragmatism*~
And a friendship crumbles with broken ideals…
~*X*~
Warning: This fic describes the death of Kyoko's family. If blood and such bother you, I encourage you to either not read, or skip past that part.
A week ago.
A single week. Step back seven days, one-hundred-and-sixty-eight hours, one-thousand-and-eighty minutes, or six-hundred-and-four-thousand-eight-hundred seconds.
Just in that short amount of time, not long ago at all certainly, Kyoko had been happily scarfing down food with her family, Mami actually joining them that day, laughing over little, normal things. Back when Kyoko had still attended school, and still prayed every night, and secretly ran off in the evenings to fight for justice with a girl who could generate dozens of guns in the blink of an eye.
…It seemed like an eternity ago.
Though it really wasn't.
That had been before the revelation. Before her cover had been blown. Before her father had witnessed an exhausted Kyoko trying to quietly make her way back to her room after a particularly grueling battle against a Witch. Scraped, bleeding, he had seen her turn back to her casual clothes in a red flash.
So, of course, he had seen her Magical Girl regalia.
She never would have made such a foolish mistake if she hadn't been about to drop from weariness.
Cue a hurried explanation, an attempt at an excuse that had been brushed away. Kyoko had thought, surely, her father would understand? Maybe even be proud of her. She came clean, expecting her kindhearted father to accept what had happened.
Mistake number one.
Instead, his face had become surprisingly still.
He had accused her of using witchcraft—no, no, she was a Magical Girl not a Witch!—and had left without another word…
Kyoko thought that she should go. Give her father some time to cool off; it would all be okay later. So in spite of how she wanted to fall over onto her bed, she made herself head to Mami's place, where she spent the night and a good portion of the morning passed out on the couch.
Mistake number two.
(Mami had put a blanket over her at some point, questioning nothing, content to allow the other to speak when she was ready.)
Kyoko returned home after eating breakfast—brunch?—with Mami, still keeping silent on why she was there. The golden Magi only raised her eyebrows a little but ignored the elephant in the room, so to speak.
She found a gruesome sight.
Pushing open the door, the first thing she noticed was the stench of alcohol. Smelled like wine. Frowning, she glanced around. Wine wasn't a sin of course, it was when one got drunk and what-not when it became an issue…But still, her father or mother or anyone else had never—
Next room.
Another scent swept over her, almost drowning out the alcohol.
Blood.
Kyoko couldn't believe her eyes.
Signs of a struggle were everywhere. Broken vases, red stains on the floor, knocked over furniture. Her eyes immediately slid to the little figure at her feet. She knelt down, almost mechanically.
Momo. Her little sister. There was a bad bruise on her head, someone had knocked her out…and there was a slash across her throat. She didn't even try to pretend to herself that she wasn't dead.
She couldn't even make herself cry. She just stared, horrified. Her gaze moved forward.
Her mother, also dead, but bloody all over. Obviously had put up a fight. Same thing…slashed throat. Death had come quick.
Almost of their own accord, her eyes moved on.
Her father. His bloodied hands had left red marks all across the knife that was thrust into his own throat. The bladed point nearly protruded out the other end. Wine stained his usually flawless suit. He had considerably less injuries than anyone else, only nail scratches…
There wasn't a large sermon today.
It wasn't Sunday. That was when he got the most listeners.
But her father would have begun mass very soon…Under normal circumstances. It was about 10:30 AM. He had begun preaching at different times every day of the week to give those with odd schedules the opportunity to come in.
Kyoko became numb to it all. She crouched there beside her dead little sister, one hand absently pushing her red hair back behind small ears. Momo had been so young…
She couldn't deny what had happened here. The evidence was simple and easy to read, even for someone like her.
Her father…had…
She hung her head and didn't move for a long time.
~*X*~
Mami found her at the arcade.
Kyoko stared with flat eyes at the monitor of the game in front of her, jabbing buttons and moving the control stick without actually being aware of it.
Of course, by now, the story of the mad preacher had spread throughout Mitakihara.
The golden Magi folded her arms. Kyoko didn't look, didn't say anything, she didn't want to see the pity and sorrow in her friend's eyes.
Because, fuck it all, Kyoko had ended up using nearly three Grief Seeds just to clean her Soul Gem in the span of a few hours. She wanted to think about something else other than that, so it wouldn't cloud up again. Even now, the ruby crystal was fogged a little. At least when she fought, it took her mind off of things.
"Kyoko…"
A violent twist of the control stick. "Don't ya even get started, all right? I don't want to talk about it," she spat out.
There was hurt in Mami's eyes, but it wasn't from Kyoko's words. It was because of the fact that the redheaded Puella Magi was obviously in so much pain, but not willing to discuss it.
"Keeping everything bottled up inside…That isn't a wise choice either, Kyoko."
"You're one to talk," came the growled response.
Mami closed her eyes momentarily. "We don't have to discuss it if you don't wish to, but I think it would help you."
Kyoko gave a sudden violent shove of the machine, pushing away from it and whirling on Mami. "Fine," she hissed.
A few people gave Kyoko a surprised or wary glance but continued on. Some didn't even look away from their games, though.
She stormed off, forcing the other girl to keep up or be left behind. Kyoko felt like a mess right now. She didn't want to snap or get angry at Mami, it wasn't her fault and she knew it; that was why she had agreed to talk with her. She was just an emotional disaster…
Safely in an alleyway, where they could be afforded some privacy, Kyoko looked flatly at the other. "What do ya want to know?"
Mami kept calm, as usual, her expression sympathetic but also very stern. It was her "I'm not going to leave you all alone, like it or not" expression. "When did you find out?"
"Soon as I left your place." She turned her head away, glaring at the ground. Her fingers clenched. "They were dead. All of 'em. Killed by my father…I think he was drunk…"
"Kyoko…" Mami looked unsure of what to say, and she tried to put a comforting hand on her shoulder, but Kyoko ducked away from her touch.
"That ain't the worst part. This whole damn thing is my fault…He found out. The night before that, he found out."
"About…About the—"
"Of course about that! Fuckin' hell, I couldn't even…" Kyoko didn't used to have such rough language; she could tell it surprised the other. "I explained. I told 'im everythin'. I didn't think…There wasn't a way to avoid it. And guess what? He called me, and what I did, witchcraft. Ain't that so damn ironic? I thought I'd give 'im time to cool off and…Look what happened. If I had stayed—"
"No," Mami interrupted firmly. "It is not your fault. There was no way you could have known he would have done such a thing."
"So I don't even know my own father?" Kyoko slammed a fist against the brick wall beside her, shoulders hunched. "Fuck…Fuck everythin'…I just…"
Mami looked at a loss for words, or maybe Kyoko was misjudging her and she was opting to stay silent on purpose, because all she did was calmly approach her and—
Hugged her. Pulled her into an embrace.
And for the first time, Kyoko clung to her, broke down, and cried into her shoulder.
~*X*~
She was staying with Mami. That was how those few weeks went before mistake number three occurred. However, she didn't go to school. She just wanted to quietly disappear, to avoid the police, and the girl with illusionary powers now found that she couldn't bring herself to use them.
Or maybe she had lost them.
She wasn't certain anymore, but for whatever reason, she didn't mind it. She didn't need Rosso Fantasma to destroy Witches and Familiars. Her attacks became more brutal as she dedicated herself to hunting during all of her free time. It took her mind off of things.
Mami had to have noticed the change in her. It began to occur slowly, bit by bit, but soon it was consuming the old Kyoko Sakura and replacing her with someone new. Someone harsher, blunter, someone with eyes that were both burning brightly and colder all at once…
She was grateful to the golden Magi, sure. Grateful that she allowed her to live there with her, that they still hunted Witches together in the evening. They were really racking up Grief Seeds, but despite Kyoko's best efforts, her Soul Gem continued to darken faster than it used to. Far faster.
Might've had to do with those nightmares she kept having. Over and over again. Blood, screams, a little girl dead at her feet.
Scenes from something terrible that she hadn't even been present for, but her mind was all too happy to paint it for her against a dark canvas whenever she closed her eyes to try and sleep.
The sun was setting over Mitakihara, causing the sky to turn red. City lights began to come on all at once, as if someone had flicked a light switch. Crouching there on the rooftops, lance slung casually over her shoulders, Kyoko looked down at the warehouse district. It was a good place to find Witches, though lately there hadn't been a lot in the city. Supporting two Magi, one potentially emotionally traumatized and the other worrying about the state of the first, it was taxing. They needed to get Grief Seeds…
That was when Kyoko had an idea. A smirk found its way onto her face.
Mami stood beside her, taking heed of the grin.
"Oi, see that?" She pointed.
Frowning, Mami looked in the direction that Kyoko indicated. An eerie snakelike creature that looked as if it had torn itself away from a horror movie was inching toward two teenagers holding hands. They were probably on their way to one of the parties that were sometimes thrown in the abandoned warehouses around here. Considering it was Saturday night, that was highly likely.
Mami nodded and lifted her musket, getting ready to fire at the Familiar, when—
Kyoko pushed the barrel of the gun up before she could shoot.
"What are you doing?"
Kyoko stood up, planting her lance in the roof. "Just let it get 'em."
Mami looked taken aback. She stared at her with uncertain eyes. "W-What…?"
Mistake number three.
"Ya heard me, let it get 'em." A careless shrug. "Once it eats 'em, it'll gather some grief and become a Witch. We get a Grief Seed that way, and we don't have to waste our magic on crap like Familiars. Makes sense, don't it?"
Mami stared at her in shock. "You…You don't truly mean that, do you? Would you really let them die so simply?"
Kyoko snorted, lifting her chin. "There's a hell of a lot more fish in the sea, if ya haven't noticed."
Mami didn't reply straightaway, she merely shot the Familiar before it could reach the teenagers. The sudden sound startled them. She faced Kyoko again, still in disbelief, but now clearly upset. She searched Kyoko's red eyes, the redhead staring coldly back. "…You honestly believe that, don't you?"
"Hell yeah I do. Fuck, now we have to wait for another Familiar to show, or go try 'n' find a Witch. There ain't a lot around here lately if ya haven't noticed." She sighed, exasperated. Why did Mami have to interfere? She didn't understand.
She turned her back and started walking. "Ya gonna keep clingin' to those petty ideals of yours until it bites ya in the ass?"
"They are hardly petty." Mami kept up with her, concern leaking into her voice. "They're the same ideals you once upheld. They are as correct then as they are now."
"Keyword: once. They don't accomplish shit. All they do is cause pain. Who were we kiddin', fightin' for 'justice' and all of that? We're not heroes. Now isn't the time for this 'crusader of justice' bull crap, it's time for a little thing called…" She stopped and smiled cruelly, fangs showing in the light. "Pragmatism."
"I believe you mean murder, because that is precisely what allowing others to be consumed by Familiars is called, seeing as we have the power to save them."
Kyoko whipped around to face her, eyes narrowing. "Well hell, I guess it's murder then, ain't it? They die, we get Grief Seeds, and we stay alive to save even more people from Witches. Think of it that way, if it makes it any easier for ya."
"We didn't save those people though. It'll go in a continuous loop—a contradiction that will hardly allow any saving at all."
Her eyes furthered narrowed until they were just crimson slits. "Now you're just overthinkin' things."
Mami sounded like she was trying to remain calm. Wise move, since getting upset would only further stoke Kyoko's fire. "We can continue to do things as we always have."
"What, ya think so? I don't. We shouldn't even have to struggle a bit, ya know as well as I do that sometimes things got a little rough for us."
"We can manage, as we have up until now."
Kyoko snarled, "Ya don't even want to listen to reason, do ya?"
"I could say the same to you," was the cool response.
Her lance flashing to her grip, Kyoko pointed it straight at Mami's neck. "What are ya gonna do? Watch me twenty-four-seven? I doubt it." She pulled her weapon back, sneering.
"Kyoko, those people could have family or friends that need them!"
Suddenly, her temper flaring up impossibly higher, Kyoko slammed Mami into a chimney stack with enough force for the other girl to lose her breath. "Too bad for them, ain't it? Think of it as a food chain, Mami, 'cause that's exactly what this whole situation is! If they're too weak to fend for themselves, it's not my damn problem!"
"H-How can you say something like that?" Mami gasped out, her eyes wide as she stared at her friend as if she no longer recognized her.
"I say it because it's the truth. Get your head outta the clouds 'fore ya get hurt worse than ya already have. What, are ya gonna stop me?"
"…I won't allow you to sacrifice others to Familiars—"
That was all Kyoko needed to hear. She twirled her lance and pointed it at Mami with a smirk. "Ya won't allow me? What makes ya think you're even strong enough to stop me?"
Mami's eyes flickered to the weapon jabbed in her direction. "Kyoko—"
No. She didn't want to hear what she had to say. She didn't want to hear her logic, or anything else. She just wanted an outlet for her rage and sorrow and how it all had just finally eaten her up—in a different way than how grief devoured the light in her Soul Gem.
Mistake number four:
She attacked.
With her Soul Gem reasonably bright, without the ability to use its corruption as the reason, she attacked her only friend left in the entire world.
Her spear separated into multiple parts, and she spun, both ends jabbing and cutting into the golden Magi. Mami tried to bind her with ribbons, but she sliced through them before they had a chance to form. She had expected that.
Mami was attempting to protest, but Kyoko drowned out her voice, fangs bared in an imitation of her old smile, back when she had been an idealistic daughter of a famous preacher.
Mami defended herself by taking out muskets and twisting them so that their sides could deflect the spear-heads. Their battle took them off of the rooftops and down into the alleyways that twisted everywhere throughout the warehouse distract like tunnels through dirt.
A warning shot sailed past her head, but Kyoko ignored it, picking up the speed and fury of her attacks, heedless of how much harm she was causing the other. A bullet wound there, on her shoulder, hit her next. Blood flew. She ignored it.
It seemed Mami was trying to make non-lethal shots.
Oh fuck that was precious! Too precious!
With another huge grin, Kyoko kicked viciously, sending Mami into the wall. She was riddled all over with bullet shots, but seeing as Mami kept trying to avoid causing her too much damage; it wasn't anything she couldn't ignore. The golden Magi slumped there, still clutching one musket, and Kyoko poked her throat with her spear.
A droplet of blood emerged.
"This town isn't big enough for the two of us." She grinned widely at the clichéd line.
"Ky-Kyoko…"
She spun her lance and planted it down beside her. "So I'll be leavin'. I can't stand the sight of this place another second. Ya can have your apartment all to yourself again."
Mami's eyes flashed with pain at the words, and Kyoko felt a brief twinge of sympathy. "No, Kyoko, wait!" She tried to stand back up, but froze when the other aimed her weapon at her again. "We can work something out…please, don't leave."
"We don't have to work crap out. It's easier this way, for the both of us. I'll be goin' now. Don't follow me."
Without another word, ignoring anything else Mami may or may not have said, she turned.
And made mistake number five.
She walked away.
Author's Note: I could not have written this at all without the help of my friend Carys! Thanks~! She helped me try to write Mami, who I have issues with. You can probably tell the places where she pretty much gave me the lines to use and the places where I tried my best at sounding like Mami. That aside, thanks for reading, review if you want!
