Spoilers – none
Warnings – mentions and evidence of cutting so triggers maybe and slash! Guys MAN ON MAN KISSING (homophobic? GTFO)
I don't own glee
Enjoy! And please review, I love hearing your reactions
When Kurt transferred to Dalton he didn't expect to be so accepted. He didn't expect to make such good friends. And he certainly didn't expect to fall in love with the most perfect boy on this earth. But something he did expect was that the curly haired, hazel eyed boy wouldn't love him back. Who would? He was Kurt Hummel, sexually harassed and damaged goods, who would ever want him? But the friendly hugs, pats on the back and heart melting smiles were enough for now, he guessed. That's why he sat now, on the edge of a circle of warblers dressed in jeans, sweats and old school shirts in Wes and David's unkempt room as the sun started to set outside behind closed curtains. He only came for the 'warblers boys bonding night' because Blaine begged him (puppy dog eyes, pouted lips and all) because, and I quote, "It'll be fun, Kurt! We'll all get to know each other better and free food Kurt. Free food". So of course Kurt had to come, Dressed in his favourite black skinny jeans and a simple grey button up that hid a white undershirt from sight, he glanced up at Blaine who was sitting at the other side of the circle, clad in black and grey chequered pyjama pants and red and grey Dalton sweat shirt, grinning like an idiot. He caught sight of Kurt's glasz eyes peeking through his long lashes and fixing on his own hazel ones. His grin turned cocky as he sent a playful wink his way and chuckled at the deep blush that graced the fair skin of his friend's cheeks. Kurt looked back down at his hands, curled up daintily in his lap, and internally groaned at the dry skin beginning to form in his nail beds. He had begun thinking up a solution to his moisturizing problem when the deep voice of David snapped his head upwards.
"Kurt! Truth or dare?" the dark skinned boy asked with a menacing glint in his dark irises.
"Oh umm..." Kurt was caught of guard. He'd forgotten what they were playing awhile back, when Blaine had reached for the chocolate chip cookies in the centre of the circle causing his shirt to ride up and allow Kurt to subtly gawk at the creamy dark skin of his lower back. If he did maybe he'd know what kind of truths had been divided out all ready and how personal they were or the kinds of dares that David had given other members and how daring he was. Maybe if it wasn't for the stupid taunt olive skin of the geek god of a boy sitting across from him he would have a better platform for making a choice. His mind was thinking truth but his mouth said "dare"
"dare huh? You're a brave one" nick whispered from next to him, nudging Kurt's side with his elbow. Dam! Kurt had to get a filter for that thing! His mouth was always getting him into trouble. David was sitting up straighter then before, hands rubbing together menacingly. A dark chuckle bubbled from his throat, his dark eyes gleaming and dark. Now that Kurt paid attention he saw the damage to the group of, once, well dressed boys. Jeff's hair was spiked up and spayed a bright pink at the top, Nate had what looked like male gentiles drawn of his cheeks and forehead in black eyeliner (where did they get that?) and the twins were both stripped of there jeans and matching blue tops, now reduced to sitting in their white boxers and dark grey socks. oh no
"Kurt..." the word was long and drawn out in David's low voice (so unlike Kurt's) "I dare you to..." Kurt gulped "...join the twins over there. Shirt and jeans off Hummel!" the group giggled a little at David's choice, they all knew he was just trying to get Blaine to realize his feelings for the angelic boy and get rid of the sexual tension at always followed the pair. Kurt, on the other hand, didn't know David's intentions. His eyes widened in fear at the request, arms instantly winding around his wait and gripping tight. It's not that he issues with his body, oh no, he loved his body; he just didn't want the pity that would surly follow him taking off his shirt. The bruises and shallow cuts from dumpster tosses and locker shoves had yet to fade. They seem to stay tight in his skin, reminding him everyday that he was damaged goods. He liked cloths so much because they hid him. Hid who he was while screaming to the world who he wanted to be, strong and confident, not damaged and imperfect. But to all the other boys it was an innocent enough request.
"d-David? Can I forfeit or something? I-if I don't want to do this?" Kurt's cheeks held a deep blush while his eyes scanned the room for some escape
"no forfeits warbler Kurt. Sorry" David shrugged but you could see the hint of guilt in his eyes for pushing Kurt past a comfort zone. Kurt nodded jerkily, looking down at his lap while tears welled in his eyes.
"Kurt?" Blaine spoke softly, leaning into the centre of the circle "you don't have to do this if you don't want to. We won't make you-"
"no" Kurt's voice was steady but strained as he raised his head to look at the group "no, I can do this Blaine. I was dared after all" he took a few deep breaths before standing up and turning so his cotton clad back faced the group. After a few more breaths he tugged off his button up, folding it neatly and handing it to nick. He closed his eyes and took three steady controlled breaths before pulling off his undershirt with shaking hands. As expected the group gasped at what was revelled to them. The pale canvas skin of Kurt's back was riddled with deep purple bruises; some hand shaped some the shape of locker locks. Cuts ran in cross cross pattens across his lower back and shoulder blades where glass from the dumpsters had broken and cut before school all those months ago. With a low head and tears in his eyes Kurt turned to face the group, resulting in another round of gasps. His chest, though well toned with a subtly 6-pack hidden unless he stretched, was worse. Cuts across his stomach and upper arms, self made months ago until Blaine saved him, purple and yellow bruises on his pecks and hips from the hockey team's attacks. Blaine was in tears, a lump in his throat making it hard to breathe, his eyes fixed on a deep cut that stretched across Kurt's lower rib cage to the top of his belly button.
"Kurt-" his voice was thick and stained. He took a moment to clear his throat before continuing "Kurt, I'm so sorr-"
"DON'T even Finnish that sentence Blaine. I don't want your pity. I knew this would happen" Kurt cut of Blaine with a vicious snare. His voice sharp and clear. He snatched his button up from Nick's hands and made his way towards the door
"Kurt!" Blaine jumped from his seat, rushing over to his friend. He reached out and grabbed hold of Kurt's elbow, tugging him gently to a stop "don't go. Please. I-I don't pity y-"
"shut up Blaine. I can see it in your eyes-in the eyes of everyone here! You all pity little Kurtie. The poor baby, so small so innocent. I'm soiled stock, Blaine, in more ways then one. And now you all know" angry tears were running down his cheeks as he finished, eyes full of fear and guilt boring into those of his friend. He spat a finale "don't pity me" to the olive skinned teen before ripping his arm from his grip and storming out the door. Blaine simply watched the door close with a thud, overwhelmed by Kurt's actions. His arm still remained in the air, hand curled in a lose fist as it now gripped the air were Kurt one was. He listened as the light foot steps and broken sobs from the other side of the mahogany wood faded into silence before turning to the group, jaw set tight and anger bubbling in his chest. The anger wasn't directed at Kurt who shouted in his face or David who forced the dare, no, Blaine was angry with himself. Angry that it took him this long. Angry that he was so blind. Angry that Kurt had to suffer such an ordeal in order for Blaine to realize his feelings. To realize he loved this boy. Blaine loved Kurt Hummel. He kicked the closest thing to him (a set of oak drawers) out of frustration before crumpling to the floor, his head hanging low in the cradle of his arms as his fingers grasped his lose black curls tight.
"um Blaine" Blaine didn't move as Wes' voice reached him. He simply grunted in response, to angry to give an intelligent response "w-what did Kurt mean? You know soiled stock?" Blaine lifted his head slowly, letting it think against the maroon painted wall. Could he tell? It was Kurt's story after all. Would he want them to know? He exhaled Loud and Long eyes rolling towards the ceiling, searching for cracks
"I-" he cleared his throat "Kurt he-he didn't transfer just because he was being bullied guys. He-oh god I shouldn't be telling you this-the guy that was bullying him was a closet case, a bad one. Kurt when't to stand up to him and-oh god Kurt was so small-he forced himself on to Kurt, guys. He kissed him, sexual harassment. Kurt...Kurt's still is trying to get over it. He-he said he felt dirty, when he told me, damaged. I just-I didn't know what to do! I tried to get the guy to back off but he was so big...oh god" he wiped the tear tracks from his cheeks "I-I have to talk to Kurt. I have to talk to him right now" Blaine stood up and ran to David's bed, finding his hoddie in the pile and throwing it on haphazardly.
"Blaine wait!" Blaine's hand hovered over the brass door knob, waiting for Jeff to Finnish his sentence "take care of him mate" with a stiff nod Blaine ran from the room.
Kurt sat on his bed, undershirt tugged back over his bruised torso, curled up in the foetal position. His eyes had glazed over but he didn't blink, he was to tired. His eyes stayed fixed on the cordial stain on his white walls from his and Blaine's last movie night. The tears had long gone and the dry sobs had stopped just moments ago leaving a stuffy silence in the air. He heard the patter of socked footsteps but didn't heed it much mind. He just kept on staring at that stain. There was a light knock on the door. He ignored it. There was a another knock and a whisper of 'kurt'. He ignored it. The door creaked open. He ignored it. But when of soft hand laid on his waist his bolted upright, scrambling to sit against the headboard.
"I'm so sorry Kurt. I didn't mean to scare you" Blaine whispered to the older boy, slowly taking a seat at the foot of the bed.
"what are you doing here?" Kurt's voice was weak and small. It made Blaine's heart break to hear him so venerable
"I needed to talk to you"
"then talk" he snapped. Blaine winced at the tone but nodded
"you're not damaged, Kurt, you're not 'soiled goods' as you say. You're perfect in every way. And what ever happened in your past, it doesn't make you any less. ok?" Kurt's face stayed unemotional. Jaw and eyes set in stone. They stayed in a suspenseful silent until a sniffle broke the silence. Tears feel silently from Kurt's eyes, sticking to his lashes and making salty tracks on his cheeks.
"why...why would you lie to me like that? I thought I could trust you" Blaine felt like he had been slapped in the face with an icy hand. How could Kurt not believe him?
"I'm not lying, kurt-"
"-you said I was perfect-"
"-and I meant that! you are perfect! You are-"
"-I'm no where near perfect, Blaine. I'm sorry but I'm not. You don't have to lie to me just to make me happy" silence again. Blaine had to prove to Kurt how perfect he is, how beautiful he is! Blaine reached out for Kurt's hand, finding confidence when Kurt didn't shy away. He shuffled forwards on his knees until their foreheads were millimetres away from each other, breath fanning each others cheeks. Blaine gently cupped a plump tear stained cheek in his rough palm, tilting Kurt's eyes to lock into his.
"Pretty pretty please!
Don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please
If you ever ever feel like you're nothing you are perfect to me." Blaine sung softy. Kurt let out a soft laugh, eyes shying away and a blush creeping across the bridge of his nose
"trust you to quote pink" he expected a laugh out of Blaine, but his face stayed set. Determination screaming from his eyes.
"it's true. You are perfect, Kurt. And I'm going to show you" Blaine tugged at Kurt's undershirt till it bunched up at his arm pits "and I'm never going to stop showing you" he pulled the white cotton of completely "until you believe you are" he threw to cotton somewhere behind him, they could find it later, and tugged Kurt to sit in the middle of the bed, cross legged and shaking slightly
"Blaine-"
"shh just...trust me" Blaine stood from the bed, moving to sit behind Kurt. The bed dipped a little as Blaine's weight was re-added to the springs "Kurt" it was a whisper, but it was strong, digging deep into Kurt's heart making it swell. No. He couldn't feel this way about Blaine any more. They were friends. Just friends "Kurt, I want you to know, that these scars. These bruises. They don't make you damaged" blaine leaned in, hands on Kurt's hips and lips ghosting over a particularly nasty bruise just under his shoulder blade. Kurt jumped as Blaine swung down and kissed the bruise softly with dry lips "they make you strong" Kurt relaxed into the touch as Blaine's thumbs kneaded circles into the Jean clad flesh.
"Blaine-"
"if you want me to stop I will. I just need you to know how perfect you are" his breath hit one of the glass cuts on Kurt's back as he spoke making an involuntary shiver run down the pale boys spine. All Kurt could do was nod as Blaine snuck another kiss to the hand shaped bruise in the centre of his back "I love you Kurt" another kiss "I love you so much and I'm so sorry it took me so long to realize it" kiss "I just hope" kiss "that you feel" kiss "the same way" kiss, kiss "about me". Kurt's eyes lit up, his heart thumped against his rib cage. Blaine loved him. He said it. Wait? Was he dreaming? He had to be dreaming.
"I-Blai-did you-lov-"
"yes you heard right" kiss" i love" kiss "you" kiss "Kurt Hummel" a sob ripped from Kurt's chest. Tears fell from his eyes and onto his knees "oh god kurt. I so sorry. I-I shouldn't have loaded that on you after such an ordeal-"
"Don't take it back, never take it back! please Blaine!" Kurt flung around to face Blaine, hands on his shoulders and knees in tucked between Blaine's open ones "you-I-we-I love you to. God that feels good to get off my chest!" he sighed as a watery smile graced his face "I love you, Blaine Anderson. I love you. I lov-" he was silences by Blaine's lips on his, dry but insistent against soft and surprised. Their lips moulded together easily. Blaine's arms wrapped around Kurt's thin waist, fingers digging gently in to his back, tugging him in close. Kurt's hands found their way to the mess of curls a top Blaine's head, tugging and positioning blaine to fit them better. They pulled away breathless and blushing, wide grins plastered on their faces.
"Kurt? Is it ok if I keep showing you how perfect you are?" Blaine's eyes travelled down to the same cut across Kurt's ribs again, recognizing the signs of self harm (he was trapped there once to).
"yeah, yeah that's fine" Kurt mumbled, still unconvinced that Blaine could find anything remotely perfect about him. Blaine placed a guitar calloused hand against his chest, gently pushing him to lay back against the soft comforter. Blaine straddled his thighs and sat down on them. He let his finger tips travel down Kurt's side to rest on his waist while the other hand moved up to cradle the back of this angels head.
"I love you hair" a soft kiss to the brown stands "the way it feels, smells. The way it always looks perfect even when it's as messy as it is now" Kurt's hand shot up to try and fix the mused stands but Blaine's got there first. Lacing their fingers together and laying them back against the mattress. He chuckled fondly into the stands before moving down to Kurt's ears "i love your ears. The shape, the subtly point, their so elvish like. So perfect" a kiss to the shell "I love you eyes. Are they blue? Are they green? I can never tell. Yet, I know they are the most beautiful colour I have ever seen. So perfect, so you" a kiss to his temple "I love you cheek bones. So high, so perfect" a kiss to the cheek "I love your nose. So cute, all thin and small" an Eskimo kiss "I love you lips. I love how perfectly they form around words, wether your singing or talking. I love how pink and soft they are. But most of all I. Love the way they so perfectly fit mine. Like they were made for me" a peck to the lips. He moved down Kurt's body, listing off what he loved about each aspect of creamy skin. The word 'perfect' always present in the air around them "Kurt. I need to know. Did you do this to yourself?" blaine asked softly as his lips hovered over that large cut, fingers tracing the scared flesh.
"when I said you saved me, blaine, I meant it" came the breathy reply. Blaine looked up at Kurt through his lashes. He looked at the blushing boy, his chest Rising and falling gently. Looking at this boy, so brave so strong, admitting a moment of weakness. A dark moment of weakness. He moved up to Kurt's lips, leaving a lingering kiss there before speaking
"your not alone" he whispered as Kurt's hand came to grip Blaine's bicep
"I know"
"no. I mean you. Are. Not. Alone" a tear fell from Blaine's eye on to Kurt's cheek as he stood up and reached for the draw strings on his pyjama pants. He untied the single knot and let them pool around his ankles before stepping out of them and glancing over to Kurt to judge his reaction. Kurt's eyes were wide, hand over his mouth holding in a gasp, and fixed on the endless scars that cross crossed over Blaine's thighs. The word 'homo' stood out proud just underneath the bottom of Blaine's boxer briefs. Kurt's eyes weld with tears, unshed and stinging his eyeballs.
"Blaine? Oh god. Come here" he opened his arms wide and waited for Blaine to snuggle up into his side. Kurt's fingers grazed the word scared on Blaine's flawless olive skin, tears finally shedding, hot, tick and fast down his cheeks "oh Blaine. My Blaine. Why-"
"if you get told it enough, you start to believe it" Blaine laughed, broken and hollow. His hands gripped tighter onto Kurt's jeans, clearly holding back tears "you're not alone" a kiss on the cheek "you are never alone" Blaine sighed. Kurt raised his hand to wrap around the back of Blaine's neck, playing with the curls at the nape of his neck.
"you are perfect to me" a kiss on the lips
A/N - "fucking perfect" - pink. Any way. Thanks for reading guys. Means ALLOT? review? Please. I would really like some constructive feedback on this. I'm still getting the hang of klaine :)
