Bella's Point of View

Something should be said about the bond between brothers. I, myself, not having a sibling or the expertise in the area of sibling love couldn't speak from experience as to its magnitude however, from an outsider's perspective and an active participant in such love, can attest to the validity of such a statement. I had the pleasure of meeting two of the greatest men to ever walk this earth. Jake and Jonathan were not only my best friends but a true testament to how strong the bond can be between brothers. It was only through them that I discovered what love truly demanded of us and how through one person's sacrifice, another person regained their chance to live.

Jake and Jonathan were born identical twins on July 4, 1984, and to say they made their entrance into this world with a bang was an understatement. The fight they made in the womb would be a constant thorn in their mother's side throughout their lives. Jake pushed his way out quiet easily, making his appearance into this world first. However, being the feistier one of the two, he managed to get the umbilical cord wrapped around his brother's neck before existing, making Jonathan's arrival delayed by two minutes. Jonathan arrived shortly after via emergency c-section, a slight shade of blue but still just as healthy as Jake.

I first met Jake and Jonathan when we were toddlers. My parents were best friends with their parents so naturally we were in the company of one another daily. Our time mostly comprised of breaking up the fights between the brothers over superiority. It really didn't help that Sarah, their mother, dressed them the same and never really gave them any measure of individuality. Granted she loved them equally but by having them do everything the same, it made the twins fight constantly, each one trying to assert their individuality and superiority over the other. If one caught a fish the other had to catch a larger one. If one twin took my hand the other was soon to follow. I often expressed to them that they were both my best friends and I loved them equally, but that never stopped them from trying to outshine one another.

It would seem that their tantrums and fights subsided slightly as we got older. At least during high school they were exposed to an array of various activities they could excel at independently thus gaining the individuality they thirsted for. They longed to be known for their personal talents rather than as a joint effort. I knew what made Jake different from Jonathan and vice versa. However, everyone else just assumed that because they were identical twins, looking and acting essentially the same that their core was the same as well, and this couldn't be farther from the truth. They each possessed characteristics unique to them. Jake was a jock in every sense of the word. He was involved in every sport imaginable whereas Jonathan was more sensitive and artistic resulting in his participation in Glee Club and theatre. These two could not be more different. Sure aesthetically they looked the same but the true nature of who they were, was vastly different.

Naturally growing up with these two I knew more than the average girl. I knew Jake liked PB&J without the crust while Jonathan is allergic to peanuts and liked just plain jelly sandwiches. I knew Jake liked brunettes with big tits while Jonathan enjoyed blondes with a brain between their eyes. You would think being around these two as long as I had and knowing almost everything about them, there might have been some sort of romantic connection between us but there truly wasn't. I think it was the simple fact that I just knew way too much about them and it was more of a turn off then a turn on for me. They were more like my brothers then potential boyfriends at least at that point in my life.

However, Jonathan had convinced me I had hidden talent and that I should try out for the school play. To appease his constant nagging I tried out and surprisingly enough, was cast as Juliet in the the school's rendition of Romeo & Juliet. Shortly after that, Jonathan and I became a little more than just best friends and costars. We spent countless evenings practicing our lines and our scripted kiss scenes. To say our first try turned into a no holds bar make out session was not too far from the truth. If it wasn't for Sarah interrupting Jonathan and I, that night would have marked the loss of both of our virginities. Needless to say I fell for him hard. We became ever more inseparable than we originally had been. I tried to keep my friendship with Jake the same as it always had been, but Jake didn't take my relationship with his brother well. Being a jock, he had a very competitive mentality and thought he was the better choice for me than his brother. Everything was a competition for Jake. He had to be the best at everything and he couldn't rationalize that life wasn't always about being the best of the best.

It wasn't until during the playoff football game that Jake truly was faced with a battle that not even the most trained of athlete's could handle alone. Jonathan and I sat in the stands as we did every Friday night, cheering our school football team during their playoff game. Jonathan had been mentioning for a few days that he had been feeling a slight twinge in his chest. I suggested he see a doctor but he quickly dismissed it as indigestion. We sat in the stands screaming our asses off as Jake ran the ball down the field. He was a mere 10 yards from the goal line when he stopped short, dropped the ball, removed his helmet, clung to his chest and collapsed on the field. I gasped at the sight while turning to Jonathan, noticing he was balled over crying in pain. They say that twins have an unconfirmed connection, that whatever one felt the other exhibited the same feeling or pain. Before today I would have laughed in their faces at the insinuation or the possibility of that being true, however, here I stood a witness to this very fact. I was torn between running onto the field to help Jake and seeking aid for my boyfriend who sat behind me slumped over in pain. Thinking about it now makes me laugh. That decision was a piece of cake compared to the decision Jake and Jonathan had to make shortly after that tragic day.

After a battery of tests, it was determined that Jake was suffering from a rare form of Leukemia. Without a bone marrow transplant Jake had no chance of finishing out the year. I had never experienced pure pain, fear and sadness until that day. I sat there and tried to be strong, holding Jonathan's hand as the news was being delivered, trying to be a comfort to him. How do you comfort someone whose world had been ripped apart at the seams beyond human comprehension? How do you tell someone everything will be ok when it won't? All I could do was be strong for him, for Jake and his family. I internalized my pain to remain strong. I did what any friend would do, I suffered in silence. I cried myself to sleep most nights so that by the following day, I was all smiles.

Over the next several weeks all of us had gotten tested to see who could be a prime candidate for the transplant. The Black's along with myself were completely taken back by the outpouring of the community and their willingness to help in any way possible. Unfortunately not one came back as a match. We all sat with baited breath when the doctor called with the final test result. Like a miracle sent down from heaven, Jonathan tested positive, he was a perfect match. Sure the procedure would be painful but it didn't matter, this was for his brother, his twin, his partner in crime. There was nothing he wouldn't do or give to save his brothers life.

The surgery was scheduled for that Wednesday. As I sat between the hospital beds, holding Jonathan's hand in my left and Jake's hand in my right while they were being prepped for surgery, I couldn't contain the tears as they streamed down my cheek. I loved these two men with every fiber of my being. Both were my best friends and the only true constant in my insignificant life. They each offered words of comfort in an effort to silence my tears but all it did was make them come more steadily. I watched the two men in my life roll into the operating room and watched only one come out. It wasn't until we met with the doctor that they had told us of an unforeseen complication during surgery. That Jonathan had a heart condition that had gone under the radar during testing. His heart was weak and coupled with the anesthesia; it just made his condition ten times worse. We went from praying for Jake to now turning our attention to Jonathan. Apparently without a heart transplant, Jonathan wouldn't last more than a few weeks. It was as if God couldn't have one brother he required the other. My heart filled with hatred, resentment and anger. I was angry at God for allowing such a thing to happen. Angry Jonathan was so stubborn and had not gotten checked out sooner and just mad at myself for not doing more for the both of them.

The days that followed that awful news, I found myself sitting with Jonathan everyday in the hospital, smiling and entertaining his conversation all the while dying inside each moment I sat there. I found myself growing more and more bitter. Why did Jake get to life while Jonathan suffered? It wasn't until Jake sat with Jonathan and I one night, that I saw I was not alone in my pain. Jake embraced his brother and apologized for his disease as if he had any control over it. We all knew it wasn't Jake's fault, including Jake, but he felt like if he had not gotten sick then his brother would still be fighting and carrying on as they always had.

During his final moments, Jonathan provided a sense of mental peace for Jake. Jonathan bestowed his words of wisdom while I sobbed knowing I was about to lose my best friend and true love of my life. I clung to him and demanded he fight for his life, if not for himself than for his brother and family. He comforted me with his last breath. He took my hand and placed it in Jake's. He then covered are united hands with his. "Take care of her Jake. Love her as I have. Promise me" he whispered softly. I bit my quivering lip, trying to contain the screams of hurt that threatened to escape my lips. He then looked to me and whispered "Take care of him Bella. He will need your strength and love now more than ever. I will always love you Bells. You have been my light and true love since we were kids. Promise me you will take care of him."

Jake and I both whispered "I promise" knowing that just hearing the words would allow Jonathan the relief he needed to finally let go.

The flat lining alarm came just moments later and that was the night I said goodbye to the one true love of my life. Through our grief Jake and I grew closer. We eventually married and had our own set of twins. Every so often I catch a glimpse of Jonathan in Jake and my heart clenches just a bit each time, reminding me he still holds a place near and dear to my heart. Each time I feel it, I silently call his name, acknowledging the man that made my life complete. It was for the love of his brother, that Jonathan gave his life to save Jake's. I had never experienced a love quiet like that before, but now looking at my children, I could see exactly why Jonathan did what needed to be done. My life was forever changed having met and loved Jonathan Black. He was a true testament to the unconditional and unselfish love of a brother.

As I sit here with my children on my lap and show them the portrait I drew in high school of my two men, I remind them of how wonderful their uncle was and how his decision is what made mommy and daddy fall in love. I tell them his story not only because it keeps his memory fresh in my mind, but because I want them to see that no matter what blood is thicker than water. That the love you have for your sibling is like no other love you will ever experience. That if not for Uncle Jonathan, daddy would not be here. They "yes" me to death each time, but this was my small way of saying thank you to Jonathan. Thank you for providing me the path to find my way to Jake and for making my world just a little brighter by being in it for the short time he was. His love will live on in me, Jake and our children. We will never forget Jonathan's love and unselfish sacrifice and will be forever grateful for him is love.