DISCLAIMER: I only own the plot, the characters' situation, their personality (as it's NextGen), and ... the waiter and other OCs. JK Rowling owns ALL ELSE!

btw... this story taks place many years before my fanfic "I love you, Scorpius" and is when they're about twenty two or something.

DEDICATION: To GeniusDestruction. Happy (belated) Birthday! Sorry I couldn't upload it earlier!


I loved him. I knew that much. What I didn't know then was just how much I loved him or how far I'd go for him. What I also didn't know was the aching pain missing him would bring me. Or just how far I would go to get him back.

My mum found me here, sitting blankly on my bed, not hearing their calls for dinner, the tear tracks on my face unbeknownst to me. She asked what was wrong. Again, I did not hear her. Then she noticed the pictures and the letters and the tears. She recognized my blank stare and my mouth set in a grim line and knew I was in mourning. Not of death, but still of loss. Loss of love found me in this state.

She did not talk to me, just sat down and held me. She knew how I felt. She had been in the same position years before, yet the situation was entirely different. Scorpius had not left, no; he never left. He always saw me as strong and sure always there. Yet at the most crucial moment, my loyalty failed me. I left him. I left him!

People always say you never know what you have until it's gone, but I knew what I had and still, still I left him. How he must feel now was unimaginable, imponderable. I could not say how he felt at this moment, but if it obtained any similarity to my emotions, he must be in a state that is impossible to cure. I was stupid. So... So stupid! He and I had everything. Everything! And now... Gone. All gone. We fought all the time and look where that got us. Our love was a rollercoaster with too much uphill and not enough loops. I wish that I could somehow fix this state we are in. somehow turn it all around and bring us back together. It was as if a puzzle piece was missing. No, more like I had the piece and chucked it across the room in frustration, never finding it but constantly searching. If only... But, no. It's impossible to fix this. It's my fault. I did this so... No! I can't fix it. It's horrible.

But I... If I made this happen, maybe I could mend this.

No, I couldn't.

Yes, I could.

No! I can't!

Yes! I can!

NO!

YES!

NO!

YES!

Because if it was my fault, then I was the one responsible for repairing it.

I can fix this.

I knew what I had to do.

I got up, my numbness falling off me like a blanket, and disapparated.

I popped out into the beachside bar that we'd fought at. It would have been considered nice, romantic even, had I not been in the mood I was in. The place was deserted, though it was not closed, the bright 'open' sign still flashing and colorful. The water-and-coffee-stained tables were strewn about the room in a haphazard fashion and some of the chairs were toppled over. The ceiling was cracked and peeling, although it was hardly noticeable in the dim lighting. The bar in the corner was by far the highlight of the room. Not because of the drinks, but because of the niceness of the bar stools and the lighting directing your attention to the brilliantly polished wood and the pretty walls, more intricate than the others of the room. There were now a few customers, drifting towards a dark corner. I didn't notice them. The only thing that held my attention now was the love of my life.

He didn't notice me, nursing a drink at the same table we had fought at. The chairs and broken items only seemed to accentuate the chaos of that memory. We had been so wrapped up in our own problems that we hadn't even noticed the other people in our lives. We had taken out the frustrations of the day on each other and now look where we were: a distant oblivion of quiet isolation.

I padded silently over to his chair and sat down next to him. He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't even notice the girl who broke his heart sitting right next to him. That was fine. I was content to just watch him. He was so beautiful. Not girly, just elegant and poised. He has the kind of beauty that could not be considered handsomeness. The connotation of that word just didn't seem to fit him.

A waiter approached the table. I shook my head at him and glared. He got the message.

I turned back to Scorpius to find him staring at me in shock. I just gazed at him. Maybe I wouldn't have to talk if could say how sorry I was with my eyes.

It didn't work.

His expression remained unchanged and he seemed incapable of speech. He finally managed to choke out a strangled, "Rose."

I nodded. I had to say something.

"I ... I know an apology won't be enough, but I am sorry. I really am. I didn't mean a word I said. I was angry and I know I'm just making excuses now, but work was really taxing this week and I was taking it all out on you and I'm sorry for that. I... I still love you. I hope you'll forgive me and still love me after all the bullshit I said and I would... I don't know. I'm sorry. I-"

He interrupted "Rose. I thought you left."

"I... I did. I was... I came back, Scorpius."

"You did." he said matter-of-fact-ly.

"Yeah." I said.

He glared. "I'm sorry," he said.

"Sor- sorry?" I sputtered

He nodded solemnly. "I made you leave. I was a bastard and I was the one who provoked the argument and I promised myself that we wouldn't argue this week. I broke that promise. I'm so sorry. Will you forgive me? Ever?"

"F-forgive... You?" I stammered.

"I guess not," he said as if he expected this. "Well, -"

I interrupted this time. "How can I forgive? You did nothing. I was the bitch! Can you forgive me?"

He blanched. "What? You didn't do anything! I started that argument. You just kept it going. We always do that."

I almost laughed at how ironic it was. I broke his heart and here he was, blaming himself for it!

I stood up, towering above him.

"Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy. You will listen to me now, and listen well. You. Did. Not. Do. A. Thing. Not a thing! I was the one who left. I was the one who ran away from it all. If you want to blame anyone, blame me. But don't, don't blame yourself." I hissed venomously.

He stood, his chair falling to the floor beneath him.

"Rose. Weasley." he mocked, "I loved you. But there is no way in hell that you could ever take me back. I lost my temper. I yelled. I had to physically stop myself from hurting you. I was to one who wronged you."

He was trying to convince me now, I could tell. There was also a part of him that was giving in, that was slipping to my side. He was starting to see the light. For a moment, I looked up at him, into his icy, grey-blue eyes and asked myself, 'What was I trying to do?'. I want him back, so why not get him back? He's perfectly willing to take me, so why the hell should I be going through this?

I had to make him see, that's why.

"Scorpius, you and I argue all the time. This is the first big argument we've had in a while. I think we were well over due for this one."

"That's the problem, isn't it? You take arguments for granted, where as I try to change. We're not cooperating."

"No, but we can ... change..."

"I still think we need to collaborate. We haven't been talking as much."

"That's completely beside the point, Scorpius."

"How is that beside the point? We're talking about the faults in our relationship, right?"

Damn it, I'd gotten side-tracked from my mission.

"What? No! We were talking about who broke who's heart."

"Oh. Well, I don't see how you could have broken mine because I don't feel any cracks in it." he said quickly.

"Well I'm pretty sure my heart is whole and healthy, so the only imperfections to it has would have to be the old battle scars." I shot back.

There. I saw it. It was only a glimmer of his old smile, but it was enough.

I smiled the first real smile since I'd left.

"Scorpius..."

"Darlin', let's just call it even." he said with his familiar quirky grin.

Finally! Here was the Scorpius I knew and loved. I laughed as he pulled me in. Everything was normal. No, it was better. Better than normal.

His kiss was intoxicating as always. Except now, it had a fire to it. A burning sensation searing my lips and warming my throat, tingling down my legs and sparking its way up my arms. He pulled away, lifting me in the air and spinning me around, happy to be together and giddy with joy and excitement.

I was completely unprepared for what was about to happen next.

"Rose, will you marry me?"


A/N: Yea. that's the end. :( sadness. If you guys have any complaints and/or CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM (because you all know that i looove constructive criticism!), please review! not to be desperate or anything... It's just...

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