She reached around her desk blindly to shut off the alarm clock. Santana pulled her covers down just barely enough to be able to peek through the covers to check the time. 6:00 a.m. She sighed. And so the daily grind begins. She literally rolled out of bed and onto her floor, picked up clothes along the way and dragged herself to shower. She shivered in the cold winter morning as she shed her clothes to hop in the shower. The water was lukewarm, bordering on cool. This was how she woke herself up for the before school Cheerios practice. The water surprises her, as if she forgot how it felt every morning, but damn it, she's Santana and water shall not hurt her. She quickly dried herself off, put some make up and got dressed hastily. 6:20 a.m. Damn, she was five minutes behind schedule. Guess the morning drive's going to be extra fast today, she thought and smirked.

Per usual, she swung by Tom's Coffee a block from school. The two coffees were already set out and ready for her to pick up. She swooped in, waved to Tom, dropped the cash on the counter and walked back out to the car. She hummed along to the music playing in her car, not really paying attention to what it was. The one perk about coming to school this early was prime parking. She pulled up close the field and checked her pony one last time in the mirror. She let one long breath out before she got out of her car. As soon as she stood up, she straightened her pose, arched her head up and walked to the field with the coffees.

Quinn didn't have to set her alarm anymore. She would get texts promptly at six in the morning waking her up and that was her new alarm system. She opened her phone and smiled. She'd reply later; she was awake, but that didn't mean she could write coherent messages yet. She hopped in the shower and stood there for a moment, taking in the warmth. She felt around the side of her stomach and looked at the stretch marks. That wasn't going away anytime soon, it seemed. She shook her head as if she could physically shake those thoughts away and came out of the shower. Quinn took her Cheerios uniform off the hangers and slid them on. She looked in the mirror, twirled around to check for anything wrong and walked out the door with an apple in her hand.

She was first on the field when she got to school, as she should be as captain. She surveyed the field, her land. She put her hands on her hips and turned around from her spot. She reached down her duffle bag and brought out her watch and clipboard. She now had to wait for her Cheerios to come in, check their appearance and timeliness. She could already see Santana pulling into the lot. Quinn watched her as she seemingly willed her tiredness away from her face as she walked towards her. Santana stopped in front of Quinn and handed a coffee over. They both nodded in acknowledgement, and then Santana took her place beside her as they looked out to the lot to wait for the others in silence.

Much of Santana and Quinn's friendship functioned in silence. They had grown up in strict Catholic families where expectations were high and not questioned. Santana was the oldest of three and was expected to set an example for her younger siblings. Her parents were always working and she was pretty much running the household and raising her brother and sister. When her parents were home, they were like strangers who long since forgotten why they were together anymore. The only reason they were together, it seemed, was that they could hold the image of a perfect family in their respective high powered jobs where they were under the illusion that stable home meant a stable person. The silence in the house when her parents' were home was deafening and it drove Santana crazy. Quinn was the youngest of two and was expected to follow in her sister's perfect steps, who in turn had followed their mother's impeccable steps. Her parents stayed together because every good Catholic family knew how to keep a family together. Her parents were fantastic liars that could have fooled anyone, but in the darkness of night, there were drunken fights and so much screaming and yelling. The noise in the house when her parents' were home was terrifying and it drove Quinn crazy.

When Quinn was pregnant, the first person she told was Santana. The next morning, she started bringing Quinn tea or steamed milk instead of the usual black coffee. Santana was the one who drove her to her doctor's appointments and bought her prenatal vitamins with the hush money Santana's parents doled out to her every month. Santana was the one who helped Quinn get back into shape to become head Cheerio again. Quinn felt like she owed Santana everything but Santana felt otherwise. When Quinn doubted herself, Santana always reminded her.

"Q, you have to get back up on top. I can't protect us like you can. I can't do it with all eyes on me. You've always done what had to be done and you'll do it again. I know it's hard to turn emotions off but just two more years and we'll be good. This is going to work. Now suck it up, Fabray, let's get this shit over with."

They staged Quinn's path back to the top, down to the fight in the hallway, because really, who would believe Santana went down without a fight? Everything was carefully thought out since the moment they entered high school; every fight, every interaction, every bit of their public persona. In that aspect, they had excellent training from their family's Oscar worthy performance of keeping lifelong perfect family images. They found their ticket out in high school and they held on with a death grip because with great motive came great dedication. They each found their life at McKinley to be a role that must be filled for four years in order to leave.

After morning practice, the duo was now joined by Brittany who was talking about how her new underwear with polar bears on them kept her warmer. By now, Quinn and Santana learned to not question Brittany about things but to just nod and accept. Things were easier that way and it was always quite amusing anyway. The three trailed behind the rest of the squad while heading into the building for the official start of the school day. Quinn was finishing writing a note and folding it up. Santana was watching Brittany's wild gestures and dances describing her underwear because she's Brittany and that's how she rolled. Brittany stopped when they were near the doors and took Santana's hand and squeezed it gently. Santana looked over at her and smiled. She held on until Brittany let go and skipped ahead of them to get to first period with Artie. Santana was never able to let go first. If you didn't blink, you'd have noticed Santana's chin quiver for a millisecond, then return to stone. Quinn looked over at her best friend before opening the doors.

"Ready?"

Santana let a breath out. "Always."

When they entered, the student body parted to set a path for them. They separated at the first corner without a word to go to their respective classes. Quinn took her time at her locker so she could pace herself correctly for the perfect cover while she eyed the target locker. There was a crowd moving in that direction so she quickly closed her locker and positioned herself next to a bumbling jock. She slid next to the locker and slipped the note in and continued down the hall with no change in pace. Time for first period.

Sam had saved Quinn a seat when she walked into class. He smiled and pulled out the chair when she came near. She smiled back and pecked him on the cheek as she sat down. Class started right away so they had no chance to talk, which Quinn felt relieved about. It had been a long week and she just wanted it to end. It was weeks like those where Quinn wondered how she was going to survive another year of this crap.

Just as she was zoning out, Sam leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Hey, can you tell Mr. Schue I won't make it to the glee lunch meeting? I have to do a makeup quiz from yesterday." Quinn nodded and returned to zoning out again. Maybe if she stared at the clock hard enough, time will move faster.

Surprisingly, Rachel was the last to come into the choir room for the glee lunch meeting. Unsurprisingly, she marched in talking.

"Fellow glee clubbers, Mr. Schue will be running late today, but it has come to my attention that…"

That was as much as Santana paid attention to. From the corner of her eye, she could see Brittany on Artie's lap while he whirled around in circles causing Brittany to giggle. She was trying really hard not to look and wasn't sure if she could hold her facial expressions still any longer.

"Brittany! Artie! Please, this is no time for your shenanigans! Regionals are upon us and we must take things seriously!" Rachel reprimanded them. Once they halted, she resumed her focus to the center of the room and continued talking. Santana mouthed a thank you to Rachel from the back of the room to which Rachel responded with a slight nod without interrupting her speech.

Opposite Santana was Quinn, sitting with her head in her hand, dozing off. Rachel noticed and yelled across the room, "Quinn!"

Quinn didn't even flinch, instead just frowned and muttered a "shh!" before resuming her dozing. If Quinn had opened her eyes, she would have seen the scathing look Rachel threw at her.

The glee lunch meeting dragged on with Rachel's vision of Regionals until the bell rang and everyone went their separate ways once more. Santana tried not to be too ecstatic to be able to walk with Brittany to their one class together and linked their pinkies to contain herself.

Quinn only woke up when the warning bell rang to an empty classroom. She looked down at her bag and found a heart shaped cookie and smiled. But when she took it out, she found it broken in half. Well, shit.

That day was one of the rare days where there were no Cheerios or glee practice due to Mr. Schue getting sick again. Sue had to film her television segment early that day so she let practice slide that afternoon, not because it had started to rain outside. Santana went straight to Brittany's house after collecting her things. She couldn't wait to just collapse.

When she walked into Brittany's room, she was already lying down in her bed reading a comic book. She set it down as soon as Santana walked in.

"It was just pretend, San."

"I know, B." She looked over at Brittany. "It still stings sometimes, you know?"

"Maybe you should be the one with Artie, then. He's super nice about all of this. I could be the strong one for us," said Brittany and held her arms up and flexed.

Santana laughed and sat next to Brittany. "No, B. You already are the strong one between us. That's why I can't be with Artie. I'm not strong enough to hold a relationship with anyone but you. I don't know how to pretend to have feelings for anyone else. I'm just not strong enough to hold a relationship to protect us. You're the strong one, Brittany. You always have been."

Brittany sighed. "Do you think sometimes they have it easier? At least they don't talk to each other and stuff at school."

Santana thought about Quinn's situation for a moment. "I don't know, B. I think they have it a lot harder. All those feelings inside and they can't ever show it at all."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Santana crawled into bed with Brittany. "It's okay, you don't have to worry, San. I'm super strong so you'll always be protected."

Quinn rushed home just in case the practice free day was a trick and they retracted this glorious day. She changed, finished her homework as quickly as possible and headed out the door again.

When she parked and walked, no ran, to the door of her destination, she could already smell the brownies baking from outside. She opened the door that she knew was unlocked and made a beeline for the kitchen. She saw her favorite person in the whole world and was starting to lean in when she was stopped by a finger pushing her back from her chest.

"And what do you think you're doing?"

"Well," Quinn said slowly, "I thought I was leaning in to kiss you but clearly that is not the case."

"You are correct."

Quinn paused and pouted. "But…but why?"

"Quinn, you fell asleep while I was giving a very important speech today! And not only that, you further humiliated me by shushing me! You. Shushed. Me."

"Oh," Quinn immediately looked down at her shoe, "that." Quinn really hoped that Rachel's "subtle" message with the cookie was going to be it and her anger would have subsided. She was thinking of something to say in case Rachel was still mad at her while she was driving over but totally forgot once she saw her girlfriend. Well, Quinn wasn't going to forget now, that's for sure.

"Yes, Quinn Fabray. That. I know we aren't out or even friends in public but did you really have to shush me? And I know you don't listen to everything I say but really, was that necessary?"

"Rach, I do listen!" Rachel arched her eyebrow at that. "Okay, with the exception of today, I really do listen! I don't even know where that came from. It's just I've been really tired this week. Things have been really hard and the stress to keep things together is harder some days than others. With school, Cheerios, glee, my mom, Sam and you, it gets to be a lot. Not that I'm complaining about you! Never! I just…I'm sorry." Quinn tugged at Rachel's apron but the brunette didn't budge. "Rach, please! All I wanted to do all day was spend time with you. That's all I want to do all the time now! Can't you forgive me? I even finished my homework like you keep telling me to before I come here because I distract too easily."

Rachel smiled at that. This was quite the contrast from the calm, collected and icy Quinn of McKinley. This Quinn was pouting, fidgeting and pleading and visibly squirmed anytime Rachel was less than happy with her. "Fine, you may stay."

Quinn jumped up and smiled and then quickly blushed after realizing she jumped up in the air.

Rachel reached for the brownie mix but paused to look at Quinn. "I wish it wasn't so hard, Quinn. I know this is how it has to be for a while but I see you so exhausted every day and I don't know if it's all worth…"

"You are always worth it. Don't even go there." Quinn's tone was quick to turn serious. She softened when she saw how Rachel tensed at her sudden change. "Rach, I told you from the beginning, if this ever gets to be too much for you, if it ever hurts you and you don't want to do this anymore to tell me. I would never hold it against you. I know I'm asking a lot of you. You just need to say the word. I don't want you to be involved in something that you don't want to be part of because of me. I know there's a lot of lying going on but we have good guys helping us and they understand. You have to be completely honest with me for this to work, remember? I swear to you I never doubt us. I may doubt a lot of things but I never doubt how I feel about you."

"I know. I'm in this. I don't doubt us, either." Rachel sighed and leaned into Quinn's shoulder. "I wish I could have some kind of positive interaction with you at school. At least Santana and Brittany get to hold pinkies and talk to each other at school."

"That's why I leave you notes in your locker. So you know I'm there even when it doesn't feel like it." Quinn wrapped an arm around Rachel's waist. "And besides, I think those two have it a lot harder. They're so close to it being real but they have to pull back each time."

Rachel sighed again. "Yes, I suppose so."

They stood in silence for a while, letting the conversation marinate within them. Quinn started to lean in but Rachel moved back. "You're still in the doghouse so none of that for you. But you can help me finish these brownies. And don't roll your eyes at me," she said without looking at Quinn who was already rolling her eyes. While Rachel was starting to mix the ingredients and give instructions, Quinn grabbed her butt.

"Quinn!"

Quinn shrugged and smiled. "I got distracted."