AN: I was listening to Heaven by Beyoncé and it just inspired this oneshot. I don't own the song or the characters.
It's been 5 years, since I've seen or heard about him. Last of him that I knew was that he got married. I was happy for him and her. They were perfect for each other. I knew all along that we weren't meant to be anything other than friends, especially after the one night that changed everything.
It was a mistake in his eyes, and I didn't judge him for that thought. I became the other women and I did regret that. The guilt ate at my soul, and so I did the only thing I thought I could do and that was to run. I went to New York. He didn't react, he was okay with it. I think, he couldn't even live with the guilt.
I learned that I was pregnant 2 months after leaving. I was shocked but so happy. I had wanted children, and if it was like this, then this was simply meant to be how. I spoke to everyone still. JJ was excited for me and we went shopping for clothes and books. Reid was even excited for me, talking about his future god son or God daughters' future colleges. I appreciated every single one of them for allowing a secret pact to never mention his name or tell me about his life. Blake was even apart of my life and Emily was a huge supporter as well. I had an enormous amount of support. Blake's brother, Scott, had been the biggest supporter of them all. He transferred to New York and was there for me throughout my pregnancy- My late night cravings, the mood swings, and the ultrasounds. He was there for it all. I fell in love with him, each day a little bit more. When I had my beautiful bundle of joy, it was the best day of my life. 18 hours of labor worth it, when I heard his cry. As they laid him on my chest, my breathe hitched. He was perfect. Scott was crying and so was I. We did it. I couldn't stop smiling. My son. He was 6lbs and 11oz. His complexion was lite carmel and he had little blonde hairs, he had Derek's nose but my eyes. He was a mini me. He was my light, watching him grow made me the happiest I had ever been. Scott and I would joke about how he was gonna be a rebellious teenager because he was one as a toddler. JJ, Reid, Alex and Emily all came to visit on weekends. It felt so perfect. My life was upbeat and fun again.
Then it changed, a year ago. During a routine check up. They had found a defect in his heart. Test after test and months passed. The doctors told us that there was nothing they could do. He was going to die.
I was so angry, and sad. Scott was trying to be strong for the both us but I knew, I knew it was hurting just as much for him. I cursed at the world why take this beautiful, sweet human being before he's had a chance to live. The world answered in silence because there are no answers.
One week ago, after cartoons and putting on jammies, we kissed our son goodnight. He smiled as he fell asleep and he didn't wake up the next day.
Now at his funeral, I see his Derek and his wife. I wasn't sure why I invited him but I felt him being here for Michael death allowed it all to come full circle. To give Michael even more peace. We meet face to face after so long, he offers condolences to Scott and I, but when he sees Michael's photo- he knows. He says nothing but take a seat with the rest of the guest.
After the service, outside I play Michaels favorite song and release balloons to the sky, so they can entertain him.
No heaven couldn't wait for you...so go on, go home
