He watched in horror as his beloved and his father battled in his ruined castle. They were up to their final Pokémon- his Escavalier and her Emboar.
"Stop fighting!" he wanted to shout. "There has to be another way!"
However, he knew there wasn't. He knew neither would stop til the other was beaten.
"Blaze! Use flame charge!" she yelled, pointing her finger in the air. Obediently, Blaze raced towards Escavalier, covered in bright flames.

"Avoid, Escavalier!" barked Ghetsis, his voice ringing around the room. "And... NOW!" he pointed his finger as his Pokémon narrowly avoided the fire boar. "FINISH IT!"
N thought his father was going for a sneak attack on Blaze- he couldn't have been more wrong.


Escavalier flew towards White and swiftly thrust his lance through her chest. Pulling it out, N saw that it was coated in blood.
"NO!" N yelled, running towards the falling White as his father laughed. "WHITE!" as he caught her in his arms and they fell to the floor, she looked first at the hole in her chest and then up at him, eyes slowly glazing over.
"N..." she whispered hoarsely. "N..."

"Shh..." he whispered to her, stroking her silky brown hair. "It's going to be okay White, I promise. SOMEONE HELP ME!" he shouted to the observing sages and goddesses. White slowly shook her head, breathing in quick gasps.
"N..." She sobbed, "I'm... sorry..." N's eyes filled with tears as he shook his head fiercely.

"No White, I won't let that happen. You WILL survive this!" using her final strength, the tiny brunette raised her head and kissed him gently on the lips.
"I love you N..." White's voice was no more than a whisper. N watched despairingly as her little head rolled to the side.

"WHITE!" he cried, shaking her shoulders. "White, please wake up!" a hand feebly touched his shoulder and he looked up to see Bianca, with Cheren behind her.
"N... She's gone." sobbed Bianca, covering her face with her hands. Cheren stepped forward and took the crying girl into his arms, tears streaking his own face. N went still as ice, colder than Vanilish's by far, seeped through his veins.
"No..."


Your hair reminds me of a time where we once were
Your fingernails that marked my back now rot in earth


He sat in his cell until Looker permitted him to see White's body. Sorrow and sympathy was on his face as he muttered condolences N didn't hear. Like a ghost, he glided to the morgue, watched the silver door open and sank to his knees beside the bed her body lay upon.
"White..." he whispered softly, finding himself unable to breathe as he gripped her cold, limp hand. "I'm so sorry love..."


The sheets we slept in blew away and now the storm is over
The taste of you inside my mouth remains
but still I'm hearing


She didn't look or feel like his White. His White had colour in her cheeks and a smile on her beautiful face. Her eyes were always shining, her expressions always animated. This White was pale and dead, her eyes wide and staring. The expression on her face was pleading. He could still taste her pecha berry lip gloss and hated himself for not stepping in front of her as Escavalier had attacked.

He dreaded waking up tomorrow, knowing he'd never hear her voice again, never be able to kiss or hold her again.
"I'm so sorry," Looker whispered as he locked N back into his cramped cell. N could see the tears in the older man's eyes.


There's no love, everyone is crying
There's no talk, everyone's misguided


N lay in his uncomfortable cot as he waited for the perfect time to initiate his plan. He'd never felt this sensation before- this numb yet painful feeling that had started in his heart but had spread throughout his body; but wanted it to be over.

A few hours after the lights had flickered off; he crept out of his cot and dropped his Zoroark's Pokéball through the bars. Within seconds, the fox was nuzzling his arm with her snout, sensing his deep sorrow and pain.


And now The End is hear
There's no more pills to swallow
The bitter taste I feel won't lead me to tomorrow


"Zoroark, I need you to duplicate one of the guards on duty and get me the keys to my cell. You may use force if necessary, just be sure to not attract attention," he murmured in a clipped voice, stroking his oldest friend's black and red furred face.

He whispered something else, felt her nod and stepped away. N knew he had never issued a command like that before, but did not care at all.


Your scent reminds me of the place we used to go


Walking back to the morgue surrounded by his Pokémon, N realized that he could still smell White's perfume on his shirt; the sweet flower scent he'd adored. He remembered those long hours spent in Lostlorn Forest with her in his lap, revelling in the moment. He'd always told his father he needed to watch White.

Ghetsis had at first objected, saying that spying was Shadow Triad's job; but N had always left whether his father liked it or not.
The two would meet at the Ferris wheel in Nimbasa City and then race each other as they flew to Lostlorn Forest. N would let White win and she'd scoff, but then wrap her arms around him and rest her head on his chest. Right on the heart she knew she owned.


The kisses place upon my neck show signs of no return


In the forest, White would sit in his lap and smile up at N. Sometimes they'd talk others they'd play like children. There was always an hour where they'd kiss each other, where White's mouth would travel from his lips to his neck.

Last night, White had appeared in his room in the Misaltron Pokémon Center, begging him to not awaken Reshriam. He'd foolishly refused, saying that Reshriam's awakening would fix their world. She'd cried in his arms, sobbing that she didn't want to lose him. He'd promised her he'd never let her go and had kissed her, slowly at first but then more passionately.


The bed we fucked in smells the same but now the stench is fading


Making love to White had felt perfect- the two had moved together so synchronized that it had surprised them both. If N had known that his first night with White would be his last, he would've run away with her. Instead, he'd fallen asleep with his princess in his arms, their hearts directly on each other.


The taste of you inside my mouth remains
but still I'm hearing
There's no love, everyone is crying
There's no talk, everyone's misguided


He re entered the morgue and again sank to his knees beside White's body.
"White..." he murmured, stroking her face. "I promised you that I wouldn't leave you. Even in death, love, I'm keeping my promise. I love you too White," he produced the aspirin he'd asked Zoroark to steal for him and emptied the whole container into his mouth.


And now The End is hear
There's no more pills to swallow
The bitter taste I feel won't lead me to tomorrow


N felt the discomforting numbness in his stomach and threw up until he could not physically move by himself. He shook like a leaf but welcomed the whole ordeal.

He'd apologized to his Pokémon on the walk, begged them to fly on Reshriam's back to White's house in Nuvema Town. He knew her mother and Bianca would care for them, for White's sake. Not his. No one but his Pokémon would miss him... Not even his father.


Fight for anger
Lies for power
Fighting for nothing
Is what you were born for


He knew why he had been born now, and hated his father for making his whole life a lie. He hated himself for letting Ghetsis see how much White meant to him, for designing the perfect plan that resulted in White's destruction.

Gentle N had never hated anyone before- he'd disliked Professor Juniper based on what his father had told him, but now felt no dislike for the kind professor. White had seen to that.
"White... I'll see you soon love," N thought as the world began to fade before his eyes.


Fight for anger
Lies for power
Fighting for nothing
Is what you were born for