General C. H. Melchett sat behind his former secretary's desk. Former secretary because he had sent said secretary off to the Big Push and for some reason that noone in power really understood most of the men seemed to die in the process. Melchett did not expect to see Captain Darling again. He did not, in fact, expect to see any of the brave men he'd sent off to their deaths again. And when there was a knock at the door, the person on the otherside was not expected.
The knock in and of itself was sharp, quick and impatient. The other party wanted in, and they wanted in Now.
"Come in!" The General called absently, shuffling a couple of papers. He couldn't make any sense of the order the papers were in. The actual order the papers were in would someday (and might already) be called alphabetical order. The door open and a man limped in.
He was filthy, covered in mud and dust and gore. His left leg was bleeding profusely. There was a large streak of blood down the hallway and this blood and mud was pooling on the carpet. His eyes were wide, slightly deranged, but haunted. As though they had witnessed something no living creature should ever have to see. His forehead sports a large cut. It was bleeding sluggishly, the blood trickled over his eyebrows and down his cheeks, mingling with fresh tears. On his head was a beat up metal helmet, under his right arm was another beat up metal helmet. It was streaked with mud and blood and had bits of skin and what might have been gray matter stuck to it's underside.
In his right hand was a gun.
Melchett looked at the gun, and then looked at the man. It was Blackadder. Captain Blackadder. He survived. Wow. And... and he was pulling back the safety of the gun, leveling it to Melchett's head.
"Now what the devil do you think you're doing, Blackadder?"
He smiled a twisted evil smile. It was quite interesting, really. The lower half of his face looked rather evil and sadistic, while the upper half of his face was tall but torn with terror.
"I am aiming a brand new service revolver right between the eyes of your thick head." He said hoarsely. He coughed a bit, hacking something up. He spat a mixture of blood and dirt onto the floor and refocused his attention back on the General. "But, I'm sure you noticed that, didn't you General Oblivious?"
"This is a court martial offense, Blackadder, I'll have you know that-!"
"You'll have me know what? You'll parade me around being terribly, horridly bureaucratic and then put me against a wall and shoot me? You think that scares me? You think that after running through a muddy, body littered field, that the threat of a bloody court martial sends terror into my heart?" He let out a sharp laugh. The he spoke quieter. "You think I want to live?"
"Alright son, you've been thought a terrible experience-"
This was the wrong thing to say.
"A terrible experience!" Blackadder scoffed, the gun wavered slightly, but didn't lose it's target. "I've just had the only person that mattered to me in the world has just died. Right in front of me. In my bloody arms Melchett! Hole in the head. Brains spattered." His left hand patted down the uniform. "I think I've still got chunks of them on my uniform."
"Who?" Melchett asked, unable to think of anything else to say to calm the man before him. The one whose hand was shaking, if he shot now, the bullet would probably go through an eye rather than between them.
"Kevin, Melchett. Kevin." A look of nonrecognition. "Captain Darling walrus face. Your secretary. The man whose desk you are disorganizing. The man who is lying cold and dead on No Man's Land like everyone else. The only person I've ever loved. The boy you sent to his death."
The hand shook harder now, Melchett let his eyes stray from the weapon to the man holding it. He was crying again. Huge shuddering sobs that wracked his entire body. Tears that washed away the dirt and blood from his cheeks.
"I..." Melchett couldn't think of anything to say. He had no way to justify himself.
But Blackadder had regained what composure he still had.
"You... you you you. It's all about you. You and anyone with enough shiny medals to not be worth the risk. This is your war, why aren't you fighting it?"
"I have-"
"A wooden heart and a wooden bladder, right. Or is it rubber? Maybe stone. A stone heart and a wooden bladder. I don't want your excuses Melchett. I don't want you apologies. I want Darling back. I want to fight with him. I want to steal his toothpaste. I want to kiss him like a never got to before he died. I want him back, General. Now."
Melchett froze. What was he to do.
"I'm sor-"
"I just said I didn't want your apologies. I told you what I want and you can't give it to me."
He pulled the trigger.
Despite the shaking the bullet soared true. Right between the eyes, Melchett was dead instantly. Blackadder stared at the body of his former General and started to cry softly again. He walked to the desk and put the other helmet on it. He rifled through the papers, looking at the achingly familiar handwriting. He calmly raised the gun to his temple.
"I'll be there in a minute Darling. Don't you pull rank on me."
a/n: I've said it already, but Holy Crap that was depressing to write.
