"Maybe…we should give each other some space, Adrian."
My head turned so fast I could've sworn I heard my neck crack. "What?" I spluttered; shocked by what she had just said. The cigarette in my hand slowly slipped out of my grasp and hit the floor, the ashes luckily not burning. The beautiful blonde I had fallen in love with looked so sullen, so heartbroken and a tad bit guilty from what I assumed I looked like.
"I just…" Sydney placed a hand over her eyes, the other crossed over her chest. "I just….need some space from you Adrian…I know that…you need it from me too." I was honestly shocked. I placed my foot on the ground, lowering it from the bar of the stool and stood up. I walked towards her slowly and reached my hand out to touch her cheek.
She flinched immediately the minute my hand met her skin and I pulled back, hurt from her reaction. "Sydney…" I whispered, unable to recognize my own voice. I felt so out of character right now, but I don't think I could summon anymore energy to my voice-box. I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. It was a horrifying feeling.
"What…what brought this on…?" I really was confused, panicked, but confused. She had made no complaints about our relationship in so long. Sydney took another step away from him, looking insanely guilty; her eyes were even beginning to water. "It's not you Adrian…it's me…I…oh who I am kidding…It's both of us." My emerald green eyes stared into her closing ones. "Sydney…come on…speak to me." I exclaimed.
Sydney clenched her fists and took a deep breath. She looked me right in the eye and spoke calmly. "Please Adrian…just…give me some time…I…you need it too…You've been so tired lately, and…the amount of Spirit you're using is making your alcohol consumption and smoking sky-rocket, you…you need to relax, we need to get away from each other before…before I do something I might regret."
I took a step back. He was…angry…but not at her….at himself… Was it his smoking? His drinking? He'd curbed that to appease her but…after using Spirit he needed it…quite a bit… Was it…the amount of Spirit he was using? The mood-stabilization pills just hadn't been working now… He needed this.
I bit his lip hard enough to draw blood which trailed down my chin and dripped slightly. Sydney's eyes widened and she reached out to touch the faint amount of blood, she then pulled my bottom lip out from my teeth and leaned up to kiss me softly. "I know…how much you want to find Jill, I promise you, I do too. But the amount of stress that is coming onto you just isn't worth it Adrian. You're…" she paused and I stared down at her, I could practically feel my heart breaking. I knew what was going to happen.
She was going to leave me. Again. Just like she had after our first kiss.
Sydney smiled a smile that didn't reach her eyes and turned, heading towards the door. I felt so different right now, never had I felt so sullen. But as Jill says, I feel my emotions very strongly. Just as she reached the knob, I found my voice again.
"Please Don't Go…"
The love of my life froze and then slowly turned towards me, giving me a sad smile.
"Goodbye Adrian." And then she was gone.
Again.
