A.N.: This story was based on a prompt that I got from my friend a while back, which was: "One of the Marauders has to say 'Bitch, please'".
Warning: One use of mild language.
Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter.
"I think that went well."
"Padfoot, in what universe did that go well?"
"I don't follow."
"Pad, we are locked in a broom cupboard."
"Relax, Moony, we'll be fine!"
"I'm sure that it supposed to be reassuring, but it's not."
"Can you please stop fighting? I feel like Daniel in the Lion's Den."
"Who?"
"Never mind."
"Don't worry! I've got this!"
"Uh oh."
"What?"
"The last time you said that, we got locked in a broom cupboard."
"Ah. Yes. Well this time, I do have it!"
"Pad, are you sure this is going to work?"
"Bitch, please, I'm Sirius Black."
