This was popped out of my mind out of nowhere, so I decide to write it here.

Disclaimer: Fire Emblem belongs to Nintendo. I only write this fic just for pure fun. The following characters mentioned here belongs to their respective owners.

Second: English is my second language so expect some grammatical errors that you will encounter throughout the story.

Third: This is inspired by 'Skippy's list' at the same time 'things no longer allowed to do ' fanfics.


Dear Order of the Heroes:

Due to the massive headache that I've got and some shenanigans that are happening here, I decide to list some things that you will NOT allowed to do while you are in Askr:

1. For all that is holy, do NOT intervene with my strategy. I know that all of you tacticians are wanted to get your crazy ideas on the battlefield.

2. Narcien and Subaki are NOT allowed to have a perfection contest.

3. Arvis is NOT allowed to 'barbeque' Sigurd while he is still here.

4. Arvis is really NOT allowed to 'barbeque' Seliph. I don't want an angry Deidre smack you with her tome.

5. Stahl is NOT allowed to sneak into the kitchen to get some food. I don't want some of our resident cooks here to be on the rampage when they find out that the food is gone.

6. Do NOT use the Falchions to slay our resident manaketes, especially Ninian, for some stupid reasons. I don't want an angry Eliwood to chased you all with Durandal. Yes Marth, Lucina, Alm and Chrom; that means the four of you.

7. Ike and Roy are NOT allowed to complain why they don't have third costumes aside their CYL costume and their basic costume.

8. Black Knight is NOT allowed to refer his 'Black Luna' skill as 'Eclipse'. Ike is already angry now.

9. While some of you are still salty for losing the voting gauntlet, please do NOT be angry at the winners because the reason why they win is fanservice. Ike is already complaining to me now!

10. 'Distant Counter' is really a pain in the butt so all tome wielding users and colorless people are NOT allowed to complain about being hit by them.

11. Connected to number 10, the red people are NOT allowed to complain why they are hit by Reinhardt's Dire Thunder tome.

12. Connected to numbers 3&4, Sigurd and Seliph are NOT allowed to steal Roy's Binding Blade and use it to 'barbeque' Arvis for good measures.

13. Celica and Faye are NOT allowed to have a swimsuit competition so that Alm might noticed both of you. He is already fainted from seeing you in THAT.

14. Connected to number 13, Camilla and Tharja are NOT allowed to have a swimsuit competition. Do you want our males to be perverts?!

15. While all of you are allowed to have a food fight, please don't throw some daggers or utensils while doing that.

16. Saizo is NOT allowed to kill Gaius just because the latter is offering candy. Do you know that your son looks like him?

17. Odin/Owain is NOT allowed to make jokes on Laslow/Inigo while he is donned in his dancer costume.

18. Valter is NOT allowed to stalk Eirika, especially at night. Ephraim and Seth will kill you.

19. Making incest jokes is FORBIDDEN, so we don't want some angry siblings chased you like a pack of wild animals if you joke.

20. Ryoma is NOT allowed to make fun of Xander's Easter or Swimsuit costume. He is crying in the corner now.

21. All of you are NOT allowed to ask how all of you was summoned here by using this. I'm going to smack you all with it if you question me again.

22. Karel is NOT allowed to challenge Ayra in a duel.

23. Karel is really NOT allowed to challenge anyone with swords in a duel. I will get your brother-in-law and your niece to smack you in the head.

24. Hector is NOT allowed to murder all blue people, especially Reinhardt. He is cowering in the corner now.

25. Clarisse and Legion are NOT allowed to assassinate Marth. The Smash Group will kill you instead.

26. While some of you are wondering why some of the other heroes aren't summon yet, you are NOT allowed to bribe Feh with feathers.

27. Peri is NOT allowed to stab the red people for fun. Zephiel is already pissed at you now.

28. All archers are not allowed to use your ally Pegasus Knights and Dragon Knights as a live dummies. They are having a strike against you now!

29. Leo is NOT allowed to use Takumi as a live dummy. He'll turn you into a walking porcupine.

30. Gunter, Jeigan, Frederick and Titania are NOT allowed to boot camping the entire training grounds. The Elibeans (especially Hector) and the Judgralis are thankful because Marcus and Oifey aren't summon yet or else it will be a riot.

There will be more but I need to get some sleep because Anna is complaining about Alfonse's dilemma about Zacharias aka Prince Bruno. Again.

-Kiran.


You can suggest your ideas, if you like!

Criticism is welcome!