A/N: Please read Lycanthropy Lily too, you'll understand the Lycanthropy part more.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter
B Team – Marianas Trench
This could hurt some,
But if we don't never know what it's worth to ya
I saw you first,
Do ya remember?
You played it well, victim sell,
How I fell for it, I never fell before
Believing in Love
It wasn't because I was doing 'Community Service' - as dad had called it; it wasn't even because I was a werewolf that made me answer Anderson Lee the way I did.
I was sitting by the black lake catching up on some homework I'd missed during the full moon and basking in the sun, soaking up some vitamin D when he approached me.
"Hey Lily!" he said enthusiastically
"Hey Andy." I replied, equally enthusiastically. He was easy to like, not just as a friend. Funny, charming and kind.
"What are you doing?" he asked, sitting down beside me
"Just catching up on some homework I missed last week."
"Ah, full moon is getting in the way of your education, hey?" he laughed
I sat there in shock for a couple minutes, surely he didn't know? No, of course not. I forced a laugh and bent my head down and pretended to do my work.
"I know Lils." He said after a few minutes
"Know what, Anderson?" I asked a little too harshly
"That you're a werewolf." He said with a chuckle
"You're crazy!" I laughed, still keeping my head down in case he saw how shocked I was, he could just be joking! But that was a stupid thing to think, we'd been friend for years and even though I hadn't told him – or anyone for that matter – he was extremely smart and would have figured it out.
"Not only did I figure it out right as after Halloween but my dad told me about the...mishap."
The mishap? That's what they were calling the murder I'd committed now? And of course his dad had told him, he worked in The Wizengamot and had been there for my questioning. It wasn't a trial, I'd escaped that, barely, but they needed to hear my side of the story.
"Okay, fine." I said, finally looking up
"Why do you look so angry and...Are you scared?" he looked a little alarmed at my expression
"Because I'm expecting the worst here. It helps me to be prepared for when something bad happens."
"You think I'm going to tell?" he looked slightly hurt at the insinuation
The fact that I didn't answer confirmed what he had asked.
"Come on, Lily! You know me better! If anything I should be angry with you for not telling me. We've been friends for almost our whole lives, I feel really betrayed. Since when do we keep secrets?"
"I'm sorry. It's not something I want to get out. I'm already in trouble for killing Greyback and I'm a disgusting beast! How could I burden anyone with that?"
"You're not a disgusting beast, Lily!" he said angrily, "And it's not a burden if you are willing to trust someone with such a condition."
I felt ashamed now, I realised I shouldn't have lied to him. I trusted him above all my friends, he at least had the right to know.
"I'm sorry, I should have told you. I was just scared and ashamed."
"You have nothing to be ashamed of!" Anderson replied, putting his arm around my shoulders and giving me a tight squeeze.
We sat in silence for about ten minutes, me finishing my homework and Andy staring out at the lake as it sloshed everywhere from the students swimming in it.
"I wanted to ask you something." He said hesitantly once I'd stuffed everything in my bag
"Ok."
"Okay, so we've been beating around the bush for years now. We know we have feelings for each other but haven't done anything about it." He said
"That's not a question." I replied, taking my shoes and socks off and stretching out.
"I know, my question is, why?"
"Why, what?" I asked stupidly
"Why haven't we done anything about how we feel?" he asked, a hint of frustration in his tone
"I don't know. We just haven't." I said as I tipped my head up towards the sun
"Would you like to, you know, go out sometime over Christmas?" he asked nervously
Even though I knew the conversation was heading in this direction I was still unprepared for the question. "What?" I yelp as my arms gave way and I fell back from sitting position to lying flat on the grass
"You...you heard me." He muttered, blushing slightly
"I...er did. Yeah." I said as I pushed myself back up
When I didn't say anything else he pushed the matter a bit more, "So, what do you say, would you like to go out over Christmas?"
"I can't." I said bluntly, I wasn't known for my tact, "I have community service. It the small price I have to pay to stay out of Azkaban."
"But surely not in the evening?" he asked desperately
"Look, Andy, this is all very sweet and I'm flattered but I just can't do this right now."
"What is 'this'?" he asked, angry again
"Feelings and dates and couple things." I said as I quickly scrambled to my feet
"No one said we had to be a couple yet, it's just a date. We not signing some binding contract of marriage or making an unbreakable vow, Lily!"
"I can't, I'm sorry." I replied, snatching up my bag and walking off
"Wait!" he yelled
I kept walking but stopped when he caught up and grabbed my arm.
"I just want to know one thing then." He said as he spun me around to face him, "Do you believe in love? Because I'm getting the feeling that you don't."
I sighed, "You're right. I don't believe in love."
"But...but you used to." He pleaded
"Maybe, yeah, but not anymore." I said, not meeting his eyes
"Why in Merlin's name not?" he spat
"Because I see people like my Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione who argue about stupid things all the time but then say they love each other, I see how family claim to love each other but don't really. People I've known since I was young splitting up after thirty years of marriage. If they can't last then how can I believe that anyone else can? If they say they still love each other then why are the apart? Why should I believe in love when people around me are showing me that it's not real?" I asked
Anderson looked even more shocked than I had felt when he told me he knew of my condition.
"But that's ridiculous, so a few couples have issues and have broken up, that doesn't mean we will. Not everyone falls apart in a relationship. And there is love everywhere; you just need to open yourself up to it!" he replied in a hurry
"Well I can't."
"But you used to." He said
"I was stupid and naive then; I've grown up and learnt some things. I'm mature now and know how to tell when things are real and when they're not!" I snapped, growing angry at him for being so pushy
"You clearly haven't learnt anything if that's what you think now!" he snapped
"I'm not blind, Anderson! I know how things work, I don't believe in love because when you love someone you don't let them go!" I yelled and then turned and stormed off.
End
