I wrote this in about ten minutes, and it's far, far from being the best I've written, but I hope that you might enjoy it a little bit anyway.

I suppose it's kind of one sided Destiel, though it doesn't have to be read that way.

I randomly got this idea when I was reading the latest chapter in Artemisdesari's fic The Words I've Spoken. Great fic, btw, go read it! So I guess I dedicate this to her.

Review? Please?

~SPN~

If Castiel had not been so busy grieving the fact that his hunter does not seem to need him anymore he might have felt it. He might have felt the despair bubbling just under the surface of Dean's contentment with his new, domestic lifestyle.

If he had just taken a moment to prod ever so briefly into Dean's mind, many things might have turned out differently. But he does not, and Dean never gets the chance of explaining to him, since Castiel always stays unseen, invisible, because he does no want to intrude on what he thinks, wants to think, is peace and something at least resembling happiness.

It hurts him to watch Dean like this, he desperately tries to convince himself he is happy that the hunter finally has found the family he has always craved, but the hurt is deeper, the thought that Dean does not need him anymore tears at him every time he comes to visit.

Then, when Crowley comes and suggests a deal, he accepts it because he knows that Dean will not help him, even if he were to ask. He does not even consider the possibility that Dean would leave this domestic life if Castiel revealed himself, and explained it all. So because he only sees what he desperately wants to see, Dean's happiness and peaceful life, he accepts Crowley's offer, and turns his back on Dean.

He does not return to watch his hunter doing all the things a normal man does with and for his family, and when Dean finally calls for him, it is too late. And Castiel still does not look any deeper than the surface, because maybe, just maybe, he is afraid to see that he has been wrong about Dean's feelings this past year. So he keeps convincing himself he did the right thing.

If he had only looked a little deeper, looked into Dean rather than just at him, things might have turned out differently.

If he had not cared so much about the hunter, about giving him the life Castiel thinks he deserves, everything would have turned out differently.

~SPN~

Review?