Goniff's Birthday Treat

`I'm bored`. Goniff wined for what Casino thought must be the hundredth time.

`Play cards, said Casino.

`Done that`, said Goniff.

`Why don't you try reading a book? Asked Actor hopefully.

`Aw come on mate you gotta be kidding`, said Goniff.

`Take a walk`, said Chief.

Goniff patted the cast on his leg

`Great idea mate, wish I'd thought of it`, he replied sarcastically.

`The Doctor did say that you get about on the crutches when you wanted too, ` said Actor.

`Don't want to`, muttered Goniff peevishly.

`Goniff , I swear if you don't stop whingeing I'll break the other leg`, said Casino. `You're driving me crazy`.

`S'all right for you , said Goniff, `You ain't stuck in here all day`.

`Neither are you Goniff `, said Actor `You could go and sit in the garden if you wanted too , it's a beautiful day, and the sunshine might just improve you're

temperament`,

`Get bored on my own`, said Goniff .

`Here we go with the bored thing again`, said Casino getting more and more exasperated . `Will you just please find something to do and stop whining`.

`Why don't you go and see the Warden? Asked Chief hopefully.

`Did that, he sent me to find you guys, seems I'm just a bother to everyone these days`, said Goniff

`You are not a bother Goniff, you just need to find something to do to keep yourself occupied`, said Actor quietly. `I know it is frustrating not to be able to get about

as you would like, but there really is nothing that any of us can do about it, you have to help yourself and find something to keep you busy , or it's going to be a long

four weeks for all of us.`

Goniff sighed.

`Why don't you decide what you want to do for your Birthday? Asked Casino cheerfully, ` It's only a couple of days away`.

Oh gee mate thanks for reminding me, that really cheers me up`, said Goniff.

`It's only your Birthday Goniff, why the hell can't you have a good time like the rest of us? Asked Casino.

`Cos it just reminds me that I might not be here to celebrate the next one`, yelled Goniff.

`Should make this one count then`, said Chief quietly.

Goniff picked up his crutches and awkwardly started towards the door.

`Going out`, he said.

They watched him leave and looked at each other.

`It is going to be a very long month`, said Actor smiling.

Chief smiled back

`Oh yeah`, he said, `Way too long`,

`Maybe it's time to call in reinforcements`, said Actor.

`You gonna see the warden? Asked Casino.

`Think I might just do that`, said Actor as he heard Goniff coming back `And I think right now would be a very good time`,

…..

Actor stood outside Craig's door with his hand raised.

`Come in Actor`, said Craig.

Actor entered and Craig motioned him to sit down.

`So what can I do for you? He asked.

`We have a problem`, Actor stated simply.

Craig smiled.

`Let me guess, wouldn't happen to concern a broken leg now would it? he asked.

Actor laughed.

`Usually we can cope, but you know how he gets when it's his Birthday`, Actor stated

Craig sighed

`Have to admit I'd forgotten that's only two days away isn't it?, got any ideas? Asked Craig.

`Just one, do you happen to know when she'll be back?

Craig smiled .

`Already thought of that, and unfortunately it won't be for another few days,` he said.

`Looks like its up to us then`, said Actor.

Craig nodded

`Looks that way`, he said.

`Do you think she'd mind if we had a small party at the cottage for him?asked Actor.` At least some good food might cheer him up a little, and it would do him good to

get away from here for a while `,

`I'm sure it would be okay, and it couldn't make things any worse now could it? He asked.

Actor stood up.

`I'll arrange everything, but a couple of passes to London would help , he asked hopefully, just to get the best food we can`, said Actor smiling.

`Craig looked at him and chortled.

`Okay, I'm feeling gullible, so I'll believe you`, he said, `But why only two?

This time it was Actors turn to laugh.

`We drew straws and Chief lost, he gets to stay and keep Goniff company`.

Craig signed the passes and handed them to Actor.

`Just for this afternoon`, he said `And don't be late back`,

Actor looked at him innocently

`Oh Warden , really as if we would`, he said as he took the passes.

`Oh, my mistake, what was I thinking? Grinned Craig.

As he watched Actor leave Craig couldn't help thinking that somehow this was going to come back and bite him right in the butt.

Goniff's Birthday was well under way when he woke, and as he poked his head out from under the covers he took one look at the sunshine and pulled them over his

head once more.

It was nine o'clock, and he had no intention of getting up any time soon if he could help it.

`Come on sleepy head rise and shine, breakfasts here,` said Casino as he rattled in with a tray ,

At the sound of plates rattling Goniff looked at Casino.

`Happy Birthday Limey, thought you might like breakfast in bed`, he said as he placed the tray on Goniff's lap.

`You cook this? Asked Goniff as he looked at the bacon , eggs and fried bread that was in front of him.

`Yeah, you got any complaints, cos I can take it away again `. He said making a grab for the tray.

Goniff hugged the tray closed to him,

`Naw, looks okay, thanks`, he said.

`Well enjoy , cos Angels coming back tomorrow and we got chores to do at the cottage this afternoon and you're coming with us`, he said.

`Aw mate , would love to , but me leg `, said Goniff rubbing his cast.

`Doc says you can get up and you know it, so be ready, ` said Casino.

Goniff stuffed a fork full of the eggs and bacon in his mouth and grunted.

He ate as slowly as he could ,and when finished pushed the tray under the bed and then pulled the covers over his head hoping that they would leave him alone for at

least a few more minutes. When he woke two hours later he decided that he could no longer delay the inevitable, and hauled himself out of bed and headed

downstairs.

`Bout time you got 'ere`, said Casino.

`I'm sick , remember? Said Goniff.

`Not sick enough to help out, and besides it will stop you getting bored again, ` Casino teased.

`Okay, lets go and get this over with`, sighed Goniff.

`Get what over with? Asked Actor.

`Whatever you guys have planned for my Birthday`, said Goniff.

Actor looked at him.

`All we intend to do is get the cottage ready for Angel's return tomorrow, and have supper there tonight, if you really don't want to help then by all means stay here`.

He said.

`Might as well come , got nothing' else to do.` said Goniff.

As he headed for the door Actor and Chief looked at each other and then at Casino, who stood smiling mischievously at Goniff's back..

…..

They arrived at the cottage and each took the job they had previously decided to do . Chief working outside with Goniffs help, and the other two setting out the treats

for the party later on.

At two o'clock Casino called Goniff into the cottage and set him the task of putting the cups and plates on the table.

`It ain't a party it's just supper , so don't start with the moaning`, said Casino.

`Didn't say nothing;. Said Goniff miserably.

`Casino headed outside and beckoned Actor to follow him as he headed for the garden to find Chief.

`Birthday present should be here in a few minutes`, said Casino.

`So what did we buy him? Asked Chief.

Casino turned as a car pulled onto the gravel.

Both Actor and Chief looked at the woman who got out of the car.

`You got him a girl? Asked Chief.

Casino smiled.

`Well what else does he like to do the most apart from eat? He asked.

`Casino,` yelled Actor, `You can't just hire a woman for him, and especially here at Angel's. She'll go mad when she finds out`,

`Then we'd better make sure she don't find out won't we? Look she's not back 'till tomorrow, she'll never know, not unless you tell her`, said Casino.

`Tell her? I for one am having nothing to do with this`, said Actor.

`Goes for me too`, Chief joined in.

They stopped talking as the girl headed towards them.

`Hi, I'm Kitty, I hope this is the right place`, she said softly.

`Oh yeah, ` said Casino. `They did tell you he's busted his leg didn't they?

`Oh yes, but that's not a problem`, she said.

`Great, then if you don't mind I'll get things started, I have another appointment later tonight , wouldn't like to keep the gentleman waiting.`

Kitty turned and headed for the front door and Actor and Chief just looked at each other , neither one knowing quite what to say,

`Amazing ain't she? Asked Casino

`Well that sure one way to put it`, said Chief.

`I take it the uniform was your idea? Asked Actor.

`Yeah`, laughed Casino, `Had to pay extra for that, don't think it's too much, do you?

`I think that it's all a little too much`, said Actor. `Do you really think that Goniff's gonna keep his mouth shut about this? Angel will find out and then I would rather be

anyone else but you`.

`It's just a little fun, that's all. The limey needed cheering up.` said Casino with a little less enthusiasm than before.

`I need a drink`, said Actor.

`Great idea , said Casino. I'll even get the first round in`,

They started to walk to the pub and then just as it came into sight they were stopped in their tracks as the Wardens jeep drove passed them heading for the cottage.

They turned their backs to him hoping that by some miracle he wouldn't see them.

…..

`So what do you think they're up too ? Angel asked Craig .

`I have no idea , but I'll bet it nothing I'm going to like`, he said.

`I thought Goniff would be with them, it's not like him to miss a drink`, she said.

Craig nodded his agreement as he pulled the jeep to a halt outside the cottage.

`You expecting company? He asked as he looked at the car.

`Not one that I know`, she said

`Well let's go check shall we? He asked. `I'll check upstairs`.

Angel nodded and headed for the back room to start her own investigation.

She heard giggling as she approached the door and she quietly turned the knob and opened it a few inches.

Stifling her own giggles she quietly closed the door again and went to find Craig.

As she saw him coming down the stairs she motioned him to be quiet and then pointed to outside.

She almost pulled him to the jeep and then burst into laughter.

`What exactly is so funny? He asked smiling at her.

`You'll never guess what they bought Goniff for his Birthday`, she said .

Craig looked back at the cottage and then at her, and then he too burst out laughing.

`They bought him a hooker? He asked

Angel tried to look solemn

`A nurse, no less, they seem to have thought of everything.`

Craig giggled.

`Let's get out of here before we spoil the fun`, said Angel.

`This has Casino written all over it, I'll haul his butt in my office in the morning , and read him the riot act for you`, said Craig.

`Oh no, he's not getting away with it that easily, this time revenge will be sweet`, she said.

`You want to get a drink? He asked .

`Definitely not, let's get back to the estate , they can think I don't know anything about it until I'm ready to tell them otherwise`, she said.

`Whatever you want Honey, they're all yours`. He said.

….

`Can I use your phone? She asked as they entered the office.

`Sure Honey,` he said `Who you calling?

`Why the pub of course, after all we have lost Goniff, now haven't we? She asked innocently.

Angel dialled the number

`The Doves`, said Patrick.

`Hi Pat , it's Angel can I speak to Actor please.?

After a few minutes Actors deep voice came down the phone .

`Hello Angel , lovely to have you back in time for the party`, he said

`Hi Actor we've just got back to the estate and Goniff seems to have disappeared, you guys don't have any idea where he is do you, cos I know he's not with you ?

She stated.

Actor hesitated.

`We left him at the cottage, his leg was hurting so he decided to just sit quietly for a while.` he said.

Craig had been listening in as Angel held the phone for him to hear what was said, played his part.

`They know where he is ? He asked sounding as concerned as he could.

`Oh yeah he's at the cottage, apparently his leg's hurting, no need to panic after all`,

Angel turned back to the phone , trying not to laugh.

`Maybe I should get over there and make sure he's alright? She said.

`That won't be necessary , I'm sure he's fine, and we won't be long before we get back, we still have a few things to do before the party tonight`. Actor said a little

too quickly.

`I don't know`, said Angel, `I think I'd feel better if I knew for myself that he's okay, I know how miserable he gets on his Birthday.`.

`There really is no need for that Angel, we will get back there immediately if it will make you feel any better and call you if we need you, there really is no

point in us all going back there, I'm sure you want to spend some quiet time with the Warden while you have the chance`, he said.

`Well if you're sure it won't be any bother`, said Angel, `Some time alone would be nice`.

`It will be our pleasure, and we will see you around six for the party, if that is convenient`,

`That Actor sounds just fine`, she said,

She put down the phone and looked at Craig, and they both exploded with laughter.

…..

As requested they arrived at the cottage at six .

Both Craig and Angel tried to keep a straight face .

`Happy Birthday Goniff , are you feeling any better? Asked Angel.

`Much better luv,` thanks for asking.

`Hi Goniff, glad you're okay , was worried we'd have to get you back to the hospital , thought you might need a little extra nursing`, Craig said keeping a straight face

`Think maybe he did a little too much walking `Warden`, said Casino.

`Yeah Warden, that's probably what it was`. Said Goniff.

`I'll just go and get your present Goniff`, said Angel.

`Would you like a beer ? Asked Craig, `You know as you missed going down to the pub with the rest of them`.

`Thanks, Warden that would be great`, he said.

Angel walked back into the room holding a parcel in one hand and something that the others couldn't quite see in the other

She waited until Goniff took a sip of beer before she produced the nurses cap.

`Weirdest thing, I just found this in the front room`, she said.

She watched as Goniff choked on his beer.

`Can't think where on earth it came from`. She said.

Angel looked at Goniff who looked sheepishly back at her.

`Had a friend round this afternoon,` he said.

`I know`, she said smiling.

`Just a friend`, he said

`I know`.

Goniff tried to laugh, but it changed into an embarrassed smile.

`Sorry`, he said.

`Angel bent down close to his ear so that only he could hear her, and repeated what she had heard earlier.

`That's all right big boy`, she said.

She watched as the pink flush that started on Goniff's face turned scarlet

`You know`, he asked

Angel just nodded.

`Was a Birthday present`, he said smiling, `From the guys.

`From Casino`, said Actor and Chief jointly.

`Now how did I know that? She asked as she looked directly at Casino.

`Well it did him good , didn't it? at least he's not miserable any more`, he said sheepishly

`Makes my sweater seem a really boring present though now doesn't it? She asked smiling at Goniff.

Goniff tore open the present that she had given him.

`Hey this is brilliant`, he said. My mum knitted me one just like it a few years ago, just before I got nicked, loved that sweater`, he said.

`I know that too`. Said Angel. `Maybe you should read the card`.

Angel watched as tears started to appear.

`It's from me mum`, he said.

Craig starred at Angel.

`How? He asked.

`Goniff talked about his mum a lot so I wrote to her, we've been exchanging letters for a couple of months now, she sent me a photo and asked if I would knit her a

sweater for him as it would be easier than her trying to get it here in time for his Birthday`. Said Angel

`We will talk about this later , said Craig sternly

`Now don't go and spoil everything`, she said, `There's nothing in the rules that says that I can't write to a friend, and if the lady just happens to be Goniff's mum

then , so what?

`She's got you there Warden`. Said Casino.

`Ain't it about time we ate? asked Chief before the argument started.

Angel smiled

`Quite right Chief, ` said Actor.

Angel swung Goniff's foot off the sofa and with Casino on the other side of him they stood him up and helped him to the table.

`Happy Birthday Love`, she said as she kissed him on the cheek.

`Got some of your mums letters for you to read later, but let's not tell the Warden just yet , eh? She winked .

`This really is the best Birthday,`he said as he hugged the sweater, `Feels like me mums really here`.

The chorus of Happy Birthday started as the others gathered at the table, he looked at the smiling faces of his friends as they sang to him, and for once he

really didn't mind.