It should have been gravy- a fourth consecutive win for nationals under his belt? Any Broadway director would be begging for him to come and perform. In fact he already had multiple universities begging him to come and join their theater arts programs. After all- he was Jesse St James. Even his name screamed star quality. And that's because he was a star.
But it should have been easy- win regionals, then move on to Nationals and take them all by the storm. He would blow them away. Maybe not as much as the time they did the routine completely on their hands- but he digressed.
But then something happened. And that something had a name.
Rachel Berry.
When had he messed everything up? Had the lies started the moment he met her?
He liked to say so. That way the ache in his chest didn't hurt as much when he pretended he hadn't ever been in love with her.
And the way she had looked at Finn when they were singing in Regionals broke his heart. Again. Had she really gotten over him so easily?
But then he saw the look and he knew that she still had feelings for him. Hate could turn back to love couldn't it? Besides- last he had heard she still had his number programmed into her phone. And still on speed dial.
And it was good she hated him right? Hate was better than no emotion at all.
Why did it sound so pathetic out loud? As though he were trying to convince himself. He was Jesse St James- he knew who he was and he was confident about it.
Then how had this one girl reduced him to...this? This empty shell of a man. Or had he always been like this and Rachel had made him feel truly alive? Her, with her wonderful quirks of drinking water when she was sad (which he attributed more to her dads.), being more of a drama queen than he was, the way she idolized Barbara. Streisand. They all made her who she was she was well he was an empty shell-a robot who only knew how to sing.
But she had been his breath of life, something that had made him truly alive.
He still remembered what she said that day.
"and it turns out you were just playing me...I might die...not literally. But emotionally. It'd be the kind of heartbreak girls like me hold for the rest of their lives. Like Barbara in 'The Way we Were'."
On the outside he had laughed and called her a drama queen. But on the inside he had ached to tell her to run because he was playing her...just not in the way she thought.
The day she made that stupid video he tried to act hurt, tried to warn her away. Even left town for her to get the hint. But she hadn't if the 267 voice mails indicated when he got back.
Then came the task of breaking her heart. It was ridiculously easy- which was surprising. Shouldn't something that valuable be locked up for safekeeping? Not carelessly given to the first guy who shows he loves her?
But it seemed that it was not given fully to him. Finn had claimed a part of it first...he had hoped in a perverse way that Finn had all of it because then she wouldn't be hurt as much. But he had no such luck.
When his tires had been slashed it had almost been a physical release. Everyone else had expressed outrage but he had felt relief. The punishment they had inflicted on Rachel was not taken in silence-which would have been worse than any other scheme they could have thought up.
So now...now he was alone. And she had Finn.
He was once again the puppet-the empty shell while she was the star.
Short, sweet and to the point. That's all folks. I know there's tons of fics out there like this but I just thought I'd throw in my two cents. I apologizes for any spelling/grammatical errors that may or may not have occurred. For the record if you want to read some really good Jesse/Rachel fics check out my friend Bedlight-for-blue-eye. She's an amazing, amazing writer and all of her stories are so sweet and great.
Reviews are begged and pleaded for.
