Author Note: Gosh how long has my computer been at the Geek Squad now? xD Well I'm back and I'll try to update my other story ASAP to those who read the first chapter of Can You Be A Little Mature?...or I think that's what I called it. I don't even remember any more haha. I've been working on this story for like a half a year now cause I couldn't find a way for Ponyboy to make the wish but now I hope the way I did it was okay. Enjoy xp.
I was staring into space again. Darry thought it was a bad habit and tried his best to stop me from doing it but he failed and Soda just gave me a sympathetic look n told Darry to lay off me cause I needed some space.
This has been going since about last month. Ever since my best friend; my nice and understanding best friend died in the hospital for one of my stupid mistakes. Ever since Johnny died I had no one there to tell my problems to. Well I guess there was my brother Sodapop but it's not the same. Soda's my brother he's supposed to listen to me. Or at least that's what I see happen when I see those families on TV. Jonny cakes and I weren't blood brothers. He could choose whether or not if he wanted to listen to me. That's exactly what made him special.
For awhile I felt my shoulders begin to shake but I blew it off. That really isn't important. I'm too far off in my thoughts anyway to pay attention what's going on around me. Then my thoughts began to drift to Dallas Winston. The you-have-to-be-tough-that's-how-you-survive greaser. The one who we never thought had a breaking point but he did.
If Dally was still alive he'd probably laugh at me for being so out of it. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if my mood made him turn to his fierce animal instinct and find out why I was so depressed. Just maybe though; just cause he does it for Johnny doesn't mean he'll do it for me. After all I'm just the tag along basically. Gosh I really need to stop thinking about Dallas and Johnny it messes up my head too much.
Suddenly I felt something cold splash onto me. My only reaction was to get up but someone put their hands on my shoulders and pushed me down with strong rough hands. I'm guessing it's Darry and by the way I hear Two-Bit laughed his smartass self off he probably poured cold water on me.
When I open my eyes I looked around and see Two-Bit with an empty bucket; Steve trying not to laugh while hiding his face behind Sodapop. Soda looking at me with that same stupid sympathetic look he just loves to give me, nd Darry right into my face.
"Well ain't this a surprise, the kids alive!"
His voice is so cheerful that it's annoying. Right now he's the only one laughing about it too. Well other than Steve of course. When Two-Bit sees me scowl at him he stops and Steve's laugh is reduced to a giggle. By now Darry is almost out the door to go to work. Steve begins eating a slice of chocolate cake while Soda goes upstairs because he forgot to wear shoes once again.
Darry uses this opportunity to talk with me. "Ponyboy Curtis; are you sure your feeling all right? I could stay home for the day and spend some time with you if you want."
I couldn't answer the first part of Darry's question because I really didn't know. Was I really alright in the head? I knew definitely that Darry really needed the work though. I couldn't deny him that we NEED the money.
"He's alright superman, don't go flippin houses or sumthin. Right Ponyboy?" Two-Bit announced with his usual chirpy voice.
I gave a fake smile and nodded. I had the fake smile perfected now so no one noticed a thing. I couldn't laugh at all anymore. No fake laughs. There are times when things are really funny but I can't laugh at things like those either or give a real smile. I guess those are the perks of depression. The only reason I attempt and show a fake smile is so the gang won't get worried.
Anyway, Two-bit really saved me with his goofiness. Whenever Darry had asked me any serious questions Two-Bit would always have some stupid joke to get him to back off and stop asking me.
When Soda came down to the living room Darry had already left to start the car while Steve gave Soda a high five and both of them ran threw the door without saying goodbye. Ever since I started having dreams about Johnny and Dallas I began to sleep downstairs. Which I think gave Soda the wrong impression that I hated him or sumthin. Darry almost had a fit about it but Sodapop told him to back off some. I didn't care though if I got yelled at for sleeping in the couch because I don't really wanna talk to anyone anymore. I never talked that much in the gang anyway and I was basically only excepted cause I was Soda's younger brother so if didn't talk to me or like me then I didn't have the gang - or at least the rest of it bother me all that much.
"Hey Two-Bit you actually think you're gonna watch me this time?" I say getting up from my chair.
I don't think he even hears me because of the loudness of the TV. He's too absorbed in Mickey, the rest of the chocolate cake, and alcohol. I already knew the answer anyway. I guess the only reason I asked was to hear my voice.
"Two-Bit I'm gonna go to the Tasty Freeze to go get some cokes? I'll be back soon so don't worry about hearing it from Darry." Two-bit actually heard me this time and nodded his head confirming an okay without turning his head to look at me.
With that I left. I didn't want to go to the Tasty Freeze. I'm not really thirsty. I don't even know why I said I wanted to go. But I already said it so I might as well just walk around a bit. I opened the door and walked out. I never thought I'd live a day without looking at and loving sunsets, but without Johnny or Dally the sky began to look more grey.
I guess I was wandering around and pondering for quite a while now because now I was in Soc territory. I've never actually been here before but the place basically screeched 'This is a Soc Area! No Greasers allowed.' There were benches and garbage pails n stuff and then barley any of them were around in Greaser territory.
After I looked around a bit I decided to sit on the bench closest to me. The Soc area was pretty silent compared to ours. I guess that's cause all the Socs go messing around our area around this time. Or maybe their watching movies with their pretty well kept together Soc girls. But anyway this place actually gave me a pretty calm feeling.
"Ponyboy! What on earth are you doing out here? Do you know how dangerous it is? It's getting really dark out!"
I looked up and I saw Sherry Valence. Why on earth was she lecturing me like she was my mom? She was the girl who didn't care about Johnny's death she only pitied us. When Dallas died she sure did bawl though. She only talked to me when no one was watching so I really didn't wanna approach her. I don't ever want sympathy for her and I never will want it. But I am in Soc territory so I guess I have an obligation to answer.
"Hey Cherry, don't mind me I'm just sitting. If this is your bench I'll get up it don't bother me none."
She musta got offended cause she stomped her foot really loudly. This is one of the moments where I wish I could laugh at her wild cherry side that came out when she talked with Dallas.
"No Ponyboy I'm saying don't ya think it's dangerous for you being here, and I hear from Two-Bit that you're not acting quite yourself now a days.
Damn Two-bit. Where do he get off telling some red head Soc who I don't like my business.
"Don't know what your talkin bout Sherry."
"Yeah I do Pony!" She starts her voice becoming more demanding by the second. "Two-Bit told me everything. Everyone's worried about you!" Now she really was starting to annoy me.
"Will you just shut up you Stupid Soc?" I state quickly getting up, looking at her in her face.
I think I see a tear about to fall out of her eye and then she gave me a nice slap on my right cheek.
"Ponyboy you're terrible!" She yelled suddenly running away with her hands over her eyes.
Good riddance. The stinging pain on my cheek actually felt pretty good though. I began to shake my head trying to get rid of the thought. Pain don't feel good! I'm not weird like that.
I look up into the sky and Sherry is actually right. It is pretty dark I'm guessing that it's nighttime. It's pretty freezing too. The gangs probably searching for me by now nd to tell the truth I really don't care. Darry might yell at me but he's done that before so it's not like I'm not used to it. I almost laugh when I get the image of Two-Bit getting yelled at by Darry for letting me go off by myself. Steve's probably smiling because I'm gone. I don't really see an image of Soda doing anything because to tell the truth I don't know what he thinks of me.
So I got up and started walking threw the darkness. My beat up shoes sure did look ugly against the diamond looking street. I can't look at it anymore; so I look up at the sky instead. I can know see I was wrong about me and Sherry being able to see the same sunset. I can tell cause there night sky looks way better than ours. You can see hope in there's in ours it looks like hope has already faded away. I bet you that these Soc's don't even look at their sky. They probably take it for something only people who weren't tough do.
Maybe they were right though. Johnny nd I weren't tuff. We tried to be. Greasers were supposed to be tuff nd even if we looked the part we can't be like them. Poor guy. He didn't wanna die yet. It should've been me instead. I killed that Soc! I remember it! But everyone still chose to lie to the judge and told him that it was Johnny who killed him.
If only if I hadn't saved those kids. If only I hadn't insulted those Socs. If only I hadn't told him to run away with me. Johnny Cade, my best friend, would still be alive.
In the sky I see an airplane. I close my eyes for a second and pretend it's a shooting star those things my mom nd dad told me about. I wish Johnny Cade had my life and I had his. I wish the whole Soc incident never happened.
Suddenly I feel my legs give out on me and I feel is….
Darkness
