I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus
Disclaimer: I don't own Drake and Josh but if I did, it would still be on and this would be a future episode.
Rated T
Summary: Drake & Josh's daughter sees Drake kiss Santa. (A little crack fic i wrote for Christmas a few years ago so I thought I'd share)
"Are they still up?" Josh asked Drake.
"Are you guys up?" Drake yelled.
A little six year old raven haired girl ran down the stairs. "I'm up daddy!"
"Here, Daddy wants to talk to you" He said. She referred to both of her dads as Daddy.
Drake handed her the phone "Daddy," she said.
"Kennedy, Hey baby," Josh said.
"I love you daddy," she told him.
"I love you too," Josh said. "I won't be home until after you're asleep so I wanted to tell you goodnight. I guess your brother and sister are asleep already."
"Yes," she said.
"Okay, well you need to go too so give daddy back the phone," he told her. "Goodnight, baby."
"Goodnight, Daddy," Kennedy said and gave the phone back to Drake. She hugged and kissed him before running back upstairs to bed.
Kennedy was unable to sleep. She wanted to get to sleep so her daddy would come home but she couldn't. She was too excited to go to her grandparents tomorrow while her parents would be gone.
She heard the door close. She knew it couldn't be her daddy because he said he wouldn't be home until after she was asleep and she knew her daddy didn't lie. She waited to see if anyone came upstairs but nobody did so she thought maybe it was her aunt Megan with her cousins or something so she quietly tiptoed out of her room to peek downstairs.
"Ho, ho, ho," Josh said standing in the Santa costume.
"I'm not a ho, I'm a married woman," Drake joked.
"Married huh, must be pretty boring," Josh said.
"Not really Santa. I have an amazing husband," Drake said walking toward Josh.
"Oh yeah, tell me about this husband," Josh said.
"He's a wonderful father," Drake said.
"Go on," Josh insisted.
Drake whispered something in his ear. When he was finished they smiled at each other. Drake ran his hand down Santa's beard.
"Santa, you're such a bear," Drake said.
"And is that something you like?" Josh asked.
"Maybe," Drake said.
"Well, maybe we should find out for sure," Josh said and closed the distance between them entering into a deep passionate kiss.
Kennedy's eyes widened. She never saw her daddy, either one of them, kiss anyone other than each other like that. She even commented an "eww kissing" thing once and they told her it was okay because they were married and that was a married kiss. She knew one thing was for sure… Santa Claus was married to a woman and her daddy was married to a man that wasn't Santa; he was married to her other daddy.
She didn't like seeing Santa Claus kiss her daddy. If he wanted to kiss boys then he could but not her daddy. He was supposed to be bringing her presents, not kissing her daddy, aka D. Daddy.
She went back to her room and quietly shut the door. She climbed under the covers and tried to fall asleep quickly so her other daddy would get home and hit Santa for kissing D. Daddy.
Josh walked to a chair and sat down. "Come sit on Santa's lap and tell me what you want for Christmas."
Drake straddled Josh's lap.
"Have you been naughty or nice?" Josh asked.
"Naughty," Drake said, "But, maybe I can persuade you to give me more than a lump of coal."
"Perhaps," Josh said "How do you plan on doing that?"
"Well, let me show you to my room," Drake said.
"You're husband won't be home or mind?" Josh asked.
"I'll just have to tell him the truth. He knows how naughty I can be and will be pleased I tried to redeem myself," Drake told him.
"Sounds like a good man," Josh said.
"The best… in every way," Drake said kissing Josh again. Josh ran his hands down Drake's back and then back up.
When the kiss broke Josh spoke, "Let me see your room."
Drake got off and led "Santa Josh" up to their room.
The next morning Josh put the Santa costume in a bag and they got the kids up.
Josh knocked on the oldest daughter's door. "Abby," he yelled.
"Come in Dad" she said.
He walked in and she was already dressed.
"I want Daddy, not you!" they heard Kennedy yell.
"Joooosh!" Drake yelled.
Abby and Josh looked at each other.
"Sounds serious, Dad," Abby laughed.
"Can you make sure your brother is awake?" Josh asked.
"Yeah, but if anyone could sleep through her and dads screams then they're deafm" Abby stated.
"Yeah, honey, I know of one," he said.
"Good point. I'll get him up," She said.
Josh walked in Kennedy's room to see Kennedy with her princess star wand out pointing it toward Drake like a sword.
Josh couldn't help but smile. It quickly faded when he saw Drake look at him "What's going on?" he asked.
"Ask her. She's freaking out. She loved me last night and well now," Drake pointed to the wand "this".
"Well people's opinion of you can change rather quickly," Josh pointed out.
"Funny, and maybe but not my daughter," Drake said.
"Right. Kennedy, what's wrong?" Josh asked.
Kennedy dropped the wand and ran to Josh. Josh picked her up. "I just wanted you," she said and smiled happily.
Drake threw his hands up and started walking out "We shouldn't have used Megan's eggs," he said joking making Josh laugh.
Josh caught his hand and Drake stopped "She just knows what she wants and who she wants. So, sir, I think she's acting more like you than Megan."
Josh put Kennedy down and touched the side of Drake's face and kissed him.
Kennedy gave them an evil look. She knew she had to find Santa and Mrs. Claus and fast. She knew Drake wasn't happy when he started walking out.
"I love you," Josh told Drake.
Drake smiled "I love you too," he told him and then looked at Kennedy "and I love you too, even if you are a diva," he smiled.
She shrugged and turned around smiling sarcastically.
Thirteen year old Abby, nine year old Tyler and Kennedy walked into Audrey and Walter's, who greeted the kids with a hug. Drake and Josh brought their bags in and thanked them for keeping the kids, to which they were very happy to do.
While they were still visiting, Megan came in with her two children so she could help Audrey with decorations and the cousins could play, with Abby only "babysitting" of course.
When Drake and Josh had to leave, they went to hug and kiss the kids goodbye. Abby and Tyler were receptive. Kennedy ran to Josh, "I love you Daddy,".
"I love you too," he told her with a hug and kiss.
"Kennedy," Drake said.
She looked at him and sighed.
"God Drake, what did you do to her today?" Megan asked laughing.
"I have no idea. She woke up like this," Drake told her. "She went from loving me to hating me in less than twelve hours."
"Well, I can understand that," Megan teased.
"Kennedy, really, what's going on?" Josh asked her.
"Nothing," the precocious child told him.
"Well, you need to go give a hug and kiss bye. He loves you and is going to miss you very much," Josh told her.
"Okayyyy," She said, reminding Josh she was so much like Drake.
She walked over to Drake and let him pick her up. "I love you," He looked at her softly, "You know that right?"
She nodded. "I love you too." They shared a hug and Drake put her down.
–
The next morning, Drake made a special appearance in L.A. at a charity event for underprivileged children, while Josh came out in the Santa suit and handed out gifts.
When Abby, Tyler and Kennedy got up, Audrey told them they were going to go shopping and go see Santa at the mall.
"Really?" Kennedy said.
"Yeeesss," Audrey told her cautiously. She noticed her youngest granddaughter had that devious Parker look in her eye.
"Good. I need to talk to him," Kennedy said and rushed upstairs to get dressed.
When they got to the mall, they went to a few stores and bought some presents. Kennedy was persistent about seeing Santa. Audrey told her after they had lunch they would go.
"Will Mrs. Claus be there?" Kennedy asked.
"I don't know honey, why?" Audrey asked.
"Because I have to tell her something," Kennedy told her Grandma.
"Okay," Audrey nodded.
Kennedy was trying to rush her family through lunch. Abby and Audrey laughed at how excited she was. Tyler was getting annoyed by his little sister's anxiousness. When Audrey reminded him that he used to get just as excited, he replied that he was a big kid now and felt that just a letter was the way to go now. Audrey kissed her grandson's head.
They made their way to the "North Pole" and saw that Mrs. Claus was in fact, with Santa. That made Kennedy even happier. Audrey stood in line with Kennedy, while Abby and Tyler watched from the side. The two older kids noticed the way Kennedy was glaring at Santa.
"Oh, this is gonna be good," Tyler grinned.
Abby softly hit his arm, "Stop it." she smiled. He looked at her and laughed.
It was Kennedy's turn next. She made her way over to Santa and Mrs. Claus, who sat next to him.
"Hi there young lady," Santa said as she sat on his lap. "What's your name?"
"Kennedy Parker Nichols," She stated.
He knew by the name that she was a celebrity child. He smiled bigger, "Okay, Kennedy Parker Nichols, what is it that you want for Christmas?"
"Well," she said matter of factly, "for you to not kiss my daddy anymore."
The look of shock on both Santa and Mrs' Claus's face was prices and forever captured in the picture that was taken at precisely that moment.
"What do you mean?" Santa asked.
She looked at Mrs. Claus, "Look, I saw him kiss my daddy. Not my daddy Josh, but my daddy Drake. You know, , and Santa's married to you. is married to Daddy, and only married people are supposed to kiss like that."
Mrs. Claus was trying to hold back the laughter as Audrey walked up to Kennedy.
"Kennedy, honey, I don't think it was like that," Audrey said. She silently said "I'm sorry," to Santa.
"No Grandma, I know what I saw. I wasn't asleep yet and Santa came in and kissed ." Kennedy said and turned back to Santa, "So don't do it again. Keep your presents. I don't think you should come to my house again. I didn't tell Daddy. He would be so mad at you, so just stay away."
Santa didn't know how to react to anything Kennedy said.
Tyler looked at Abby, "Awesome!" for Kennedy's outburst, and granted, if she saw it, it had to be true. He didn't want to tell Abby or Audrey or anybody else, but inside he was proud of his sister because if Santa kissed , that wasn't good and he didn't like the idea either and didn't want him to come to their house either.
"Tyler, shh," Abby said but smiled also. The amusement itself was great for her and couldn't wait until her dads found out. She wasn't exactly sure what Kennedy saw, but knew it definitely wasn't Santa. Then she stopped smiling and just hoped it wasn't some look a like and that wasn't really kissing somebody else, especially in their house.
"Kennedy, come on. We will talk about this at home, and with both of your daddies, okay?" Audrey said.
Kennedy shrugged and climbed off Santa's lap, "I said what I had to say."
"I am so sorry again," Audrey told Santa. "I don't know what she's talking about but I'm so sorry for the misunderstanding."
Santa nodded, "It's okay, and good luck."
"Thanks," Audrey told him. She reluctantly paid for the picture. She couldn't wait to get home and talk to Kennedy and talk to Drake and Josh about the "misunderstanding". When they got back to the house, Audrey told Abby and Tyler to go upstairs so she could talk to Kennedy.
Kennedy sat on the couch next to her Grandma. Audrey asked her what she saw. Kennedy repeated the story about hearing the door and knowing it wasn't Josh because he told her he'd be there after she was asleep. She told her she thought it was Aunt Megan but when she peeked, she saw Santa Claus kiss Drake, and that it was the married kind of kiss.
"Oh, honey," Audrey hugged her granddaughter and smiled where Kennedy couldn't see her. "Look, we will talk to your daddies when they get here, okay? We'll find out what happened."
Kennedy wasn't happy but knew she had to wait until her daddies got there. She sighed and went upstairs to play. When Walter came in, Audrey told him about the encounter. He laughed and told her he wondered how the boys were going to explain this one. She laughed and told him she had no idea.
Tyler came down to see Walter. "Grandpa it was awesome," he told him, referring to Kennedy's "meeting" with the Claus'. He followed him to the kitchen.
"And what do you think of it young man?" Walter asked.
"Well, you know," Tyler shrugged.
Walter made them some hot chocolate and sat at the table with him. Tyler then confessed how he felt about it. "Kennedy doesn't lie." He reminded Walter. "And what if Santa did kiss Dad. I mean, does that mean he's going to leave us?"
"Oh hon, no." Walter said. He reached across the table and took his hand. "Look buddy, I don't know what Kennedy saw exactly, but your parents love each other and neither of them would leave each other or any of you kids. So you don't worry about it okay."
Tyler nodded, "Are you sure?"
Walter smiled at the boy who seemed to really be worried. Walter winked at him, "I may not be able to say I'm sure about a lot of things in this world, but that's one thing I am most certainly sure of."
Tyler smiled. He had a whipped cream mustache above his smile that reminded him so much of Josh when he was a little boy, though he saw a lot of Drake in Tyler also, especially given his warped sense of humor (i.e. Kennedy's outburst being "Awesome")
Audrey went upstairs to Drake and Josh's old room (which now was a playroom) to check on Kennedy. She saw her happily (at the moment) playing a video game. She was too afraid to see which one seeing how her granddaughter shared the same DNA as her own children, it was probably one where she was fighting someone instead of something sweet and princess like. She chuckled to herself at her grandchildren.
Abby got off the couch and walked to Audrey, "Grandma, can I talk to you a minute?"
Audrey saw the look of concern in Abby's eyes. She hoped Kennedy hadn't said anything more. "Sure," She told her. They went to her and Walters bedroom and sat on the bed to talk. "What's up sweetie?"
Abby sighed, "I know Kennedy didn't actually see "Santa Claus" kiss Dad, but she saw someone do it. She wouldn't make it up or lie about something like that. She doesn't lie at all, believe me."
"I know honey, but there has got to be some explanation," Audrey tried to comfort her.
"I guess, but, what if Dad really did do that, I mean not with Santa but with someone. Are they going to get a divorce?" Abby asked.
Audrey hugged her eldest granddaughter. "Honey, no. And it can't be anything like that. I'm sure of it. Your dad wouldn't do that."
"It's just," Abby said, "Jessica's parents got divorced because her dad had a girlfriend and, I don't know. It's just something I thought about."
"Your parents love each other so much. They have for a very long time and they will for the rest of their lives. You have nothing to worry about and as soon as they get here, I'll talk to them so we can clear all of this up," Audrey said.
–
Megan came over with the kids who ran upstairs to play with Kennedy and Tyler and "visit" with Abby. Audrey handed Megan the picture.
Megan looked at it, then looked at Audrey and Walter. "What did she do? Santa looks petrified and Mrs. Claus looks like she's about to pee her pants?"
Audrey told her the story. Megan laughed at it. "What in the world?"
"I don't know," Audrey said. "Part of it really is funny, but then the older two got paranoid Drake and Josh were going to get divorced and that part isn't funny."
Walter explained to Megan what he told Tyler and Audrey did the same about what she told Abby. Megan told them that regardless of that, just the Kennedy verbal attack on Santa and the picture truly was funny, to which they all agreed.
–
Drake and Josh walked in. "Hey guys," Drake said.
"Whore," Megan said.
"What?" Drake said.
"I called you a whore," She said.
"What?" he repeated. She started laughing. "What is she talking about?" He asked their parents.
"Well," Audrey said, "You're daughter basically told the mall you were having an affair with Santa."
"WHAT?" Both Josh and Drake said in unison.
Audrey told them the story and showed them the picture.
"Oh my God," Josh said.
"Yeah," Drake agreed.
"Well, that explains why she was so pissed at you this morning," Josh pointed out.
"I guess," Drake said, "But she didn't say anything about it."
"Drake, face it, that child was mad at you but even more mad at Santa. Her goal was to talk to him about it, not either of you. She's just as stubborn as you are, as both of you are and have been at times, she takes care of things herself already at this age," Audrey told them. "So, what's the real story?"
"Well," Josh said, "I got the Santa suit for Drake's appearance today and supposedly the children were asleep, so I thought I'd, uh, surprise him."
"Yeah, well, I guess one of them wasn't asleep," Megan snickered. Drake smirked and flipped her off.
"You're going to have to talk to them, all of them. Abby is worried you're having an affair with a Santa look a like and Tyler is in agreement with Kennedy about Santa staying away. Tyler asked me if you were going to leave them Drake, and Abby asked Audrey if you guys were going to get a divorce," Walter told them.
Both Drake and Josh sighed. Josh nodded. "I'll go talk to Kennedy,"
"I'll go too," Drake said.
They went upstairs to where the kids were playing. Kennedy saw Josh and ran to him, "Daddy!"
"Hey baby, we need to talk to you," he told her. They went to Megan's old room (now a guest room) to talk.
Josh explained about Drake having to sing for the children this morning and he dressed up like Santa to make them feel better and help Santa give them a better Christmas. After the explanation she apologized to Drake and climbed on his lap, giving him a hug and a kiss and telling him she loved him soooooo much.
Drake told her it was okay and he was sorry too and he loved her soooooo much too. Then he told her something she was not happy to hear. "I think you need to apologize to Santa and Mrs. Claus, don't you?"
"Can I just write a letter like Tyler?" Kennedy asked.
Drake raised his eyebrows, smiled and shook his head, "Noooo."
"Okay, fine," She pouted and walked out of the room to get her shoes on.
Josh laughed and hugged Drake. "Fuck you Josh," Drake laughed too.
"I don't know. Didn't seem to work out real good the last time," Josh teased and then kissed Drake and told him he loved him, which Drake returned the sentiment.
"Well, one down, two more to go," Josh said. "Go get him."
Drake nodded and went to the playroom, "Hey Ty, come here for a second."
"Kay Dad," he said and handed the cousin that wasn't holding a game controller his so he could take over while he was gone. Tyler went to the bedroom to talk to his dads.
Drake and Josh explained almost word for word to Tyler seeing as he still believed in Santa, they just used a more age appropriate language. Drake assured him he wasn't leaving Josh or him and his sisters and told him how much he loved all of them.
Tyler smiled and hugged both his dads and told them he loved them. They hugged him back and told him they loved him too and so send Abby in there when he went back in the playroom.
"Hey," Abby said as she came in and sat on the bed.
"Look, Abs," Drake said, "I'm not kissing anybody else. I'm not going to. We aren't going to get a divorce."
"But why did Kennedy say you kissed Santa?" The young teen asked.
"It was me dressed up like Santa," Josh said. "I got the suit for Dad's appearance for the charity this morning."
Abby started laughing hysterically. She thought even more so now that her sisters behavior at the mall today was hilarious.
"Nice." Drake said, "Thanks Abs, I love you too."
"Come on Dad," She laughed, "It's really funny. You should've seen her." She proceeded to tell her parents how it looked from where she was standing. "So, can I go now? I've got to call Jessica. She's going to love this."
"Yeah," Drake smirked, "Sure... have fun at my expense."
"Always, Dad," Abby left as she walked out.
Drake and Josh looked at each other and laughed. Josh lay back on the bed pulling Drake back with him. Drake put his head on Josh's chest until Josh laughed so hard Drake thought it would give him brain damage to remain there any longer,
"You're enjoying this aren't you?" Drake asked.
"Oh yes," Josh smiled.
"Yeah yeah, get it out of your system. It wasn't you who they thought was screwing Santa," Drake said.
"I don't know baby," Josh said pulling Drake closer. "In a way though, you did."
Drake raised his eyebrows and leaned down to kiss his husband.
"Come on," Josh said. "We have to go take your daughter to apologize to Santa."
Drake growled. Josh laughed and kissed him quickly.
The two of them plus Kennedy made their way to the mall.
–
Kennedy was not very anxious to be standing in this line as as she was earlier. Mrs. Claus spotted Kennedy when she was second in line and smiled. She saw her dads were with her and couldn't wait for Kennedy to get back on Santa's lap.
When it was her turn, she stood still. Drake gently nudged her, "Go on,"
She sighed and walked up to Santa. Drake and Josh let their daughter go up first and quickly followed. Santa definitely remembered that child as well as recognized Drake and Josh. Kennedy seemed shyer than she was earlier. He figured her parents explained whatever it was that happened to cause a misunderstanding.
"Kennedy Parker Nichols, you're back," he said. She nodded. "Well, climb on up here." he patted his knee.
She sat down and looked at him sheepishly. "I'm sorry."
"Oh, ho, ho," he laughed, "It's okay."
"Okay," She said and looked at Mrs. Claus. "Santa didn't kiss . Daddy dressed up like Santa to help Santa make some kids feel better."
"Okay dear," Mrs. Claus said, "That's okay." She smiled and winked at Kennedy.
Kennedy looked back at Santa. "You could've told me daddy was helping you when I was here earlier."
Drake, Josh, Santa and Mrs. Claus laughed. "I thought your daddy would want to tell you himself," he winked at her, "So, I'm sorry too."
"It's okay," She smiled.
Santa asked her what she wanted for Christmas and she whispered in his ear. He nodded and whispered back. When that was finished, they looked at the camera and got a proper picture with Santa and an extra one with Drake standing by Mrs. Claus and Josh standing by Santa with Kennedy on his lap. They paid for the pictures and went back to Walter and Audrey's.
"They've got their hands full with that one," Santa said, "She's way too smart for her own good."
Mrs. Claus laughed, "Yeah, well, I remember a young boy like that once," She smiled at her son (Santa Claus). "And son, if you did decide to kiss somebody's dad, that would be the one to kiss. He's a hottie."
"Mom," Santa looked at his mother causing her to laugh again. They quickly resumed their roles as another child appeared.
–
When Drake, Josh and Kennedy got back to Audrey's, Kennedy happily ran upstairs to tell her cousins how she got to see Santa two times today.
Drake and Josh exhaustedly plopped down on the love seat.
"Isn't parenting fun?" Audrey teased.
Drake sarcastically laughed and then genuinely smiled.
"So," Megan said, "You guys ready for another one?" She patted her abdomen, "There's plenty more eggs where those came from."
"NO!" Drake and Josh said simultaneously. They all laughed.
When Drake, Josh and the kids got home, Drake and Josh were getting their bags to bring in.
When Josh picked up the Santa suit, Drake touched it and said, "Yeah, maybe we should burn this." causing them both to laugh.
