Hey guys, it's the VerdentHwnTer here with my first ever fanfiction! (Well, first ever on this site, that is)
This story is one I have thought about writing for a long time, and I thought why not post it on here!
Sooo... I don't have much more to say now, so here is the prologue of My Immortal!
Prologue: The Child and The Storm
15 years earlier:
It was a dark evening in Minecraftia. The mobs were prowling around and there was no human to be seen. Apart from the young child that was running as fast as she could away from the things that were chasing her. She had noticed the creatures watching her from a distance before and was expecting them to do something, but she didn't expect for them to try and take her in the middle of the night. She kept running and only looking ahead, not wanting to look at the appearance of her chasers again. The first time she saw them made her feel sorry for them. Now, she felt ill from seeing so close a few moments ago. The creatures kept up with the child, and she could her them behind her, trying to grab her.
Behind her, the creatures were becoming more and more annoyed about chasing her. One of the creature pulled something out. A potion. The other creature saw from the corner of it's eye and tried to make the other one stop, trying to calm it in their own language, but it wasn't enough. The potion was thrown at the girl and it hit her dead on. She began to feel faint and began to slow down. She fell to her knees and held her head. She tried to fight whatever they threw at her, but she couldn't. Eventually she collapsed, and she sank in unconsciousness
The creatures loomed over the unconscious child body and chuckled, their eyes filled with happiness. "Heheheheh... We did it.. Master will be so pleased with us..." One screeched. The other one smiled and nodded. The pair went down to grab her when something happened. A storm seemed to start out of nowhere, when only seconds ago it was perfect night weather. And this storm was unlike any storm the head ever seen. The lighting seemed to strike more rapidly and even the winds seemed more aggressive. But the weirdest thing was that it was only happening in a small area around where they were.
The second creature glared at the girl's body and noticed something odd about her hand. He took her hand in to his and gasped. He then dropped her hand and staggered backwards. He laughed with a huge grin across his face. "Oh my... It seems that master will be much more than pleased with us... We found one of them..." It cheered. The other creatures eyes widened. "We better get her back to base then... The sooner, the better." It said, then reaching down to pick the girl up. It grabbed her and put her body over his shoulder and the pair began to travel back to the base as fast as they could.
If the pair knew anything, they knew that this day would mark a much better future...
So yeah, this is the first part of the story!
It would really help me if you could review telling me what ya like and don't like and also what you would want to see happen in the story!
I would also like some advice on how to making my writing better and stuff!
I named this after the Evanescence song "My Immortal" and it kinda suits from on of the characters POV's!
And please follow and favourite the story, it would mean alto to me!
Peace out guys!
~TVH
