Foreword: TL;DR: Once was a collab, now solo...
This story started out as a collaborative writing piece between me and HDNftw, who for reasons I decline to procure, has, in the kindest possible words, stepped down from this way of life.
We reached a consensus, and I will now be pushing forwards alone unless further actions are taken. The first two chapters are untouched as to preserve them for posterity.
I truly hope you enjoy the story!
|~|~| Noire |~|~|
"Noire has no friends! She's a loner! The Loner CPU of Gamindustri!" Neptune's excruciatingly loud and obnoxious voice rings throughout my head as I sit myself down in my office, where before me lies a towering pile of unfinished papers. Even though it was still early in the morning, it felt as if long, dragging hours had already passed by. How many days has it been since I've had to deal with all of these goddamn papers? I think to myself as I begin to initiate my daily routine of filing and filling papers, the long and tedious task never growing shorter, no matter how long I work.
Uni, my younger sister, peeks her head into the room, arriving at her designated time to pick up her share of work, which, fortunately for me and unfortunately for her, has been increasing within these past few weeks. Walking over to my desk, I nod towards the stack of papers that were set out for Uni, who, without a word, picks it up before dismissing herself from the room.
Just as she was about to leave the room, she turns around and gives me a reassuring smile. "Don't let this stuff get to you, okay? I can take as much work as you need me to, Onee-chan!"
"Thanks, Uni." I return the smile, yet it was only half-directed towards her, half directed towards something else in which I had no particular recipient in mind. Watching her let out a small sigh before exiting the room, I then turn to my papers and take a deep breath, attempting to encourage myself, once again, to persevere through the day.
"Noire has no friends! She's a loner! The Loner CPU of Gamindustri!" Neptune's voice continually rung through my brain as I had began my workday in the basilicom. Shut up, Neptune! I think to myself, half growling at Neptune as I angrily fill out a permission slip to approve a new product. I have friends! I-I think… B-but that's besides the point! I let out a frustrated pout at the paper, slapping it down onto the finished pile, which was barely starting to grow.
Neptune is one of the most horrible people to ever work with. She's loud, obnoxious, and constantly claims to be the main protagonist, whatever the hell that means. What's even worse is that every time that I go see Neptune, she always, always teases me about my social status with other people, claiming that I don't have any friends! I-I swear that I have friends! But the fact that her voice relaying the same words over and over again throughout the entire day, no, month drives me insane! On top of that is the amount of work that I have to complete every day just because of simplistic things like job interviews and transactions at a convenience store! I feel bad for putting a lot of the work onto Uni and Kei, but it's grueling to have to keep up with this paperwork and stress for so long.
After hours upon hours of working without a break, the sunlight wading through the windows grows dimmer and dimmer. The pen lies heavy in my hand, and my wrist stings from writing so much. I let the pen drop from my hand, listening it drop onto the table, my hands shaky from the endless amount of writing. With a long, drawn-out sigh, I bury my face within the brief safety of my hands. Neptune's heinous banter continues to ring like a headache through my stressed out mind no matter how much I try to forget it. I'm going to go insane! It's been like this for months. Months! Nothing has changed… No matter how much I work, no matter how much I try, nothing is getting better. It's almost like I'm doing nothing at all. Useless.
Reluctantly, but with a morbid curiosity, I peek through my fingers, the workload of papers taunting me. I cover my eyes again, groaning painfully from the bottom of my heart. I can't go through another day of the same, tedious work. I just can't! I can't concentrate like I used to, I can't be the the Goddess I need to be, and I can't be the sister I'm supposed to be! My breathing runs ragged, my chest swelling with a vicious anxiety. I don't know how long I can deal with that obnoxious voice in my head. I'd never really let her worthless teasing get to me, but with all this work I've been forced to do, there's been no time to socialize with anyone. Not even with Uni…
When was the last time I went outside? It's been… weeks. It's hard to contain my self pity, leaving me to rip my hands from my face and letting them hang loosely at my sides as I lean back into my chair. Nervously, I run my hands through my twintails, bringing them around to my chest. I sit in my seat, staring blankly at the mound of work I've been putting off. There's been so much to do, but maybe, just maybe, I can take a break. The idea swirls around in my head, the pros and cons of the idea clashing against each other for dominance. On one hand I want to take a break, and maybe I'll feel more encouraged to work afterwards, but on the other hand I'll be skipping on work that has to get done.
I feel like a sack of rocks; My arms and legs feel like weights; I don't want to move; I don't want to change. I don't want to think, it just hurts to think. I even bet that I stink, even though I shower each and every morning. I just don't want people to see me.
Oh for crying out loud! I exclaim in my head, my gut feeling disagreeing with my jumbled feelings. I might as well do something different. But it's not easy. I can't move from my chair, it feels like a crime. After a minute of internal fighting I push my chair back and stand up. My joints ache and crack when I stretch, but I have to say it actually feels pretty good. It's been way too long since I went outside, which might seem like a strange thing for a CPU to say, but it's true. I don't want to think about it, though.
Each step to the door is like wading through mud. My legs aren't physically lead, but in my mind I can't help but wonder what will happen. A sudden buildup of anxiety sucks the determination out of me. After what seems like a mile of walking, I manage to make it to the door, hesitantly reaching for the doorknob and twisting it, revealing the neatly lit hallway of the basilicom. I look to my left and to my right, instinctively afraid that someone will see me attempting to make an escape. Of course nobody will be there to stop me! I give myself a nod of reassurance before walking down the hallway. I'm the CPU so it wouldn't be that abnormal for me to want to take a break! I mean, look at Neptune; she's either eating pudding or playing video games all day!
Entering the main entrance of the basilicom, I'm confronted by Kei, the Oracle of Lastation. Normally, I would be confident in talking to her about nearly anything, but at the moment, it felt as if she were a stranger to me. Someone who I wouldn't dare trust my feelings with. Just as I was about to brush past her, she speaks up, staring at me with a sideways glance.
"Where are you headed off to, Noire?" She questions, breaking the stalemate. I freeze abruptly, turning to face Kei.
"N-nowhere you need to know, Kei!" I hear myself stammer, my face beginning to burn a bright red. "I-I'm just going to take a break from the paperwork for now. I promise that I'll be back soon!"
"Alright, Noire. That's fine with me." Kei gives me a small smile, allowing for me to let out a sigh of relief, my shoulders relaxing from it's tense position. "Try not to take too long because we have an important meeting to attend to in a few hours."
"Thanks so much, Kei. It means a lot to me." Returning the smile, I excuse myself from the conversation, hurrying out of the basilicom before Kei could get any more concerned.
I had found myself wandering throughout the city of Lastation, greeting the citizens as I would any day whilst venturing without a designated destination. Time seemed to fly by so much faster than it did back in the basilicom. I felt as if I were finally free from the chains of work, of the verbal harassment dealt by Neptune. The feeling had only lasted for so long before I had quickly realized that I wasn't surrounded by my Lastation citizens any longer. Snapping out of my melodramatic droning, I take a glance at the scenery before me.
Strange. Am I usually this inattentive?
Finding myself deep within the woods, I notice that I'm surrounded by a forest of various trees. They sprout healthy leaves, the dimming light filtering through the few, sporadic gaps within the canopy of greenery. The lowest trees tower over my head, their trunks rough with a deep brown bark. The air is full of life, the whistling wind rushing through the branches as they dance to the rhythm of the breeze. At the same time, birds begin to sing their repetitive songs over and over. Despite their tune beautifully ringing in my ears, it reminded me of the obnoxious voice of Neptune. I shake my head, pushing the branches of a thick bush out of the way. None of that. Not right now. In response to my repulsive thoughts towards Neptune, the thin appendages drape a pleasantly green blanket over my skin as I pass by as if it were trying to reassure me.
I feel… at peace. Almost like I could just disappear. Disappear into the woods and let the green wrap me in a blanket of whatever I want it to be, shielding me from the stress, pain and anxiety from back in the Basilicom. Yeah, Kei can handle the work. Uni is growing up now, I have faith she can handle it too. It isn't wrong for me to disappear. I don't feel wrong. I feel… blank.
Empty.
Wrong.
There's so much wrong with me.
On the inside, my self-restraint collapses, the floodgates crashing open. I find myself crying. My hands scramble to halt the flow of tears, my silent choking only causing more tears to surge onto my clothes. I'm walking. My legs move robotically and I'm not thinking anymore. Knowing the duties I still had to fulfil, I probably would have turned back home by now. I'm walking away from my work and my family. I'm walking away from who I'm supposed to be. I can't take it any more, I just can't! Even I'm allowed to have a breaking point, right? I reassure myself by saying that I deserve to feel good once in awhile.
But does walking away feel good?
The singing of the birds doesn't give me an answer, the gentle swaying of the trees leaving me speechless.
These trees. I haven't seen these trees before, have I?
I slow down my walking to a halt, eyes red and plump from the sudden outburst of my emotions. My sleeves are wet, but at the least my eyes are not.
The ground is covered in tiny brown needles, and when I bend down to touch them they are soft, like leaves. I turn to my right, and run my hand down the rough bark of a tree. There's a bit of sticky sap stuck to me when I lift my hand off. It smells a bit like syrup. The leaves from the trees are firm needles, but despite being firm they are soft to the touch. The air smells like the trees, and yet these trees smell different than what I'm used to. They're beautiful in their own unique way. I'd like to say that this is still Lastation, but I'm not entirely sure anymore.
I turn around, facing back to the way that I had come from. I don't recognize anything. There's no path, and the bushes here are not lush and green, but thin and leafy. The ground is covered in these needles like a layer of mulch.
"Great, did I seriously get myself lost?" I sigh, grumbling to myself with frustration. I don't see a way back, so the best way, as it typically is, is to push forwards. But I don't know if I want to push forwards. I feel weak. But at the same time, I feel curious. Maybe one final adventure. My head sags as I walk forwards, through the bushes and weaving through the trees. My feet sinks into the soft ground with every step I take further from home.
Coming across a clearing, I come to stop. The sky's beginning to fall into the clutches of the night, telling me that there's not much time left before I needed to find someplace to rest. But for a moment, I think that that might be a good thing. Do I really want to go back? What's waiting for me back home? Might as well rest here. I decisively keep walking in the direction that I had believed to be the way that I was already walking in earlier.
Do I want to go home? Not really, not anymore. Do I want to keep walking? Not really, it feels like too much work. Again, surprising for me to say, but I don't know anymore. At least not now. But do I want to lie down, to sit here for an eternity? Not really.
And when I think back to that nagging workload back home, I don't know if I'm telling myself the truth about anything anymore.
With both hands I part the fringe of bushes, revealing a sea of lights. From the top of a hill, my vision had been taken captive by a wealth of glimmering lights. Two story apartment complexes, one story residential houses. A slumbering town. Lively on the inside, silent to everyone outdoors. Like me.
Across the horizon windows cast a calm yellow haze over the streetlight-lit streets, each window briefly revealing a life outside my own, presumably with it's own complications and successes. But there's not a sound to complete the scene. Not a sound of what goes on in those lives. It's so mediocre, so normal. Not like Gamindustri, where something is always happening. I'd love to smile at that thought, but something keeps me from doing so. What good does it do for me anyways? Somehow, with a breath of the crisp air, a whimpering smile creeps onto my lips. Worries can wait. I don't need stress right now, just this.
My legs move on their own, marching me and my thoughts down the hill. Just the sight of the tranquility brings a feeling a warmth into my cold minded body, but barely.
I step onto the streets, venturing into this mysterious territory. A young couple is wrapped in a topic unknown to the me in the house next door, and a child is laughing from a window across the street. I wonder what's keeping them up? A tinge of jealousy had begun to meander its way into my mind, but I quickly shrug it off.
Driven by the desire to let myself go, I begin to walk.
But I'm tired of walking.
I'm tired of it all.
However, something about this motivates me. The mystery, the exploration.
It always did, and now is no exception. One final adventure.
~[Original]Author's Note!~
[HDNftw:] Hey, everyone! What'd you think of a sudden, new story? Did something seem off with my style of writing? Well guess what? I'm doing a collaboration ...Hopefully this collab goes well and is actually successful because It was really ha[r]d for me to drop the last collab! I originally was a beta reader for Zergface, but then things got more interesting and now I'm doing a collab with him!
[me:] Yeah, so this is gonna be a cool slice of life thing. I wanted to make a nice romance I'm bad at writing that. I write different stuff. Find me if you're interested. Not advertising I swear. But! HDNftw is good with that apparently. So both our writing is coming together to make one BIGASS thing which will have best of both worlds. We'll find out.
{HDNftw again:] Wow... thanks for that shameless plug but uh yeah! Seriously you need to check out his page, he has some pretty awesome works! He's got some really interesting plot ideas that he's got up his sleeves! Nevertheless, tyvm for checking out our collab! Follow/Fav/Review to let us know if this story is worth the story (even we haven't really gone into very much depth of the plot itself... but it's only the first chapter!) an amazing day, everyone!
