Judas

The Email came.

The one she had been expecting.

The one she had been dreading.

Terra took a deep, shuddering breath and fought for control for a moment.

It was time.


Beast Boy looked up at the sound of small knocking on the door.

"Come in," The door slid open.

It was Terra.

She was biting her lip and glancing uneasily at him.

"Gar... can... can I stay with you tonight?"

He smiled warmly at her, "Like you had to ask?" he patted the space on the bed beside him. She sat down next to him and glanced at the photo album in his lap.

"Still looking through that thing?" she asked, in her usual playful tone.

"Well how many people can say they have an album of their time with the Doom Patrol? But enough about history; I think the present is pretty important right about now," he placed the album on his desk then turned fully to face her.

"Smart choice," she smiled slyly, before wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close. They spent a moment, staring into each other's eyes, before their lips met. Words gave way to actions. They leant into each other, each wrapping themselves in the other.

Locked in their embrace, they lost themselves.

They remained like that for a while.

No words, no interruptions; no disapproving Robin or Batgirl; no taunting from Cyborg; no invasively overjoyed Starfire; no cutting remarks from Raven; none of Kid Flash's insufferably shit-eating grin; no clinical commentary from Fixit. Just two people in love. Kissing.

Nothing more, nothing less.

And then the memories began to seep in for Terra.

Everything they'd been through.

The fear, the pain, the joy, the pleasure, the hope.

And then the guilt.

The lies.

No.

She couldn't do this.

Not anymore.

This couldn't be goodbye.

This couldn't be the end.

She had to tell him.

'He'll hate me. He won't want me.'

She was shaking now.

'He'll hate me, he'll hate me, he'llhatemehe'llhatemehe'llhatemeHE'LLHATEME!'

"Tara? What wrong?" Beast Boy had broken off the kiss now and was studying her, looking positively alarmed, "Why are you crying? I mean, I know I'm a pretty bad kisser, but even so..." he laughed nervously, then stopped.

Terra blinked the tears from her eyes.

More kept coming.

For all she could see, she might as well be underwater.

Her head dropped onto his shoulder, beginning to sob.

"T-Tara... you're scaring me now," he wrapped his arms tighter around her, even as hers dropped from him, "Tara? Tara? Please tell me what's wrong."

He nestled his head into her shoulder.

After a moment, she was able to form coherent thought again.

She raised her head slightly, up to his ear.

"Gar..." she whispered, "if... if you knew something about me... something terrible about me... would-" she swallowed hard, "would you still... care... about me?"

"Tara? What are you saying?"

"Gar... would you?"

"Tara... I love you. Nothing will change that. Nothing can change that – Not anymore. You're a good person, no matter what you think-"

"No. I'm not good... I'm awful. I've betrayed you. I've betrayed you all. I've been lying to you all since I joined the Titans."

"What? Tara, what are you talking about?"

"When Deathstroke kidnapped me... I wasn't in stasis. Not for most of the time. He... he was training me... to join the Titans. He... he wanted me to... to learn your secrets... your capabilities... your passwords... your weaknesses."

There was a slight silence.

"And... is that what you've been doing?" asked Beast Boy, hesitantly.

Another silence.

And then.

"Yes," she whispered, "I... was supposed to compile everything in an Email... and send it all to him this evening."

"And... did you?"

Silence again, this one was deafening.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I-I couldn't..."

Yet another pause.

"I forgive you."

"What?" Terra was so taken aback, she pulled away and stared at him. Beast Boy's face was set. Determined. But warm. He was smiling at her; through his own tears.

"I forgive you. I love you. I told you that. I don't care what you've done."

Terra's lip began to tremble again, "Why? Why don't you hate me, you fucking idiot?"

Beast Boy gave a small laugh, "Raven did say I passively make people stupider. But seriously, we've been together through almost everything since The Culling. You're stuck with me, warranty's void," he gave her a cheeky grin and blew her a raspberry. Then he pulled her in close again. Terra's sobs were fast becoming giggles, "AHA! Rae said I'd never make anyone laugh with my jokes! SHE'S FINALLY WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING!"

They held each other a while longer before letting go and settling for leaning their foreheads together. A faintly forlorn look creeping onto their faces as the weight of reality began to settle – Beast Boy of course looking the less sad of the pair. Terra couldn't meet his eyes anymore.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"I've already forgiven you, literally" he said with a sad laugh, "We need to tell the others."

Terra nodded, "Okay."

"We need to find Robin and Batgirl."

Batgirl was in the main room, sitting at one of the computers, monitoring for crime reports. Rather lazily at that, seeing as how she was also playing a well-known grand strategy game.

"Oh, hey guys," she said when they walked up to her, "I was just about to clock off."

"Barbara, we need to talk to you and Dick," said Beast Boy

"Can't it wait?" she yawned back.

"No," he replied, very insistently.

Batgirl took a look over the two of them. Beast Boy looked like he'd just been hit by an emotional train. Terra looked on the verge of tears. She nodded quickly and called Robin. He was none too happy about being woken up, but was nevertheless quickly on the sofa with the three in less than ten minutes.

"Okay, what's so important that it couldn't wait until morning?" he grumbled.

Terra, with Beast Boy's arm still around her, tried to keep the quavering from her voice as she spoke, "Well... when Deathstroke... kidnapped me... he also..." she took a deep breath in, then out. Beast Boy intertwined his hand with hers, "He trained me to be a spy. I've been a spy for Deathstroke ever since I joined the Titans."

CRASH.

They all looked round to see Raven standing in the kitchen area, staring at Terra, a look of shock and horror on her face – a face which now sported four glowing, red, slanted, malevolent eyes. The entire kitchen area was black, enveloped in Raven's darkness. On the work-surface in front of her, several items of crockery lay in pieces. Cutlery was now floating in the air around her, bending into knots and snapping like twigs. Gouges were beginning to form in the work-surfaces, the oven, the fridge, the carpet.

"RAVEN!" shouted Robin.

Raven seemed to come to herself. She leant forwards on her hands against the savaged counter and began to slowly control her breathing.

A few seconds later, the darkness shrank back under her cloak.

"Keep talking," she said, still staring at Terra.

Terra swallowed, "I... I was supposed to... to Email everything I had on you all to Deathstroke... I didn't. I couldn't. I.. I don't know what he'll do now. He was going to attack you after he'd seen the information. He... he's been hired to kill you all."

Robin and Batgirl took everything in, then looked at each other and nodded. Robin opened his communicator, "Robin to Starfire, Cyborg, Kid Flash and Fixit. Emergency team meeting on the sofa. Now."


The team was on the sofa. They had all been told. Starfire was hugging Silkie close to her, too tightly if his squirms were any indication. Cyborg was sitting with a blank look, as if he was struggling to process what he had been told. Kid Flash had his legs drawn up to his chest with his arms wrapped round them; for once he wasn't smiling. Raven had her cloak drawn tightly around her, her hood pulled as far over it's face as it would go, it's shadow obscuring most of her face. Fixit looked troubled – which was far more emotion than he was usually capable of showing. Robin and Batgirl were completely unreadable, side by side. Terra and Beast Boy were huddled together, arm in arm.

And then Kid Flash got up, went over to Terra and pulled her and Beast Boy into a bear hug.

A moment later, Batgirl joined him.

Then Starfire – Silkie making a tactical escape.

Next, Cyborg got up and joined the impromptu mob.

Then even Robin joined in.

Then only Raven and Fixit remained.

After a moment's pause, Fixit also got up and added to the group hug in his own incredibly awkward fashion.

Beast Boy fixed his bright eyes on Raven, "Rae?"

Raven sighed; a minute later, she too got up. She did not join the hug however.

Instead, she placed a hand each on a patch of Terra's and Beast Boy's shoulders that were not currently covered by the veritable scrum.

"No way in Azarath am I adding myself to the dog-pile," was all she said.