I heard her voice as soon as I left the wrong TARDIS, past TARDIS, and walked towards the right one, present one. "C'mon, sweetie!" she smeeded pretty annoyed because it was taking so long for us to go to Darillium. Oh, River, my dear River, if I could just tell you why. But I couldn't now could I? Spoilers.

As I slapped my fingers she waltzed into the TARDIS and I followed her, just in time to see her gently tapping the console, saying hello to my time machine as she would always do. Or not. Not that River, never again, I knew. Maybe younger her, but not this her. God, that hurted.

I've known that I'd have to put myself through this for the past two hundred years and yet I wansn't prepared, and I was sure that not even another thousand years would be enough to help me accept that she was going to die, that I had to let her die. She was going to the Library in a few days and younger me would be there, to meet her for the first time, to not trust her ultil she whispers his name in his ear so they could save the five people still alive.

Suddenly I realized she was asking about my companion. "She's asleep", I answered coming out of my thoughts, River deserved my full attention. I had to give her as much attention as I could since she was never ever going to see me again after that damn night, that the next time... The Doctor would mean not to her but pain and suffering because after years of love and caring all I could give her in the day she died was my lack of trust and knowledge. Both of us knew that day would come, but she wasn't really prepared to that as I recalled. Or wouldn't be on her timeline.

"Pity I cannot see her today, really like that girl, so sweet she is." She was talking about my companion again and I nodded.

"Never actually thought you would get along with my new companion after your mother." I said, and regreted. The whole Amy history was quite heartbreaking and put River through sadness was not something I wanted. She just took a deep breath and smiled at me.

"Of course I'd get along! She helps you and tries to keep you outta trouble, must be thankful to her at least. And there's nothing not to like about that girl." I realized she was driving the TARDIS and for the first time in centuries I didn't complain. It was beautiful to watch and I must have been a real idiot not to let her drive every time.

"She loves you too, you know?" River deserved to know how much she was loved before... You know. "Keeps asking when we are going to meet you again and saying she wants to be like you some day. Really makes her sound as a 5 years old, but still." I laughed and I never could have realized how hard it would be to laugh that day. Absurd amount of effort I had to put on that.

"Like I said. As sweet as they come." She laughed along and I stared at her, the way she glowed everytime she was laughing, her golden hair framing her face so beautifully. That hurted so much I asked myself if I could stand the rest of the night. "And... Landed! Singing Towers of Darillium, here we are!" she smiled and I offered her my arm trying to smile back. He didn't seem to realize how sad I was and I was so thankful for that.

We walked out of the TARDIS, heading to the table I had set for us earlier that day. Still felt the pain of doing that, but I wanted it to be perfect. We had a clean close view of the towers, the table was set in the middle of some trees with coloured lamps hanging on them so we had a very low light. The white towel would change it's apparent colour from time to time thanks to the lights. In that time of year the trees were full of night flowers – very similar to the Earth ones actually – so the whole place had an amazing parfum.

Amazed. That was the term to describe River in that moment. She looked like she was going to cry of hapiness. Oh, as humany-wumany as possible my River. Her green eyes focused on me after a while and she press her lips softly against mine.

"I have the feeling you were the one who set everything up." She said against my lips. "And must congratulate you for being here on the right scheduled time." She joked pulling away.

"I can be on time." I pouted and she did not look very convinced. "Once in a while" I added and she tapped my nose as I used to tap hers.

She sat on a chair and rested her face on her hand while I went inside the TARDIS again and came back with a picnic - bigger on the inside - basket. I pulled out a bottle of wine and she asked who had thrown that one. "Henry the eighth, after I sort of insinuated he was the one to blame on the lack of male children matter. Thanfully he was too drunk to order my execution so he threw the bottle."

"You almost gave him a science spoiler. Right. He really was the one to blame but still..." she shrugged her shoulders and held the bottle. "So... A lot older than Napoleon's one, probably better. Are we celebrating anything, sweetie?"

"Not particularly." And I never said a bigger truth. I wasn't celebrating, I was mourning. Mourning her. Then again, couldn't tell, spoilers. "And how do you know it's older, my dear? Wibbly-wobbly timey-timey!" I tapped her nose trying to look as if I was having a lot of fun. "I could have got this bottle yesterday in my timeline."

"Have you?" She raised her eyebrow and I tried not to think how much I'd miss that smug way she looked everytime she did that.

"No." I admitted and she looked unbearably smug. "But that's why I said 'I could' intead of 'I did'." River rolled her eyes and laughed a little while I poured ourselves two glasses.

I sat beside her and we stayed silent for a few moments, she was admiring the place again. It seemed so simple to me, compared to all the places we had been, but it seemed to enchant her somehow.

"How long until they sing?" She asked and sipped the wine.

I checked my watch and tried not to show the pain I felt with the realization of how close the end was. "Five minutes. Tops." I forced a smile again and remembered what couldn't be forgot. "Which means I almost forgot!"

"Forgot what?"

I drank a huge amount of wine before I could tuck my hand into the inner pocket of my jacket and pull out a little blue box.

"What is it?" River asked, smiling and looking from the box to me and back to the box.

"A gift."

'And you said we weren't celebrating anything! Well... Rule One, I suppose..." I nodded. Even though I hadn't lied earlier that night, I would in that moment. To make her happy. "What are we celebrating then?"

"Just... Life." I caressed her cheek and she leaned against my touch, closing her eyes for a moment and then looking at me again. "And time traveling and it's crazy things... Like our timelines. Actually we are celebrating whatever we want! If we want, and you really seem to want-"

"Sweetie. Calm down. Got your point!"

"Fine. Cool. Now open!"

She opened the box and I swallowed the sounds of agony that wanted to leave my body. I had to control myself. She looked so confused when she held my sonic screwdriver. Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she could talk.

"It's... A sonic screwdriver. And it's scratched and obviously used enough for me to say it's your sonic screwdriver. Doctor, did you just give me your sonic screwdriver?"

'Yeap. Clever River! I did! That's a cool sonic screwdriver! Very very handy one, you might need it someday."

She looked down to the sonic screwdriver again and her eyes shined in happiness. That was what I needed to help me go through with my pain, seeing how happy I could make her.

"Don't think I'll be building a cabinet very soon but still... Thank you, my love." She winked and we laughed. Sundelly I found laughing so much easier.

"Cheeky. And not so very funny!"

"You laughed."

"Because you were laughing, it does not mean-."

Then I didn't say another word, River's lips were against mine and I couldn't think or breath or honestly think of breathing for that matter. She was all soft and sweet and she was the only thought on my mind. I opened my lips under hers and she did the same, deepening the kiss as she moved to sit on my lap. My hand found her waist and the nap of her neck, my fingers entangling her glorious golden hair. Her tongue brushed mine in that way that made my heart race and moaned when I traced my fingers up her spine and touched her bare skin. It was a calm, slow, loving kiss. Very uncommon for us but it was just apropriate for that moment. Even if River had no idea of how apropriate it was.

"I meant when I thanked you." She whispered over my lips and we both smiled. "I know how importante your screwdriver is to you."

She caressed my face with the tips of her fingers, her nails barely touching my skin. She was so beautiful and glowy on that low light and I wanted to cry. I was acting all humany-wumany again, but this time the cry would not be of hapiness. I swallowed hard and tried to keep the smile. Think I managed that 'cause her expression never changed.

"You are far more important." It was so sad the way she looked choked when I said that. "And you do know that, River. Don't look so shocked, I just suck at saying stuff."

"Yes you do, my love. And as it seems, you suck at math as well cause it's been far more than five minutes and the towers are not singing."

"Yet. Not my fault they are delayed."

"Or you arrived too early."

"I love you." I said and she held her breath for two seconds.

"What?"

"I love you and that's not the first time I say that."

"I know, but why did you say that in the middle or a discussion?"

"Because I also love the way you always have an answer to everything I say and how you mock my driving."

"Do you realize I will use it against you in a very near future, right?" No River, because there woudn't be future.

"'re River Song, aren't you?"

She never answered or if she did I never heard since the Towers had started to sing. River looked away to watch the towers and made herself confortable on my lap. I encircled my arms around her waist and rested my chin on her shoulder, inhaling her parfum like a drug as the beautiful song entered my ears and killed me inside without the proper permission. Unknowingly my embrace around her became harder and the sound of the Towers unbearable. They sang beautifully, but all I heard was sadness.

River was delighted and I was destroyed. She was smiling and had her eyes full of tears of joy while I felt like my hearts were being ripped out of my chest. Song after song she clapped and I found harder to keep myself under controll. Until the towers sang a real sad song.

If beautiful songs felt tragic to me, the sad one felt worse than death. I had died before ten times, I knew what if felt. But that... I had never felt anything that terrible in a thousand years of life. That's why I wanted to refuse myself to love, but failed immensly. I loved her, she'd die soon and I didn't know how I'd manage my life after that. All those thoughts send my control away and the tears came out of my eyes like a cascade. As much as I tried to be quiet, I sobbed and she heard it.

River turned her face to see me and looked horrified to see me crying. It was obvious that weren't tears of joy. I was aching and she could see. And it hurted her too.

"Sweetie, what's happening? Why are you crying?" She hugged me as she asked, and I just curled in her embrace without saying a word, my tears staining her emerald dress. She took my hat off and rested her chin on the top of my head, her fingers messing my hair.

"It's nothing." I said as soon as I could stop crying.

"Rule one." She said and smiled sadly. "You're not telling me. I can see it in your eyes. But there's one thing I'm sure about: it's probably spoilers."

I didn't say anything, couldn't lie to her anymore even though the rule one. The Doctor lies indeed, but not all the time. Specially not to her. Coudn't stand anymore. Coudn't tell her either, so I stayed quiet.

"Imagined so." She smiled and kissed me, very lightly and quickly. A 'it's ok' kiss, that was.

"Don't mind me. Pay attention to the Towers, you wanted do much to watch them sing."

"You are far more important." She quoted me and I couldn't help to smile.

I leaned my forehead agains hers, stuggling to keep every memory of the Library hidden in the darkest place of my mind so there woudn't be any chance of a spoiler-y thing slipping into her mind. She closed her eyes and so did I, listening to the Towers that seemed now so far away. I cupped her face with both my hands and opened my eyes to look straight into hers.

"I need you to remember one thing. Remember it always River, because it's important, ok?" She nodded. "I do love you. More than I thought I could love after I lost so much and got hurt so deeply. But I do. And trust you even more if that's possible. Always will. You have to believe that and believe me. If someday I seem not to, just... Make me to. Because in the day the Doctor doesn't trust his wife we'll all be doomed."

"Fine. I will make you, if I can."

"You can. You can do everything you want to, sweetie."

"That's my line." She pouted and rose a brow.

"We are married, what's your is mine as well." I shrugged.

"That's not how it works anymore, Mr. Song" She tapped my nose.

"Now that's not how it works." I tapped hers back.

"Who says?" So very cheeky all the time, my River.

"Your father, and your mother, because she used to call you 'Mrs. Doctor'..." I answered matter-of-factly.

"And nobody argues with Amy Pond." River finally laughed and for those moments I forgot that was our last date. "So I believe it's an impasse."

"I propose a truce then." I wouldn't believe I was joking with her like that on that day, but that was River's effect on me: she would always make me happy even when I was the saddest person of the Universe.

"A truce?" She asked, writing sweet things in Old High Gallifreyan on the sides of my arms.

"Yes. I'll be Mr. Song and you'll be . So we're both happy." I cupped her face again.

"Seems fair, Mr. Song."

"I am fair, Mrs. Doctor."

Then I tangled my fingers again in her hair and kissed her. Our mouths were open before our lips even touched, and there we were all lips, teeth and tongues, kissin as passioantelly as we'd usually do. The sparkle missing in the earlier kisses was there, and I think the reason for that is that as the time passed I grew more desperate with the idea I'd lose her very soon, so I wanted her fiercely, I wanted all of her.

My hands ran through her body and I thanked that she was sitting on my lap so the access was easier. River responded to my touch with the same intensity, her amazing hands playing inside of my jacket, exploring every inch of me she could reach.

I trailed my lips to her jaw and neck, her skin tasted as vanilla and lots of time traveling. She dug her nails into my back and I groaned. We could still hear the Towers singing and I was forgeting my past, her future, and enjoying the present. All we had. My last night with her and I would make it worthwhile.

-x-

There we were, on our bedroom at the TARDIS. She was asleep now, curled in my arms, her curls brushing my chest lightly. I wasn't one for sleepping, that night less of all. I wanted to watch her as she slept in such peace. I had no idea how long I'd been there. Hours, I'd guess. Endless hours and I really wished they to be endless. I could make them to last longer than the so called natural since I'd be able to spend months in the TARDIS with River and drop her in her place five minutes after I took her. But I shouldn't. Younger her could appear, and this her would be even more sure something was wrong. She already suspected and was way too smart not to actually.

She moved on my chest and for a moment I thought she'd awake. But she didn't. And I thanked I could watch her longer. My wife, the Child of the TARDIS, looked so calm and happy, and she glowed in the dark with her golden curls and curvy figure. She was a real goddess and I started wondering if the TARDIS wasn't messing with the lights to make River look like that. Then I remembered she was always that perfect.

"What about you, Old Girl?" I asked my ship, with a very low voice. "How do you feel? You know as well..." I could swear I heard some sort of answer from the TARDIS, the old girl would also be suffering. River as kind of her Child.

The second time she moved, a few time after that, she really awoke. Too soon, in my opinion, but it would happen anyway and there was nothing I could do.

"Morning..." She said, eyes still closed.

"Not morning yet. Or wouldn't be. Don't know really, we are in the time would we know for real in here? We would not. Since we're in the heart of time and- "

"Sweetie?" She opened her green eyes and looked at me as if she was holding her laughter.

'Yes?"

"You're babbling. Again" She finally laughed and I know I blushed a little.

"Sorry."

"No problem." She kissed me good morning and went to the bathroom do all her humany-wumany, actually, woman-y stuff.

When she came back I realized she was wearing my shirt. When did she put my shirt on? She opened the wardrobe and put a dress out, one of her 'going to the field' brownish dresses, and went back to the bathroom. When back for the second time she was all dressed and with her boots as well.

"Aren't you getting up? And..." She looked down at my shirtless state. "Getting dressed? Your companion will be up any time soon."

"Er... Right! Meet you in the console room in five."

"Fine." She stepped out of the room and I got up, trying not only to make me presentable to my companion but to keep myself put together for River.

Later I appeared in the console room, all tweed and bow tie. Only River was there, my companion was probably still asleep. River was putting some coordinates and I knew they were her place's.

"Thinking of going home without saying goodbye?" I asked, leaning against the console.

"Never." She smiled and pulled some levers. The TARDIS was flying to her place now and I had to say goodbye to her.

"Good. I love a bad girl, but that's way too bad."

"Yes, it is." She pulled me closer by my braces and kissed me. I curled my arms around her shoulders and deepened the kiss, trying not to cry with the knowledge that would be our last kiss, well, at least on her timeline. On mine? I had no idea. Her hands made their way up my back and mine went to her hair and face. I wished I could keep every inch of her in my memory forever, so I was trying to make that kiss to last as long as possible. River was in control and I didn't care a bit, I just wanted her in any I could.

Both my hearts were racing and I felt my eyes getting wet, but had to keep control just for a few moments. Then River gently bit my lower lip and pulled back, smiling at me. I knew in that moment it was over. So very over. Our last kiss. The Oncoming Storm and The Child of the TARDIS. I didn't even know if I'd still see younger versions of her. That could be the very end not just for her, but for me. Either way it hurted in a insane way. She'd die either damn way. I hugged her, trying not to look too scared or desperated.

"See you next time, sweetie." River said, pulling away from my embrace with her best smile.

"See you, my love." It took all my strenght do be able do say those words.

River winked and walked towards the TARDIS' doors. I went after her and stopped by the doors. I watched as she left my ship. It was so hard to keep it together, to avoid telling her everything, making her not to come to the Library. Even though I sort of knew she would go either way.

"Don't forget... What I said at Darillium about love and trust. Ever"

"I won't. Don't worry. Now go back inside before another version of you shows up here!"She joked.

"As you wish." I answered and closed the doors. I ran to the console and put the TARDIS on it's way to the time vortex again so I could surrender do my feelings.

There had been a long time since the last time I suffered that much, since I let myself feel so deeply. I had tried to build an ice wall around me when I regenarated and she had broken it piece by piece. She conquered my love with all her gunshots and perfection and spoilers and I was sobbing against the console like a comfortless child. My tears had finally gone out of my eyes and were staining my face as my sobbing got louder and both my hearts screamed in pain and desperation.

For God's sake what was happening to me? I knew it all along and had to accept it, right? Everybody knows that everybody dies and she would live forever inside that hardrive. She wasn't properly dead, now was she? Who the hell was I trying to fool? Her brain waves would be in the computer, but I'd never see her or hug her again. I just fell on the TARDIS floor and let my head rest agains the console.

"What's wrong?" I heard the voice of my Companion and jumped. "You're crying. Why are you crying? You never cry!" Great, now I had to find an excuse, but I'd fail miserablely because I couldn't talk properly. Once I had decided to let my cry I couldn't stop it so easily.

"I... I—" I swallowed the tears and looked at her, her figure all blurry. "It's nothing, just go back to bed."

"No, I won't! I've already slept plenty of time! Now, you tell me why on Earth you are crying!" She said, crossing her arms over her chest and looking veriou seriously at me.

"I cannot tell you." I forced myself to say among the tears that insisted on rolling down my face.

"Then I'll guess." Companions were so annoying sometimes, why couldn't I just be alone? "It's about River, obviously. She's the only person in the universe capable of doing this to you. What happened? You had a fight? No...stupid idea. It's worse, isn't it?" My companion seemed absolutely concerned.

"Yes, it is." I admited. "But can't tell you, I'm sorry, it's..."

"Spoilers."

"Yes."

"But you forgot one thing: it's not spoilers. Not to me, at least. It's not my time stream! So you can tell me." She sat beside my on the floor. "You really need a friend right now, you can trust my, just... Tell me what's happening. Please, let me help you."

I had no idea why I was doing that, but I decided to tell her. She was right, I needed a friendly shoulder or whatever the humans call it.

"You were right, it's worse than a fight. Remember when I told you about my timeline with River and the whole timey-wimey mess and spoilers?" She nodded. "River used to say that my firts were her lasts, actually it didn't quite work ike this but the first time I met her a long time ago, it was the last time she met me." I told her, controling the cry the best way I could.

"And by that you mean...? You guys parted your ways...?" Her face expression changed in realization as she saw the pain in my own expression. "Oh my God...She... River di-died?" I had no strenght to do anything but to nod. "So... All that time you were together you knew when and where she'd die?"

"Yes I did and it killed my piece by piece everytime I met her. I knew every meeting meant one step closer to The Library – where she died. She told me back then that the last time she'd seen me I'd taken her to see the Singing Towers of Darillium and... That was... Last night." I looked up to my Companion and she almost screamed in terror. "Now she's going to that stupid Library to meet younger me who doesn't have the slightest ideia who the hell she's supposed to be and she'll die, just in front of me, and she'll say her last words looking into my eyes and they won't express the love hers did. She always said she thought the worst day of her life would be the one I wouldn't know her and it happened to be the last os her days."

"Doctor, River is strong! She'll go through it just fine, I mean she's been preparing herself for that and—"

"No! She won't! I remember it well, the look in her eyes, the pain, suffering. She asking me please to tell her I knew who she was..."

"And you didn't..."

"I didn't. Either way she sacrificed herself for me all over again. First her regenerations, second her freedom and finally her life. I could have died in her place, but she wouldn't let me because I had all out story to live yet and if i died there she would never had met me." When I thought I had controlled myself I was crying again.

"How did she die?"

"The Library was...Filled with Vashta Nerada, those things that stay in the dark and eat flesh, well it was a problem and the computer tried to teleport thousands of people at the same time and it failed so those people ended up saved inside the hardrive. We had to plug a living mind to that computer so all those people could be brought back safely. I volunteered but River knocked me down and when I woke up I was handcuffed and she was attached to the computer. The electric discharge was too strong, it killed her instantly." I buried my face in my hands. "I gave her a sort of an afterlife, you know.. the best I could."

"What do you mean?"

"I managed to keep her brain waves saved inside the screwdriver I gave to her. After she died and my younger self plugged it in the computer so she could live there, in a perfect world, in a perfect life, forever. I saved her the best I could. "

"It wasn't enough. I can see it in your face." Then I realized my companion was crying too. "You wanted to save her for real." I nodded and she smiled among the tears. "Then do it! Save her, save your wife for God's sake!"

"I cannot. I wished I could, but-."

"Why? Oh, wait. Is it fixed? Her death is a fixed point in time?"

"No but me must be there, otherwise she'd never met me. We'd never be us." My companion hold my hands, comforting me. "It might sound very selfish of me but I cannot giver her up, everything we lived together."

"I understand. Believe me, I do Doctor. You love her and cannot give it up, it's not selfish, it's love. I know River, she wouldn't give your story up either."

"That's the point! I promised her, right before she died I wouldn't change time to save her because she knew it meant we would have never happened. Now my hands are tied, see why I can't save her?"

"Oh, dear Doctor. River's right, you know? About you when you're emotional." She'd stopped crying and looked very very smug. Why was she giving me that smug look?

"What? Why are you saying that now? You were supposed to be comforting me!"

She wiped my tears with the sleeve of her dressing gown and caressed my cheeks, still looking at me as if she knew something very obvious I didn't have the first clue about.

"Because no, I don't see why you can't save her. I see why you can't prevent her from going to The Library."

"That's the same! 'Cause she dies there!" If making me mad was her way of making me to stop crying, it was working.

"Not it isn't!" Suddenly she rose on her feet and I followed her, very confused. "Listen to me, the fact she must be there doesn't mean we can't save her after she gets there!"

"You mean crossing my time stream." I tried to sound serious and concerned.

"Oh, like you have never done it before." She rolled her eyes and I felt all my blood in my cheeks for a moment. "Thought so."

"I can't just drag River away from the chair and into the TARDIS like that. There'd be still thousands of people trapped in that hardrive! She'd never accept to just let them there or to let someone die in her behalf. Told you, nobody could survive that! I thought all of this before, had two hundred years to do so!"

"Two hundred emotional years! Now I am going to get dressed and when I come back we'll save River! Be right back!"