The Worst Mission Ever

Premise: Shikamaru has been assigned the most boring mission ever, to be an emissary to the country of Wind, a terribly hot country with hardly a cloud in the sky. What ever will he do? Shikamaru/Temari

Temari folded her fan, placing it back over her back. The fight was over. Whoever that was must have died in that final attack. Shikamaru looked on in amazement. She had defeated her opponent in a single strike, when moments ago he had been advising retreat. It stung his pride that she wouldn't listen to his advice, even if she knew her capabilities better than he. What power she had gained though, and he had been thinking he was a badass just because now he could actually hurt someone he caught with his jutsu. There was no way he could come as close as he had to beating her now.

'What a troublesome person...' he thought to himself, '...Worse than my mother.'

"How's that, it's over already." Temari turned to him, grinning widely.

"No problem, huh?"

Shikamaru just looked at her, maybe being saved by a girl wasn't so bad. She at least deserved a simple thank you.

"Er... Thanks, for showing up when you did." Shikamaru rubbed the back of his head with his uninjured hand, he hated being embarrassed, and didn't even know why he should be. Temari simply grinned again, Shikamaru wished she'd stop doing that.

"It's no problem, I would never lose to you twice." Temari said

"What are you talking about twice? I gave up, I was out of Chakra."

Temari shook her head, "You know as well as I do that you had plenty of Chakra left." Temari's eyes flashed with humor, "You wanted to get out of the next fight and the possibility of becoming a Chunin." How did she know that?

"Hmph, lotta good it did me too." Shikamaru complained. Suddenly he remembered his mission.

"I have to regroup and get Sasuke back." He looked in the direction Naruto had sped off in pursuit, only to see a giant hole in the canopy where Temari's attack had hit. Any trail left would be demolished, requiring them to loop around the crater until they picked it up again, which would take a great deal of time, effectively allowing their enemies to stretch their lead enough to prevent all but the fastest pursuit from overtaking them before entering the heart of Orochimaru's territory. The situation required Shikamaru set out immediately if he wanted any hope of accomplishing his mission... but Kiba and Akamaru were separated from them during the battle, and he was unsure if they were still fighting or not. That fact and that neither Neji nor Chouji had caught up after staying behind worried him. He was confident both of them could defeat their opponents, but if they were unable to follow they might be bleeding their lives out while he stood there indecisive. He needed to save Sasuke to attain mission success, but if he didn't try to regroup his team they might all die.

"Well? What are you standing there with that crease on your brow for? What are we going to do now?" Temari asked impatiently. Shikamaru knew he had only one choice, but still glared at the woman for rushing him to it.

"We regroup, First we need to find Kiba and make sure he's okay." Temari nodded and they both sprang away through the treetops. They followed the trail of the battle for a while, but eventually the signs disappeared. As Shikamaru was expressing colorfully how troublesome this was Kankuro stepped out of the forest, helping along a badly wounded, but bandaged up Kiba with Akamaru slung over his shoulder unconscious.

"What happened to you?" Shikamaru asked, noting the arrival of the second member of the Sand team.

"Oh, this, this is nothing." Kiba declared, though his voice was weak. His face looked pale and it seemed like he had lost a lot of blood. He definitely wasn't going any further. Shikamaru hoped that Naruto would be successful against whoever was left on the Sound ninja's side. For him, it was time to go back and try to save as many members of his team as possible. But he could hardly leave Naruto without any backup whatsoever. A thought suddenly occurred to Shikamaru.

"Temari, Kankuro, is Gaara with you this time?"

"Yes, but he went on ahead, following Naruto's trail."

That settled it, Gaara would be able to provide more assistance to Naruto than all of the rest of them combined. Their purpose now was to save as many teammates as possible.

"Alright, I'm afraid we have to leave our mission in Naruto and Gaara's hands, for now we need to go back and help Neji and Chouji. We're too badly wounded and too far behind to be of any help now. Retreat is our best option." Temari opened her mouth, but closed it again without talking, Shikamaru suspected she was going to poke fun at him, say something like, "Your strategy seems to stem from running away quite a bit." or something to that effect. He sighed, this would be troublesome. He would have suggested Temari go follow the trail, but she was far enough behind now that she'd have little chance of catching up. Not to mention that if they were going to be finding wounded teammates along the way they'd eventually not have enough manpower to carry them all if Temari left. Also, Shikamaru wasn't sure he wanted to send her into harm's way without backup.

"Well then, we might as well go."

The way back seemed much longer than the chase. Kiba slowed them down a significant deal, but when they found Neji they were forced to stop and tend to him. It was amazing he was still alive with wounds as serious as his were. Of course, while he was still alive now, it was unclear if he would last until they got him to the hospital. When they saw Chouji, thin as a rail and unconscious, with the Akimichi pill case lying empty next to him Shikamaru nearly broke down. The ghostly smile on his lips just served to stab him in the heart. His best friend was dead, on his first mission. He owed his friend one thing though, he would be buried a hero if Shikamaru had to work hard for the rest of his life. Temari placed a hand on his shoulder, compassion in her blue eyes. She was trying to communicate without words, because she knew words were too cheap to console him. Shikamaru gave a small smile, thanking her for her effort even if not for her effectiveness.

He hefted the newly thin Chouji over his back, and continued walking. He felt something he never would have expected. A ghost of a breath on his ear... and it kept coming, though irregular and weak, but it was more than anything Shikamaru could have asked for. He wanted to race full speed back home to save his friend but he knew that would probably aggravate his teammates' conditions so he kept a hold on it.

It was none too soon when the giant gates came into view. A quick shout up to the guards allowed them entrance and it wasn't long after that they were swarmed with medical ninjas called in from the hospital. The three that were badly injured were carried away on stretchers and Shikamaru's finger was set in a cast and a light puncture wound on his scalp was wrapped in bandages. His other wounds being superficial he waved the medical ninja away. He made his way over to Temari and Kankuro, neither of which were scratched.

"I need to give my report to the Hokage, I think it'd be best if you were there to explain your role in all of this." Shikamaru said. The two of them nodded.

"I'd also like to know what you're up to myself." Shikamaru continued. Temari smiled slightly and exchanged a glance with Kankuro. That Temari was really starting to annoy him, always smirking and smiling like she knew something he didn't... which she did of course.

No longer weighted down by unconscious teammates they could all move at their full ninja speed. They were at the Ninja Administration Center in moments. Shikamaru had to wait in line behind several Jonin who had apparently finished an A level mission, but it was only a few minutes before Shikamaru was admitted to give his report. He and the two sound ninjas filed in and knelt before the Hokage.

"Alright Mission Commander Shikamaru, give your report on the mission to recover Sasuke."

"As of yet... the mission is inconclusive." Hokage looked up at him.

"What do you mean inconclusive? Did you recover Sasuke or not?"

"While pursuing Sasuke a number of us were badly injured and separated. I left Naruto in charge of catching up to Sasuke, though I came to this decision knowing that Gaara of the Desert was assisting him."

"That leads into my next question, why are the shinobi of the sand here?" Shikamaru hesitated.

"You would have to ask them, I do not know."

"We come as messengers from the new Kazekage. Gaara was carrying the letter we were to bring to you, but we were informed that we were to place ourselves in your service as a token of goodwill towards the Leaf." Kankuro volunteered, not needing the Hokage's prompting after Shikamaru's reference.

"We happened upon a battle on our way, we recognized ninja from the leaf from the Chunin Exam, so we decided to help them against their foes to prove our goodwill." Temari continued.

"Is there anything else?" Hokage asked. Now it was their turn to hesitate. The two of them exchanged a short look.

"You'll have to wait for Gaara to return, he is the one who bears the scroll." Temari finally answered. Based on their actions and the way they would always exchange glances before answering, Shikamaru suspected that they had read the scroll on the way, but couldn't reason out why they would risk their mission and status as Ninja for such a thing.

It was another half hour before Shikamaru had finished his account of what had happened during the mission and answered all of the Hokage's questions. Once he had finished Hokage sent him away, having much more to do. Shikamaru left the debriefing session unsure what to do next. It felt wrong to just trust that Naruto and Gaara would complete his mission for him, but there was nothing he could do. This was why he didn't want to be a chunin. He hated feeling responsible for the mission, especially when he couldn't do anything about it.

He sighed, putting his hands in his pockets and walking off, towards home. He was about halfway there when Temari fell into step next to him. He wondered what she wanted, but decided not to ask, it was too much of a pain to talk to women and he wasn't going to start unless he had to.

"I guess you're not into pleasantries." Temari stated, it wasn't a question so Shikamaru decided it didn't require a response. Temari grinned.

"I guess you're going to make me ask, aren't you? Fine. Last time I was here I couldn't leave the hotel room for long, because we were afraid of Gaara going off, so I didn't get a chance to see any sights."

Temari paused, hoping he would get where she was going with this. He did, but he didn't want to show her around. It would be too much trouble. He just wanted to go watch clouds or play Shogi in the park.

"Alright, since you don't take a hint I'll just say it. Will you show me what's fun to do in this town?" Shikamaru smirked, since she put it that way...

"Watching clouds." Shikamaru answered shortly, "That's what I always do." Now, Temari is a patient girl, but she's proud. When he basically did his best job of ignoring him she was starting to get frustrated, but when he said that answer, so full of sarcasm, she knew he was trying to blow her off. Temari considers herself an attractive lady, and had been coming on to him fairly obviously. Shikamaru was a smart boy and she knew it. It wasn't as if he didn't realize what she was really asking for, he just didn't care. Some girls would begin to cry or act despondent when the object of their affection so thoroughly rejects them, and that would probably have been better for her in this situation, because Shikamaru's not a bad guy, and seeing a crying girl would crack his resolve not to be bothered, even if he rationalized it to himself that crying girls were noisy and troublesome so he did it to stop her crying, he really didn't like others being in pain. Too bad for them Temari gets angry when toyed with.

"Oh come on. Cloud watching? What a stupid thing to do. Clouds have to be the most boring thing ever, all they do is drift along and block the sun, occasionally dropping water." Now, Shikamaru wasn't an angry guy, but he had a soft spot for clouds. Insulting him watching clouds was one thing, it probably was pretty stupid and lazy of him to waste so much time watching clouds, but insulting the clouds themselves was unforgivable.

"They lead a better life than you or I, and besides, without them we wouldn't survive." Shikamaru said, not completely losing control over his temper.

"If you don't want to talk to me, just say so damnit! You don't have to make up ridiculous things like cloud watching." Temari was almost yelling now, unknowing or uncaring of the looks she was getting for arguing so loudly in the street.

"You said to show you what's fun in this town, I told you what I find fun." Shikamaru said, sounding exasperated.

"You seriously waste your time watching clouds?" Temari was still almost shouting.

"Yup, I sure do." Shikamaru shoved his hands into his pockets and continued walking, an angry note in his step. Temari stood still for a few moments, then followed him, seeming to lose all of her anger as swiftly as it had come.

"Okay, so you watch clouds. That's... unique. I won't say stupid."

"You already did." Shikamaru reminded her. Temari ignored him.

"But you have to have other interests, maybe a favorite food, or a favorite color."

"You should be going for Naruto, he's got both of those." Shikamaru said, he didn't know why he was being so cruel to Temari, it just seemed natural.

"I think we've established that you don't like me at all. You can stop reminding me now."

"Hey, I never said that." Shikamaru said, defensively.

"Regardless, I saved your life, and the repayment I ask for you is to spend an afternoon entertaining me, doing whatever is fun in Konoha. Cloudgazing excluded." This was way more trouble than fighting that woman earlier today. Oh well, it's not like the sun is going to stay up much longer.

"Okay, since you don't like clouds there's pretty much only one thing to do here."

"It'd better not be something lame." Temari threatened.

"Shogi... well... and Go, so I guess two things to do." Shikamaru continued as though Temari had not spoken.

"Sho...gi? Well, I know how to play Go at least."

"Who ever heard of a girl playing Go?" Shikamaru asked.

"Hey, I'll have you know, I am pretty good." Temari retorted.

"I'll believe it when I see it." rolling his eyes.

"You're on!"

Shikamaru blinked, she was actually willing to do it. He hoped she hadn't been lying when she said she was good... he hadn't had a good match since Nobiyama-san had died the year before. He led them to the park where he usually played. They sat down on either side of the table and played Jan Ken for black. Shikamaru unwisely chose scissors first and Temari made the first move. It wasn't a bad starting move and Shikamaru wondered where she was going with it, so mirrored it. On her fifth move he decided she wasn't half bad as a Go player. She was a fan of a double move, which was Shikamaru's favorite for the early game. He started making his own moves and was surprised how late they got into the mid-game. Starting the mid-game early was a sign of a beginner and she wasn't showing that at all.

"So... tell me why you read the scroll you were sent to deliver."

"Wha? How did you?" Temari stuttered out, surprised.

"I could tell you and Kankuro were nervous about the scroll, and the way you would always look at each other before saying anything about it made me think you had a story to keep straight. I surmised that you probably read it, but I wasn't sure until you reacted the way you did." Shikamaru explained.

"So, What is the reason?" he asked again. Temari looked back to the board, considering her next move as she considered what to say in response.

"Gaara, Kankuro and I were sent because we were the ones the plan hinged on, we were the cog that made the invasion plan work, but I guess Sasuke and that Naruto kid proved too strong and they defeated Gaara, effectively eliminating our ability to destroy Leaf, that is, without tremendous losses." Temari explained. She captured three of Shikamaru's pieces, but Shikamaru was willing to let them go to squeeze off some territory near the edge of the board where Temari might have gotten dual eyes later in the game.

"When we were told we were going to Leaf to offer our services as a token of our goodwill all three of us immediately assumed that it was a plot to kill us. Blame us as the scapegoats, let Leaf kill us and prevent war all in one fell swoop." Shikamaru killed a group of Temari's pieces, but left himself open to an unexpected counterattack.

"That would take care of the village's little problem of Gaara. You know the new Kazekage is still trying to kill him."

"We were unwilling to be the pawns in such a plan... We don't want to die, and would become missing-nin if it was a choice between that or death. " It made sense.

"That's probably a smart choice." Shikamaru admitted.

"But, the letter contained no death sentence for us, so we resealed it as best we could and continued on our mission as normal." A sudden, terrible thought occurred to Temari,

"You... you wouldn't tell anybody this, would you?"

"Oh no, of course not... I was just curious is all." Temari smiled at him, in thanks.

Shikamaru tricked Temari into letting him make dual eyes behind one of her territories. Temari was really pushing him, it was a pretty even game, but Shikamaru thought he might be just a bit better.

Come to think of it, it'd be nice to have a wife that was a good Go player, it would mean they could play together in the mornings before Shikamaru had to go to work, or to wind down after a long day. Yeah, Temari would make a good wife. Wait, WHAT? Where did THAT come from? Shikamaru shook his head to clear it, then looked up from the board for the first time since their opening moves. Temari was easy on the eyes, he had to admit that. Her golden hair was done up a little strangely, but it wasn't unattractive that way, especially with the sunset softening the edges and making her hair glow. Her attention was focused intently on the board, a bit of a crease of concentration between her bright blue eyes. She looked up at him staring at her.

"Shikamaru?" Blast, he was caught.

"Wha-what?" he said, slightly panicked.

"It's your turn." She grinned at him, damnit, why did she have to smile at him so often. He grumbled something about troublesome women and looked down at the board. It was approaching the end game and it seemed like Shikamaru was up, but only a few points. He worked on consolidating his territory and soon Temari had done the same. They both passed and the game was over... but it was too dark to count points. The sun had gone down. Shikamaru leaned back and laughed.

"All that for nothing. No winner."

"I wouldn't say it was for nothing, I had fun." Temari responded

"Me too, that was the best game I've had in a year, at least."

"Hrmph, I guess you've done your job well enough, I guess your debt is repaid." Temari got up to go. Shikamaru acted without thinking.

"Do you want to come to my place?" he asked, what the hell did he just say that for?

"I could teach you how to play Shogi... I guess I prefer it over Go." Temari was silent for only a second, then responded with an affirmative "Un" and a nod. Shikamaru felt like an idiot bringing a girl home. It wasn't as if she and he were together or anything... it was just that he wanted to teach her Shogi and play more strategy games. He wondered briefly if he won the game of Go and then dismissed the question... it didn't matter, he had a great match with a girl. He must have been wrong about them just being burdens who didn't understand anything important. Yes, Go was more important than skill as a Shinobi, that was obvious.

A.N.: For those of you who are reading Malicious Alteration, this isn't a sign that updates are going to be any slower on that than they'd be normally... Writing Shikamaru is almost completely different from writing Naruto or Hinata, and I only write on this one when I'm feeling the need to write Shikamaru, so I waste none of my creative juices, but conserve what might have been otherwise lost.

Also, you can probably tell that I'm a fan of Hikaru no go and a Go player myself... Though I'm the most basic of beginners. I'm one to start the midgame on the fourth move. I will probably skip talking about Shogi much... I only know there are two pieces that are really strong and they're called the red dragon and blue dragon... I think.