STEALING FROM HEAVEN

I tried to remember. What got me here? Why was I in a hospital, masked doctors looking down at me? I remembered that afternoon on the Bebop. Ed was arguing with her alternate personality Françoise. SJ and Ein had been barking. Jet was nagging me about doing my share of housework. He was tired of picking my pubic hair out of the shower, he said. Ebony was calmly watching TV, another Star Trek spinoff, Space Troop. The plot had Wil facing another phaser slinger in a do or die battle, and nothing Wrangler Janeway could say or do could stop him from going out to face his destiny…It made me think of Spike. Why did he still torment me?

But why was I in the hospital? Oh, I had been out spying on someone, in my new job as a private eye, when I saw that the secret lover that my client's wife had been seeing was none other than my ex-boyfriend, Whitney. And he was still wanted. I was still game on catching bounty now and then. But he had realized I was following him, and then there was the car chase…That's all I remembered.

Now, I was dimly aware of orders being shouted over me, of gloved hands and tools touching me. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw someone hold an expectant hand out to me. Weakly, I reached for the hand, but my fingers passed right through what should have been solid flesh. I closed my eyes, then opened them a few moments later. At least, I thought I did. I was still in a hospital room—but where were all the surgeons? Everything was so bare and silent. There was one thing I noted, though—the smell of cologne. It was his favorite scent…

"Hello, Faye."

I froze. I knew that voice. It was from long, long ago. I looked to my right. There, cockily leaned back in a chair, smoking a cigarette, his legs crossed, was..

"Spike!"

"So you remember me," Spike said teasingly, winking.

"What are you--?"

He stood up, and extended a hand to me. "I've come to take you home, Faye."

By home, I knew he meant my final resting place. "No, I can't go, Spike. It's great seeing you, but I have a life now. I have a man; I have a beautiful daughter. I'm finally happy with my life."

"Yeah, congratulations to you and Jet. But Faye, you're dead."

"I am?"

"Yeah, they couldn't revive you. Dr. Halversen just pronounced you dead a few minutes ago."

I remained silent for a moment or two, then insisted, "I can't go. Ebony is so young."

"Jet will take good care of her. And when he's busy, Ed will babysit." Spike seized my arm and yanked me off the bed. "C'mon, we're going."

He led me into a corridor where a few people wandered. "Souls," Spike explained. "They'll end up at either/or soon enough."

"Either/or?"

"Heaven or Hell." Spike opened a door and we stepped outside.

There were two roads in front of us, one straight, narrow, and rocky. The other was broad, smoothly paved, and had many graceful bends. They both disappeared into the mist. "When I died, I was faced with the choice of these two roads," Spike explained. He pointed at the narrow dirt road. "This is the one."

"Wait." I cupped his face in my hands, to assure myself that he was really there. I choked back a cry, then hugged him fiercely. Spike just let me do what she wanted to do—he didn't hug me back, nor did he squirm.

I pulled away, but stared into his eyes as I did so. They were perfectly matched, and had a peaceful shine to them. Always before, they had been hard-edged, with hints of paranoia and anger and sorrow sparking beneath. "So, um, Spike..you're an angel now?"

He smiled and laughed. "No, I'm a soul. Angels are specially created beings, like humans. Humans don't become angels."

"But you're different. Different from the man I knew."

"Yeah, I'm perfect." He held out his hands in a gesture that communicated, "What can I tell ya?"

I put my fists to her hips. "Well, I see your blistering arrogance is still intact!"

"It's not bragging if—"

But I didn't wait for his explanation. I bolted back for the door of the hospital. It wouldn't budge. "Ebony! You're Mommy's coming!" I pounded on the door.

"C'mon, Faye, don't fight it."

"Let me in!" I shrieked at the top of her lungs.

Spike smirked. "And I volunteered to fetch you because I thought I could keep you calm! I guess I should have let an angel carry you away."

When I had tired of screaming, and pushing and pulling at the door, Spike was able to lead me to the rocky but narrow road. "C'mon, Faye, you'll like it there," Spike said, turning around to face me, thus walking backwards. "Things don't begin there just to end. They say nothing lasts forever. That only applies to the mortal world. In Heaven, all good things just keep going on."

"But what about my family?" I stressed.

"They'll join you eventually."

"They need me now."

Spike made as if to say something, but tripped over a rock. I took the opportunity to scramble back the way I came.

I myself tripped. Spike was there to pull me up. "Stop kidding around, Faye, come on. It's really not all that bad where we're going. You'll love it."

I sighed. "Oh, all right." I resumed following him. For now, I thought. I'll follow for now…Sure was stupid for an angel to trip. "The least they could have done up there is give you an upgrade in intellect," I remarked haughtily. "You never were the galaxy's brightest bounty hunter."

"Oh, like you're some kind of genius," he said lightly.

"And how come you still have that cocky attitude?"

"Hey, I wouldn't be me if they didn't let me keep some of it."

"True. I wouldn't want you to be some stoned zombie. You know, I may have liked you better when you were human."

"Thanks, Faye." I wasn't sure if that was sarcasm.

"Is it good for you? Being perfect, I mean. Do you like it?"

Spike walked briskly ahead. "Oh, yeah."

"Mmm. 'Cause I've had some pretty good times when I'm not being perfect, if you know what I mean."

I noted that Spike was wearing the outfit he often wore in life: blue slacks, and a blue jacket over a yellow, collared shirt, the collar not flattened down neatly into place, but instead looking sloppy. "Another thing--you'd think in Heaven, they could afford to give you a new wardrobe."

Spike smiled. "Look at what you're wearing."

I glanced down. A yellow top, bare midriff, short shorts, and panty hose. "Hey, I don't even fit into this outfit anymore!"

Spike looked amused.

"I can't go to Heaven wearing this!"

"Well, think up something else then."

"Think up?" It was a strange concept, but I thought I understood. Closing my eyes, I envisioned myself with my hair up, dressed in a sleek and elegant black, Chinese gown. Looking down, I saw I was now dressed like this.

"Formal's great, but you're really gonna want more sensible shoes than that," Spike remarked, and gestured at the terrain. "Rocky road, you know."

I slipped out of her shoes. "A little something I learned from Edward," I said, and proceeded on with bare feet.

"C'mon, let's go," he said patiently. "Julia's looking forward to getting to know you better. She thinks you and her will be the best of friends."

"Really? You know, it's stupid," I began thoughtfully. "But after all this time I still have a hard time accepting that Julia—" I spoke the name without hatred. "—Will always be the love of your life."

"Me and Julia will always be," Spike confirmed. "But you won't feel left out. That's the way love works where we're going. I'll share it with you—once we're there."

I blushed, smiled, looked away. Then a pesky thought occurred to me. "This isn't one of those kinky threesome deals, is it?"

"No. It's hard to explain the 'free love' in Heaven. Because anytime mortals try it, they end up in a mess. Only perfected souls can know real free love. It's like friendship—you can have more than one friend and love them all. Here, that works with romantic relationships, too. So no one is left out, like I said."

"I still don't understand," I confessed. "Julia will always be first for you. But I'll guess I'll see when I get there."

Spike stared at me, waiting for me to resume walking. Then, breaking the silence, Spike said, "I love you, Faye."

I giggled.

"What's so funny?" Spike asked, feigning hurt.

"You're perfect. You love everybody now. Edward, Ein…You probably even love Vicious."

"Yeah, Vicious," Spike said casually, as though remembering happy days. "Too bad I sent him to Hell!"

I raised an eyebrow. "You're an odd person, Spike. Even after death."

"I'm still glad he's where he can do no more harm. So…you are going to come?"

"Let me get this straight," I began. "To get me to go with you, you're offering me love. Um, excuse me, but I had love back with my family. I know I hadn't found love when you left us, but it was right under my nose all the time. And I'm not talking about you being under my nose. I mean Jet."

Spike said nothing.

I remained still, stalling for time. I didn't want to put too much distance between my soul and my body that I had left behind. "What's it like being perfect? I mean, you can't do anything wrong. That doesn't seem like any fun."

"You'd think that, but I'm a whole lot happier now with my existence than I was before. I'm no longer a slave to my self-destructive ways. Plus, I'm freer now to feel good things I put a lid on before—you know, love and stuff."

"You are a lot warmer than you used to be," I acknowledged.

"You know, I would have once hated to admit it, but so are you."

"Really? I guess it comes from being a wife and a mother."

"The influence of your substitute mother Maybelle didn't hurt either."

"Oh, you know Maybelle?"

"Yeah, I know Maybelle," Spike said. "Without her influence, you'd be heading down that other road."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah!" Spike exclaimed in a tone that asked, "Isn't that obvious?"

"Well, anyway, now I have substitute parents, a real husband and daughter, two dogs, and a teenage hanger-on to love. So I have to get back, you know."

"Yeah, who'll feed the dogs?" Spike teased.

"Don't be silly. Jet shouldn't have to go through mourning again, so soon. You know, he took it hard when you died."

"Who, Jet? He's lost partners before."

"He acted like it didn't matter—you know how men are—but it did matter. I could tell he was hurting. He still talks about you sometimes. Hell, he named his dog after you." I waited for Spike to reply, but he said nothing.

I looked down at the ground, kicking a rock. "Jet's the only man I've trusted who's been worthy of my trust!" My shoulders tensed. "You—I couldn't even trust you to save your own life! You left me. I poured out my heart to you, and you left me. And then, you got yourself killed. It was practically suicide—a gun should win against a sword anytime; all you have to do is keep your distance. But you had to walk right up to Vicious, let him slice you open."

Spike was puzzled. "Was this on hidden camera?"

"We pieced together what happened! You're just lucky you didn't go to Hell for killing yourself!"

"Fighting Vicious has never been that uncomplicated."

"What?" I asked impatiently.

"If I could've shot him down at a distance, I would have."

But I was angry, seething; I refused to be placated. "You nearly destroyed me, you bastard, brought me down with you! I tried to kill myself, but by some fluke, the gun didn't fire."

"It was no accident, Faye. You were spared."

"The only reason I ever fell for you was because you were brutally handsome and had a sexy voice! The rest of you was pitiful!"

"Yeah, I was pretty pitiful," Spike admitted.

"Everything got better, you know," I said, bitterness drenching my voice. "After you left. Not at first. But then it improved. If any good came of your death, it was that it took my eyes off of you, and put my focus on someone who could really care for me."

"Jet's been good to you, I know."

I closed her eyes, recalling. "One morning, the Bebop was berthed in Tharsis, and there was this big rainstorm that went on and on. It was pouring. I was lying in bed with Jet, when all of the sudden, Ed, the two dogs, and Ebony ran in. Ebony and SJ hopped up on the bed, and lay between us. Ed and Ein curled up on a comforter left on the floor. And we all lay there, listening to the rain, for the longest time. And I felt at peace. I felt content. I felt a warmth that I don't recall feeling before—at least, not to that extent. It was the best day of my life. And it occurred to me, Spike, that is was because of your death that Jet, Ed, and I, and even Ein, grew close. And it was because of your death that we bought SJ to fill in the void, and because of your death that Jet and I turned to each other and Ebony was conceived. So, thanks for dying, Spike! Now things are better than they ever were with you around." With the last three words, I jabbed him in the chest.

He stared at me calmly, steadily, with a coolness that infuriated me. "Then why are you upset?"

I balled my hands into fists and shrieked. "Screw you, Spike! Why can't I hurt you? I want you to feel all the pain I did when you ditched me in favor of a dead woman!"

"Faye, I no longer feel pain about anything. But..I know I acted like a dumbass that night."

"You acted like a dumbass the whole time I knew you!"

He held up a hand to quiet me. "Okay," he conceded. "I acted foolishly my whole life. I was mortal then. I couldn't see clearly. But everything is clearer now."
"Look, all I know is you left me with scars on my soul that will never heal." I unhooked the top of my dress, pulling it down. Sure enough, over my chest, were long white scars. They were the scars of my soul.

Spike looked unsure of himself. "I hurt you that bad?"

I nodded grimly.

"I'm sorry, Faye."

"You think sorry's gonna do any good now?" I yelled. I looked into his two perfect eyes. They shone with sincerity. He had done more than he would have in his mortal state. If he was still human, he probably would have tried to turn it around on me, make me feel that I was solely to blame. I nodded curtly. "I'm going home," I announced, turning around.

"Faye, you know how it is when you lose someone. You go crazy. I saw her shot down. She died before my eyes. I didn't think I could live without her. I had a way to die and an excuse for it—bringing down Vicious."

I glanced back. "So how come it didn't count against you as suicide?"

"Mercy."

"Again with mercy. I need a lot of mercy, too."

"What about healing?" He held up a glowing hand. "Is it all right if--?" he began.

I nodded, and he stepped up to me. He pressed his hand to the scars, and I felt a warming sensation. He pulled his hand away. They weren't all gone. Some were still there, some lessened, and some the same. "Well, you got rid of a little."

"That's all I can do, for now. Where we're going, they'll take care of the rest."

"I'm no longer so ridiculously in debt, did you know that?" I asked.

Spike looked at me blankly. "Yeah, we peeked in on the court case. That Jimmy Cocoran lawyer guy was quite a character."

"When you're..'peeking in' on us," I began cautiously. "You don't peek in on us during private moments?"

"We try to avoid that."

"Good. Because I'd be afraid to ever take a shower or go to the bathroom ever again."

"We don't peek in on the bathroom," Spike said, adding mischieviously, "However, the bedroom is another matter entirely!"

I jabbed him with an elbow.

"Hey, how do you think we entertain ourselves up there?"

I glared at him.

"Just kidding."

I saw a small path heading left. I trotted towards it.

"No!" Spike growled, seizing my arm and jerking me back roughly.

"What?" I asked frantically, wide-eyed.

"That's how I lost Shin! Now he's in Hell."

"This little path leads to Hell?"

"Well, it intersects with the road to Hell."

I allowed Spike to lead me away. "Is Vicious in Hell?"

"Oh, yeah. That bird of his is there, and it rips out his internal organs and eyes and eats them. Then they grow back and the bird starts all over again."

"Ewww! So, is this Shin guy being tortured like Vicious?"

"No, but he's unhappy. He's like a person living with depression and no access to treatment. I've peeked in on a few acquaintances. Remember Gren?"

"The saxophone-playing hermaphrodite," I said. "Yeah. How could I forget?"

"Well, he's in Hell, too. All by himself. But at least he still has his saxophone. He also still has his breasts."

"Oh, that's too bad. I kinda liked him." I kicked a small rock. "You know, Gren wasn't really all that bad."

"Shin had his good points, too," Spike added.

"In fact, Gren might have even been a better man than you."

"Thanks, Faye."
"Shut up. I'm really bothered by the idea of him being in Hell. Is there any way to get him out of it? Plea bargaining or something?"

Spike shook his head. "No, there isn't a way. All judgements are final. But—" he added with a shrug. "Neither him or Shin have it as bad as Vicious."

"Can I see Gren?" I pleaded.

"I, uh, really don't think that's such a good idea."

"Please, just let me speak to him. Just for a few minutes."

Spike sighed. "Okay." A window-shaped sideways screen of mist appeared, and I looked down into it.

In a barren cell sat Gren. He was playing a saxophone—a sad blues number. "Gren!" I called. I got no response. "GREN!"

Gren stared up. His eyes, though there, looked like empty, lifeless sockets. "Who's there?"

"It's me, Faye. Faye Valentine. And Spike's here, too." Spike gave a weak, little wave.

"Where are you?" Gren wondered. "Not here?"

"We're on the road to—" I stopped, wondering if saying Heaven would be offensive. "We're on the road."

But Gren figured it out. "You get to go to Heaven and I don't?"

"I know, it doesn't seem fair," Spike began. "But—"

"Did you come here just to torment me?"

"No!" I insisted. "That's not at all..not at all what I wanted." I understood now Spike's warning. "Look…I hear you're a lot better off than Vicious."

"Yeah, whatever."

I sighed. "I guess we better leave."

"Leave? You just came!" Gren insisted. "I'm in solitary! I never get any companionship."

Tears ran down my cheeks, for I knew how much having comrades meant to Gren. "I am so sorry."

"Yeah, well, so am I."

"I'm trying to go back," I mumbled. "I have a decent life now. I didn't want to leave it so soon."

Gren looked incredulous. "Faye, Heaven is better than any life. Don't be a fool."

I shrugged sheepishly. "I've always been a bit of a fool."

Gren nodded at Spike. "What about you?"

"Um, it's been awhile since I passed on, actually. Not many months after you did, as a matter of fact. I'm just acting as an escort."

"Is it nice up there?"

Spike played dumb. "Where?"

"Heaven."

"Yeah, it's nice."

"Why are you going?"

Spike didn't know what Gren meant. "Huh?"

"The window!" I cried. "The window is closing."

"I guess somebody decided our time is up," Spike realized.

The window closed, and Gren's protests were drowned out. I grabbed Spike by the shoulders and cried for my doomed friend.

After a few minutes, I pulled away. "I'm not going to Hell," I stated with assurance.

"Yeah, but through no doing of your own."

"I've been a good girl."

Spike stifled a laugh. "Yeah, right."

"Stop laughing!"

"You were so bad."

"Well..lately I've been good."

"You've been getting lazy, you slacker," Spike chided.

"Oh, you should talk. You lived a devil may care life right up 'til the end." I leaned against a large boulder.

Spike sank into a crouch, looking up at me. "It's like this, Faye. None of us deserves Hell, yet all of us deserve Hell. The only thing separating me from Gren and Shin is I asked for mercy, so I could be with Julia."

"Well, I have a prayer of my own," I insisted. "God, give me back my life," I prayed aloud and desperately. "Don't put Jet through this. He has enough to worry about, with Ebony and Edward and his job and…Don't do this to Ebony. I want her to live a happy life. I want her to have two parents, and not have to deal with their deaths until a long, long time from now. I know Heaven is better, but after all the hell I've been through, I've finally gotten to a stage where I have a place in life and I enjoy it. It doesn't seem fair to take it from me now."

Spike lay a hand on her shoulder. "Look at it this way. At least you're going out on top. You're not going out as a loser."

"Does it do any good to argue?" I shouted at him. "Or am I just wasting my time?"

He sat down, and was silent.

"Well?" I demanded.

"C'mon, you can see Heaven just over this rise."

I followed him, and gazed at the city, open-mouthed. "Gold and pearls and jewels, oh my!"

"Yeah, you wanna come with?" Spike asked, extending a hand.

I reached out my hand, then hesitantly withdrew it. I leaned against a rock. "Did you ever wonder why?" I asked after a moment. Before Spike could reply, I changed the question. "Or maybe I should say did you ever find out why?"

"Why what?"

"Why bad things happen to us. I thought God was playing a cruel trick on me when He took you away. He taught me a lesson about needing you, and then He just takes you away. I've come to accept it, but I still don't understand."

"I used to wonder about Julia and I. While I was glad we were together in the afterlife, I didn't understand why our dreams were broken in life." His voice took on angst. "Our dreams were simple—just a peaceful life together. Something a lot of other couples have. We never found it."

"Was there a reason?" I asked quietly.

"They told me up there—that I was the catalyst for the destruction of the Red Dragons. Our tragedy brought down Vicious and his accomplices."

"Does that apply to me, too? I had to sacrifice you so that the Red Dragons would crumble?"

"Possibly. There's probably more to it. Let me check." He became silent as he conversed in his head. "Okay, here's the deal," he said to me finally. "This is what I'm allowed to tell ya. This is all they told me. You learned a lesson about not taking me for granted, and then I died. But that lesson was not for nothing. You passed it on to Jet; realized you needed to keep him in your life. You got together and had a daughter, Ebony. She is to be another focal point for good in the future."

"She won't get killed, will she?"

"I wasn't told that. Just that she would have an important role for the good of the galaxy."

"I'm sure I'll be proud of her."

Spike's face lit up as though he had just had an idea. "Hey! I got it! I finally understand!"

"What?"

"Jet's a man bound by honor, duty. You get pregnant with his child. Well, of course, he's gonna marry you and stick around. Very clever, Faye!"

"What?!"

"You finally got a man who won't—"

I seized him by the throat.

"—Leave you," he choked out in a strained voice.

I crossed my arms and looked the other way.

"Aw, Faye, I was just kidding!"

I knew he was truthful—always before, in life, I had never been sure whether his scathing remarks were in jest or if he really were just that thoughtless. "I had no idea angels could be so cruel."

"I'm not an angel." He tried putting his arm around me.

"Duh!" I snapped, knocking the arm away.

"Faye-Faye!"

"Don't call me Faye-Faye! Only Edward can do that." I leaned back against the rock. "You were only kidding, right?"

"Yeah."

"Spike, tell me—and be honest—when you were alive, how did you see our relationship? I mean, you and me."

"Come here," he said mysteriously.

"I'm already sitting beside you!"

"No, closer."

I hesitantly inched closer, and Spike put his arm around my shoulders, pulling my head against his chest. No, deeper..our "bodies" had become immaterial, and I was sinking inside of him.

Then I saw..that first meeting. Him looking at me flirtatiously over the gambling table. She's pretty hot, I heard him think. Then that also flirtatious goodbye, the first time I escaped. "Hello, Romani." His friendly advice to me after the capture of Whitney. His playful banter about "would you rescue me?" when he talked of facing Mad Pierrot again. And then I saw him looking at a revealing photo of me. Yeah, she's hot all right. But I gotta think about Julia—I might be with her again someday.

Ah, so that's it, I realized. You could've had something going with me, but you had obligations. Oh, Spike, it could've been so good!

We still have a chance to make things right. Come with me.

But Jet… I pulled away abruptly, and again I was sitting beside him at the rock. I slapped his face. "Jerk, did you just make me cheat on Jet?"

"What?"
"We just shared an intimate union, you know. Okay, so it wasn't sex, but—"

Spike smiled mischievously. "It was better."

"Now you're.." I began, stumbling in her words. "Now you're making me want to stay."

"Make up your mind, Faye. Just one more chance to choose, then the decision is final."

I sat up "Can you show me Jet and Ebony? Can we 'peek in' on them?"

"Sure." Spike placed his hands flat against each other, then drew them apart. A misty screen appeared between his hands.

I leaned in closer to the screen. "Hey, that's our bedroom. I see Jet!" Jet lay fully dressed on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He seemed like a zombie, so still was he. One hand trailed along the floor, in it grasped a diamond anchor necklace. He must have meant to give the jewelry to me. "Jet won't cry," I said. "He didn't cry for you. He won't cry for me. He says he's forgotten how to."

"Ah, all guys like to think that." Spike pointed. "What's that moisture leaking out of his eye? Sweat?"

"Well, okay…" I said haltingly. "But he won't sob."

Ebony wandered into the room, holding a plush seal. She climbed onto the bed, sighed, and hugged her father's foot.

"She doesn't cry," I said slowly.

"She doesn't believe you're gone yet," Spike explained knowingly.

"Yeah. What's that noise?"

Spike adjusted the picture. The view went down the hallway, into another room. Edward/Françoise was sobbing—wailing, to be more exact—and the two dogs were howling because of all the noise she was making.

"Go back to Jet and Ebony," I directed.

In the master bedroom, Jet was now sitting up, embracing the child. "Did Mommy tell you she not cummin' back?" the girl asked.

"No, she didn't say that."

"Then mebbe she'll come back if she didn't say so."

"She's not—" Jet began, but his voice faltered.

"Don' you want Mommy t'come back?"

"Yes, I want her to come back, but..she can't."

I gestured for Spike to close the observation. "Oh, yes, she can come back, and she will."

I looked at Spike. "How long before Jet comes and gets me in the morgue? He'll come first thing in the morning, right? I'm not gonna be there for days?"

"He's coming soon. You should get some rest."

"I am rested. Will you stay with me until morning?"

"I can't."

"Will I see you again?"

"Eventually. Faye, you're a strong woman. Stronger than I ever gave you credit for." He waved a hand closely before my eyes.

I blinked, suddenly having a hard time keeping her eyes open. I knew it was something he had done to make me sleepy. "This is goodbye--?" I began to ask.

Spike sighed. "I suck at goodbyes."

I awoke. It was dawn. I couldn't see it, but I could feel it.

Spike was gone.

He had left little trace behind, no evidence that the life beyond existed that I could share with the mortal world. Not that they'd believe me even if there was evidence.

Wrapping the morgue sheet around me sari style, I stood up and walked down the hall. I walked back, noticing something white on the floor. I picked it up. It was a feather, long and sturdy. I smiled. "I knew he was an angel!"

I heard people arriving outside the morgue door. Jet? I sighed in relief when I heard his voice, and stood waiting for them to discover me.

Dr. Halversen's knees had buckled. Jet had gone pale, but then swept me off my feet and carried me around in his arms until Dr. Halversen recovered sufficiently to demand I receive a thorough examination. I had absolutely no scars on me. Jet had been ready to deck the doctor for passing his wife off as dead, but I had intervened, announcing it wasn't Halversen's fault; I had been healed.

I passed the exam in stunning health. Dr. Halversen didn't even attempt a scientific explanation, he just advised us to keep quiet about this.

Finally, Jet was allowed to bring me home. During the ride, I said, "I was dead."

"Did you see Spike?"

I glanced down at the feather she had managed to keep close by me. "Yes."

"Really? How's he doin'?"

I smiled to myself. Jet might as well have been talking about a friend who moved to another city. "He's doing quite well. Julia's taking good care of him. We talked about you.

"He's different now," I added. "He's a lot warmer and more open about himself. Yet I don't know if I like the old him or the new better. Does that seem funny?"

Jet shrugged. "Takes getting used to, I guess."

"But you know, death..it isn't such a scary or final thing as we think. Strange as it sounds, but life goes on after you die. I'm just glad that he's happy."

The reaction of everyone at home was one of shock, as well. Françoise collapsed.. The dogs leaked all over the floor, then sniffed all around my feet to ascertain it was me. Ebony was just thrilled, and cried out, "Mommy!" She held up her arms for a hug.

I embraced her daughter.

Later that night, I sat with Ebony on the child's bed. "Where'd you go, Mommy? Ev'rybody was acting like you weren't coming back. Ever."

"Mommy did go away. She was with an angel."

"Was she pretty?"

"He was beautiful. And he wanted to take Mommy away to a wonderful land full of love and peace, where she could live happily ever after."

"Why didn't you go?"

I touched her daughter's nose. "Because Mommy wanted to be with you, my little star, and Daddy. Here—" I handed the feather to Ebony. "Keep that in a safe spot. And whenever you're scared, remember that angels are watching over you."

"Okay, Mommy. I'll put it in my treasure box."

I smiled and joined Jet at the door.

Well, that's what happened. That's my supernatural experience. Though it's one of those things that even when you're a hundred percent certain it happened immediately after the event, as time goes on, you let others' skepticism rub off on you, and you begin to doubt the event yourself. But anytime that happens, I sneak into Ebony's room, open the treasure box, the one with engraved flowers on top, and gaze at the pure white feather held within.