Suffer so alone part 1.

This is part one in a series. Please R/R and tell me what you think. I know the idea's been done before a bit, but I thought I'd give it a try. Please review and tell me how you think this compares with the others. Don't bothers ending flames, if you hate it that much don't bother reviewing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or any of it's characters, so don't bother suing or anything like that.

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A fine misty rain was falling over the city of Odaiba, and there were few people on the streets. A few school kids hurried over to a bus shelter, laughing slightly and huddling under jackets trying to avoid getting wet.

Koushiro looked up momentarily at them, and then returned his gaze to the slick pavement ahead of him. He absently brushed a raindrop from above his eye, and continued walking along, not minding the fact he was without a jacket. His School uniform had dampened long ago, but he was not concerned. He sighed slightly, and looked out to the road, checking it before crossing.

He silently trudged along the exposed walkway of the apartment building until he arrived at the apartment where he lived, and raised the key to the lock. Glancing out at the misty rain, a sad smile crossed his lips. He liked the rain, it suited his feelings.

He stepped through the opened door, wiped his wet shoes off on the doormat and closed the door behind him, and then turned and walked to his room. He sighed again and tossed his damp schoolbag onto the bed, kicked off his shoes, and then walked to the bathroom.

He changed out of his damp uniform, and hung it to dry next to the heater, then picked up the note his 'mother' had left him.

It read:
Dear Izzy,
Am working late again, ditto dad, so make yourself some dinner and I'll hopefully be back around 10.30.
Love you,
Mom.

He screwed it up and absently tossed it into the rubbish bin. Ever since his mom had got a nursing job at the nearby hospital, and his dad had started working longer hours after his promotion, he had been reading these notes almost everyday. Of course he liked what they read, he wasn't a particularly social person, and preferred to be left alone and not have to deal with anyone. It hadn't always been like this, he used to love going and hanging out with the other digi destined, but quite a bit had changed over the past couple of months.

When the letter had arrived triumphantly announcing he had been accepted into a trial program which moved intelligent kids to highschool, he had been overjoyed. He would be going to the same school as his friends at the same time, instead of having to wait two years. His parents had taken him out to dinner, and him and the group had gone out as well. Things seemed to be OK, but there were changes which encouraged the growth of his anti-social side, chiefly his dads promotion and his moms completion of her nursing qualification. These had doubled the amount of time he was alone, at first he had not liked it too much, but once school had started he had grown to it like a vine to the light.

Koushiro had always been a quiet and independent person, and was only comfortable talking to people when he knew them well. He had learned to do this very early in life, his high intelligence had given him a very advanced vocabulary, and he talked in a much more complex tone than most others, which of course isolated him and made him an obvious target for harassment. Bullies in his primary school years had moulded him into a quiet genius, he rarely talked in class except when asked a question by the teacher, and shied away from group discussions and confrontation of any type.

This formula had worked rather nicely for him up until his induction into Odaiba high, when his composure and obvious liking towards 'nerdy things' had made him the unfortunate victim of the ever present bullies.

We all know this, there is always one poor soul who is chosen as the butt of the jokes and bullies, most of us will stand by, uncomfortable with what is being done and said, but reluctant to step in, thankful it is not us that is the victim. Koushiro was like this. He had been singled out from his first day, and because he none of his fellow digi destined were in any of his classes and he was so young, he had no one to act as a guardian towards him.

So everyday he had endured it. The taunts, the slanderous false rumours spread about him, the beatings and the isolation from his friends. He had not told his parents, telling himself they worked too hard to need to be worried about him. He became more and more recessed. At the cafeteria he usually sat quietly, listening to the jokes and fun times his friends were regaling each other with, and quietly wishing he felt the way they all did.

This particular day, after he had got changed he had returned to the bathroom to inspect the damage that had been done to him as soon as the school day had ended. His bullies had found him, and laid into him, reducing him to a doubled over heap on the damp concrete, gasping for air after the kick to his ribs which had left him winded.
Taking off his shirt he turned the right side of his torso to the bathroom mirror and winced slightly as he saw the deep purple bruise the kick had left. He pulled his shirt back down again and went to his room.

*******
He woke up several hours later, and looked over at the clock, which read 7:30 in large green figures. Sighing, he carefully rolled over and sat on the edge of his bed, and reached for his stereo remote. He put on Adams song, by blink 182. It was always the song he put on while he cut. It bought out his deepest, saddest feelings, and was the catalyst to bring out the tears he bottled up every day.

Following the same procedure he did everyday, he took out a scalpel he had taken from the schools science lab, and rolled the sleeve of his shirt up. His left arm was sickening to look at. It was covered in a criss cross of deep cuts and scars, so bad that his whole arm, up to just below the wrist looked was a disgusting mess. He had never been able to bring himself to cut his wrists, there had been days when he had come home, collapsed next to the front door and lay sobbing there for hours. But still he felt like he should hold on.

But he was starting to lose this feeling. Every day he got closer to the wrist. Today as he sat on his bed, he looked at it and wondered what it would be like. But still he could not bring himself to do it. Instead he put the scalpel blade about halfway along his arm. He pulled it towards him, the now slightly blunt blade slicing coarsely through the scars and scabs, forcing fresh blood to well along the line it left. Koushiro gasped slightly in pain as he did it, and then sank to floor where he lay weeping, his tears driven by the songs sad lyrics. He sat crumpled there for another half hour, crying softly to himself, wishing it would all stop, and wishing he didn't have to hurt himself to release the pain.

Outside the rain still fell softly on the Odaiba streets.

Well thanks for reading it, it's a bit short I think, but it's in a series.

Heres a preview of part 2:
Koushiro goes to school as normal, except this day is the worst ever. Can he cope with it? How will he deal with it? Part two coming soon.......