Konnichi wa, minna! Mikata and I decided to try MiSTing a fanfic, to the neglect of my three fics and Mikata's God-only-knows-how-many. Hopefully it's funny. Feedback can be sent to jillypuff@cheerful.com or NamedAlex@aol.com Ja ne! ~Jillypuff
Disclaimers and warnings: Mikata and I do not own Gundam Wing or any of the characters, although Mikata would love to own Heero and Quatre, and I want Quatre and Wufei (guess we'd have to duel for Quat-chan.) They belong to Bandai. Mystery Science Theatre belongs to Best Brains. The fic being MiSTied (not giving it away!) belongs to Sephiroth. We're not trying to be rude, but...this fic...well, you'll see. There is lemon content, as well as yaoi. If that bothers you, then stop reading now. Also a little Relena bashing (hey, I like the girl, but this is supposed to be humorous.) There might be a little Treize bashing, or Duo bashing...ok, most of the characters get bashed. *laughs wickedly* Mikata-chan is the voice of Heero, Trowa, Wufei, and Zechs, while I'm the puppeteer behind Duo, Quatre, and Treize. The theme song, intro, and conclusion are by me (yeah, it sucks, but it's my first try!) Enjoy!
Archival: My site. If anyone else wants it for whatever reason, they can have it. Just tell me, 'k?
In the rather distant future,
Around the colonies in space,
Heero Yuy and the Gundam boys,
were caught in an endless chase.
Pursued by a man whose name is Treize,
an OZ general who's screwing with the human race.
He threw a few things in his purse (~_^),
and with his best friend Zechs he chases them all across the universe.
Treize: I'll send them crappy fanfics,
the worst I can find, (Zechs: Lalala)
They'll have to sit and read them all,
and I'll liquefy their minds.
Now keep in mind Heero can't control
where the fanfics begin or end.
He'll slowly lose his sanity,
with the help of his G-boy friends.
Heero: G-boy roll call!
Duo! (I'm Shinigami!)
Trowa! (...)
Quatre! (Oh, Allah, what did I do to deserve this?)
Wufei! (Injustice!)
If you're wondering why no one's killed Duo yet,
or other pointless facts,
you should keep in mind this is a fanfic,
and you should really just relax,
For Mystery Gundam Theatre A. C. 195!
On the nameless satellite where the five G-boys were held captive, all was quiet. Not a sound could be heard on the ship, not even from Duo.
"Heya minna!"
Never mind.
"Hey people! Bet you're wondering how we got up here, ne? Well, Treize sorta followed Wu-man back to our safehouse after he lost their latest duel, and we all got nabbed while we were sleeping. Then OZ was trying to conduct some kind of experimental torture thingy, that involved sticking a bunch of test subjects up in a satellite, and since we happened to be conveniently lying around, Lady Une had us brought here. So we've just been hangin' around until OZ remembers about us." Duo gave a cheeky grin from the main hall of the satellite. "Oh well, could be worse. Although it'd be nice if Q-man and Tro-daddy could give it a break in their room-"
"Who are you talking to, Duo?" Heero inquired irritatedly as he walked out of his room. "There's no one here but us, and the others are all in their rooms."
"To the viewers, of course! I told ya, Hee-chan, Khushy's basing this on a weird TV show from the 1990's called Mystery Science Theatre. Bet ya we'll have to start watching crappy movies any minute now."
Heero looked at him like he was insane. "Baka. There's no one watching except OZ. And don't call me Hee-chan."
"But it's so cute," General Khushrenada's voice purred as his image flickered to life on the viewscreen. The general looked cool and in control as always. Beside him was Zechs Marquis, who seemed faintly amused by the situation. It was hard to tell behind that damn mask.
"Hello boys," Treize greeted them politely. "Now that you've had some time to adjust to your surroundings, I think it's time we began with the experiment, don't you?"
"I knew it! You're going to make us watch crappy movies, aren't you?" Duo hollered. Heero winced and covered his ears.
"Not exactly," Treize replied. "Why don't you fetch the other two pilots so we can talk?"
"Ummm, don't you mean three?" Duo asked, scratching his head.
The general of OZ looked perplexed. "Isn't it simply you two and pilots 03 and 04?"
"And 05," Duo said. "Much to his and our dismay." Heero nodded.
Treize shot to his feet. "NANI? My dragon is up there?" He started pacing, not looking quite so calm anymore. "I'll kill Lady Une for this, I swear!"
Heero looked at Zechs. "Why wouldn't Wufei be up here?"
The Lightning Baron sighed. "Treize ordered for 05 to be brought straight to him. It's a long story."
"What's going on?" a sleepy Quatre asked as he entered the room, followed by an equally tired Trowa. He spotted Treize and Zechs on the monitor. "What's OZ up to?"
"Who knows what that kisama Khushrenada is up to?" complained Wufei as he stomped out of his room. "I just want to know why in the name of Nataku we're up here!"
"You weren't supposed to be up there at all, my dear dragon," Treize gushed. Zechs sighed and banged his head against the wall. Treize took no notice. "You were supposed to be down here, nice and safe in my arms..."
"NANI?" yelped Duo. "Wu-man, just what is your relationship with Khushy?!"
"We're soulmates," Treize interjected. He sighed, and shoujo bubbles appeared all around him, causing Zechs to bang his head even harder. "We're star-crossed lovers, my dragon and I."
"Honto? Omae o korosu, Chang!" Heero snarled, grabbing his gun from spandexspace.
"I'm not sleeping with Khushrenada!" Wufei yelled. "He's delusional! I don't like him!"
Treize wagged his finger at Wufei. "Don't deny your heart, Wu-chan. I felt your passion for me during our duel. I know how much you wanted to jump me right there."
"NANI?!?!?!"
The general of OZ ignored the pilot's protests and turned back to the others. "It's too late to remove my darling Wufei from the experiment now, so we'll have to make do," he said. "Now, OZ is conducting an experimental kind of torture on you five based on a show from the late 1900's. However, instead of bad movies, you'll be reading fanfics. Lady Une found some from that time period that seem to echo our lives rather closely. The point of the experiment is to see how long you last without killing each other or going insane."
"You've gotta be kidding me," Duo grumbled.
"I'm afraid not, 02." Treize turned to his companion. "Zechs, send them their first piece."
"Of course, sir," the pilot of Tallgeese agreed. He typed some commands into the console. "Your first piece revolves around you, 02. It involves rather...sordid relations between you and a panther."
"What? What do you mean, 'sordid?'" wailed Duo.
"You'll see," smirked Zechs.
"What if we refuse?" asked Heero.
Treize smiled. "I'll give you to Relena."
Heero paled and grabbed the other four pilots. "Let's just play along," he growled. The others sweatdropped and let Heero drag them in the theatre.
* * *
Wufei: I don't want to be here!
Duo: Would you rather be with Khushy right now?
Wufei: No. I'd rather be sheathing my sword in his flesh!
Heero: Omae o korosu.
Wufei: What?
Quatre: *sweatdrop* Are you sure you don't like Treize, Wufei?
Trowa: ...
Wufei: I don't!
Duo: Let's just get the fic over with.
Heero: Hn.
A Panther/Duo Fic
Duo: NANI?!
Heero: Duo. I didn't know you felt that way about animals.
Duo: I don't! C'mon! Trowa's the one that loves lions, not me!
Trowa: *turns and glares at Duo*
Duo: Uh, sorry Tro-daddy.
Trowa: I'm not your pimp.
Duo: Ack! He spoke!
Trowa: ...
Quatre: Be nice to Trowa! *hugs Trowa* You okay?
Trowa: ...little one. *looks down at Quatre*
Heero: *growls* Can we get this over with?
-----part 1-----
Wufei: Oooh, what a unique name.
Duo: There's more than one part? I'm doomed!
The sleek black stalker caught the scent of new prey.
Trowa: That sounds really gay.
Slinking, quietly, through the underbrush it paused a moment, tail flicking back and forth.
Quatre: *giggles* Which tail?
Heero: Does this remind anyone of Treize?
Wufei: Hmmph.
Trowa: *realizes what Quatre said* Quatre!
Quatre: What?
Trowa: *shakes head* Never mind.
He could smell blood and sweat, and adrenaline. But no fear. That intrigued him.
Wufei: *cracks up*
Duo: No comment needed.
Duo paused.
Duo: Aw shit! What'd I do to deserve this?
Heero: Maybe you snapped a high heel.
Trowa: *arches eyebrow*
Duo: Hey!
On the run from Dr. J's jungle hideout,
Heero: Dr J doesn't have a jungle hideout.
Wufei: Maybe it's for his Barbies.
Duo: *sarcastic* Oh, that's where G gets them from.
Heero: *sweatdrops*
he wanted nothing more than to get back to Heero, to cling to him.
Heero: Don't touch me, Duo.
Duo: Awwww...
To wash away the memory of Dr. J's obscene probing and prodding in the cleansing warmth of his lover's embrace.
Heero: *rubs his bottom* Don't remind me.
Trowa and Wufei: *stare at Heero*
Duo: Me and Heero? Why would I sleep with Spandex boy?
Heero: You have a death wish?
Duo: No, I grant them. I'm Shinigami!
Wufei: *wallops Duo*
Duo: Owww...
Trowa: ...
Quatre: Don't fight! It's what OZ wants!
Dr. J watched the monitor as the panther neared Duo's location. Soon he would know which instinct was stronger . The urge to kill or the urge to mate.
Heero: Depends upon the person. I want to kill Maxwell, despite what the author implies.
Duo: You wanna kill little ole me?
Heero: Yes.
Duo: *pouts*
He had seen the animal around before and that was why he'd chosen it. It was close and wild, and one of the predatory animals in the area. He has rubbed the heat scent he'd acquired from a captured female all over Duo's ass while Duo had fought and struggled.
Trowa: How did he manage this? I mean, touching Duo's butt is one thing, but how did eh get the heat scent?
Wufei: Yeah, see? *pokes Duo's butt*
*Unseen force electrically shocks Duo*
Treize: *over loudspeaker* No one messes with my dragon but me!
Duo: He touched me! Ouch! This is so not cool...
Duo had broken free, but that was fine with Dr. J.
Quatre: (as Dr. J) This was getting boring anyway. Now to go have that orgy with the other scientists...
Trowa: *shocked* Little one!
Quatre: They're all perverts! Doktor S keeps goosing me!
Trowa: Oh, little one... *hugs Quatre*
*Sparkles appear around Trowa and Quatre*
Wufei: *gets zapped by sparkle* Aaaaaahhhh! Bakas!
*Sparkles disappear*
Quatre: Gomen nasai, Fei-kun.
Still naked, Duo knelt by a stream and reached forward to scoop up some water. He was knocked forward, suddenly, as he felt the panther's weight upon his back.
Trowa: I feel sort of voyeuristic right now.
It bit into his shoulder, sending a tremendous jolt of pain throughout his whole body.
Wufei: No, really.
As it dug its fangs into his shoulder, gripping him and holding him firmly in place as it thrust into him.
Duo: I'm being raped by a panther? What the hell!!!
Heero: Wasn't that obvious from the beginning?
Duo's mouth flew open in a silent scream as the worst pain he'd ever felt coursed through him, even as the panther's barbs tore him inside.
Duo: Panthers have barbed penises? Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Heero: You know, you didn't actually get rammed by a panther.
Duo: Sympathy yell.
his body was rigid with agony. As he blacked out, he felt the animal ejaculate into him, then everything went black.
Trowa: Okay...
Quatre: You're really talkative today, Trowa.
Trowa: ...
Quatre: *pouts*
Wufei: I think Barton used up his word quota for the day.
Trowa: ...
Quatre: *eyes well up with tears*
Trowa: *hugs Quatre*
Quatre: *settles down*
-----part 2-----
Duo woke sometime later.
Duo: Really? Gee, I didn't think I'd ever wake up!
Heero: Well, you're not that intelligent.
Duo: Look who's talkin', Mr. Self-Destruct!
Heero: My name isn't Mr. Self-Destruct.
Duo: Sure...
He felt sore and exhausted.
Quatre: The author likes to state the obvious, doesn't she?
Still, he had to get the hell out of there.
Wufei: No comment needed.
Duo: Don't steal my line!
Wufei: Beat you to it!
Duo: Hmph.
He staggered to his feet, getting as far as kneeling, before he felt a gun being pressed against the back of his head.
Quatre: The panther has a gun?
Wufei: Well, the panther has a barbed penis. I don't see why not.
Duo: It pulled a gun out of nowhere. It's Heero in disguise!!!
Heero: *pulls out gun* Omae o korosu.
Duo: See?
Heero: Do you really want me to ram your ass?
Duo: If you're offering...
Heero: OMAE O KOROSU! *throttles Duo*
Quatre: *breaks them up* Stop it! Heero, go sit by Wufei.
Heero: You're not telling me what to do.
Quatre: You want to sit next to Duo?
Heero: Hn.
Wufei: I want Valium.
He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable.
Trowa: Inevitable what?
All at once there was a growl from nearby. One that Duo recognized.
Duo: It was...Quatre!
Quatre: Since when do I growl?
Trowa: It was probably more like a purr.
Quatre: *crawls into Trowa's lap*
Trowa: Ooof.
Quatre: *purrs*
Trowa: *strokes behind Quatre's ears*
Heero: Get a room.
It was the panther that had been ramming him a short time ago.
Heero: And it still had a gun?
Dr. J turned and stared at the panther in horror as he leapt straight for him.
Quatre: Dr. J leapt at the panther? That wasn't very bright of him.
Wufei: Where did he come from? Why would he sneak up on the panther with a gun?
Duo: He's on crack?
Heero: I wouldn't put him past it. Why do you think he named my Gundam Wing?
He didn't have time to run before the animal tore him apart.
Wufei: I would think not.
Quatre: Who tore who apart?
Trowa: Do we care?
Quatre: Good point.
"I see him." Heero told the others.
Duo: See who?
Heero: Hn.
"I've found Duo. He's alive."
Wufei: Unfortunately.
Duo: Hey!
Wufei: What?
Duo: You know what!
Trowa: And no one's bothered by the fact he's naked?
Quatre: It's Duo.
Trowa: Hn.
Duo: *sulks*
Heero: Well, it's something you'd do.
he landed his gundam and made his way to where Duo was.
Heero: I spotted him from the Gundam?
The panther stood between Duo and Heero, snarling at Heero and herding Duo so that the braided pilot had to remain behind the animal.
Duo: So what, I'm a sheepie now?
Heero: Sheepie?
Duo: Singular of 'sheepies.'
Heero: What is a sheepie?
Duo: You know, the stupid animals we get wool from.
Wufei: So in other words, Maxwell's relatives.
Duo: Hmph!
Quatre: I thought they were 'sheep.'
Duo: No! The same word can not be singular and plural. So it's sheepie and sheepies.
Heero: Duo, are you on crack?
Duo: Nope. Just Chef Boyardee!
Heero radioed the others. "Ideas anyone?"
Duo: (as Heero) How can I get a personality?
Heero: *violently sticks Duo's braid down his throat*
Quatre: *opens mouth, then shakes head* I'm not going to even bother.
Trowa: *kisses Quatre*
Quatre: *looks happy*
"Heero, what's it doing?" Quatre asked.
"It's keeping itself between Duo and me." Heero explained.
Trowa: I would run from a big Gundam too.
Duo: What about a small one?
Trowa: *stares at Duo* Why, do you have a small one?
Duo: Nope! Wanna see?
Quatre: Over my dead body!
Trowa: Not really.
Heero: Wufei does.
Wufei: I do not!
Duo: Yeah, he wants to see Treize's.
Wufei: KISAMA!
"I'm getting a visual of the area. Hold on." Quatre pulled in a visual and watched it carefully.
Quatre: Where did I get this from?
Wufei: Spandex space.
Trowa: My little one would not stick his hands in Heero's pants.
Duo: Maybe Q-man's in spandex.
Trowa: *nosebleeds*
To Quatre's and Heero's amazement, the panther slinked back over to Duo and and began to lick him, as if Duo were another panther.
Duo: Eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...
Quatre: Where did he lick him? *evil grin*
Trowa: Little one!
Quatre: *innocent look* What, Trowa?
Trowa: *eye widens, then shakes head*
-----part 3-----
Duo lay in bed.
Heero: He had sex with the bed?
Duo: Better then the panther!
Heero: Maybe the bed has barbs.
Duo: *wails*
Wufei: Wasn't Duo on top?
Heero: But Duo's always uke.
Duo: *wails harder*
Trowa: *teasingly* Just like Quatre.
Quatre: Oh really? We'll see about that. *grins*
Trowa: ...
It had been a little over a month since his run-in with a male panther who had taken him for its mate.
Quatre: Is it a he or an it?
Wufei: Maybe it's a she.
Quatre: That explains the barbs. It must have been a dildo.
Trowa: Quatre!
Quatre: What?
Trowa: *blinks*
Heero had tranquilized the animal and then had removed Duo from its den.
Duo had asked the animal not be killed,
Duo: WHY????
and now he could hear it calling him from outside, begging him to return home with its forlorn cries.
Trowa: Awww. Poor thing.
Duo: So why don't you go out and have sex with it?
Trowa: I have Quatre.
Quatre: I don't know, it sounds kinky...
Trowa: Little one!
At present, Duo was feeling a little under the weather.
Duo: Gee, I wonder why?
He could hear the cries of the panther as it stalked the area outside.
Trowa: *in monotone* Love me, love me, say that you love me...
Wufei: Isn't that by the Cardigans?
Quatre: Shameless song plug number one!
"So, what's the verdict?" he could hear Heero asking from nearby. "Pneumonia? Flu?"
"Pregnant."
Duo: NANI???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heero: *Cringes* is there something you need to tell us?
Duo: I'm all man!
Wufei: *snorts*
Duo: Oh shut up, Justice Boy.
Wufei: Boy?!
"WHAT?!" Heero yelped.
Heero: Yelped? Since when do I yelp?
Quatre: When you find out Duo's pregnant?
Trowa: Otherwise, you grunt or yell.
Duo: Or let out maniacal laughter.
Heero: Hn.
"You mean he's having kittens?!"
Quatre: Oh, yeah, good point. How did a panther get a human pregnant?
Heero: Duo, is there something else you're not telling us?
Trowa: Or is it the panther that needs to tell us something?
Duo: I told you it was really Heero!
Heero: How did I get you pregnant? And why would I get you pregnant?
Duo: It only takes once, Hee-chan...
Heero: Don't call me Hee-chan.
"Cubs." the doctor told him. "Baby panthers are called cubs."
"Whatever." Heero muttered, walking away to think.
-----part 4-----
The pain could not be denied any longer. Duo cursed and turned on his communicator. "Guys, I gotta bail." he told them. "I'm in labor."
Heero: That's putting it lightly.
Duo: Gee, those nine months sure flew by.
Wufei: And why would you be flying a Gundam when you're pregnant?
Quatre: How would you be? I don't think your belly would fit.
Heero: I could do it.
Duo: Fine. You carry my kid!
Heero: I'd rather not.
Duo: Then shut up!
Heero: Hn.
"I'm going with you." Heero told him.
Heero: Like I'd say that.
"Like hell you are, Heero." Duo told him.
Duo: However, I would say that.
Heero: Hn.
"You stick with the mission at hand. Come to the hospital when you're done." he flew off to the hospital, leaving the others to finish the battle.
Heero: He left in the middle of a battle?
Quatre: And OZ let him?
Wufei: And what was he going to do? Park Deathscythe in the middle of the parking lot?
The remaining four pilots turned their attention to the battle at hand.
Quatre: What, we weren't paying attention before?
Trowa: Apparently not.
Trowa executed a terrific banking move that brought him behind one of the enemy fighters. He made his attack run, bringing down the fighter which collided with a second fighter just as the second fighter was about to open fire on Quatre.
Quatre: I'm confused...
Trowa: Hn.
Duo: Please! If this was accurate, it would have been "Trowa started an attack run, but Heavyarms ran out of bullets." Oh, by the way, Q-man, does Trowa ever run out of ammunition?
Quatre: *confused* Huh? You just said it yourself, he always does.
Trowa: *violently stuffs braid down Duo's mouth, then glares at Quatre*
Quatre: *upset* What?
Trowa: *whispers in Quatre's ear*
Quatre: *turns red* No! Trowa always lasts!
Wufei: *nosebleeds*
"Thanks, Trowa." Quatre said, noticing another enemy fighter coming after Heero. "Heero, you got one on your tail."
Heero: Like that would ever happen.
Heero swerved, but the enemy pilot continued to follow. "I can't shake him." he complained.
Heero: What? That is not me!
Wufei bore down upon the enemy plane that was firing on Heero and brought it down.
Duo: He went down on it.
Wufei: *Shoots blood at Duo out his nose like a gun*
Duo: *shrugs* Eh, my clothes are black. It won't show. *wipes blood from face*
"Thanks, Wufei." Heero said.
"Any time, Heero."
Duo: (as Wufei) That'll be $4.50, plus 2 dollars for the blowj-
Wufei: *kicks Duo in the balls*
Trowa: *hums Twilight Zone theme*
Quatre: Shameless TV show plug number one!
There was silence.
"Well, that's over." Heero said. "Let's get to the hospital and see how Duo's doing."
Wufei: O...kay.
Heero: *twitches*
They dropped the four gundams off at home, then drove down to the hospital.
Quatre: Who did we leave to watch them? Relena?
Heero: Hn. I thought they were mobile suits, not dress suits.
"Did a young man with a braid check in earlier?" Heero asked.
The doctor looked confused, then another walked up. "I'll handle this." he said. She lead Heero aside.
Wufei: Why did the gender switch?
Quatre: Aiyeee! It's related to the panther!
Trowa: What does your uchuu no kokoro say, little one?
Quatre: Aiyee! I can not call upon my uchuu no kokoro!
Duo: Shameless Minific plug number one!
Heero: Who's Mini?
Duo: *shrugs*
"Duo's fine." she told him, confidentially.
"You know about us?"
Heero: I would not ask that question.
Trowa: Maybe we should start a list of reasons of things Heero wouldn't say.
Duo: I'd suggest we start a list of things Trowa wouldn't say, but that list would stretch on forever.
Trowa: ...
"Us?" the doctor asked. "I know about Duo Maxwell. I tried him for a gunshot wound once when he was arrested. I know who he is, so whenever he's brought in I'm the one who takes care of him. Mind you, I never thought I'd be delivering his babies."
Wufei: I don't think anyone was expecting that, miserable onna!
"I think he was just as surprised as you were." Heero told him.
"You're Heero?"
"He told you about me?" Heero gasped.
Heero: I would not gasp. I would just kill the doctor.
Duo: Just like you killed Relena?
Heero: *violently shoves braid down Duo's mouth*
Duo: *spits it out* Would you quit that?
"He wouldn't say what you did for a living. But he said that you were his boyfriend and that he loved you."
Heero: I'm gonna kill him.
"I'll kill him." Heero muttered.
Duo: Wow! She finally got Heero in character!
Trowa: Is there an echo in here?
Quatre: Deja vu...
The doctor laughed. "Let's go see the babies, shall we?"
Heero: Plural?
Trowa: Yes. Babies. Plural.
Heero nodded. "Hey, guys! Come on!"
Wufei, Trowa, and Quatre joined them.
Quatre: ...in an orgy!
Trowa: *falls down with nosebleed and passes out from loss of blood*
At the window, they noticed that in one crib there was a small panther cub, curled up and sleeping soundly. In the next crib over, there was a baby girl with a pair of pretty black panther ears atop her head, and a long back panther tail continuing from the base of her tailbone. Her eyes were the same color as Duo's, but her pupils were slit, like those of a cat.
Duo: *wails* My children are freaks!
Wufei: Just like you, Maxwell.
Duo: I'm not part panther!
Wufei: But you're all freak.
Duo: Takes one to know one.
Heero: Very mature.
Duo: He started it!
Heero: Again, very mature. Are we 15 or 5?
-----part 5-----
"Shiva! Hyoko!" Duo called to the twins, who were playing in a converted play room. "Its time for lunch. You two go wash up, okay?"
Wufei: Converted from what?
Duo: What kind of names are those?
Heero: Shiva is the god of Destruction in India.
Duo: Coooooooooool!
Quatre: Shameless Pokémon plug number one!
"Okay, dad!" Shiva called. "Come, sis!" she ran out of the play room with the smallish panther at her side. Being of half-human lineage gave the panther some odd characteristics, the two obvious ones being her human eyes, that looked exactly like Duo's eyes, and the fact that she aged at the same rate as a human being, rather than at the rate of a feline.
Duo: Nice sentence there.
Heero: Who's the mommy?
Duo: Wu-man!
Wufei: No! I am not an onna! *voice cracks*
Duo: Suuuuuuuuuuure.
Wufei: Hmph! You're more of an onna than I!
Duo: *flashes Wufei*
Wufei: *goes down with nosebleed and passes out from blood loss*
*Duo is electrically shocked again*
Treize: *from loudspeaker* Stop corrupting my dragon!
Zechs: *mutters from loudspeaker* Your dragon?
*whacking sound*
Zechs: *from loudspeaker* You know, it doesn't hurt when one is wearing a helmet.
She followed Shiva everywhere.
Both Shiva and Hyoko walked into the dining room.
"Here we are." Shiva announced. She grinned at the sushi. "Thank Shinigami we live in Japan." she grinned.
Duo: Woohoo! My kids worship Shinigami! I'm so proud!
Heero: Not in my country.
Quatre: But you're from L1.
Heero: *gives Quatre death glare*
Quatre: *cowers behind unconscious Trowa*
"It was so cool of you to move here after we were born."
"Where else would I get stuff like this to feed two half-cats without arousing suspicion?" Duo asked.
Quatre: So half-cat, half-humans are common in Japan?
Heero: At a freak show maybe.
Duo: They can work in the circus with Trowa!
Trowa: *wakes up* Hn?
Quatre: Trowa! *hugs Trowa* It's almost over.
Trowa: Good.
"Tell us about the war again, daddy." Shiva begged.
"Oh no.. not the War Story." Duo looked over at Hyoko. "You don't want to hear Daddy's War Story again, do you, girl?"
Heero: You actually told...?
Duo: I guess. Where'd you go, though? Weren't we lovers in this fic?
Heero: Don't remind me.
Hyoko rubbed her head against Duo's leg, purring happily.
Duo sighed and began...
-----OWARI-----
Quatre: Thank Allah!
Heero: If Wufei were awake he'd say thank Nataku.
Duo: Thank Shinigami!
Trowa: You're thanking yourself?
Duo: Yes.
Trowa: O...kay.
Quatre: Let's just leave!
* * *
"How did you like your fic?" Treize inquired as the five G-boys made their way from the theatre.
"You're evil!" Duo wailed. "What'd we do to deserve this?
Zechs shrugged. "You got in our way. So you didn't like the fic?"
"I wouldn't have sex with a panther!" Duo yelled. "This sucks. I'm going back to my room!" The pilot of Deathscythe stomped off.
Trowa looked over at Quatre. "Little one, you were being so hentai in there..."
Quatre giggled. "What, don't you like it when I talk dirty?"
The youth smiled briefly. "I didn't say that." Trowa picked Quatre up and carried him off to their room for some privacy. Heero and Wufei sweatdropped.
"What did you think, 01?" Zechs asked.
Heero turned his patented death glare on the OZ officers. "I'll find a way out and kill you both," he vowed. Zechs smirked. Heero stormed off, leaving Wufei alone with the viewscreen. Treize shot a look at Zechs, who took that as his cue to leave.
"My dragon," Treize cooed. "Now that I've got you alone..."
"Ha! I am up here on the satellite, while you are on Earth. You cannot do anything to me, Khushrenada!" Wufei crowed triumphantly.
"Haven't you ever heard of phone sex?" Treize inquired. Wufei stared at him with his jaw almost hitting the ground. The general smirked and removed his jacket and shirt, showing off his gorgeous pecs. "Still so confident, dragon?" he breathed.
Wufei's unconscious body hit the floor, blood gushing like a geyser.
Treize sighed and put his clothes back on. "Oh well, there's always tomorrow," he sighed, and turned off the viewscreen. The general of OZ went to bed, dreaming of his dragon and the tortures he would commit upon his friends...
~Owari~
How was that for our first MiSTing? Please send feedback! Mikata and I haven't decided what we'll do next time yet, so send us some fics, too! Ja ne! ~Jillypuff
